Forums > Social Chat > (Rant) Being asked "Are you gay?"
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UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
Right....
Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.
Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.
I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.
But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?
I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.
So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE
IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?
Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.
Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.
Right....
Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.
Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.
I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.
But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?
I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.
So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE
IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.
Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
I'd just be all "no".
Problem solved, yes?
I'd just be all "no".
Problem solved, yes?
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
Pooh-Bah
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
Posted:
yes!
i think a lot about being offended is in the mind of the offendee. unless it's somthing particularly harsh, you can normally get over it.
i make it my policy not to be offended unless absolutely necessary.
yes!
i think a lot about being offended is in the mind of the offendee. unless it's somthing particularly harsh, you can normally get over it.
i make it my policy not to be offended unless absolutely necessary.
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
BRONZE Member
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Posted:
lol my girlfriends mum leaned over to my girl the other day whilst drinking coffee in a restaurant. She said " you know what? I think Jonny's going to be gay".... well needless to say, when she told my I almost died of laughter
I think everyone I have ever met thinks I'm gay! Lol worst thing is, I have no idea why!
*confuzzled*
lol my girlfriends mum leaned over to my girl the other day whilst drinking coffee in a restaurant. She said " you know what? I think Jonny's going to be gay".... well needless to say, when she told my I almost died of laughter
I think everyone I have ever met thinks I'm gay! Lol worst thing is, I have no idea why!
*confuzzled*
anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
you sure you dont wanna be gay? your mighty cute 
you sure you dont wanna be gay? your mighty cute GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
I often get asked that too... Dunno why.
Actually I get more come on from girls and very scarcely by boys. Goddammit! Is there something that gay men find attractive in other men than what girls find attractive in men?!
I often get asked that too... Dunno why.
Actually I get more come on from girls and very scarcely by boys. Goddammit! Is there something that gay men find attractive in other men than what girls find attractive in men?!
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
BRONZE Member
member
126 posts
Location: Arana Hills, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
member
126 posts
Location: Arana Hills, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Posted:
Ahhh this brings back memories...i've been asked quite a few times...(i'm not) not cause i talk eloquently...i mean i can and sometimes do use big words...but cause i have a habbit of either not hitting on *insert synonim for females here*
brw what does one call a female of the 16 to 21 bracket? chick is too derogitory, lady/woman too old, girl too young...is there any word that'd suit?
An example was I the only guy at an ex's pool party...surrounded by barely dressed females and was asked if i was gay cause i didn't make a pass at any of them...obviously me just being a gentleman and being decent enough to not hit on an ex's friend never crossed her mind...
Its either that or cause flirt with guys as much and as seriously as i do flirting with girls (ie alot and not at all) so i end up flirting with anything (even a wall) just as a joke...
Seriously i think defining this sorta thing...y bother? Does it matter? ones orientation really does not matter untill...well you all know when it matters so y do ppl feel the need to ask unless they have to know for sure cause they're interested...i mean asking if someone your interested in if they're of a compatable orientation is fine and fair...but otherwise...who cares?
Ahhh this brings back memories...i've been asked quite a few times...(i'm not) not cause i talk eloquently...i mean i can and sometimes do use big words...but cause i have a habbit of either not hitting on *insert synonim for females here*
brw what does one call a female of the 16 to 21 bracket? chick is too derogitory, lady/woman too old, girl too young...is there any word that'd suit?
An example was I the only guy at an ex's pool party...surrounded by barely dressed females and was asked if i was gay cause i didn't make a pass at any of them...obviously me just being a gentleman and being decent enough to not hit on an ex's friend never crossed her mind...
Its either that or cause flirt with guys as much and as seriously as i do flirting with girls (ie alot and not at all) so i end up flirting with anything (even a wall) just as a joke...
Seriously i think defining this sorta thing...y bother? Does it matter? ones orientation really does not matter untill...well you all know when it matters so y do ppl feel the need to ask unless they have to know for sure cause they're interested...i mean asking if someone your interested in if they're of a compatable orientation is fine and fair...but otherwise...who cares?
