Forums > Social Discussion > Broken Hearts-rant away, I did.
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fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom
Posted:
I recently got my heart broken, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the first time in my life that it happened to me.
I've felt pain and sadness before, along with that really empty feeling,and assumed that I had a broken heart, but oh no, this time it was real. I swear I actually heard it the moment it broke,and thinking back on it now, I still get pangs of pain in my chest. Actual physical pain.
I thought I had prepared myself for what was to happen, I thought I was ok, and when the moment came I delt with it gracefully, it was not til later when the reality hit, that I broke down. Although I'm not drowning in depression , and I'm very much ok, and I'm largely accepting it, I still have this underlying sadness that I'm not really aware of. One of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while told me recently that I have lost my sparkle, this is what disturbs me more. I harbour no ill will, and I would'nt really change a thing, but it's this underlying sadness,this hidden fear, this loss of sparkle thats making me slip back into it.
I'm not angry, or depressed, I just want my sparkle back.
I recently got my heart broken, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the first time in my life that it happened to me.
I've felt pain and sadness before, along with that really empty feeling,and assumed that I had a broken heart, but oh no, this time it was real. I swear I actually heard it the moment it broke,and thinking back on it now, I still get pangs of pain in my chest. Actual physical pain.
I thought I had prepared myself for what was to happen, I thought I was ok, and when the moment came I delt with it gracefully, it was not til later when the reality hit, that I broke down. Although I'm not drowning in depression , and I'm very much ok, and I'm largely accepting it, I still have this underlying sadness that I'm not really aware of. One of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while told me recently that I have lost my sparkle, this is what disturbs me more. I harbour no ill will, and I would'nt really change a thing, but it's this underlying sadness,this hidden fear, this loss of sparkle thats making me slip back into it.
I'm not angry, or depressed, I just want my sparkle back.
"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
I think you've got exactly the right attitude.
I'm sure once he realises what he's missing he'll see what a plonker he's been.
My best friend's bf said after 6 years of being with her he wasnt sure if he loved her because he didnt know if there was anything better out there for him!! She was heartbroken, they split up, now 2 years later he's told me she was his soul mate.
I dont know why men are so silly! Why cant they just be happy with what they've got?!
I think you've got exactly the right attitude.
I'm sure once he realises what he's missing he'll see what a plonker he's been.
My best friend's bf said after 6 years of being with her he wasnt sure if he loved her because he didnt know if there was anything better out there for him!! She was heartbroken, they split up, now 2 years later he's told me she was his soul mate.
I dont know why men are so silly! Why cant they just be happy with what they've got?!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
BRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Posted:
I only get the idea that very often on here there's some people-bashing going on, usually "girl-power"-related. I've sketchily shared my experience with a man on here, and I've been pushed quite hard by other women to "name and shame" and publish his name and address so that other girls wouldn't fall for him... wtf??
It just seems that people are all too willing to jump in in the name of support and express their (valid) opinion without thinking how biased and hurtful it can be. Remember the whole affair with Froggy and her ex just because Skully was trying to help her by raising some money... it nearly degraded into a channel 5 talk show!
I'm all for giving support if people need it. But I think there's things that should go between friends, and things that should go public. I'd NEVER go into so much detail about a relationship, especially one I want to work again, on a forum, and if I were him, I'd be deeply hurt if I found out. And yes Jo, I'm aware that you probably didn't mean it exactly like you said it, but that's still NO way to talk about someone. And Medusa, the fact that it took my comment to make you say "he's not a wan-ker BUT..." on a forum and you didn't do it the first time you read it speaks for itself. If I read someone saying that about Sunbird, even if I was incredibly p!ssed off with him at that moment, I'd defend him before other people did.
Make him work hard if you want, it's not my business. I just had a problem with the style, but hey, this is the internet... just don't be surprised if your being extra-prickly now doesn't exactly ease his doubts
I only get the idea that very often on here there's some people-bashing going on, usually "girl-power"-related. I've sketchily shared my experience with a man on here, and I've been pushed quite hard by other women to "name and shame" and publish his name and address so that other girls wouldn't fall for him... wtf??
