Forums > Social Chat > Self Consciousness
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All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
I've noticed that I've been extremely over self-conscious about my spinning. People always tell me how amazing I am and I always think I'm crappy. I look back at videos of my spinning and only think about how much they suck and am quite embarrassed to show them to people.
Then I started tutoring someone and should be exchanging dance lessons with tutoring lessons if I work out good. SO I showed her some of one of my videos and more like what I want to learn in terms of dancing and footwork. She is one of the best dancers her age in the entire state. And she's telling me that she' not that good, she's pretty clumsy. And I just realized, "Hey, this is probably something very common with dancers, and most likely other types of arts."
So I decided to make this and see if others are like this too. This is probably one of the reasons I've learned so fast is I keep criticizing myself no matter how hard I try to think I'm good.
As a start I'll add on to the above and say that I'm also very very very anal about clean planes, and in my mind when learning thing I generally don't say I can do it, or show it to someone unless it's near perfect planes along with perfect everything else.
I've noticed that I've been extremely over self-conscious about my spinning. People always tell me how amazing I am and I always think I'm crappy. I look back at videos of my spinning and only think about how much they suck and am quite embarrassed to show them to people.
Then I started tutoring someone and should be exchanging dance lessons with tutoring lessons if I work out good. SO I showed her some of one of my videos and more like what I want to learn in terms of dancing and footwork. She is one of the best dancers her age in the entire state. And she's telling me that she' not that good, she's pretty clumsy. And I just realized, "Hey, this is probably something very common with dancers, and most likely other types of arts."
So I decided to make this and see if others are like this too. This is probably one of the reasons I've learned so fast is I keep criticizing myself no matter how hard I try to think I'm good.
As a start I'll add on to the above and say that I'm also very very very anal about clean planes, and in my mind when learning thing I generally don't say I can do it, or show it to someone unless it's near perfect planes along with perfect everything else.
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass 
Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS
Posted:
Never stop criticizing urself, but dont criticize too harshly or ridiculously, you know? I used to be self-concious but most people just get mesmerized by the circles and lights. So no need to worry about that, but as for criticizing urself as a spinner, why, that's what makes you better.
and lol you'd probly hate my spinning. I'm getting used to planes. I learned without knowing what planes were. My crowd tended to be a very spread out audience surrounding. So I'm still learning planes. But I'm much better now.
Never stop criticizing urself, but dont criticize too harshly or ridiculously, you know? I used to be self-concious but most people just get mesmerized by the circles and lights. So no need to worry about that, but as for criticizing urself as a spinner, why, that's what makes you better.
and lol you'd probly hate my spinning. I'm getting used to planes. I learned without knowing what planes were. My crowd tended to be a very spread out audience surrounding. So I'm still learning planes. But I'm much better now. Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!
GOLD Member
enthusiast
324 posts
Location: SouthDakota, USA
enthusiast
324 posts
Location: SouthDakota, USA
Posted:
I'm pretty self conscious of all the stuff I do, from my drawings to spinning to music. It's one of the things that pushes us towards improvement in my opinion. I'm getting a lil bit better about not criticizing myself so much but that's something I've always done and it's a hard habit to break lol. But I'm sure that most artists are like this to some degree.
I'm pretty self conscious of all the stuff I do, from my drawings to spinning to music. It's one of the things that pushes us towards improvement in my opinion. I'm getting a lil bit better about not criticizing myself so much but that's something I've always done and it's a hard habit to break lol. But I'm sure that most artists are like this to some degree.
Listen to Your heartbeat and dance...
SILVER Member
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Posted:
Some people have that certain mindset where they're not happy unless they're miserable trying to accomplish some goal or get something done. Sure they're frustrated and pissed off things aren't going right but they are in fact doing what they want. And it's like they don't even notice how good they've become at things that used to be difficult because they're off getting thrown into the middle of the next goal and so on. Get used to the feeling, it's going to last your whole life!