SILVER Member
I make my own people.
607 posts
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, USA
I make my own people.
607 posts
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, USA
Posted:
Last I heard, the most socially acceptable terms here in America were "broads" and "dames." But of course, I spend most of my day sitting in my cabin in the woods with my shotgun in my lap watching old Humphrey Boghart movies and drinking Jack Daniels.
Written by: Baccory
brw what does one call a female of the 16 to 21 bracket? chick is too derogitory, lady/woman too old, girl too young...is there any word that'd suit?
Last I heard, the most socially acceptable terms here in America were "broads" and "dames." But of course, I spend most of my day sitting in my cabin in the woods with my shotgun in my lap watching old Humphrey Boghart movies and drinking Jack Daniels.
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Posted:
I generally say "Lasses" when talking about girls over 14 and under 35. But I'm not scottish... It's a nice non-offensive word that can be used instead of "females".
I think the suggestion that we wear badges to indicate our sexuality was a good one. Would lead to less embarassing attempts to chat people up, for one thing. You could be like "92% Straight" or "64% Gay" or somesuch.
I generally say "Lasses" when talking about girls over 14 and under 35. But I'm not scottish... It's a nice non-offensive word that can be used instead of "females".
I think the suggestion that we wear badges to indicate our sexuality was a good one. Would lead to less embarassing attempts to chat people up, for one thing. You could be like "92% Straight" or "64% Gay" or somesuch.
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Pooh-Bah
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
Posted:
madam will do fine thank you.
madam will do fine thank you.
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Does the cabin have a power supply or do you watch the Humphrey Bogart movies on a battery operated portable DVD player?
Does the cabin have a power supply or do you watch the Humphrey Bogart movies on a battery operated portable DVD player?
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
Pooh-Bah
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
Posted:
although it would take away the excuse of 'i'm a lesbian' when you really need to get rid of someone....
Written by: Sethis
I think the suggestion that we wear badges to indicate our sexuality was a good one. Would lead to less embarassing attempts to chat people up, for one thing. You could be like "92% Straight" or "64% Gay" or somesuch.
although it would take away the excuse of 'i'm a lesbian' when you really need to get rid of someone....
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Oooh, like a color-coded badge with a red side and a blue side to indicate your straightness or gayness?
So mine would be, say...95% red.
(or pink?)
Oooh, like a color-coded badge with a red side and a blue side to indicate your straightness or gayness?
So mine would be, say...95% red.
(or pink?)
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'm 73% gay according to a gay test... although I thought I was much more than that...
Gay test
I'm 73% gay according to a gay test... although I thought I was much more than that...
Gay test
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
'40% You may act strraight mate, but I'd bet your mother always knew you'd grow up to be gay'
Maybe I should've shown the test this photo. See what they'd think then!
https://www.monster-monster.co.uk/gallery...0-%20Cyberpunks
Wow, shall I smoke my pack of Marlboro Reds now?
'40% You may act strraight mate, but I'd bet your mother always knew you'd grow up to be gay'
Maybe I should've shown the test this photo. See what they'd think then!
https://www.monster-monster.co.uk/gallery...0-%20Cyberpunks
Wow, shall I smoke my pack of Marlboro Reds now?
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Posted:
I got 50 percent, im a happy and well adjusted homo guy. I mhappy with that result alltho I did tick I pluck my eyebrows, I thought I might be abit more :P
Oooh dont forget to watch The Truth about Gay Sex, Monday 15th April on channel 4...according to the channel 4 website
I got 50 percent, im a happy and well adjusted homo guy. I mhappy with that result alltho I did tick I pluck my eyebrows, I thought I might be abit more :P
Oooh dont forget to watch The Truth about Gay Sex, Monday 15th April on channel 4...according to the channel 4 website
Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat
'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
So you dont ACTUALLY pluck your eyebrows? You lied on a test! CHEAT! WANNABE GAY!
