Forums > Social Chat > Teen Drinking
Login/Join to ParticipateBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
i hate preaching. especially when i can't really talk because i'm a teen, and one who is 1.5 months under the legal drinking age, myself. however last night i went to a party for a while(friend of a friend).
there was 3 guys and 1 girl. the guys were the 15-ish mark, the girl was 13.
this 13 year old girl was smashed. her shorts were falling down exposing her g-string. it was so sad and i was so freaking worried about her. her boyfriend (whom she had been with for a week) was completely off his nut more than her...he greeted us at the door with "haha, i have a boner". i was insanely worried about this girl! i managed to catch her in the bathroom and have a bit of a chat to her, but it, of course, went in one ear and out the other. but i refused to leave until i knew she was ok.
i managed to get her to sleep in the parents bedroom. i know parents bedrooms are supposed to be no-go zones, but i felt that there are priorities in life! so i managed to get her to sleep in there. turned the light off and shut the door.
that was all good until the boyfriend decided it was time for him to go to sleep as well! and he stormed into the parents room saying "my girlfriends in there" and got into bed with her and wouldnt move. we just couldnt move him! so we had to leave them. but he was pretty passed out and she was half asleep so we dont think anything would have happened. the boyfriend just wasnt going to move, and by now there were other people, not just me trying to separate them.
sorry, i just had to rant. i dont know about any of the other females here, but i feel there is a girl thing where you look out for each other, even if it means putting a stranger at a party to bed. i just felt incredibly worried about that girl. and it was great that two of the guy friends i was with (i was the only girl at my party as well) fully supported me in my taking care of the girl.
i hope that girl doesnt wake up in the morning feeling anything worse than a hangover.
i hate preaching. especially when i can't really talk because i'm a teen, and one who is 1.5 months under the legal drinking age, myself. however last night i went to a party for a while(friend of a friend).
there was 3 guys and 1 girl. the guys were the 15-ish mark, the girl was 13.
this 13 year old girl was smashed. her shorts were falling down exposing her g-string. it was so sad and i was so freaking worried about her. her boyfriend (whom she had been with for a week) was completely off his nut more than her...he greeted us at the door with "haha, i have a boner". i was insanely worried about this girl! i managed to catch her in the bathroom and have a bit of a chat to her, but it, of course, went in one ear and out the other. but i refused to leave until i knew she was ok.
i managed to get her to sleep in the parents bedroom. i know parents bedrooms are supposed to be no-go zones, but i felt that there are priorities in life! so i managed to get her to sleep in there. turned the light off and shut the door.
that was all good until the boyfriend decided it was time for him to go to sleep as well! and he stormed into the parents room saying "my girlfriends in there" and got into bed with her and wouldnt move. we just couldnt move him! so we had to leave them. but he was pretty passed out and she was half asleep so we dont think anything would have happened. the boyfriend just wasnt going to move, and by now there were other people, not just me trying to separate them.
sorry, i just had to rant. i dont know about any of the other females here, but i feel there is a girl thing where you look out for each other, even if it means putting a stranger at a party to bed. i just felt incredibly worried about that girl. and it was great that two of the guy friends i was with (i was the only girl at my party as well) fully supported me in my taking care of the girl.
i hope that girl doesnt wake up in the morning feeling anything worse than a hangover.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
ok, I just want to bump this thread because I'm having an argument on msn with my mate.
He says that I shouldn't impose my moral values on other people and that I shouldn't make the decision for people (this came up in regards to the story i began this thread with).
And I agree that someone's "first time" or whatever is completely up to them, and I will advise people on the matter if they ask me, but I will never impose a decision on them. But I stand by my actions on this night 2 years ago when I tried to help this girl (who still won't be legal drinking age now, although I am).
And I feel like my friend has backed me into a corner by telling me that I am closed minded and imposing my values on others. But i believe that although we need to make our own decisions and no blame others, that society still should look out for each other (i rememer PyroWill posting about looking out for a girl who had her drink spiked).
So what would other people have done? Would they have helped the girl and potentially "impose moral values" or would they have let her "make her own decision"?
ok, I just want to bump this thread because I'm having an argument on msn with my mate.
He says that I shouldn't impose my moral values on other people and that I shouldn't make the decision for people (this came up in regards to the story i began this thread with).
And I agree that someone's "first time" or whatever is completely up to them, and I will advise people on the matter if they ask me, but I will never impose a decision on them. But I stand by my actions on this night 2 years ago when I tried to help this girl (who still won't be legal drinking age now, although I am).
And I feel like my friend has backed me into a corner by telling me that I am closed minded and imposing my values on others. But i believe that although we need to make our own decisions and no blame others, that society still should look out for each other (i rememer PyroWill posting about looking out for a girl who had her drink spiked).
So what would other people have done? Would they have helped the girl and potentially "impose moral values" or would they have let her "make her own decision"?
