Belated intro from The Magnesium Master, Single women please read

THIS HAS BEEN LEFT UP FOR THOSE WHO LIKE TO LAUGH READING THIS THREAD BUT I GOT MARRIED IN JUNE 2007 SO IF YOUR AFTER A HUSBAND YOUR TOO LATE.

This introduction is better late than never.

Since I am terrible at typing and my last years list of new years resolutions included the circulation of my "Wife Wanted Prospectus", I have decided to save myself a lot of of work by pasting this document into this post . It tells you all you are ever likely to want to know about me, completes my new years resolutions and hopefully finds me a good woman all in one go.

Regards, Adrian Johnson, The mad Australian scientist

WARNING LONG READ AHEAD !

Wife Wanted

This prospectus was produced with the specific intent of enabling me to be united with a woman seeking to partake in a life committed to frugal living in an environmentally friendly and spiritually rewarding manner. Unfortunately the modern western lifestyle provides little in the way of opportunities to achieve this objective, and so I am now embarking on a quest to find a woman who practices such a lifestyle and who is seeking a permanent relationship, and have commenced circulating this prospectus to maximise the chances of this occurring, preferably before I become too stubborn and inflexible in my ways, and the fat of old age starts to grow thick upon my gut.

ABOUT ME

I am a 29 year old single Caucasian male and am currently employed producing media for the propagation of plants by tissue culture after having returned to Uni and completed a Bachelor of Applied Science degree majoring in Microbiology and Physiology at QUT in November 2002. Previously I worked as an Auto Electrician and then was self-employed in the areas of second hand dealing, auto electrical work and odd jobs for 12 months before returning to Uni in February 2000. I was born and raised in Brisbane and completed year 12 in 1993 and have been studying or employed almost constantly since then.

My interests include camping, hiking, fire twirling, flea markets, rock climbing, tax and investment issues, the construction of sustainable and/or ultra low maintenance affordable energy efficient housing, self sufficiency including the maintenance of reserves of food, water and other items related to maintaining quality of life during hard and not so hard times, and enjoy being very frugal with my money.

I am of sound moral character; maintain a healthy lifestyle devoid of drugs, smoking, alcohol, poor food, gambling, and most of the other vices that curse our society. I believe in responsibility, loyalty and honourable conduct and always live within my means and avoid indebtedness in order to save first before making any purchases if at all possible.

In recent years I have become committed to practicing Christian principles with regards to my daily life, and also become quite fanatical about conserving the Earth’s dwindling resources by reducing my level of consumption. In addition I am also strongly committed to reducing the number of under utilised possessions I own. This is the direct result of an audit I performed to determine what was actually needed to have an acceptable living standard, while the grave and imminent threat of unemployment was hanging over my head. This resulted in me discovering that material satisfaction is approximately proportional to the log of the number of possessions a person owns, and is probably the greatest discovery I have ever made, and understanding the implications of this makes it impossible to ever accept the modern western way of life as anything other than abhorrent , if not totally insane. I intend to continue these activities in the future, so if you are interested in a greedy, selfish, sinful life based upon waste and excessive consumption to satisfy your limitless desires, or even worse to impress other people, then don’t bother to read any further.

Currently I reside at Oxley on the South West side of Brisbane, and am likely to continue to do so for the next 12 to 18 months due to real estate and employment commitments. However I eventually would like to move to a coastal regional area of either Queensland, New South Wales, or the North Island of New Zealand as Brisbane degenerates into an overcrowded city like Sydney, and the attendant rise in real estate price rises provide me with the means to leave for an area more compatible with quality of life and a climate compatible with self sufficiency.

Hopefully within the next 2-3 years I will have completed the necessary preparations to facilitate this outcome. Prospective partners must be well aware of the fact that such lifestyles require great frugality and sound investment making in order to be achievable, and have the capacity and desire to make the sacrifices needed to achieve a degree of financial security compatible with the reduction in income that such a move will bring. Please note that I also have the desire to maintain several modern services, eg running water, refrigeration, clothes washing equipment, hot water and electric lighting and probably motorised transport if I can afford it, and there is fuel available to run it with.

My main attributes that you may consider detract from an otherwise ideal partner include the fact that I do not have the slightest hint of romance to my name, have no sense of tact nor charm when being asked about the physical appearance or weight of women, have the occasional patch of scaly skin upon my body, and am a natural born pessimist with a great liking for finding all the badness the world has to offer and then complaining about it until I forget what I started complaining about in the fist place.

