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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick &the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Get the last word in: Apologize.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
271 posts
Location: Manchester, England
he he he, put a mile on my face this morning that did...ta:rollsmile:
boing...boing...When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive.Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar.Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder.
271 posts
Location: Manchester, England
..oops, well it was quite a wide grin, but not that wide
boing...boing...When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive.Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar.Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder.
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
quote:I liked this one the best
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Absolutely a great list
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.
Gidg
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
mmmmmmm, I think I am just going to have to wait a bit until this thread sinks, and then I can use one of these as my new signature...
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
884 posts
Location: 43°41'N 79°38'W
Sorry Rozi.
Hey Patrick, great list man. Where did you get it? 'Tis funny stuff.
Hey Paddy!
Just here and there. Possibly came up with a few myself
Actually an elf left it on my comp at work. Yeh, that's the ticket!
How's spinning on the beach on Sundays? Hope to make it out to Trinity on Tuesday.
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