I have to pluck mine... or i turn into a werewolf... sad but tru
So you dont ACTUALLY pluck your eyebrows? You lied on a test! CHEAT! WANNABE GAY!
I have to pluck mine... or i turn into a werewolf... sad but tru
BRONZE Member
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Posted:
I pluck my eyebrows... i thought this was normal behaviour :/
I pluck my eyebrows... i thought this was normal behaviour :/
anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast
Scientist of Fortune
1,189 posts
Location: Edinburgh
1,189 posts
Location: Edinburgh
Posted:
I'm as camp as a fairy sometimes so I'm not bothered or surprised about people thinking I'm gay.
Edit: Look left - that's really my face. Frankly I'm surprised I'm not gay.
EDITED_BY: jeff(fake) (1141065909)
I'm as camp as a fairy sometimes so I'm not bothered or surprised about people thinking I'm gay.
Edit: Look left - that's really my face. Frankly I'm surprised I'm not gay.
EDITED_BY: jeff(fake) (1141065909)
According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...
A little bit of a board whore
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
Posted:
What the hell does it matter if someone thinks you're gay or not. Unless it's a woman you really want to sleep with, then you lose absolutely nothing. Everybody I meet assumes I'm straight, but they never get shocked when I talk about my boyfriend.
And remember, as a friend of mine once said (in a moment of genius), "Being straight isn't normal. It's common"
What the hell does it matter if someone thinks you're gay or not. Unless it's a woman you really want to sleep with, then you lose absolutely nothing. Everybody I meet assumes I'm straight, but they never get shocked when I talk about my boyfriend.
And remember, as a friend of mine once said (in a moment of genius), "Being straight isn't normal. It's common"
Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Because ducky there is a fine line that alot of gay men constantly straddle between being noticeably gay enough for a potential mate to seek you out to issues of how camp/butch you are (emphasis on this depends entirely on the individual).
If a straight man is perceived to be gay then it'll kinda ruin his chances with the ladies who will grow to see them in a gay mate/brother way and turn away a few disappointed men. Same for the gay man who if he is perceived to be straight then he might have to turn away lots of disappointed ladies whilst being ignored by other gay men who believe the guy is str8 and therefore out of bounds. No one wants to be alone or hurt someone due to these assumptions. Ideally these assumptiosn wouldn't exist but they do. It's how everyone deals with it that may differ.
Because ducky there is a fine line that alot of gay men constantly straddle between being noticeably gay enough for a potential mate to seek you out to issues of how camp/butch you are (emphasis on this depends entirely on the individual).
If a straight man is perceived to be gay then it'll kinda ruin his chances with the ladies who will grow to see them in a gay mate/brother way and turn away a few disappointed men. Same for the gay man who if he is perceived to be straight then he might have to turn away lots of disappointed ladies whilst being ignored by other gay men who believe the guy is str8 and therefore out of bounds. No one wants to be alone or hurt someone due to these assumptions. Ideally these assumptiosn wouldn't exist but they do. It's how everyone deals with it that may differ.
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
What's the problem in being asked your sexual orientation?
But I understand: If being eloquent gives you an advantage, you should cultivate it. If being male and eloquent makes you gay, you should change or at least question your social environment...
What's the problem in being asked your sexual orientation?
But I understand: If being eloquent gives you an advantage, you should cultivate it. If being male and eloquent makes you gay, you should change or at least question your social environment...
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
GOLD Member
Gromit's Humble Squire
4,496 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Gromit's Humble Squire
4,496 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
Once ages ago I went to a club deemed quite popular with the gay crowd (because it played good house/garage and that's what a mate and I were feeling like that night).. after a while of sitting with our drinks and having a good chat, someone from management came up to us and gave us a couple of membership forms to fill out. Was good for 25% off drinks, no cover charge ever (the cover was usually around $18), plus the ability to sign in a guest! Apparently we were also mistaken for partners (two guys in a gay bar.. 1 and 1 obviously makes 11). Took comfort in the fact that later that night, the real looker of a girl I had been watching on the dancefloor approached me (with her bloke mate), "So what we really want to know is, are you gay or straight? We want to know which of us stands a chance.." Gee.. talk about something that throws you. Must say it was a bit of an ego booster too. In that scenario, I obviously didn't really mind being asked .. And to top it off, her queer mate kept insisting on buying the drinks (long island teas for everyone )!! Bisexuals must be the happiest people.. remind me to remind my imaginary girlfriend 
.