Having spent most of my adult life working to become financially secure, combined with having no interest in the usual meeting places such as pubs and nightclubs, has made it nigh on impossible to find a suitable woman without having to resort to selectively distributing this prospectus to women that are turned on by the above details, or are likely to know some one suitable.

The following is a summary of my interests and general lifestyle

In general I:

1. Have no interest in commercial television programs, or any loud objectionable music

2. Avoid retail shopping at all costs, instead preferring auctions, flea markets, recycling centres, commercial supply companies and the Trading Post to source my worldly needs.

3. Believe in fixing faulty items and adapting junk to avoid buying anything new, but not to the point of taping up old rotting rubber wires and kitchen utensils.

4. Do not support or trust any mainstream political parties, have an absolute hatred of drugs and intoxicants of all types, and support any policy that promotes sound environmental management, sustainability and the reduction of waste, and the creation of economic conditions favourable to employment and long term investment strategies.

5. Want to become self sufficient with regards to my food, water and electricity supply and ultimately want to acquire land to facilitate this outcome.

6. Dislike built in obsolescence and the existence of a throw away culture.

7. Like my possessions made out of stainless steel, borosilicate glass or from other appropriate materials so as to maximise their durability and result in a lower long-term cost per unit of time.

8. Do not like debt if it can possibly be avoided.

9. Enjoy activities such as rock climbing, camping and hiking and fire twirling.

10. Do not have any interest in nightclubs, pubs, movies and most of the typical activities engaged in by the general public.

11. Have no children from previous relationships.

12. Am spiritually aware, and conduct my daily activities in a manner that is both consistent with and conducive to further such development.

13. Am not involved with any organization that attempts to gain control of its follower’s minds, assets or social activities in any way.

14. Love intelligent conversation, especially about controversial subjects.

15. Am educated and capable of becoming more so.

16. Am easy to deal with, not irrational, not quarrelsome, and am both open to and capable of reasoning and logic.

17. Am becoming increasingly interested in (most say fanatical about) energy issues like peak oil, as well as the environmental effects of our daily activities

My physical characteristics are as follows

· Hight 172 cm

· Weight 65kg

· Of average build and appearance

· Good overall health

· Date of birth 28/4/1976

To be considered as a potential partner you should consider such a person to be compatible with yourself, and ideally have a logical scientific mind, and be employed in the fields of science, medical and health services, agriculture, education, accountancy or self-employed. You must also meet each of the following essential non negotiable requirements.

ESSENTIAL NON NEGOTIABLE REQUIREMENTS

1. Must be seeking a permanent monogamous relationship.

2. Must be in acceptable mental and physical health and have a good diet, including actively avoiding any substance or activity likely to promote poor health.

3. Must be of sober and drug free habits such that no intoxicating substance enters your body at any time in sufficient amounts to exert an intoxicating effect, or preferably not enter your body in any amount at all.

4. Must be a non smoker.

5. Must be employed or otherwise financially secure.

6. Must be clean of lifestyle and living environment.

7. Must be of wise and frugal spending habits and have a proven commitment to living within ones means, and in a way that minimises both the wastage of resources and the undue degradation of the Earth.

8. Must be of sound moral character and have a genuine interest in improving one’s morals, behaviour and desires as an ongoing process.

9. Must be seeking a relationship with someone meeting all the above essential selection criteria

DESIRABLE PHYSICAL ATRIBUTES

Ideally you should have the following traits

1 Have a feminine, curvaceous figure.

2 Be size 12, 14 or 16.

3 Not have an excess of bodily hair.

4 Be soft and very smooth to the touch.

5 Not have extensive photo degenerative skin damage nor partake of activities that will induce such damage, i.e. lying in the sun, if of Caucasian extraction.

6 Women with a strong genetic tendency to being soft, smooth and UV stabilised, in particular of Indian, Oriental, Mediterranean, Polynesian and Middle Eastern extraction, as well as non photo degraded Caucasian women will be well regarded.

7 Hight between 160 and 175 centimetres.

8 Aged between 22 and 34.

9 Generally be of correct proportions and of mechanically sound construction.

10 Not wear excessive make up or jewellery, nor be excessively adorned with tattoos or piercings.

TO MAKE CONTACT WITH ME

Call

(If I have left my name and contact details, many copies of this prospectus are blank as they may be distributed in electronic form, and can thus get distributed to undesirable persons who send spam, etc.)

Or arrange to meet me via the person who provided you with this document.

VERSION NUMBER 7 PROSPECTUS 15/5/2005

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