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
sounds like your friend has a very narrow view of the world, ask your friend what they think about [Old link] and ask where the difference is in someone stepping in and saying its not appropriate behaviour
sounds like your friend has a very narrow view of the world, ask your friend what they think about [Old link] and ask where the difference is in someone stepping in and saying its not appropriate behaviour
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
SILVER Member
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
Posted:
you dont make rational decisions when you are drunk so while it may have ben HER decision to get drunk, it may not have been her normal rational decision making for anyhting else.
i know what your friend would've been saying about them choosing to get drunk so they should accept what happens to them and their choices while drunk, but i'm of the opinion that to not help someone when they're para and not in a normal state of mind is wrong because THEIR MORALS are most likely not what they normally would be. personally i would rather a clear thinking sober person impose their morals on an intoxicated me rather than me follow my own drug influenced morals.
its called "looking out for your friends", and i think extending that to looking out for other people in society (in that circumstance) is only a good thing.
considering the amount of things people regret doing when drunk i'd say its fairly safe to say if you were to meet her again she'd only be thanking you for looking out for her when she was unable to do it for herself
you dont make rational decisions when you are drunk so while it may have ben HER decision to get drunk, it may not have been her normal rational decision making for anyhting else.
i know what your friend would've been saying about them choosing to get drunk so they should accept what happens to them and their choices while drunk, but i'm of the opinion that to not help someone when they're para and not in a normal state of mind is wrong because THEIR MORALS are most likely not what they normally would be. personally i would rather a clear thinking sober person impose their morals on an intoxicated me rather than me follow my own drug influenced morals.
its called "looking out for your friends", and i think extending that to looking out for other people in society (in that circumstance) is only a good thing.
considering the amount of things people regret doing when drunk i'd say its fairly safe to say if you were to meet her again she'd only be thanking you for looking out for her when she was unable to do it for herself
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
BRONZE Member
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Posted:
there are so many reasons why underages shouldn't drink and if i see kids drinking i will go mad at them. and you see it all the time 12-16 year olds getting drunk in the park, its stupid and no i never did it. I'm not stopping them from doing it as hell i'm not their parents but some of thier parents do let them drink and know about it anyway. if they were mine then they just wouldn't be alowed to go to the park with their mates. simple as. But while i will/can not stop them doesn't mean i have to pretend to be ok with it, but have lost count the amount of times i have delt with the after mouth of their actions, from arsey parents blaming me in the first place to holding hair back and making sure they get home safley.
If you think something is wrong there is nothing wrong with voicing your view especialy when the welfare of others are involved.
there are so many reasons why underages shouldn't drink and if i see kids drinking i will go mad at them. and you see it all the time 12-16 year olds getting drunk in the park, its stupid and no i never did it. I'm not stopping them from doing it as hell i'm not their parents but some of thier parents do let them drink and know about it anyway. if they were mine then they just wouldn't be alowed to go to the park with their mates. simple as. But while i will/can not stop them doesn't mean i have to pretend to be ok with it, but have lost count the amount of times i have delt with the after mouth of their actions, from arsey parents blaming me in the first place to holding hair back and making sure they get home safley.
If you think something is wrong there is nothing wrong with voicing your view especialy when the welfare of others are involved.
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
GOLD Member
Member
120 posts
Location: Nr Petersfield, United Kingdom
Member
120 posts
Location: Nr Petersfield, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'd have helped. I always help drunk people at parties, (seeing as I hardly ever drink anything, I'm normally one of the better people to do so). You did the right thing.
I'd have helped. I always help drunk people at parties, (seeing as I hardly ever drink anything, I'm normally one of the better people to do so). You did the right thing.
SILVER Member
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
Posted:
not like me to be so blunt, but... you're mate's an idiot...
you did *exactly* the right thing, beth. the lines may get a little bit fuzzy if the girl was older, but she was 13... she was not capable of making the right decision, I don't care what anyone says.
my daughter is 13... assuming she was silly enough to find herself in that girl's predicament, I'd love to think there was someone out there like you, looking out for her.
not like me to be so blunt, but... you're mate's an idiot...
you did *exactly* the right thing, beth. the lines may get a little bit fuzzy if the girl was older, but she was 13... she was not capable of making the right decision, I don't care what anyone says.
my daughter is 13... assuming she was silly enough to find herself in that girl's predicament, I'd love to think there was someone out there like you, looking out for her.
--pogo (pat) [forever and always]
Future Mrs Pogo
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
Posted:
I had an experience last night where parents were allowing their daughter who was maybe 16 to be just a general bitch!
My daughter had to go and cheer at her first game of the season and it was almost an hour away. Well, we got there, met up with her squad and then went to sit in the stands. A couple of minutes later, this girl and her parent s come and sit down behind us where the
proceeds to blast an air horn right by my ear.
Well, after I crawled back into my skin, I tuned around and said, "Please don't do that again, I have a splitting headache and you scared this little girl to death." (I ahd my daughter's step sister with me, too.)
She spouted back that she could do whatever the hell she wanted to do and her parents didn't say a word to her!
Okay, fine! I had them escorted out by security.
Nice trip back, honey!
My point in this is that alot of parents seem to encourage this kind of behaviour in their children nowadays and so it's no wonder that the whole word is going to hell in a handbasket.
Personally, I have been ver lucky so far in that my son (18)
has never tried either drugs or alchohol and wears this fact like a badge of honour. I hope I'll be as kucky with my daughter but she kind of scares me. Too much like me, I guess.
