Forums > Social Chat > Sexuality and the Medical Profession (mature, but not explicit content)
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HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Ok, I know that there's some paranoia about using the word "s+e=x" because of the porn blockers on search sites and what-not, but in this case, I want to talk about it in regards to the medical field.
We had a lecture today on human sexuality. It was easily the best lecture we've had all year. They even passed around an anal plug (I think I was the only person to take it out of its bag, because other people handled the bag like it was a dead fish...I mean, she wasn't going to pass around a USED anal plug, right?).
But it got me to thinking. When I was a teenager, my doctor (who was really good) asked me every year whether I had been sexually active, and when I started to answer yes, he asked about contraceptive use, etc.
But my doctor now has never asked me about my sexuality, my satisfaction with my sex life, or my sexual function. I think he assumes that because I'm a medical student that I'll just volunteer that information. That might be true for me personally, but medical students in general are among the most repressed people in the world! And, you know, at age 25, someone really ought to be asking me about these things when I go for a check-up.
So here's my question: does your doctor or health care provider ever ask you about sex, sexuality, sexual health, and sexual function? And if not, do you wish that he or she would?
[ 13. April 2003, 06:50: Message edited by: Lightning... ]
Ok, I know that there's some paranoia about using the word "s+e=x" because of the porn blockers on search sites and what-not, but in this case, I want to talk about it in regards to the medical field.
We had a lecture today on human sexuality. It was easily the best lecture we've had all year. They even passed around an anal plug (I think I was the only person to take it out of its bag, because other people handled the bag like it was a dead fish...I mean, she wasn't going to pass around a USED anal plug, right?).
But it got me to thinking. When I was a teenager, my doctor (who was really good) asked me every year whether I had been sexually active, and when I started to answer yes, he asked about contraceptive use, etc.
But my doctor now has never asked me about my sexuality, my satisfaction with my sex life, or my sexual function. I think he assumes that because I'm a medical student that I'll just volunteer that information. That might be true for me personally, but medical students in general are among the most repressed people in the world! And, you know, at age 25, someone really ought to be asking me about these things when I go for a check-up.
So here's my question: does your doctor or health care provider ever ask you about sex, sexuality, sexual health, and sexual function? And if not, do you wish that he or she would?
[ 13. April 2003, 06:50: Message edited by: Lightning... ]
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
Firstly i always ask for female doctors, i dont know why i just feel easier talking to one things.
Also my doctor never asks me about anything to do with sex except when i asked to go on the pill (for my period pains) but i soon came off.
Alice
Firstly i always ask for female doctors, i dont know why i just feel easier talking to one things.
Also my doctor never asks me about anything to do with sex except when i asked to go on the pill (for my period pains) but i soon came off.
Alice
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
GOLD Member
member
80 posts
Location: Massachusetts, US, USA
member
80 posts
Location: Massachusetts, US, USA
Posted:
yes, i think they definately should be asking. unfortunately many people may take it as an invasion of privacy, or an easy segue into the whole breach of having a professioanl doctor patient relationship thing.
lack of or a marked decrease in sexual function can be a symptom of more serious things. it can be a good indicator of mental state.
personally i've had a doctor who completely ignored the things she should have been noticing. i had a lot of problems with depression and other equally fun things and she never talked to me about my sexual health, even when i had to offer up information for other reasons that she should have taken seriously she just ignored it.
i have a lot of criticisms of the system here in the US.
i think that doctors focus too much on problems that are only physically apparent. ideally the system should be more of a total health kinda thing. and they focus too much on fixing problems that arise rather than preventative measures. at least in my experience.
yes, i think they definately should be asking. unfortunately many people may take it as an invasion of privacy, or an easy segue into the whole breach of having a professioanl doctor patient relationship thing.
lack of or a marked decrease in sexual function can be a symptom of more serious things. it can be a good indicator of mental state.
personally i've had a doctor who completely ignored the things she should have been noticing. i had a lot of problems with depression and other equally fun things and she never talked to me about my sexual health, even when i had to offer up information for other reasons that she should have taken seriously she just ignored it.
i have a lot of criticisms of the system here in the US.
i think that doctors focus too much on problems that are only physically apparent. ideally the system should be more of a total health kinda thing. and they focus too much on fixing problems that arise rather than preventative measures. at least in my experience.
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Pink Poi, I have female doctors too (unless I am "playing" dr. ). For me it is also more comforting.
Mike, sure they ask if I am active. If I use protection. If I get tested often. I think these are great questions. Hell, I ask my friends these questions because I love them. But in the realm of satisfaction, is that really a general MD's place? If there were something wrong, then I would go to the md and say, refer me to someone who can help cause "this" is wrong. From there it can go many places, Urologist, Sex Therapist, and Addicts Group...whatever. But it is not something that I want to get into everytime I go.
However, there is still very much a taboo and stigma surrounding the whole concept of bringing up sex outside the home, and embarrassment if something is wrong, and people do not bring it up. I think this moral is turning around for the better but in the end I agree it is oppressive. Yet, many of these people wouldn't say if there was a problem even if confronted due to pride and believing it something not to be approached.