Ah memories. But yes. umm. *grunts in a masculine way & motions arms*
Once ages ago I went to a club deemed quite popular with the gay crowd (because it played good house/garage and that's what a mate and I were feeling like that night).. after a while of sitting with our drinks and having a good chat, someone from management came up to us and gave us a couple of membership forms to fill out. Was good for 25% off drinks, no cover charge ever (the cover was usually around $18), plus the ability to sign in a guest! Apparently we were also mistaken for partners (two guys in a gay bar.. 1 and 1 obviously makes 11
). Took comfort in the fact that later that night, the real looker of a girl I had been watching on the dancefloor approached me (with her bloke mate), "So what we really want to know is, are you gay or straight? We want to know which of us stands a chance.." Gee.. talk about something that throws you. Must say it was a bit of an ego booster too. In that scenario, I obviously didn't really mind being asked .. And to top it off, her queer mate kept insisting on buying the drinks (long island teas for everyone )!! Bisexuals must be the happiest people.. remind me to remind my imaginary girlfriend . Ah memories. But yes. umm. *grunts in a masculine way & motions arms*
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
43% here.
So apparently I'm straight...
Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um...
sausage!
43% here.
So apparently I'm straight...
Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um...
sausage!
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Mmmmmm Cumbrian sausage....
And gravy...
Mmmmmm Cumbrian sausage....
And gravy...
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
addict
663 posts
Location: Glasgow
663 posts
Location: Glasgow
Posted:
Ry: I had that happen to me once. I simply said bi and had them both trying to chat me up for the rest of the night Not that I wouldn't have slept with either of them given half a chance
Ry: I had that happen to me once. I simply said bi and had them both trying to chat me up for the rest of the night
Not that I wouldn't have slept with either of them given half a chance Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Though one time I did snog both members of an engaged couple... She snogged me first and insisted I snogged him too! Though this wasn't the first time anything happened between us. The year before I managed to snog about 9 people (5 girls 4 boys) in one night. I wasn't being a slag, the night just turned into a free for all. The couple were part of the 9 but I didn't know they were a couple then!
Though one time I did snog both members of an engaged couple... She snogged me first and insisted I snogged him too! Though this wasn't the first time anything happened between us. The year before I managed to snog about 9 people (5 girls 4 boys) in one night. I wasn't being a slag, the night just turned into a free for all. The couple were part of the 9 but I didn't know they were a couple then!
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
addict
663 posts
Location: Glasgow
663 posts
Location: Glasgow
Posted:
I bet that was interesting for their marrige councellor
I bet that was interesting for their marrige councellor
Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'm Cumbrian!
But also rather straight... umm... so sorry Doc!!
I'm Cumbrian!
But also rather straight... umm... so sorry Doc!!
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
GOLD Member
Member
89 posts
Location: Caves Beach, NSW, Australia
Member
89 posts
Location: Caves Beach, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Apparently here in Newcastle (Australia) many years ago the identifier was to wear yellow socks if you were gay.
But that was back in the days when it was an illegal and covert activity.
They had a yellow sock day a few years ago to commemorate those days.
Jeff
straight but not afraid to hug a bloke
Apparently here in Newcastle (Australia) many years ago the identifier was to wear yellow socks if you were gay.
But that was back in the days when it was an illegal and covert activity.
They had a yellow sock day a few years ago to commemorate those days.
Jeff
straight but not afraid to hug a bloke
SILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom
Posted:
man, that smiley made me do a double take!
cole. x
Written by: Doc Lightning
Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um...
man, that smiley made me do a double take!
cole. x
"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood
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