Beth, you are one of the few who cares enough to try to really do something in this type of situation. You deserve a medal!!!
I had an experience last night where parents were allowing their daughter who was maybe 16 to be just a general bitch!
My daughter had to go and cheer at her first game of the season and it was almost an hour away. Well, we got there, met up with her squad and then went to sit in the stands. A couple of minutes later, this girl and her parent s come and sit down behind us where the
proceeds to blast an air horn right by my ear. Well, after I crawled back into my skin, I tuned around and said, "Please don't do that again, I have a splitting headache and you scared this little girl to death." (I ahd my daughter's step sister with me, too.)
She spouted back that she could do whatever the hell she wanted to do and her parents didn't say a word to her!
Okay, fine! I had them escorted out by security.
Nice trip back, honey!
My point in this is that alot of parents seem to encourage this kind of behaviour in their children nowadays and so it's no wonder that the whole word is going to hell in a handbasket.
Personally, I have been ver lucky so far in that my son (18)
has never tried either drugs or alchohol and wears this fact like a badge of honour. I hope I'll be as kucky with my daughter but she kind of scares me. Too much like me, I guess.
Beth, you are one of the few who cares enough to try to really do something in this type of situation. You deserve a medal!!!
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small, enkindles the great."
--Comte Debussy-Rebutin
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,984 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,984 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Posted:
erm i cant safely say i have never got drunk in a park or a place like that its always at a mates house and we dont go completely over the top ... *prepares for shouting at*
erm i cant safely say i have never got drunk in a park or a place like that its always at a mates house and we dont go completely over the top ... *prepares for shouting at*
Actually back on HoP guys ...
Owned By MiG
Owns Fyre and Mods_Stole_My_Name
Future Mrs Pogo
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
Posted:
Not condemning anyone except for the parents who allow it to happen.
I just don't believe in knowingly promoting alchoholism in your children!!!
I happen to know an 8-year old alchoholic!!!!!
Sad, sad, sad.
Not condemning anyone except for the parents who allow it to happen.
I just don't believe in knowingly promoting alchoholism in your children!!!
I happen to know an 8-year old alchoholic!!!!!
Sad, sad, sad.
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small, enkindles the great."
--Comte Debussy-Rebutin
GOLD Member
Do you do the poiz?
530 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Do you do the poiz?
530 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
This is a topic i would love to have the time to make a decent length post about but unfortunately cant right now. So lets do a short one :P
Anyone can be stupid with their drinking regardless of age. In my younger teens i didnt really drink (19 Now), perhaps a glass of wine at a family dinner, but i never really enjoyed the taste. I know some people the same age who would go out to get as drunk as they could every friday and saturday night.
Perfect example of teen drinking for me was on friday night at moonfest. It was about midnight and our group had decided to head off after a good night of twirling until we noticed a really drunk teenager (probably 18?) virtually passed out on the grass.
Ended up staying back for about half an hour giving her water and letting her be sick until she was comfortable enough to walk. When a couple of the girls woke her up she didnt even know where she was, her friends had just left her. Luckily managed to get directions from her and dropped her home. She also told us that she was already drunk before she had come, why? Because she had been drinking with her parents before she came.
Now its not such a bad suburb, but being passed out in a dark park with people you dont know at the early hours of the morning can NOT be a good thing.
She didnt know her limits, and its finding your limits and learning to drink within them where alot of people fail. Its the 'drink to get drunk' attitude that i see as the problem. Unfortunately alot of people i know of that age just dont see it any other way.
Just my small rant, but i think you did exactly the right thing
This is a topic i would love to have the time to make a decent length post about but unfortunately cant right now. So lets do a short one :P
Anyone can be stupid with their drinking regardless of age. In my younger teens i didnt really drink (19 Now), perhaps a glass of wine at a family dinner, but i never really enjoyed the taste. I know some people the same age who would go out to get as drunk as they could every friday and saturday night.
Perfect example of teen drinking for me was on friday night at moonfest. It was about midnight and our group had decided to head off after a good night of twirling until we noticed a really drunk teenager (probably 18?) virtually passed out on the grass.
Ended up staying back for about half an hour giving her water and letting her be sick until she was comfortable enough to walk. When a couple of the girls woke her up she didnt even know where she was, her friends had just left her. Luckily managed to get directions from her and dropped her home. She also told us that she was already drunk before she had come, why? Because she had been drinking with her parents before she came.
Now its not such a bad suburb, but being passed out in a dark park with people you dont know at the early hours of the morning can NOT be a good thing.
She didnt know her limits, and its finding your limits and learning to drink within them where alot of people fail. Its the 'drink to get drunk' attitude that i see as the problem. Unfortunately alot of people i know of that age just dont see it any other way.
Just my small rant, but i think you did exactly the right thing
"In the end there is only fire and a waterfall"
Future Mrs Pogo
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
4,728 posts
Location: The wrong place
Posted:
Short?
Sounds like you have a good head on you shoulders regardless of your still very young status.
Terrors, darlin.'
Kudos to you also for caring enough to help out.
We all have to learn by living but, I swear that I am amazed that we live to learn those lessons sometimes. So many times I have wished that I could get through to the mind of a young person and get them to understand that their behaviour was not only crazy but detrimental to their health and well being.