Some people have that certain mindset where they're not happy unless they're miserable trying to accomplish some goal or get something done. Sure they're frustrated and pissed off things aren't going right but they are in fact doing what they want. And it's like they don't even notice how good they've become at things that used to be difficult because they're off getting thrown into the middle of the next goal and so on. Get used to the feeling, it's going to last your whole life!
"Are you sure it's safe to drink bleach?"
"Yes, bleach is 90% water, we are 90% water, therefore: we are bleach."
-Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
I can tell it is, because that's just the kind of guy I am. That feeling pushed me to end up taking Physics as a Sophomore in high school. Only one to take it btw. It was odd at times being the only sophomore there because most people were Seniors.
I can tell it is, because that's just the kind of guy I am. That feeling pushed me to end up taking Physics as a Sophomore in high school. Only one to take it btw. It was odd at times being the only sophomore there because most people were Seniors.
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
GOLD Member
owner of the group property
1,277 posts
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
owner of the group property
1,277 posts
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
Posted:
I actually had two experiences of this last night at Seattle Tech Spinners' first Wednesday jam. Myself and a spinner I greatly admire were the first to take the floor, and while he can do plenty of things I can't, talking to onlookers later it seems I held my own next to him, which was kind of surprising and flattering. Later one of the really techy spinners showed up, and I was intimidated all over again, to the point that I felt kind of silly spinning next to him. I try to remind myself that he's got an extra two years of experience on me and I'm fast on my way to being in his league if I just re-focus on a few points of technique. But I definitely feel pretty inept most of the time compared to people I see here and at the jams.
I actually had two experiences of this last night at Seattle Tech Spinners' first Wednesday jam. Myself and a spinner I greatly admire were the first to take the floor, and while he can do plenty of things I can't, talking to onlookers later it seems I held my own next to him, which was kind of surprising and flattering. Later one of the really techy spinners showed up, and I was intimidated all over again, to the point that I felt kind of silly spinning next to him. I try to remind myself that he's got an extra two years of experience on me and I'm fast on my way to being in his league if I just re-focus on a few points of technique. But I definitely feel pretty inept most of the time compared to people I see here and at the jams.
p|.q|r:|::s|.s|s:|:.s|q.|:p|s.|.p|s
SILVER Member
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Posted:
Of course it's easy to feel intimidated by a master. I'm amazed at some of the glass wares I see in stores or online and think "
, how am I ever going to match that with my skills?" But at the same time with poi, especially if it's all for fun, you might not think you as poi spinner A isn't near as good as poi spinner B, but think how spectators C-Z would not be able to do practically anything, especially the tricks you spent hours working out. It's all a matter of perspectives and your own personal view will almost always cast you not doing as well as someone with more experience. And even if you're like me and suck at poi, you no doubt have a plethora of other skills you are quite proud of! Hang in there because no doubt your technique is causing somebody else to call into question their own skills.
Of course it's easy to feel intimidated by a master. I'm amazed at some of the glass wares I see in stores or online and think "
, how am I ever going to match that with my skills?" But at the same time with poi, especially if it's all for fun, you might not think you as poi spinner A isn't near as good as poi spinner B, but think how spectators C-Z would not be able to do practically anything, especially the tricks you spent hours working out. It's all a matter of perspectives and your own personal view will almost always cast you not doing as well as someone with more experience. And even if you're like me and suck at poi, you no doubt have a plethora of other skills you are quite proud of! Hang in there because no doubt your technique is causing somebody else to call into question their own skills. "Are you sure it's safe to drink bleach?"
"Yes, bleach is 90% water, we are 90% water, therefore: we are bleach."
-Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
SILVER Member
20% more: DIET ASBESTOS©
34 posts
Location: Lower Mantle, USA
20% more: DIET ASBESTOS©
34 posts
Location: Lower Mantle, USA
Posted:
I used to be overly critical about my visual artwork, and pretty much blew off any compliments i received. This was a destructive habit, and i'm glad that i've broken free of it.
Poi has taught me to accept praise graciously, I've been spinning for about 10 months now, and each new accomplishment feels wonderful.
It is important to find a balance between praise and progression.
