Forums > Introductions > Vanize Intro
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Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Well, since so many people had their intro threads wiped out and are starting new ones, I figure I could use these events to start my own, ultra-untimely intro, seeing as how I've been around HoP for like 3 years.
So then:
Name: Vance
Alias: Van, Vanize, Add, Zaidou (my 'African' name) ... oh, and I almost forgot, Pixie Banger! (don't ask if you don't really want to know).
Age: 34 (35 now)
Location: Potchefstroom, South Africa (WSW of Jo'berg) presently. Grew up in Houston, Texas. Most of my Family lives in Austin, Texas. I'm moving to Berlin, Germany in January for 2 years. (ok, been in Berlin for a year now)
Favourite Toys: sailboats (been sailing 29 years), surfboards (been surfing 19 years), poi (3.5 years) (almost 5 years now)
Occupation: Reasearch scientist (Ph.D. in space physics)
Hobbies: Too many - sailing, surfing, poi, scale models, travelling, collecting stamps and paper money from places I visit, Dungeons & Dragons, SCUBA diving, tropical fish, reading, painting, drawing, getting projects ready for Burningman, ....
Your favourite website/s: www.burningman.com
Music: I'll listen to most anything except modern country music. My favorites are classical (e.g. vivaldi, beethoven), trance, classic rock (led zep, hendrix, beatles), and what used to be called alternative (foo fighters, pixies, whale, ...)
Movies: blade runner (director's cut), strictly ballroom, band of brothers (more like a mini series I guess), amelie, ... er, I know there are more, but I can't think of them just now.
Books: mostly sci-fi, fantasy, and history.
Philosophy: Technological Gaiaism, Quantum Fatalism
Favourite Colour: Burgandy ( sorry Alice!)
Favourite Quote/Saying:
From a movie: "Gentleman, we have a blind date with destiny, and she just ordered the lobster!" - the Shoveler (Mystery Men).
From literature: "The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love" - W. Somerset Maughn
From personal life: "I was just telling Sara K. that I have no particular segway between being stone cold sober and really wasted. Then she kicked her glass of water across the room..." - Zouwera (Christmas day, 2002, west africa)
So that is that. We'll see if it goes anywhere, eh?
EDITED_BY: vanize (1111489303)
Well, since so many people had their intro threads wiped out and are starting new ones, I figure I could use these events to start my own, ultra-untimely intro, seeing as how I've been around HoP for like 3 years.
So then:
Name: Vance
Alias: Van, Vanize, Add, Zaidou (my 'African' name) ... oh, and I almost forgot, Pixie Banger! (don't ask if you don't really want to know).
Age: 34 (35 now)
Location: Potchefstroom, South Africa (WSW of Jo'berg) presently. Grew up in Houston, Texas. Most of my Family lives in Austin, Texas. I'm moving to Berlin, Germany in January for 2 years. (ok, been in Berlin for a year now)
Favourite Toys: sailboats (been sailing 29 years), surfboards (been surfing 19 years), poi (3.5 years) (almost 5 years now)
Occupation: Reasearch scientist (Ph.D. in space physics)
Hobbies: Too many - sailing, surfing, poi, scale models, travelling, collecting stamps and paper money from places I visit, Dungeons & Dragons, SCUBA diving, tropical fish, reading, painting, drawing, getting projects ready for Burningman, ....
Your favourite website/s: www.burningman.com
Music: I'll listen to most anything except modern country music. My favorites are classical (e.g. vivaldi, beethoven), trance, classic rock (led zep, hendrix, beatles), and what used to be called alternative (foo fighters, pixies, whale, ...)
Movies: blade runner (director's cut), strictly ballroom, band of brothers (more like a mini series I guess), amelie, ... er, I know there are more, but I can't think of them just now.
Books: mostly sci-fi, fantasy, and history.
Philosophy: Technological Gaiaism, Quantum Fatalism
Favourite Colour: Burgandy ( sorry Alice!)
Favourite Quote/Saying:
From a movie: "Gentleman, we have a blind date with destiny, and she just ordered the lobster!" - the Shoveler (Mystery Men).
From literature: "The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love" - W. Somerset Maughn
From personal life: "I was just telling Sara K. that I have no particular segway between being stone cold sober and really wasted. Then she kicked her glass of water across the room..." - Zouwera (Christmas day, 2002, west africa)
So that is that. We'll see if it goes anywhere, eh?
EDITED_BY: vanize (1111489303)
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Posted:
Watches in awe...
yes, yes YESSS! *jumps up and down excitedly*
Any bets? any bets?
~ Bobo
Watches in awe...
yes, yes YESSS! *jumps up and down excitedly*
Any bets? any bets?