Unfortunately, when you're young you have no idea at the status of you own mortality so...
around and around we go.
I just really don't know what to think other than that, I made it through my youth and those who are meant to make it through their own, will, and those who weren't, won't.
Karma is a bitch and fate is a harsh master but we either learn or we perish.
Short?
Sounds like you have a good head on you shoulders regardless of your still very young status.
Terrors, darlin.'
Kudos to you also for caring enough to help out.
We all have to learn by living but, I swear that I am amazed that we live to learn those lessons sometimes. So many times I have wished that I could get through to the mind of a young person and get them to understand that their behaviour was not only crazy but detrimental to their health and well being.
Unfortunately, when you're young you have no idea at the status of you own mortality so...
around and around we go.
I just really don't know what to think other than that, I made it through my youth and those who are meant to make it through their own, will, and those who weren't, won't.
Karma is a bitch and fate is a harsh master but we either learn or we perish.
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small, enkindles the great."
--Comte Debussy-Rebutin
SILVER Member
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
Posted:
nice work, tony... but I'd have expected nothing less...
I'm glad she was found by you and not someone like the group of idiot drunks that greeted pix, the kids and I on the way outta the park...
nice work, tony...
but I'd have expected nothing less... I'm glad she was found by you and not someone like the group of idiot drunks that greeted pix, the kids and I on the way outta the park...
--pogo (pat) [forever and always]
SILVER Member
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
Posted:
hey,
well i work in a pub, it's a rock pub and we have a lot of bands on and this means all ages gigs too.
i really really don't have a problem with having the kids in the venue. i don't mind serving water all night, i don't mind dishing out a million pints of coke (we make most profit on that anyway). If they try to get served, then fair play, it's always worth a try, but the posters say "One drink per person, id will be checked" so i ask for ID, and you would not belive the excuses they come up with. and then its throwing a strop, shouting at me, etc etc. ok, try get served, and if i don't serve you (therefore keeping my job, and my boss pub) you tried. live with it.
But they never stop there... it is an offence to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18. it's a HUGE fine. its also an offence to bring and consume your own alcohol on the premisies, no matter how old you are.
On Saturday night i spent more time checking people (kids) weren't drinking than i did serving. i confiscated drinks overage kids had bought for kids, i confiscated two bottles of vodka, and i even had to explain to some kids mother that if her son did not have ID he couldn't drink even if she'd bought it for him.
Now, i drank underage, and i know its part of growing up, etc etc etc. but why go to all that trouble??!!!
go to a pub you know will serve you underage (and god knows theres enough of them in this city).
I'm 19 now, and i don't drink. occasionally i might have the odd one, but mostly i dont. i dunno why really. Working at the pub makes me realise what twats people can be when they get drunk. i don't want to be like that. i got bored of drinking, because i drank underage. the novelty wore off. i smoke more when i drink. i get free soft drinks at the pub so it's cheeper. tonnes of reasons.
there is so sooooooo much more i could add to this, but to be honest, i doubt anyone wants to hear me rant!!!
hey,
well i work in a pub, it's a rock pub and we have a lot of bands on and this means all ages gigs too.
i really really don't have a problem with having the kids in the venue. i don't mind serving water all night, i don't mind dishing out a million pints of coke (we make most profit on that anyway). If they try to get served, then fair play, it's always worth a try, but the posters say "One drink per person, id will be checked" so i ask for ID, and you would not belive the excuses they come up with. and then its throwing a strop, shouting at me, etc etc. ok, try get served, and if i don't serve you (therefore keeping my job, and my boss pub) you tried. live with it.
But they never stop there... it is an offence to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18. it's a HUGE fine. its also an offence to bring and consume your own alcohol on the premisies, no matter how old you are.
On Saturday night i spent more time checking people (kids) weren't drinking than i did serving. i confiscated drinks overage kids had bought for kids, i confiscated two bottles of vodka, and i even had to explain to some kids mother that if her son did not have ID he couldn't drink even if she'd bought it for him.
Now, i drank underage, and i know its part of growing up, etc etc etc. but why go to all that trouble??!!!
go to a pub you know will serve you underage (and god knows theres enough of them in this city).
I'm 19 now, and i don't drink. occasionally i might have the odd one, but mostly i dont. i dunno why really. Working at the pub makes me realise what twats people can be when they get drunk. i don't want to be like that. i got bored of drinking, because i drank underage. the novelty wore off. i smoke more when i drink. i get free soft drinks at the pub so it's cheeper. tonnes of reasons.
there is so sooooooo much more i could add to this, but to be honest, i doubt anyone wants to hear me rant!!!