I know there is SO MUCH left to master in the realm of poi (and all aspects of life) and that thought keeps things interesting, and free of self-destructive thought patterns.
I used to be overly critical about my visual artwork, and pretty much blew off any compliments i received. This was a destructive habit, and i'm glad that i've broken free of it.
Poi has taught me to accept praise graciously, I've been spinning for about 10 months now, and each new accomplishment feels wonderful.
It is important to find a balance between praise and progression.
I know there is SO MUCH left to master in the realm of poi (and all aspects of life) and that thought keeps things interesting, and free of self-destructive thought patterns.
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Hmm.... I am still surprised when I get compliments. Even though I know I am technically the best around here. (Technical skill alone does not a good performance make, although it can help.)
Hmm.... I am still surprised when I get compliments. Even though I know I am technically the best around here. (Technical skill alone does not a good performance make, although it can help.)
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
PLATINUM Member
bastard child of satan
1,113 posts
Location: Raanana, Israel
bastard child of satan
1,113 posts
Location: Raanana, Israel
Posted:
This tends to happen to me a lot, partly since I'm a perfectionist and if a burn/video/show doesn't feel quite right I end up feeling like I did a really lame show. After this kind of burn I'm always surprised to get compliments.
On the other hand though, the good sessions I have where I end up feeling great about my spinning tend to balance it out, despite the fact that I can still nitpick even these sessions.
This tends to happen to me a lot, partly since I'm a perfectionist and if a burn/video/show doesn't feel quite right I end up feeling like I did a really lame show. After this kind of burn I'm always surprised to get compliments.
On the other hand though, the good sessions I have where I end up feeling great about my spinning tend to balance it out, despite the fact that I can still nitpick even these sessions.
SILVER Member
I thunk, their four I is.
28 posts
Location: Denver, CO, USA
I thunk, their four I is.
28 posts
Location: Denver, CO, USA
Posted:
I am the same, every time i make a video i don't like it after the 3rd time to watch it, all i can see is the mistakes... however getting compliments from other people at shows and spin jams makes me feel good. Plus i remember when i started spinning and a guy doing a spiral wrap and a weave was the coolest thing ever, so be critical, because cocky and overconfident people don't strive to be better. Every time someone says how good they are at poi, i usually see them and just shake my head on the inside, they are good, but not as good as they think. It is like socrates, he conceded he must be the wisest man in his country, because he knew that he knew nothing, whereas everyone else though they knew a lot, but knew nothing.
I am the same, every time i make a video i don't like it after the 3rd time to watch it, all i can see is the mistakes... however getting compliments from other people at shows and spin jams makes me feel good. Plus i remember when i started spinning and a guy doing a spiral wrap and a weave was the coolest thing ever, so be critical, because cocky and overconfident people don't strive to be better. Every time someone says how good they are at poi, i usually see them and just shake my head on the inside, they are good, but not as good as they think. It is like socrates, he conceded he must be the wisest man in his country, because he knew that he knew nothing, whereas everyone else though they knew a lot, but knew nothing.
Life is Good
GOLD Member
owner of the group property
1,277 posts
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
owner of the group property
1,277 posts
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
Posted:
Yeah, I don't think I'd be even as good as I am if I didn't keep going "Bah, my hand circle is only 9/10 of my poi head's circle in this isolation. It's sh!" or "I don't like this, it has too many beats. How can I take out beats?" and so forth. I consider my constant dissatisfaction to be one of my greatest strengths.
Yeah, I don't think I'd be even as good as I am if I didn't keep going "Bah, my hand circle is only 9/10 of my poi head's circle in this isolation. It's sh
!" or "I don't like this, it has too many beats. How can I take out beats?" and so forth. I consider my constant dissatisfaction to be one of my greatest strengths. p|.q|r:|::s|.s|s:|:.s|q.|:p|s.|.p|s
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
Yeah, I am such a ridiculous perfectionist, I keep getting told to do a talent show coming up in April. I kinda want to do it. But I keep thinking, no you're not good enough. And I probably won't end up doing it. I want to have some confidence, geez! I try to see myself as looking good at it, but I just see pure shittyness whenever I look at myself do absolutely anything.