It is a mentality that needs to be changed somehow socially, before a comfortable practice can really be implemented I feel. I agree with Leliel about the total person healthcare, but there needs to be a comfort with the subject matter before that can be achieved.
Thanks for the thought provoking question.
Pink Poi, I have female doctors too (unless I am "playing" dr. ). For me it is also more comforting.
Mike, sure they ask if I am active. If I use protection. If I get tested often. I think these are great questions. Hell, I ask my friends these questions because I love them. But in the realm of satisfaction, is that really a general MD's place? If there were something wrong, then I would go to the md and say, refer me to someone who can help cause "this" is wrong. From there it can go many places, Urologist, Sex Therapist, and Addicts Group...whatever. But it is not something that I want to get into everytime I go.
However, there is still very much a taboo and stigma surrounding the whole concept of bringing up sex outside the home, and embarrassment if something is wrong, and people do not bring it up. I think this moral is turning around for the better but in the end I agree it is oppressive. Yet, many of these people wouldn't say if there was a problem even if confronted due to pride and believing it something not to be approached.
It is a mentality that needs to be changed somehow socially, before a comfortable practice can really be implemented I feel. I agree with Leliel about the total person healthcare, but there needs to be a comfort with the subject matter before that can be achieved.
Thanks for the thought provoking question.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
member
36 posts
36 posts
Posted:
What do you think about a doctor asking if you want him to give you a breast examination if you have gone to see him for something totally unrelated? I know it sounds funny, but this is what happened to me and I left and never went back to him!!! I found it a little strange ( I am only 25 and this was several years ago)Other people I know think he is a great doctor but since I did not go to him about anything to do with this I thought it was weird!!
What do you think about a doctor asking if you want him to give you a breast examination if you have gone to see him for something totally unrelated? I know it sounds funny, but this is what happened to me and I left and never went back to him!!! I found it a little strange ( I am only 25 and this was several years ago)Other people I know think he is a great doctor but since I did not go to him about anything to do with this I thought it was weird!!
member
44 posts
Location: Minnesota, USA | Currently In: Japan
44 posts
Location: Minnesota, USA | Currently In: Japan
Posted:
Back when I was a civilian my Docter always asked those types of questions (he was listed in a local magazine as one of the "Top Docs" in the state for as long as I can remember ) , but once I was 18 I joined the Marines and now I don't even see a docter unless I have a specific complaint . I mean, we got shots and everything but we don't have regular checkups.
Back when I was a civilian my Docter always asked those types of questions (he was listed in a local magazine as one of the "Top Docs" in the state for as long as I can remember ) , but once I was 18 I joined the Marines and now I don't even see a docter unless I have a specific complaint . I mean, we got shots and everything but we don't have regular checkups.
-Eric
A wise monkey never monkeys around with another monkey's monkey...
ambiguous
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
Posted:
My doctor did too, the one I went to until I was 18. I havn't gotten around to getting a new doctor, kind of waiting to see how much longer I stay in state.
Alright, since the topic of anal plugs has already been thrown into the mix, and since we're talking about sexual health, let me add a normally ackward question:
What is a dental dam?
I ask because recently I went to a group meeting at the queer student cultural center here on campus and this topic came up and everybody was like "Oh yeah, it's amazing how many people have no idea what one is" and "Even I didn't know until a few years ago". And I was just sitting there, like, yeah, alright. After seeing it I got a partial idea but still, I don't know the full potential of the dental dam. Plus if I don't know other may not as well and it's good to publicize various forms of contriceptive.
is this ok? should I not ask this?
My doctor did too, the one I went to until I was 18. I havn't gotten around to getting a new doctor, kind of waiting to see how much longer I stay in state.
Alright, since the topic of anal plugs has already been thrown into the mix, and since we're talking about sexual health, let me add a normally ackward question:
What is a dental dam?
I ask because recently I went to a group meeting at the queer student cultural center here on campus and this topic came up and everybody was like "Oh yeah, it's amazing how many people have no idea what one is" and "Even I didn't know until a few years ago". And I was just sitting there, like, yeah, alright. After seeing it I got a partial idea but still, I don't know the full potential of the dental dam. Plus if I don't know other may not as well and it's good to publicize various forms of contriceptive.
is this ok? should I not ask this?
_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Since this is informative and positive, I have no idea if it is inappropriate...so I will send you an explanaition through PM, cause I know that can be graphic!
But I am thinking Mike should have put a warnig for adult content in the title. I don't know.
Since this is informative and positive, I have no idea if it is inappropriate...so I will send you an explanaition through PM, cause I know that can be graphic!
But I am thinking Mike should have put a warnig for adult content in the title. I don't know.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
ambiguous
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
Posted:
Yeah, on the one hand it's all valuable information and good to know for the sake of sexual health, but at the same time it creates a like puritan response, which is totally valid and understandable.
Yeah, on the one hand it's all valuable information and good to know for the sake of sexual health, but at the same time it creates a like puritan response, which is totally valid and understandable.
_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................
SILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Just out of curiousity, do you think doctors are more likely to ask teenagers whether they are sexually active, than ask an adult about their sex life?