~ Bobo
wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier
I don't want a title.
940 posts
940 posts
Posted:
Oh! Am I late? I'm sure pounce saved me a front row seat, at least!
::settles in and cheers wildly::
Oh! Am I late? I'm sure pounce saved me a front row seat, at least!
::settles in and cheers wildly::
E pluribus unum, baby.
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
*sneaks in in babyoil-proof suit, ties vanize left leg to lightnings right leg with whip borrowed from pounce, settles back nexy to regyt to see what happens next..*
how do miss R?
*sneaks in in babyoil-proof suit, ties vanize left leg to lightnings right leg with whip borrowed from pounce, settles back nexy to regyt to see what happens next..*
how do miss R?
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Violation Bluecat!!! You must be stark nekkid to enter the ring!!!
Girls, strip him and throw him in here!
(and that is what happens next!)
Violation Bluecat!!! You must be stark nekkid to enter the ring!!!
Girls, strip him and throw him in here!
(and that is what happens next!)
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
babyoil-proof suit...also known as...skin!
funnily enough. as a small child my father was working on something in his lab, and his experiment went horribly wrong. he was left with particles on his skin that were transferred to me when picked up and cuddled... leaveing me with this amazing mutation: babyoil just falls off me!! hahahaha!!!!!!
babyoil-proof suit...also known as...skin!
funnily enough. as a small child my father was working on something in his lab, and his experiment went horribly wrong. he was left with particles on his skin that were transferred to me when picked up and cuddled... leaveing me with this amazing mutation: babyoil just falls off me!! hahahaha!!!!!!
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
*sits back in comfort and watches the two of them try to sort out who gets the whip first...*
*sits back in comfort and watches the two of them try to sort out who gets the whip first...*
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!
that means you will be easy to grab and we will still be just as slippery since we are covered in oil!
you are so going down !
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!
that means you will be easy to grab and we will still be just as slippery since we are covered in oil!
you are so going down !
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
This is wrestling for heavens sake! you don't use whips in wrestling!!!
This is wrestling for heavens sake! you don't use whips in wrestling!!!
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
i don't think you understand... your hands will just fall off me.
anyway:
*having finished installing an unreachable webcam using other superpowers granted during further pre-teen experimentation() bluecat sprints out and sets up live web-betting ring*
ciao amigos.
back later to sort out the mess
i don't think you understand... your hands will just fall off me.
anyway:
*having finished installing an unreachable webcam using other superpowers granted during further pre-teen experimentation(
) bluecat sprints out and sets up live web-betting ring*ciao amigos.
back later to sort out the mess
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Lightning performs a semi-voluntary kick freeing himself from Van's grasp and pivots around, so that suddenly BlueCat can tie our legs together.
Lightning takes advantage of this moment to wrap his arms around Van's middle again, one around the back and one around the front, and tickle his belly button with both hands.
Quote:
Vanize shakes off the temporary rage at his opponents dirty and underhanded trick, wipes a large drop of baby oil from his brow, and grabs lighnings left foot and begins tickling ferociously.
Lightning performs a semi-voluntary kick freeing himself from Van's grasp and pivots around, so that suddenly BlueCat can tie our legs together.
Lightning takes advantage of this moment to wrap his arms around Van's middle again, one around the back and one around the front, and tickle his belly button with both hands.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
I guess BLuecat doesn't wanna be a cabana boy... oh well.
I guess BLuecat doesn't wanna be a cabana boy... oh well.-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Ok, that's it lightning! I'm pulling out all the stops!
With super human will, Vanize allows his opponent a couple of seconds of low down dirty underhanded belly button poking while he wheels around and gert lightning into a classic scissors leg lock (yes, these work even with baby oil) and begins to squeeze mearcilessly till the pain and inability to breath forces Lightning to rethink his low down dirty underhanded belly button poking ways!
say uncle! say uncle! (saying uncle won't lose you the fight, just an admission that you won't use the low down dirty underhanded belly button poking manuever again if I let you out of the scissors lock)
The women should be quite entertained by this seeing as how lightning is now stuck between vanize's legs....
I trust Spritie will take care of that webcam which is violating our privacy rights - this is not a sport for spectators not present to watch!
Ok, that's it lightning! I'm pulling out all the stops!
With super human will, Vanize allows his opponent a couple of seconds of low down dirty underhanded belly button poking while he wheels around and gert lightning into a classic scissors leg lock (yes, these work even with baby oil) and begins to squeeze mearcilessly till the pain and inability to breath forces Lightning to rethink his low down dirty underhanded belly button poking ways!
say uncle! say uncle! (saying uncle won't lose you the fight, just an admission that you won't use the low down dirty underhanded belly button poking manuever again if I let you out of the scissors lock)
The women should be quite entertained by this seeing as how lightning is now stuck between vanize's legs....