It just seems that people are all too willing to jump in in the name of support and express their (valid) opinion without thinking how biased and hurtful it can be. Remember the whole affair with Froggy and her ex just because Skully was trying to help her by raising some money... it nearly degraded into a channel 5 talk show!
I'm all for giving support if people need it. But I think there's things that should go between friends, and things that should go public. I'd NEVER go into so much detail about a relationship, especially one I want to work again, on a forum, and if I were him, I'd be deeply hurt if I found out. And yes Jo, I'm aware that you probably didn't mean it exactly like you said it, but that's still NO way to talk about someone. And Medusa, the fact that it took my comment to make you say "he's not a wan-ker BUT..." on a forum and you didn't do it the first time you read it speaks for itself. If I read someone saying that about Sunbird, even if I was incredibly p!ssed off with him at that moment, I'd defend him before other people did.
Make him work hard if you want, it's not my business. I just had a problem with the style, but hey, this is the internet... just don't be surprised if your being extra-prickly now doesn't exactly ease his doubts
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Hey if every other girl wants to think he is a wan-ker I have no problems with that means less competition for me...
I never once said (and I am pretty sure no one else did) that he was a wn-ker just that he was acting like one...there is a difference...I know he is not normally like this...
And as for me talking about it on a board...well...ummm...he knows...and he understands that I need to let off steam...and quite frankly...how come no one else has coped this type of abuse for letting of steam about their exs (or whatever they are meant to be when you are in between)?
Why am I the only one getting abused because I am sharing something that I felt I needed to talk about.
In case you haven't noticed I don't have anyone else to talk but the people on here because I don't know anyone in London...well where else am I supposed to go to actually talk...
I am fine with going eslwhere where I am actually welcome to have a good cry about something that is hurting me but please inform me where that is....
That is why he has no problems with me letting off steam on here actually cause he knows I have no one else to turn to at this point in time.
So sorry to bother you with it...but if you don't like what you read you don't need to go about making people feel even worse than they already do.
Hey if every other girl wants to think he is a wan-ker I have no problems with that means less competition for me...
I never once said (and I am pretty sure no one else did) that he was a wn-ker just that he was acting like one...there is a difference...I know he is not normally like this...
And as for me talking about it on a board...well...ummm...he knows...and he understands that I need to let off steam...and quite frankly...how come no one else has coped this type of abuse for letting of steam about their exs (or whatever they are meant to be when you are in between)?
Why am I the only one getting abused because I am sharing something that I felt I needed to talk about.
In case you haven't noticed I don't have anyone else to talk but the people on here because I don't know anyone in London...well where else am I supposed to go to actually talk...
I am fine with going eslwhere where I am actually welcome to have a good cry about something that is hurting me but please inform me where that is....
That is why he has no problems with me letting off steam on here actually cause he knows I have no one else to turn to at this point in time.
So sorry to bother you with it...but if you don't like what you read you don't need to go about making people feel even worse than they already do.
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Hang on no...after reading back over my posts (as I wasn't sure when I did this male bashing)....I have realised not once have a called him a name, sworn about him or anything...I was just expressing how hurt I was...
Which I bloody well am...
In fact in a number of my e-mails I stated that I loved him...the things i was saying thanks to were the offers of hugs....
Why would anyone who was male bashing say they loved one?
Explain someone?
Hang on no...after reading back over my posts (as I wasn't sure when I did this male bashing)....I have realised not once have a called him a name, sworn about him or anything...I was just expressing how hurt I was...
Which I bloody well am...
In fact in a number of my e-mails I stated that I loved him...the things i was saying thanks to were the offers of hugs....
Why would anyone who was male bashing say they loved one?
Explain someone?
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
Medusa, I think Birgit was referring to me.
Medusa, I think Birgit was referring to me.
