Forums > Social Chat > Presents

Posted: 23 years ago
hmmmm *think think think*
i believe there's a difference between a present that you have bought for somebody and one that you have made yourself. i would feel bad if i made somthing for a friend and then he/she gave it away (perhaps because it has to be someone REALLY special to make me get my ass up and make something )
it also depends if i know the other person and if i like him/her, if he/she is going to appreciate it, if he/she is going to use it... there's lots of variables in there, even your own mood the moment you are told...
of course if i had been 3 days working day and night on something very special for somebody and heard that somebody else has it, i'm quite sure i would feel bad...
as with food, i always like it when people share anything i have made, even if i made it specially for somebody and he/she shares it, it makes me feel like i've made something good that is making people enjoy...
many thoughts running around in my head, gotta try and catch them...
come here! *runs around chasing his own head*
gotcha! oh no... just another dirty image...
*runs away*

Don't you destroy your enemy by making him your friend?? - Rev Bem (Magog), Andromeda

Posted: 23 years ago
I think it depends upon how the gift is given as that can add sentimental value, which is the true gift. If the book is a physical carrier of an idea for sharing then it's given with intent to pass on the idea, so pass it on. If it's given as a personal gift for you to have and treasure, then keep it and treasure it.

We can see the non-acceptance of a gift as rejection of ourselves by that person, and that's the true power to upset us. We need to see the passing of a loved gift not as rejection, but as that love continued.

If I'd made or spent a while selecting a gift for somebody I'd be saddened (or rejected) to see them toss it aside immediately or give it away to someone else. But if I knew they treasured it and then passed it on, knowing its worth, to someone who will further treasure it, then my sadness is lessened and replaced with joy that my gift continues on a path that brings happiness to more people.

Posted: 23 years ago
I think it'd depend on the circumstances in which it was given away again.

Using poi as an example, if I made a pair and gave them to a friend to learn with, then learnt that they gave them away because they'd just bought a newer pair, I'd be mightily pissed off.

If however, my friend had given them to someone he was friends with saying something like 'I was given these poi to learn to spin with, and now I'm passing them on to you for the same reason', that wouldn't bother me so much.
In fact, I'd probably be pleased they were getting used properly

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Posted: 23 years ago
Actually, now that Dom's post is up (it wasn't when I was writing mine), that's pretty much what I was trying to say, just written much more eloquently, and much clearer

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Posted: 23 years ago
Dom, Bovril, I could not agree more I guess...

thanks for the input and the light, really.

How about that :

sometimes I receive presents and they feel like traps more than they feel like presents.... manipulation rather than generosity...

In parts of Indonesia, when someone dies, the tribe gives the family presents for teh dead . the family will have to pay it back somehow and so sometimes those "gifts" were just about making that one family become your slaves ...

it got me thinking a lot...

Also another thing was that campaign I think i told you about, Dom It was some NGO for teh poor and the poster said "if you are not giving out of kindness, then don't give"... WHo on earth are they to judge why people give to charity ... and if someone's actually starving ... should you refuse help, even if it comes from some asshole trying to buy himself good conscience ???

What do you think ???

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 23 years ago
Dead Right Cassandra.

I don't hear many homeless people syaing 'Sorry I will not accept your money because you are giving to assuage your guilt and not out of kindness of your heart'. I don't think somebody starving gives a damn about peoples motives for helping them and are just grateful for whatever help they can get.

I'm sure the fool who thought of the poster campaign who got paid a huge amount to come up with that. Out of the kindness of their hearts of course

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

Posted: 23 years ago
*thinks* hmmm.... *thinks* Dammit, I think that it isn't good to give away presents. This si because all items hold some amount of sentimental value, no matter how small it is. Some remind you of the good times, some remind you of the bad. But both are needed to find true happiness in that which you have.

You. Its whats for dinner!

As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.

The wave crashing on the beach