I trust Spritie will take care of that webcam which is violating our privacy rights - this is not a sport for spectators not present to watch!
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Northeast USA Firespinner
122 posts
Location: Connecticut, USA
Northeast USA Firespinner
122 posts
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted:
*hops in the pool, hops out before Lightning or Vanize can get their hands on him, then cleans his feet off*
well that was easy ^_^
*starts scritching regyt's hair*
"Would you like a drink?"
Quote:
Last one remaining in the pool wins, but everyone who gets in and wrestles gets to be a cabana boy
*hops in the pool, hops out before Lightning or Vanize can get their hands on him, then cleans his feet off*
well that was easy ^_^
*starts scritching regyt's hair*
"Would you like a drink?"
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
oh, technicallities will not win you points with either me or the women you may well be serving soon!
Girls, grab him too! don't let him get away without giving you a show!!!
oh, technicallities will not win you points with either me or the women you may well be serving soon!
Girls, grab him too! don't let him get away without giving you a show!!!
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Using his superhuman breath control powers (I've easily passed the Navy SEAL challenge of swimming 50 meters underwater and I can hold my breath for 90 seconds voluntarily), Lightning starts tickling the back of Van's knees with one hand and the bottom of the nearest foot with the other, which allows enough of a relaxation of grip for Lightning to wriggle free of the scissor's grip.
Lightning braces himself against the side of the pool and firmly pushes on Van's exposed backside with both feet so that he goes skittering off at a dangerous speed towards the opposite side of the pool...
Could this be it? Is Van going to slip out of the pool?
Using his superhuman breath control powers (I've easily passed the Navy SEAL challenge of swimming 50 meters underwater and I can hold my breath for 90 seconds voluntarily), Lightning starts tickling the back of Van's knees with one hand and the bottom of the nearest foot with the other, which allows enough of a relaxation of grip for Lightning to wriggle free of the scissor's grip.
Lightning braces himself against the side of the pool and firmly pushes on Van's exposed backside with both feet so that he goes skittering off at a dangerous speed towards the opposite side of the pool...
Could this be it? Is Van going to slip out of the pool?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Northeast USA Firespinner
122 posts
Location: Connecticut, USA
Northeast USA Firespinner
122 posts
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted:
nooo! *starts running wildly for.. the hills?* ahhhhh!! I sowee! I sowee! Even as tempting as baby oil wrestling might be.. I don't know if I'm old enough to consent yet
nooo! *starts running wildly for.. the hills?*
ahhhhh!! I sowee! I sowee! Even as tempting as baby oil wrestling might be.. I don't know if I'm old enough to consent yet SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
someone has obviously never been in a scissors lock if they think the ability to hold your breath matters one iota... but whatever!
Vanize begins laughing as lightning realizes he just tried to push off the side of a vinyl inflateable childrens wading pool and it mearly bends out of shape with his thrust, giving him little or no sliding velocity...
(this really is a very challenging sport, and allmost no tactics that you think are going to work actually do - it's very frustrating. More often than not, male opponents usually quit from exhaustion before anyone actually wins. Women tend to usually have a true winner though for some reason)
someone has obviously never been in a scissors lock if they think the ability to hold your breath matters one iota... but whatever!
Vanize begins laughing as lightning realizes he just tried to push off the side of a vinyl inflateable childrens wading pool and it mearly bends out of shape with his thrust, giving him little or no sliding velocity...
(this really is a very challenging sport, and allmost no tactics that you think are going to work actually do - it's very frustrating. More often than not, male opponents usually quit from exhaustion before anyone actually wins. Women tend to usually have a true winner though for some reason)
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
I think it's because, in my experience, men fight to settle an issue and women fight to kill or severely maim.
Hell hath no fury...
Anyways...
Lightning lunges at Van with a bloodcurdling scream and in Van's confusion, Lightning manages to give a quick vigorous strokes to Van's carotid body. The carotid massage causes a vagal reflexive response that drops heart rate and blood pressure enough to cause a transient loss of consciousness (as carotid massages tend to do), during which Lightning unceremoniously dumps Van out of the pool and onto the sand.
I think it's because, in my experience, men fight to settle an issue and women fight to kill or severely maim.
Hell hath no fury...
Anyways...
Lightning lunges at Van with a bloodcurdling scream and in Van's confusion, Lightning manages to give a quick vigorous strokes to Van's carotid body. The carotid massage causes a vagal reflexive response that drops heart rate and blood pressure enough to cause a transient loss of consciousness (as carotid massages tend to do), during which Lightning unceremoniously dumps Van out of the pool and onto the sand.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Vanize comes too...
whoa... that was cool!
do it again! do it again!
