Forums > Social Chat > the offside rule explained (for girls)
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667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
THE OFFSIDE RULE EXPLAINED (FOR GIRLS)
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes which you have just
seen and HAVE to have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.
Dilemma: Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till
waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of
the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw (pass) her purse
to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of
the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the
other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
However until the purse had *actually been thrown* you are not allowed
to move in front of the other shopper - (otherwise you would be
'Offside')...
So. how simple is that?
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4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
its a joke
has everyone lost there sense of humour today
it was an email sent to me.
and besides mr majestic did u become a mrs majestic overnight it does say (for girls) on there girls will see the funny side
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
maybe i did, you'll never know will you
(hehe, you're going to be angry at my post in your other joke thread then
)why not just post these in an already existing joke thread instead of making two new ones?
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Has sharp edges
1,266 posts
Location: Stuck in the mire, USA
I'm a guy and it made me giggle My ADD makes it so that.....Ooooo SHINY.....wanna go ride bikes....wait....where am I.....
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Probably not a good idea to point out the inherent sexism of the joke that it's demeaning to girls when implying that all girls think about is shopping and shoes?
*runs and hides*
Oooh a toffee apple...!
(Just so you know I have no idea what the offside rule is and the joke didn't make it any clearer!)
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
*deleted*
sorry bit tired and got wound up
EDITED_BY: dani_babyboo (1148648771)
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
thankyou loki and neon dont worry girls can take jokes ya know lol
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Written by: Mr Majestik
ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?
I think he was asking why such a stupid rule was put in the game in the first place...
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
yer i made a joke back at him with did he become a mrs majestic
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
whatever, i just thought the reason for 'joke' threads was to organise jokes into one or tow places and not have billions of threads with one joke each.fell free to do as you please
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
well after working 60 hours a week and no day off i have no time to search for actual joke threads i jus thought ppl would have a giggle at a couple of jokes i had by email
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
Written by: dani_babyboo
after working 60 hours a week a
sucks to be you. hope you have a weekend worthy of a queen "but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
i work the weekends also
run a subway shop on evening shift
so thius lovelly bank holiday weekend is gona be spent till 1am serving customers
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
Well, i thought it was funny, but why would you be in a queue without a purse?
I'll have to tell my bird about this one!
ah wah wah wah a wah wah
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
tought break. hope you get more pay on a holiday!
dont hate HoP its really friendly, as long as you dont go near the discussion board 
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
I know the offside rule and don't like shoes and usually have my purse.
But it was funny
Might forward it to my friend Phil, so that he understands what Corinna and I are on about when the footie's on
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
Has sharp edges
1,266 posts
Location: Stuck in the mire, USA
Written by: Mr Majestik
dont hate HoP its really friendly, as long as you dont go near the discussion board
My ADD makes it so that.....Ooooo SHINY.....wanna go ride bikes....wait....where am I.....
addict
667 posts
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United Kingdom
lol i knew the rule before im a huge fan but when ever a guy trys to explain it he does it in football terms a lot of women who arent really into football dont understand but in that way fr a woman who knows exactly what its like to want the last pair of shoes its a good explanation
and very very funny also
enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token
o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek
stepped up promotions
enthusiast
360 posts
Location: Oxford, United Kingdom
Written by: Neon_ShaolinWritten by: Mr Majestik
ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?
I think he was asking why such a stupid rule was put in the game in the first place...
It's really quite simple, and it stops people goal hanging (waiting too close to the goal for an easy shot), basically if you're closer to the other end of the pitch than their last defender & the ball is passed to you, you're offside. That's it
I make my own people.
607 posts
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, USA
I still don't understand. What sport is this? What's a "queue" and a "till." This is all so confusing to me.
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
It's a rule for when playing Soccer...
Don't worry, I'm British and I still don't fully understand it (I'm getting there though)
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
Look! I'm Darth Bunny!
446 posts
Location: Sunny South Africa
Rreminds me of "Bend it like Beckam" where the guy tries to explain the offside rule to his wife using the mustard and mayonnaise bottles
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo ho fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
I found it funny:) andnow I actualyl understand the offside rule
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
Pooh-Bah
1,848 posts
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia
and i'm even more confused, what are you talking about?
"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie
"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia
I have no idea... even after that explanation!! maybe that's because I don't actually know the rules of soccer...
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