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
BRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Posted:
I've said more than once that I hope you'll work everything out. I do wish you all the best, really. It wasn't my intention to upset you, but apparently that wasn't clear enough for some... ah well. So much for speaking my mind... it's obviously not asked for in "discussion", maybe this should be moved to "chat" with the subtitle "please agree"
(MILD SARCASM BUT NOT OF THE MALICIOUS KIND. END DISCLAIMER)
I also hope you went to London because you wanted it, and not just because he did... cause if you did I'm sure you'll be fine whatever happens Have a if you want one I didn't want to make you feel worse. I got the impression from your earlier posts that you'd been quite moody and a bit undecided recently, and maybe he didn't want to tell you about his own doubts to not make things worse... it's probably how I would've reacted in his place. I guess if I've made you feel worse than I must've hit a spot somewhere. But if you put something up for a "discussion" you should've been prepared to hear more than just your own opinion.
I don't agree with the type of talking I criticised about you in general, but I've not read old posts in this thread (I was actually interested in what had happened to you when I saw you'd posted, since I like reading your posts and was a bit concerned! I never even looked at it before for obvious reasons), so I don't know how other people talk about their exes, and frankly, I won't read back because it'll probably wind me up to no end.
If you think you're getting abuse from me I'm sorry, I can't find it anywhere. I'm just speaking my mind, and I did point out that I didn't mean it as a personal attack against you. It's a general thing. Like, quote Jo: "why are men so silly?" Dunno. Maybe because shows like sex and the city teach us that if a woman's undecided she's brave to face her feelings and work a way through, and if a man is he's weak? (Which is why half of them end up with their exes, and another one with a man who wouldn't stand up for her because of his religion... bless modern-day woman!!)
I know as many silly women as I know men, relationship-wise. But on here, there seems to be a stronger tendency of women to talk or even moan (NOT DIRECTED PERSONALLY. END DISCLAIMER) about their exes and other girls hitting in the same kerb no matter what than the other way round, and I don't have to like it. If a man posted "she's done this and that and now I'm playing hard to get", I'd bet my wages on at least 5 people telling him off and advising him to give her a second chance, and not everyone saying "she'll just do the same again in a few months, mate".
Anyways, I'll leave this "discussion" thread to everyone who's broken-hearted, wants to agree with something or wants to give hugs. If anyone wants to discuss this with me, or have a go at me, please use a pm, cause I won't be reading in here anymore and I don't want to take this thread even more off-topic than I've already done.
Apologies for disturbing the peace
I've said more than once that I hope you'll work everything out. I do wish you all the best, really. It wasn't my intention to upset you, but apparently that wasn't clear enough for some... ah well. So much for speaking my mind... it's obviously not asked for in "discussion", maybe this should be moved to "chat" with the subtitle "please agree"
(MILD SARCASM BUT NOT OF THE MALICIOUS KIND. END DISCLAIMER)I also hope you went to London because you wanted it, and not just because he did... cause if you did I'm sure you'll be fine whatever happens
Have a if you want one I didn't want to make you feel worse. I got the impression from your earlier posts that you'd been quite moody and a bit undecided recently, and maybe he didn't want to tell you about his own doubts to not make things worse... it's probably how I would've reacted in his place. I guess if I've made you feel worse than I must've hit a spot somewhere. But if you put something up for a "discussion" you should've been prepared to hear more than just your own opinion.I don't agree with the type of talking I criticised about you in general, but I've not read old posts in this thread (I was actually interested in what had happened to you when I saw you'd posted, since I like reading your posts and was a bit concerned! I never even looked at it before for obvious reasons), so I don't know how other people talk about their exes, and frankly, I won't read back because it'll probably wind me up to no end.
If you think you're getting abuse from me I'm sorry, I can't find it anywhere. I'm just speaking my mind, and I did point out that I didn't mean it as a personal attack against you. It's a general thing. Like, quote Jo: "why are men so silly?" Dunno. Maybe because shows like sex and the city teach us that if a woman's undecided she's brave to face her feelings and work a way through, and if a man is he's weak? (Which is why half of them end up with their exes, and another one with a man who wouldn't stand up for her because of his religion... bless modern-day woman!!)