SILVER Member
addict
544 posts
Location: swansea, United Kingdom
addict
544 posts
Location: swansea, United Kingdom
Posted:
im a youth worker and have to deal with this day in and day out. the kids fall into youth club at 5pm smashed out of there skulls and start to fight and mess around and a lot of the time they fall over on to the little ones. they are the older kids and the younger ones look up to them. now my jkob is very dificult as i have to options and there both bad ones.
i can
a)throw them out and ban them which means anything could happen to them on the street and only there mates are them to help, which would mena the younger ones dont have to see it.
or
b)i can keep them safe in the youth club, take the rest of the drink off them and the younger ones have to see them drunk and end up thinking its cool to get smashed every night.
and i have to make this decision almost every night.
im a youth worker and have to deal with this day in and day out. the kids fall into youth club at 5pm smashed out of there skulls and start to fight and mess around and a lot of the time they fall over on to the little ones. they are the older kids and the younger ones look up to them. now my jkob is very dificult as i have to options and there both bad ones.
i can
a)throw them out and ban them which means anything could happen to them on the street and only there mates are them to help, which would mena the younger ones dont have to see it.
or
b)i can keep them safe in the youth club, take the rest of the drink off them and the younger ones have to see them drunk and end up thinking its cool to get smashed every night.
and i have to make this decision almost every night.
DONT DO DRUGS THERE BAD FOR YOU.
SO GIVE THEM ALL TO ME AND I WILL GET RID OF THEM FOR YOU!
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Hear, hear... This is a very important aspect and plays well into a discussion we're having in another section of this forum... I'd add to this that IMHO some parents are encouraging their children in all kinds of strange and inappropriate behaviour these days (as in all times)...
Now, what do we define as "appropriate"?
Written by: fyrespirit
My point in this is that alot of parents seem to encourage this kind of behaviour in their children nowadays and so it's no wonder that the whole word is going to hell in a handbasket.
Hear, hear... This is a very important aspect and plays well into a discussion we're having in another section of this forum...
I'd add to this that IMHO some parents are encouraging their children in all kinds of strange and inappropriate behaviour these days (as in all times)... Now, what do we define as "appropriate"?
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
SILVER Member
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
Posted:
I think all kids need to push the bounderies to find out what they can and can't get away with, thats growing up, but if they don't have to push far, they will get frustrated and keep pushing no matter the consequences (trust me, my parents were - and still are - super overprotective and i did a lot of stupid suff!)
On the other hand, if they dont have any bounderies they keep doing stupid stuff to get a reaction...
it's a fine line, and probably impossable to define, so much is ambigous, depends on the kid, upbringing, friendship circles etc etc etc etc
I think all kids need to push the bounderies to find out what they can and can't get away with, thats growing up, but if they don't have to push far, they will get frustrated and keep pushing no matter the consequences (trust me, my parents were - and still are - super overprotective and i did a lot of stupid suff!)
On the other hand, if they dont have any bounderies they keep doing stupid stuff to get a reaction...
it's a fine line, and probably impossable to define, so much is ambigous, depends on the kid, upbringing, friendship circles etc etc etc etc
SILVER Member
journeyman
84 posts
Location: USA
journeyman
84 posts
Location: USA
Posted:
I have weird views on alcohol, but they worked for me growing up. Im 22, and my parents have always let me take sips of beer or wine since I was about 13. If I wanted a beer, they would let me, as long as I was not going anywhere that night, and they were at home. There were times they got me a 6 pack, and let me hang out with a friend at the house and we would drink (only with very good friends, and their parents knew they were drinking too.)
They knew I went out and drank sometimes, but I really didnt go out and drink until about 15 years old. They had one rule... if I was out drinking or with others that were drinking, I was not to get in a car with anyone drinking under any circumstances, I was to call and they would pick me up, no questions asked. I was also to tell them where I was going. I called my parents on a few occasions saying my ride was drunk, or I didnt feel good and wanted them to come get me, and they ALWAYS did. Letting me drink and have it be okay made the temptation less. I did get way too drunk at times, but I still never took a second thought at calling my parents. Even called them at times after I turned 21 and had them pick me up. Every new Years they go out and drive me to wherever I want to go... so they know Im okay.
I believe alcohol and teens go hand in hand with their parents. If the parents teach them that alcohol is okay in moderation, and know how to be safe... teens arent going to go nuts every weekend when a friends parents are out of town. I could drink at home, so I didnt need to go out and get wasted behind their backs.
I have weird views on alcohol, but they worked for me growing up. Im 22, and my parents have always let me take sips of beer or wine since I was about 13. If I wanted a beer, they would let me, as long as I was not going anywhere that night, and they were at home. There were times they got me a 6 pack, and let me hang out with a friend at the house and we would drink (only with very good friends, and their parents knew they were drinking too.)
They knew I went out and drank sometimes, but I really didnt go out and drink until about 15 years old. They had one rule... if I was out drinking or with others that were drinking, I was not to get in a car with anyone drinking under any circumstances, I was to call and they would pick me up, no questions asked. I was also to tell them where I was going. I called my parents on a few occasions saying my ride was drunk, or I didnt feel good and wanted them to come get me, and they ALWAYS did. Letting me drink and have it be okay made the temptation less. I did get way too drunk at times, but I still never took a second thought at calling my parents. Even called them at times after I turned 21 and had them pick me up. Every new Years they go out and drive me to wherever I want to go... so they know Im okay.
I believe alcohol and teens go hand in hand with their parents. If the parents teach them that alcohol is okay in moderation, and know how to be safe... teens arent going to go nuts every weekend when a friends parents are out of town. I could drink at home, so I didnt need to go out and get wasted behind their backs.