I mean, you kinda expect an adult to raise the issue themselves if they need to. but with a teenager it is almost like something on "the checklist" to talk about.
Just out of curiousity, do you think doctors are more likely to ask teenagers whether they are sexually active, than ask an adult about their sex life?
I mean, you kinda expect an adult to raise the issue themselves if they need to. but with a teenager it is almost like something on "the checklist" to talk about.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Ok, here is a link to a site with information about dental dams. If you would like more information, I recommend a Google search.
Here's the link:
https://www.sexhealth.org/safersex/dentaldam.shtml
I'm going to add a bit of advice here that I haven't seen on any of these sites. Mods, if you want to edit this post , go ahead and do so. I won't take it personally.
So one way of making a dental dam is to take a latex glove and to cut across the glove just below the base of the fingers. Then, slit the glove up the side opposite the thumb and open it. You will have an approximately rectangular piece of latex with a "thumb" sticking out the middle. I think you can figure out why having the "thumb" there might be an added benefit.
Another thing: latex is the best barrier to use in general because it combines a non-porous barrier with a comfortable material. If you are allergic to latex, fear not! Polyurethane is just as safe, although, in my personal opinion, not quite as comfortable.
Remember, never use petroleum based lubricants (like petroleum jelly or baby oil) on latex or polyurethane! Doing so can cause the material to dissolve! In the U.S.A., I recommend Astroglide lubricant. It's amazingly slippery, has very little flavor (it's very faintly sweet), and a little bit goes a LONG way. Leaves a bit of a residue, which goes away easily with soap and water.
Ok, here is a link to a site with information about dental dams. If you would like more information, I recommend a Google search.
Here's the link:
https://www.sexhealth.org/safersex/dentaldam.shtml
I'm going to add a bit of advice here that I haven't seen on any of these sites. Mods, if you want to edit this post , go ahead and do so. I won't take it personally.
So one way of making a dental dam is to take a latex glove and to cut across the glove just below the base of the fingers. Then, slit the glove up the side opposite the thumb and open it. You will have an approximately rectangular piece of latex with a "thumb" sticking out the middle. I think you can figure out why having the "thumb" there might be an added benefit.
Another thing: latex is the best barrier to use in general because it combines a non-porous barrier with a comfortable material. If you are allergic to latex, fear not! Polyurethane is just as safe, although, in my personal opinion, not quite as comfortable.
Remember, never use petroleum based lubricants (like petroleum jelly or baby oil) on latex or polyurethane! Doing so can cause the material to dissolve! In the U.S.A., I recommend Astroglide lubricant. It's amazingly slippery, has very little flavor (it's very faintly sweet), and a little bit goes a LONG way. Leaves a bit of a residue, which goes away easily with soap and water.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
However, in a teenager, sexual activity is a health concern because of the risks it confers. In adults, sex is still risky, but adults tend to have fewer partners and are better prepared to deal with consequences (like pregnancy). And, of course, monogamous and/or married adults are (theoretically) not engaging in any sort of risky behavior when they are having sex.
I think that society in general views sex as a luxury. Insurance companies have been reluctant to cover Viagra because it is percieved as "not essential." I view it as an "activity of daily living." Loss of sexual function can be devastating to a marriage to example. People say "but marriage isn't about sex!" but boy howdy do they get worked up when people have sex out of wedlock! Guess it's partially about sex, after all.
Yes, it is true that sexual function is not required for life, but then again, neither are eyes.
quote:Rozi, one of the reasons I feel that doctors are more comfortable talking to teenagers about it is because a doctor is percieved to be in a position of authority over the teenager and thus, it's his business to ask. Of course, the reality is that a good doctor is NOT in a position of authority over any patient, regardless of age.
Originally posted by Rozi:
Just out of curiousity, do you think doctors are more likely to ask teenagers whether they are sexually active, than ask an adult about their sex life?
I mean, you kinda expect an adult to raise the issue themselves if they need to. but with a teenager it is almost like something on "the checklist" to talk about.
However, in a teenager, sexual activity is a health concern because of the risks it confers. In adults, sex is still risky, but adults tend to have fewer partners and are better prepared to deal with consequences (like pregnancy). And, of course, monogamous and/or married adults are (theoretically) not engaging in any sort of risky behavior when they are having sex.
I think that society in general views sex as a luxury. Insurance companies have been reluctant to cover Viagra because it is percieved as "not essential." I view it as an "activity of daily living." Loss of sexual function can be devastating to a marriage to example. People say "but marriage isn't about sex!" but boy howdy do they get worked up when people have sex out of wedlock! Guess it's partially about sex, after all.
Yes, it is true that sexual function is not required for life, but then again, neither are eyes.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
nope, it must only be people with dodgy looking dreadlocks and rainbow colored bracelets that they offer info on STDs too
if i'd known that you med students get to play with lubricants and latex gloves i'd never have taken an engineering degree!
nope, it must only be people with dodgy looking dreadlocks and rainbow colored bracelets that they offer info on STDs too
if i'd known that you med students get to play with lubricants and latex gloves i'd never have taken an engineering degree!
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