I know as many silly women as I know men, relationship-wise. But on here, there seems to be a stronger tendency of women to talk or even moan (NOT DIRECTED PERSONALLY. END DISCLAIMER) about their exes and other girls hitting in the same kerb no matter what than the other way round, and I don't have to like it. If a man posted "she's done this and that and now I'm playing hard to get", I'd bet my wages on at least 5 people telling him off and advising him to give her a second chance, and not everyone saying "she'll just do the same again in a few months, mate".
Anyways, I'll leave this "discussion" thread to everyone who's broken-hearted, wants to agree with something or wants to give hugs. If anyone wants to discuss this with me, or have a go at me, please use a pm, cause I won't be reading in here anymore and I don't want to take this thread even more off-topic than I've already done.
Apologies for disturbing the peace
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
There was reference to my name in that post to....about the fact that I didn't die to defend his honour...
That post offended me...people were trying to be nice and now they are being attacked...and I feel attacked too.
So I didn't defend, him doesn't mean I love him less...some people show their love in different ways...
See the fact that I am constantly saying that he hurt me so bad but I love him to me is enough to say I don't think he is a wan-ker but I don't like what he is doing....now wouldn't that seem to show that I don't agree....if I was going to go about male bashing then I could do it a whole lot better than this...
There was reference to my name in that post to....about the fact that I didn't die to defend his honour...
That post offended me...people were trying to be nice and now they are being attacked...and I feel attacked too.
So I didn't defend, him doesn't mean I love him less...some people show their love in different ways...
See the fact that I am constantly saying that he hurt me so bad but I love him to me is enough to say I don't think he is a wan-ker but I don't like what he is doing....now wouldn't that seem to show that I don't agree....if I was going to go about male bashing then I could do it a whole lot better than this...
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
I never wanted agreeance that what he was doing was wrong...it may make perfect sense to someone else...I just wanted someone to share why I hurt and maybe get someone to talk to...
I never wanted agreeance that what he was doing was wrong...it may make perfect sense to someone else...I just wanted someone to share why I hurt and maybe get someone to talk to...
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
Medusa, feel free to cry on my shoulder hun
Medusa, feel free to cry on my shoulder hun
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
BRONZE Member
Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
587 posts
Location: Somewhere, out there..., South Africa
Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
587 posts
Location: Somewhere, out there..., South Africa
Posted:
Ahh Medusa, lots of from me
I had a bad experience ages ago. I dated a guy for 8 months and I loved him. I dropped my friends and went against everyone to be with him, and all he could say to me after we broke up was "I don't know how I feel about you anymore". I found out a week later that he was seeing someone else.
I think your attitude is so right. I wish I couldv'e been like that when I noticed something wasn't right in the relationship. I became too clingy and as a result, made the situation worse.
I truly hope that everything will be sorted out soon
Much love
Ahh Medusa, lots of
from meI had a bad experience ages ago. I dated a guy for 8 months and I loved him. I dropped my friends and went against everyone to be with him, and all he could say to me after we broke up was "I don't know how I feel about you anymore". I found out a week later that he was seeing someone else.
I think your attitude is so right. I wish I couldv'e been like that when I noticed something wasn't right in the relationship. I became too clingy and as a result, made the situation worse.
I truly hope that everything will be sorted out soon
Much love
It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others
Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan
*Owner of Brenn*
SILVER Member
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
comfortably numb
2,676 posts
Location: The countryside, Australia
Posted:
Oh Medusa I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I hope what you're going through doesn't affect your time over in the U.K because I'm really looking forward to meeting you when I come over there. I hope you'll still be around.
Then I can give you hugs and we shall drink together to forget our sorrows!
Unfortunately that won't be until July.
Until then:
Cheer up hun!
Oh Medusa I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I hope what you're going through doesn't affect your time over in the U.K because I'm really looking forward to meeting you when I come over there. I hope you'll still be around.
Then I can give you hugs and we shall drink together to forget our sorrows!
Unfortunately that won't be until July.
Until then:
Cheer up hun!
.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.
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