SILVER Member
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
Posted:
My parents took a similar approach to meeko (well, my dad did anyways) I've been allowed a bottle of beer/cider/alcopop now and then at home from when I was about 13 years old. I remember my dad giving me my first ever bottle of cider and telling me he wanted me to start getting used to alcohol now when I was home and somewhere safe so that by the time I hit 18 alcohol wouldn't be a big deal. It seemed to work, because now I hardly ever drink at all and I've almost always stopped within my limits rather than taking the 'let's see how wasted i can get before i pass out' mentality that many of my teenage friends shared.
But admittedly I did at times go a bit over the top when I was around 15 and I have ended up in some not so nice situations I could have done without, that I probably would not have ended up in if I'd been sober.
One thing that worries me is the number of times I've seen young girls/women (including friends and myself in the past) too drunk to say no when guys start pestering them... the number of girls who must end up feeling really sht the next morning when they realise they gave it away on a plate to someone they didn't particularly know or like just because they were too p*ssed to take control of the situation the night before. Some of said girls then go on to make out like it was all a big laugh and another fun episode of their night out on the p*ss. In retrospect I feel there's something wrong with this...
(sorry, that turned into a slight rant! Don't mean to come across as judging anyone by the way, so please don't take offence if you enjoy getting totally wasted and having sex with random people... each to their own at the end of the day!).
My parents took a similar approach to meeko (well, my dad did anyways) I've been allowed a bottle of beer/cider/alcopop now and then at home from when I was about 13 years old. I remember my dad giving me my first ever bottle of cider and telling me he wanted me to start getting used to alcohol now when I was home and somewhere safe so that by the time I hit 18 alcohol wouldn't be a big deal. It seemed to work, because now I hardly ever drink at all and I've almost always stopped within my limits rather than taking the 'let's see how wasted i can get before i pass out' mentality that many of my teenage friends shared.
But admittedly I did at times go a bit over the top when I was around 15 and I have ended up in some not so nice situations I could have done without, that I probably would not have ended up in if I'd been sober.
One thing that worries me is the number of times I've seen young girls/women (including friends and myself in the past) too drunk to say no when guys start pestering them... the number of girls who must end up feeling really sh
t the next morning when they realise they gave it away on a plate to someone they didn't particularly know or like just because they were too p*ssed to take control of the situation the night before. Some of said girls then go on to make out like it was all a big laugh and another fun episode of their night out on the p*ss. In retrospect I feel there's something wrong with this...(sorry, that turned into a slight rant! Don't mean to come across as judging anyone by the way, so please don't take offence if you enjoy getting totally wasted and having sex with random people... each to their own at the end of the day!).
Idolized by Aurinoko
Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....
Bob Dylan
BRONZE Member
Groovy ga watashi no namae desu!
1,530 posts
Location: Oxford, Oxfordshire, England
Groovy ga watashi no namae desu!
1,530 posts
Location: Oxford, Oxfordshire, England
Posted:
my parents are amazingly easy with what i can or cant do and i'm absolutely fine, as meeko i had sips of alcohol from a young age, but when i whent out drinking at 15 or 16 they always just took care of me when i got back, they still do now when i;m too drunk to move from the bathroom floor lol
i whent a bit off the rails a few times one month thanks to my good friend tequila, but that was personal problems and it helped me get through it (wouldnt recomend it to solve problems unless the problem is that you're sobre lol)
anywho i have made a concious choice not to drink recently as it just doesnt agree with me, and i dont actually enjoy it much at all anymore
apart from the other night lol
my parents are amazingly easy with what i can or cant do and i'm absolutely fine, as meeko i had sips of alcohol from a young age, but when i whent out drinking at 15 or 16 they always just took care of me when i got back, they still do now when i;m too drunk to move from the bathroom floor lol
i whent a bit off the rails a few times one month thanks to my good friend tequila, but that was personal problems and it helped me get through it (wouldnt recomend it to solve problems unless the problem is that you're sobre lol)
anywho i have made a concious choice not to drink recently as it just doesnt agree with me, and i dont actually enjoy it much at all anymore
apart from the other night lol
I like Languages.
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SILVER Member
Member
77 posts
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia
Member
77 posts
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia
Posted:
Before the age of 16, i was never allowed to drink. it came as a massive surprise when one day my dad asked if i wanted to have a couple of beers with him. Now I don't drink very often, but when i do I like to get to the stage where I'm more social than I would normally be. Any further than that and I enter a world full of pain. saying things i shouldn't starting fights, etc. etc. I don't know much of the medical side of it (I read Doc's post earlier and seeing as he's a doctor I'll leave that to him
) but my understanding is that Binge drinking in young people (or anyone for that matter) can have a detramental effect on your health. As for what you did Beth, It's exactly what anyone *should* have done. It's nice to know that there's people like you out there
dunno if that made sense... i get sidetracked very easily and I have alot of thengs that i want to say... hope it didn't just blur into an incoherant blob
Before the age of 16, i was never allowed to drink. it came as a massive surprise when one day my dad asked if i wanted to have a couple of beers with him. Now I don't drink very often, but when i do I like to get to the stage where I'm more social than I would normally be. Any further than that and I enter a world full of pain. saying things i shouldn't starting fights, etc. etc. I don't know much of the medical side of it (I read Doc's post earlier and seeing as he's a doctor I'll leave that to him
) but my understanding is that Binge drinking in young people (or anyone for that matter) can have a detramental effect on your health. As for what you did Beth, It's exactly what anyone *should* have done. It's nice to know that there's people like you out there dunno if that made sense... i get sidetracked very easily and I have alot of thengs that i want to say... hope it didn't just blur into an incoherant blob
GOLD Member
sunset seadragon
679 posts
Location: some little fluffy clouds, Belgium
sunset seadragon
679 posts
Location: some little fluffy clouds, Belgium
Posted:
I never drank a teen, how do they taste?