Any advice on that problem? Because I'd love to not be like that.
Yeah, I am such a ridiculous perfectionist, I keep getting told to do a talent show coming up in April. I kinda want to do it. But I keep thinking, no you're not good enough. And I probably won't end up doing it. I want to have some confidence, geez! I try to see myself as looking good at it, but I just see pure shittyness whenever I look at myself do absolutely anything.
Any advice on that problem? Because I'd love to not be like that.
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
SILVER Member
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Posted:
You don't have to do a performance that's all out. If people in your area are that unfamiliar with what we do, then even just a run through of the tricks you are familiar with would still be way more than most people would have seen. Especially with fire, if the organizers would let you do that. If you're comfortable talking to crowds while spinning that would only add to your display.
You don't have to do a performance that's all out. If people in your area are that unfamiliar with what we do, then even just a run through of the tricks you are familiar with would still be way more than most people would have seen. Especially with fire, if the organizers would let you do that. If you're comfortable talking to crowds while spinning that would only add to your display.
"Are you sure it's safe to drink bleach?"
"Yes, bleach is 90% water, we are 90% water, therefore: we are bleach."
-Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
GOLD Member
enthusiast
378 posts
Location: NSW, Australia
enthusiast
378 posts
Location: NSW, Australia
Posted:
Also, accept it won't be perfect and try to relax and have fun with what you're doing.
An audience can usually tell: if you're having fun they'll enjoy it more, if you look uptight that'll worry them too.
That applies to pretty much any public performance but becomes more important if you use fire.
Also, accept it won't be perfect and try to relax and have fun with what you're doing.
An audience can usually tell: if you're having fun they'll enjoy it more, if you look uptight that'll worry them too.
That applies to pretty much any public performance but becomes more important if you use fire.
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
I always have tons of fun while doing it if I'm not freezing, which would be about 4 or 5 of my 8 burns. But it's always afterwards that I get really self conscious about it.
And when I do performances for people, I also kind of show for myself.
And one thing that might be off topic: does it take any kind of training to take pain of dragging the fire poi across your back, or is it actually not as bad as it looks. Because I do take some nasty-hot showers
And I really beyond belief want to do that.
I always have tons of fun while doing it if I'm not freezing, which would be about 4 or 5 of my 8 burns. But it's always afterwards that I get really self conscious about it.
And when I do performances for people, I also kind of show for myself.
And one thing that might be off topic: does it take any kind of training to take pain of dragging the fire poi across your back, or is it actually not as bad as it looks. Because I do take some nasty-hot showers
And I really beyond belief want to do that. The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
SILVER Member
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Fire Spinner Exarch
514 posts
Location: New Orleans, LA United States, USA
Posted:
Find some of that burn resistant gel you see stunt people using when they get lit up! I'm sure if you did it long enough after excess fuel burned off but before the metal bits got really hot it wouldn't be that bad as long as the poi didn't stay in one place. Give it a shot.
And yeah it's still kind of a long shot, not sure if this will actually happen but I told a local band about what I do and the guy I spoke with thought it would be cool to team my spinning up with a couple of dancing girls while they're doing their set. Thought that was cool, though I'd definetly have to invest in some LED poi so I won't be lighting anybody up. Might be bad for my reputation....
Find some of that burn resistant gel you see stunt people using when they get lit up! I'm sure if you did it long enough after excess fuel burned off but before the metal bits got really hot it wouldn't be that bad as long as the poi didn't stay in one place. Give it a shot.
And yeah it's still kind of a long shot, not sure if this will actually happen but I told a local band about what I do and the guy I spoke with thought it would be cool to team my spinning up with a couple of dancing girls while they're doing their set. Thought that was cool, though I'd definetly have to invest in some LED poi so I won't be lighting anybody up. Might be bad for my reputation....
"Are you sure it's safe to drink bleach?"
"Yes, bleach is 90% water, we are 90% water, therefore: we are bleach."
-Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
I have new chain gaurds so the hot metal wont be a problem. I actually got the idea from a performance by Thomas. It looked too cool and fun. I'll probably eventually try it and end up with small burns or something
But burning and fire 'tis the life for me.
I've actually been thinking about telling one of the local bands about what I do. Would spinning to kind of Blink 182 music look ok? I own none of that kind of music so I wouldn't know.
I have new chain gaurds so the hot metal wont be a problem. I actually got the idea from a performance by Thomas. It looked too cool and fun. I'll probably eventually try it and end up with small burns or something
But burning and fire 'tis the life for me.I've actually been thinking about telling one of the local bands about what I do. Would spinning to kind of Blink 182 music look ok? I own none of that kind of music so I wouldn't know.
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
GOLD Member
enthusiast
378 posts
Location: NSW, Australia
enthusiast
378 posts
Location: NSW, Australia
Posted:
Originally Posted By: SpinnerofDetroitAnd one thing that might be off topic: does it take any kind of training to take pain of dragging the fire poi across your back, or is it actually not as bad as it looks. Because I do take some nasty-hot showers And I really beyond belief want to do that.
I have no personal experience but one of the few other spinners I know in the real world said it didn't really hurt at all. Also, it doesn't look like there's an enormous skin reaction afterwards, nor any scars from their doing it before: pain is very subjective but it doesn't seem to be doing any permanent damage.
Depending of course on the fuel, how long you hold it there and as brenonfire said, if any metal bits are involved...
for a short time, with a kerosene and just the flame / kevlar on your skin it'd probably work like firewalking - the sweat on your skin vapourises and forms an insulating layer, so long as you keep it moving and don't get any metal on your skin.
Maybe try it on your leg or somewhere you can get it off in a hurry first, and have ice water or some such available for immediate first aid if you need it.
EDITED_BY: Jameth (1267094562)
Originally Posted By: SpinnerofDetroitAnd one thing that might be off topic: does it take any kind of training to take pain of dragging the fire poi across your back, or is it actually not as bad as it looks. Because I do take some nasty-hot showers
And I really beyond belief want to do that. I have no personal experience but one of the few other spinners I know in the real world said it didn't really hurt at all. Also, it doesn't look like there's an enormous skin reaction afterwards, nor any scars from their doing it before: pain is very subjective but it doesn't seem to be doing any permanent damage.
Depending of course on the fuel, how long you hold it there and as brenonfire said, if any metal bits are involved...
for a short time, with a kerosene and just the flame / kevlar on your skin it'd probably work like firewalking - the sweat on your skin vapourises and forms an insulating layer, so long as you keep it moving and don't get any metal on your skin.
Maybe try it on your leg or somewhere you can get it off in a hurry first, and have ice water or some such available for immediate first aid if you need it.
EDITED_BY: Jameth (1267094562)
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
So it would work better if you're sweating? But thanks, that makes me feel a lot better about that.
So it would work better if you're sweating? But thanks, that makes me feel a lot better about that.
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
GOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA
Posted:
Woooo! I did another burn to celebrate my best friend's end of swim season. I am in love with my own video. I did it similar to Nevisoul's performance to Astrix for a few reasons:
1) I had an unbelievable urge to do it.
2) I knew it so well that I could do certain things without thinking to overcome the fear of spirals.
3) Favorite song, and performance. So it was unbelievably fun.
Although I forgot to wear my hate and tapped the back of my head and singed a small amount of hair. It's not very noticeable, but it scared me.
I will have no problem showing this to anyone
Woooo! I did another burn to celebrate my best friend's end of swim season. I am in love with my own video. I did it similar to Nevisoul's performance to Astrix for a few reasons:
1) I had an unbelievable urge to do it.
2) I knew it so well that I could do certain things without thinking to overcome the fear of spirals.
3) Favorite song, and performance. So it was unbelievably fun.
Although I forgot to wear my hate and tapped the back of my head and singed a small amount of hair. It's not very noticeable, but it scared me.
I will have no problem showing this to anyone
The only luck is bad luck.
Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass
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