Forums > Social Chat > what is a friend to you?

Posted: 14th May 2003
The True Friends I have dubbed my "inner circle" are few, but definitely good ones

My main criteria I think evolved from my past - I used to be quite overweight and nobody would respect me back then except for two people I still am friends with today. That sorta clarified to me what a true friend is - someone who sticks with you through thick and thin, offers encouragement when you're not doing so well, and is honest with you. Kinda sad how all the "friends" I made afterward were the same people who never talked to me before I lost weight... leaves one quite jaded.

But, since I've moved on and left high school for college, I've had to make new friends who unfortunately can't take the test of time the way my inner circle did. So, I have had to come up with some new criteria, namely the concept of "superglue friends."

A Superglue Friend is a friend who will be supportive and stick with me even if I were to do something as stupid as supergluing my hand to my... well, watch American Pie 2 and you'll get the picture. That circle of True Friends saw Jim go through many trials in life, but they were always there (with the exception of Stifler) when he needed to be picked back up.

But again, sometimes you're friends with someone you've never had to go through any tough times with. I guess what it boils down to is respect and honesty then... I'm an open book to anyone who's straight-up with me, I like being able to get personal with people because it lets me know they feel safe enough to open up to me.

What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.

Posted: 14th May 2003
In highschool my "crew" was quite large. We were kind of like the people who never fit into any of the cliques around, but I guess we kind of formed our own. As we grew up and started leaving for college and such though we kind of fragmented into smaller groups, some to southern Ohio, some to Kent, some to OSU, etc. Some of our group we only hear about in passing now, like some of the less mature "I wanna stay 12 forever" kids that we don't talk to much anymore.

So from a group of about twenty close friends, we've grown to be more like groups of three or four close friends who we see every day. These are the people, for me at least, who I can share my feelings about anything with and not have to worry about what they think of me, because even though we have our differences (Im liberal, one of them is super-conservative, etc.) we are always there for each other. Still other friends who I don't see as much, are even closer to me now that I think about it, as they enjoy life much the same way I do... like that old saying "A friend is someone you can sit silently with for an hour and walk away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever". The people who I could call on no matter what, no matter how far away, for anything I needed.

But then I'm one of those weird kids who loves everyone but is too shy and anxious to make many new friends, so I guess friendship comes down to trust for me. Maybe thats why I like these messageboards so much, no one really knows who I am so I feel I can speak my mind much more freely here... Awwwwww how cute of me. Ain't the internet grand?

Posted: 14th May 2003
Sorry for my english!

A friend, it's a person who say "awake" when you go on the bad path.
It's a person who call when you are sick or who send a message by mobilephone for just say "Hi!How are you?"
In fact frenship is a sum of littles things who render the life more pleasant.

paule

la tite fan de k's choiceI close my eyes and I try to see a piece of paradise in me....

Posted: 14th May 2003
To me a friend is someone who is always there when you need a talk, a hug , advice or support. To me i dont think it matters wether they are there with you or not. I have friends who i only see once a year, but when we catch up. nothings changed. I have made a really good friend on the internet, and even though we've never met he's a great friend to me! He knows who he is
much luv n hugs.

Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and the last fish has been caught
will we realise that we
cannot eat money.

Cree Indian, 1909

Posted: 14th May 2003
When I was in year 12 one of the girls in my group passed away from cancer - she was a beautiful wonderful person who we all adored.


The thing I will always hold close to me about her is that she always ended telephone conversations and emails with the sentence 'Thankyou for being you'.... To me, this has become my life motto for friendships.

A true friend to me is someone that I can say 'thanks for just being you' to - a friend who, because of their wonderful personality, accepts me for 100% who I am and supports me whenever I need a friend....
My friends and I have now started using the 'thanks for being you' with all our friends at college, work, uni etc and have been absolutely fanscinated to see it spread.

So, today I leave all you wonderful people at HOP
with my special greeting for you to use on people who have made an impression on your life....

Thankyou for being you!

Rach

We all take different paths in life, but no matter which path we take, we take a little of each other everywhere...

Posted: 14th May 2003
ok... lets see...
MY true friends are the ones who love me no matter what. They support me and love me unconditionally.
I have two of those type of people... and over 4000 on this board...

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

Posted: 15th May 2003
Of course I agree with most of your definitions and might want to add this one ...

a friend is someone who is capable of genuinely sharing my happiness without anger or envy even when they are not at their best...

sometimes it is easier to support someone who is 'lower' than you, it is comforting but to be happy for someone without wanting to shut their light down ... that is another story...

shine on
Cassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 15th May 2003
Cass that is so true

Bam

A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.

Posted: 15th May 2003
Eeeeep
Friends. That lovely little feeling...can't put it into words.
shine on
Drew

Posted: 15th May 2003
for me -my best friend is amazing.. known her since I was 16..

She has taken so much crap from me and endured a 2.5 year fude (sp- aka HUGE arguement) where we did not even set foot in the same room.. we have gone from one extream of emotion to the other.. she puts up with my mood swings (I'm a Cancerian - moody cow) and lifts me when I'm down, grounds me when I'm high - I can say anything to her - she'll either agree or slap me round the face to sort me out (not literally).. she gives me just the same amount of crap back - my shoulder has been used for her tears many a time.. I've sorted out her and her boyfriend many a time.. I've even borrowed her bloke for evening outs when I've not had a date.. we give each other strenght and know how to sort out our personal wobbles.. we don't even have to talk to each other when things are getting stressed - we can just tell the other is about to pop.. and we know how to talk each other down..

I love her..she bugs me and gets under my skin... but I can't live with out her.. and she has the same feelings for me.. my best mate, Liane..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 15th May 2003
King of Bongo, this is a great thread. Most thought provoking.

I have known my best friend since before I was born. I am my own best friend, never my own worst enemy. I believe if you do not love yourself then no one else will love you.

Myself excluded, I only have 5 real true friends who fit into the parameters outlined in the original post.

I also have my daughter, my parents and my sister.

I have the love and support of a fabulous internet fire community.

And I have three devoted dogs.

I consider myself very lucky

Are we nearly there yet?