I never drank a teen, how do they taste?
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde
Jointly owned by FreyaJ, Birgit and Aurinko
BRONZE Member
moo..
1,899 posts
Location: melbourne, australia
moo..
1,899 posts
Location: melbourne, australia
Posted:
my guess is bitter!
my guess is bitter!
hug me!
BRONZE Member
member
87 posts
Location: New South Wales
member
87 posts
Location: New South Wales
Posted:
Rogue, i do think you did the right thing, at the party. And as for your friend on MSN i do agree with them too. Some things just have to fall down to personal responsibilty and that is how humans learn. And forcing moral values onto another in my mind is not right.
And as for teenage drinking. Yes i am one of those people. however never more than 10. I can still act sober at 10 when i want to.
Rogue, i do think you did the right thing, at the party. And as for your friend on MSN i do agree with them too. Some things just have to fall down to personal responsibilty and that is how humans learn. And forcing moral values onto another in my mind is not right.
And as for teenage drinking. Yes i am one of those people. however never more than 10. I can still act sober at 10 when i want to.
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ten drinks?!
Ten drinks?!
SILVER Member
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
3,764 posts
Location: limbo, Australia
Posted:
2 and I'm anyone's for anything...
2 and I'm anyone's for anything...
--pogo (pat) [forever and always]
GOLD Member
Dangerous cynic
166 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Dangerous cynic
166 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
It's interesting to hear how teenagers percieve drinking.
I was having a chat with some of my 6th formers (17-18) and it came up that they assumed I would be spending my weekend drinking! Why? Well I am in my mid twenties and apparently fairly "cool" on the teacher scale so obviously that's what a young adult does with their life.
Now the truth is, I am virtually teetotal. In a pub I am far more likely to be drinking a cup of tea than an alcoholic drink. I used to regularly go into a pub where a friend worked on a friday night to have a cup of tea (then we would hit the town after closing) Often I would be in my bike leathers and there was immense surprise that a *biker* should be sitting in the pub drinking tea! I say I value my bike too much to so much as look at it drunk.
These students just didn't get this at all, it was like "...ERROR... will not compute...". Why on earth would someone who can drink, choose not to?
I told them this:
When I was younger I drank, mostly in moderation, sometimes to excess, I did this because everyone else did, there was no pressure, but it was the done thing. I had a bit of a laugh, but mostly I spent the time feeling unpleasant and facing a hangover the next morning. I had a partner with a drinking problem and to help him dry up, I stopped drinking completely for a few months. During this time it occurred to me:
Being drunk feels unpleasant, it's actually, deep down, a little scary to not be in control of your body, even to a slight extent.
Drunk people are not more sociable, attractive, funny etc, they just think they are, which makes them really unpleasant to be around.
Alcoholic drinks don't often taste nice, certainly not in large amounts, generally I'd prefer a juice or a coffee.
Alcoholic drinks are stupidly expensive.
In summary, why pay a lot of money, to drink something that you don't really like, in order to act like a prat, lose control of yourself and feel ill the next morning?
If it were advertised like that, noone would bother. But somehow there is a culture of accepting drinking as normal, and choosing not to as odd. What is that all about?
It's interesting to hear how teenagers percieve drinking.
I was having a chat with some of my 6th formers (17-18) and it came up that they assumed I would be spending my weekend drinking! Why? Well I am in my mid twenties and apparently fairly "cool" on the teacher scale so obviously that's what a young adult does with their life.
Now the truth is, I am virtually teetotal. In a pub I am far more likely to be drinking a cup of tea than an alcoholic drink. I used to regularly go into a pub where a friend worked on a friday night to have a cup of tea (then we would hit the town after closing) Often I would be in my bike leathers and there was immense surprise that a *biker* should be sitting in the pub drinking tea! I say I value my bike too much to so much as look at it drunk.
These students just didn't get this at all, it was like "...ERROR... will not compute...". Why on earth would someone who can drink, choose not to?
I told them this:
When I was younger I drank, mostly in moderation, sometimes to excess, I did this because everyone else did, there was no pressure, but it was the done thing. I had a bit of a laugh, but mostly I spent the time feeling unpleasant and facing a hangover the next morning. I had a partner with a drinking problem and to help him dry up, I stopped drinking completely for a few months. During this time it occurred to me:
Being drunk feels unpleasant, it's actually, deep down, a little scary to not be in control of your body, even to a slight extent.
Drunk people are not more sociable, attractive, funny etc, they just think they are, which makes them really unpleasant to be around.
Alcoholic drinks don't often taste nice, certainly not in large amounts, generally I'd prefer a juice or a coffee.
