Ok, now I need advice.

Ok, boyfriend rant... And I don't even care if he reads it (although I don't think he's been reading the board much lately).

Ok, so last Sunday, P and I had a date to go and get out HIV test results back and then we were going to watch the weekly screening of "Queer as Folk" at the gay bar (which is right next to the HIV testing place).

So on Sunday afternoon, I called him (his cell) and was told "I can't talk right now because I'm in Toronto and it's really expensive. I'll call you back." confused

So at 9PM (5 hours later), I went to get my results back and afterwards, I called him expecting him to tell me the same thing, to which my response was going to be: "You found a way to get yourself to Toronto without warning, so you can afford to talk to me for a couple of minutes and explain what the censored

you're doing in Toronto!" INSTEAD, he told me that he had been in Canada en route to Boston (which is where he's from...it's faster to go through Canada then around it from Michigan).

He told me that because he had nothing to do all week, he had left on the spur of the moment that morning. I said "why didn't you call me and tell me about it?" He said, "Well, it was spur of the moment." But he had to take at least an hour to get up and shower and get dressed and stuff and then to pack the car...and then he has another hour on US soil (when he could have called me) before he hits the border. And then why hadn't he called me back the instant he hit US soil again??? Anyways, I was so taken aback and angry at being stood up for something like this that I just reminded him that I have my fire-eating gig on Friday (tomorrow) and that he had promised to be my assistant.

So I called my best friend and told him about it and said "and you know what? If he calls me and says that he's not coming back for the show, I think I'm breaking up with him."

Now, to add to this, his car is in sore need of repair. So as soon as he got to Boston he took it to the garage. I got a voicemail last night saying "And I have news that is going to make you upset." The news is that his car won't be ready until Saturday.

Now this is TWICE he's pulled something like this on me with switching travel plans on top of important days to me (last time was my birthday). I also have a swim meet coming up soon and, it's a gay meet so there will be a circuit-like party afterwards. I want him to be there. But I'm afraid that something will come up with his new job and he won't be there, either.

I'm angry not because he's missing the gig, but because he was so inconsiderate and short-sighted as to take off to Boston in a broken car without telling me and without thinking that, "gee, I might not be able to keep my promise to Mike!" But I can't very well fault him that his car is taking so long to fix. But I'm angry because I feel like I can't trust him.

Or can I?

This is making me angry and I hate being angry. I'm supposed to be having fun this summer and now he's completely ruined two important days that were supposed to be fun for me (and screwed me over in a professional commitment because now I need to scramble for another assistant).

When he gets back, I figure here are my options (this is how I think when I get upset...I try to make lists so that I don't just rage and get nowhere):

1) Forgive him.

2) Explain to him why I'm so angry and tell him that I expect him to come to the meet with me next week and it will be his opportunity to regain my trust.

3) Break up with him on the spot.

Option (1) has the advantage of not ending the relationship, but it lets him walk all over me, and frankly, this is twice in less than a month that he's pulled something like this.

Option (2) has the advantage of not ending the relationship, but then I have to sit there and wonder about the outcome.

Option (3) has the advantage of being decisive and final, but...ouch. frown

Any other ideas? What would you do?

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

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