And we have a winner! lightning, with his superior knowledge of anatomy has taken the prize!
Now then Lightning - go get the lady spectators some drinks as your first act as cabana boy - they look awefully parched. we wouldn't want the ladies to be parched. you can wash the baby oil off whenyou are done with that.
Mind you, you are the one who is going to have to take on Shadow Steppin when he comes.
Vanize comes too...
whoa... that was cool!
do it again! do it again!
And we have a winner! lightning, with his superior knowledge of anatomy has taken the prize!
Now then Lightning - go get the lady spectators some drinks as your first act as cabana boy - they look awefully parched. we wouldn't want the ladies to be parched. you can wash the baby oil off whenyou are done with that.
Mind you, you are the one who is going to have to take on Shadow Steppin when he comes.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
Quote:
I think it's because, in my experience, men fight to settle an issue and women fight to kill or severely maim.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
And I suppose heXus' willingness to at least jump into the arena and then offer a woman a drink does qualify him for a cabana boy position as well.
we'll need someone to fill in when lightning has to go sew people's fingers back on anyway.
And I suppose heXus' willingness to at least jump into the arena and then offer a woman a drink does qualify him for a cabana boy position as well.
we'll need someone to fill in when lightning has to go sew people's fingers back on anyway.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Sorry, Van. Can't do it again. I only serve the ladies now.
Well, unless the guy is really hot.
Although I've heard you're hot.
Right, so...I wouldn't dare try to make drinks while all oiled, so let me go wash up.
Meanwhile, would you mind unpacking that blender and dumping that crushed ice into the cooler?
Ok, how many daquris do we have and how many pina coladas?
Sorry, Van. Can't do it again. I only serve the ladies now.
Well, unless the guy is really hot.
Although I've heard you're hot.
Right, so...I wouldn't dare try to make drinks while all oiled, so let me go wash up.
Meanwhile, would you mind unpacking that blender and dumping that crushed ice into the cooler?
Ok, how many daquris do we have and how many pina coladas?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
i want a pina colada myself please, with real coconut of course
congratulations! well done boys. it was quite amusing, we must do this again. i believe shadow will be here later, he was detained by some evil co-workers i think.
i think that was so much fun to watch that i'd actually like to try it myself. i'm sure i could win actually, i'd probably lose cause i'd be laughing so much that regyt would take advantage and kick my ass. that's ok. i'm sure i'd enjoy it
i want a pina colada myself please, with real coconut of course
congratulations! well done boys. it was quite amusing, we must do this again. i believe shadow will be here later, he was detained by some evil co-workers i think.
i think that was so much fun to watch that i'd actually like to try it myself. i'm sure i could win
actually, i'd probably lose cause i'd be laughing so much that regyt would take advantage and kick my ass. that's ok. i'm sure i'd enjoy it I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Posted:
ohh...I'll take a strawberry daquiri please if someone can find some fresh strawberries...
Oh, and another way to end an oil wrestling session is to have one guy just pick up the other...But lightening did a good job...
He might even get some help with that baby oil if he'd like...
ohh...I'll take a strawberry daquiri please if someone can find some fresh strawberries...
Oh, and another way to end an oil wrestling session is to have one guy just pick up the other...But lightening did a good job...
He might even get some help with that baby oil if he'd like...
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Oh, and Sprite, I have no idea how Van found out that you spilled his weakness to me. Honest.
(please don't hurt me)
Oh, and Sprite, I have no idea how Van found out that you spilled his weakness to me. Honest.
(please don't hurt me)
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Posted:
oh, you deserve to be tortured...but you are my only cabana boy at the moment, so that will be your saving grace for now...
oh, you deserve to be tortured...but you are my only cabana boy at the moment, so that will be your saving grace for now...
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Watch it, Spritie. I might wind up liking it.
Watch it, Spritie. I might wind up liking it.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Posted:
oh, well then here's a good spanking
It's probably not as good as the one I'll be getting for helping you though...
oh, well then here's a good spanking
It's probably not as good as the one I'll be getting for helping you though...
I don't want a title.
940 posts
940 posts
Posted:
::squeals in delight::
(::in a butch sort of way, of course::)
I want something spicy with crushed ice and raspberries, boy!
Quote:
And we have a winner! lightning, with his superior knowledge of anatomy has taken the prize!
::squeals in delight::
(::in a butch sort of way, of course::)
I want something spicy with crushed ice and raspberries, boy!
E pluribus unum, baby.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Do you like just a drop of tobasco with your sweet, then?
Do you like just a drop of tobasco with your sweet, then?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
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