Alcoholic drinks are stupidly expensive.
In summary, why pay a lot of money, to drink something that you don't really like, in order to act like a prat, lose control of yourself and feel ill the next morning?
If it were advertised like that, noone would bother. But somehow there is a culture of accepting drinking as normal, and choosing not to as odd. What is that all about?
SILVER Member
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
enthusiast
271 posts
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*, United Kingdom
Posted:
My thoughts exactly just a lot more eloquently put...
especially agree with
I see an awful lot of this in the pub where i work!
My thoughts exactly just a lot more eloquently put...
especially agree with
Written by:
Drunk people are not more sociable, attractive, funny etc, they just think they are, which makes them really unpleasant to be around.
I see an awful lot of this in the pub where i work!
BRONZE Member
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Posted:
lol i'm not sure either. i certainly don't get it. i have never drank loads anyway, espcialy when i go out.
if you get drunk you can not dance properly so why drink?
may be you should come up with an advert i think you hit it straight on the head.
lol i'm not sure either. i certainly don't get it. i have never drank loads anyway, espcialy when i go out.
if you get drunk you can not dance properly so why drink?
may be you should come up with an advert i think you hit it straight on the head.
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
SILVER Member
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
Posted:
Crazy, isn't it?
I hardly ever drink any more because of all the reasons you said, Kash. It really doesn't feel pleasant to me, my body reacts badly to most alcoholic drinks so I end up feeling sick and hungover before I even get any kind of 'buzz' out of it.
Went out for lunch with people I work with the other day, they were ordering jugs of pimms and one guy said he didn't need any because he'd stopped drinking. Everyone else was really surprised and asked him 'Why?!?!', he told them he just didn't enjoy it any more and they were all really shocked, they started saying how they couldn't imagine life without drinking.
This struck me as a bit strange, everyone in my office had basically admitted to having a dependency on alcohol, yet none of them would think of themselves as an 'alcoholic' or 'person with a drink problem'.
The other thing that annoys me...
I smoke a little weed from time to time
. If I had turned round at lunch and said I'd given this up I probably would have got a round of applause from everyone.
Another friend of mine works in an office where he is sneered at for smoking pot, yet all his colleagues get hammered on coke every night because apparently that is the normal, accepted thing to do.
Now I'm not trying to say whether or not drugs are ok, but I think it's unfair that alcohol is so often not regarded as a 'drug' when other substances are. I hate feeling like I get stigmatized because my bad habits and lifestyle choices are perceived as worse than everyone elses!
Written by: kash
If it were advertised like that, noone would bother. But somehow there is a culture of accepting drinking as normal, and choosing not to as odd. What is that all about?
Crazy, isn't it?
I hardly ever drink any more because of all the reasons you said, Kash. It really doesn't feel pleasant to me, my body reacts badly to most alcoholic drinks so I end up feeling sick and hungover before I even get any kind of 'buzz' out of it.
Went out for lunch with people I work with the other day, they were ordering jugs of pimms and one guy said he didn't need any because he'd stopped drinking. Everyone else was really surprised and asked him 'Why?!?!', he told them he just didn't enjoy it any more and they were all really shocked, they started saying how they couldn't imagine life without drinking.
This struck me as a bit strange, everyone in my office had basically admitted to having a dependency on alcohol, yet none of them would think of themselves as an 'alcoholic' or 'person with a drink problem'.
The other thing that annoys me...
I smoke a little weed from time to time
. If I had turned round at lunch and said I'd given this up I probably would have got a round of applause from everyone. Another friend of mine works in an office where he is sneered at for smoking pot, yet all his colleagues get hammered on coke every night because apparently that is the normal, accepted thing to do.
Now I'm not trying to say whether or not drugs are ok, but I think it's unfair that alcohol is so often not regarded as a 'drug' when other substances are. I hate feeling like I get stigmatized because my bad habits and lifestyle choices are perceived as worse than everyone elses!
Idolized by Aurinoko
Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....
Bob Dylan
BRONZE Member
Look! I'm Darth Bunny!
446 posts
Location: Sunny South Africa
Look! I'm Darth Bunny!
446 posts
Location: Sunny South Africa
Posted:
Well done rouge, if more people were like you a think a lot of people would be saved a lot of pain in life.
As for me, i agree with kash on this one. I can understand the whole social concept of it but why go purposefully overboard? Another thing that bothers me is when people go out with the goal of getting drunk. Ive heard my friends say from time to time "Im gonna get drunk tonight!" and if I ask them why they want to do that they cant really give me a straight answer, I suppose it ties in with they whole "i think getting drunk is a normal part of life" thing.
And yes, i drink, though usually just one or two with my friends
Well done rouge, if more people were like you a think a lot of people would be saved a lot of pain in life.
As for me, i agree with kash on this one. I can understand the whole social concept of it but why go purposefully overboard? Another thing that bothers me is when people go out with the goal of getting drunk. Ive heard my friends say from time to time "Im gonna get drunk tonight!" and if I ask them why they want to do that they cant really give me a straight answer, I suppose it ties in with they whole "i think getting drunk is a normal part of life" thing.
And yes, i drink, though usually just one or two with my friends
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo ho fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
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