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Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
OK, I am sorry to blight your otherwise relaxed browse through the forums, but I find myself in a genuine time of need and I know you, the HOP community, are a mightily knowledgable and diverse bunch from which I may find a route I have not considered so far.



My predicament is this:



I graduated last summer in philosophy and then flunked about at home for what felt like an eternity. I finally got it into my head I wanted to go to London, get a job, get my career rolling.



I did. I started a job with an estate agents (a large successful and well known one I would prefer not to be mentioned by name in this thread should anyone know who I mean) and have since started earning money, driving a company car and sadly, hating every single day. The hours are very demanding (upwards of 60 per week and every other week is a 7 dayer)and I do not find the job rewarding in any way (I had a good history in retail and figured sales was the next logical step- HA!).



So here I am- no social life to speak of, committed to an expensive flat for at least the next four months (landlords good will possibly making this less problematic) and with no capital to speak of. Also, as I chose to live in an expensive but 1 bed flat for my house the money I make is almost totally eaten by bills, rendering the job pretty useless even for building funds.



I also have the added complication that I'm now missing my girlfriend more than ever. For those of you not familiar with my relationship, I'm happily in love with a lady who lives in Rhode Island, and I reside in London. And I miss her lots- we're talking about going travelling together to get a good chunk of time together, but the job I have means I might not see her til the late summer, which neither of us relishes the thought of (its only been a couple of days since I last saw her and I already want her back).



OK, there is my bleeding heart.



I need options, and I would really appreciate some serious suggestions in what I might do instead.



I love people, have a philosophy degree, am pretty good with poi (performance maybe not so much as teaching) and regard myself (naively perhaps) as a good person who ultimately gets his kicks altruistically. I do not have the money to study another degree or course, will not have a car once this job is boxed, and am not sure whther to return to the backward but beautiful countryside where the roads are paved with manure, or to venture forth once more into the city where the streets are paved with gold but the demand your soul.



I am in your hands my fellow hoppers, and I thankyou, sincerely, just for giving the time to read this.grouphug

EDITED_BY: Mr_Chutney (1187128133)

Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom


Posted:
I think your parents and mine should get together! Good luck Mister. Get Smiling biggrin

Gayle.....!


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
ditto what Gayle said, maybe it's a parental thing? But my folks also view success as Qualifications, Career, Money, etc. Happiness is most important. If I have no money but am happy, then to me I am rich smile

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Oh crap.

Just spoken to the temp agency I was looking to work through and they don't need anyone for the less experienced positions, don't take anyone on for the ;length of let I'm looking at AND I don't have the relvant experience for the longer jobs. [censored].

So, i'm holed up, paying rent, doing absolutely f'all. This isn't quite what i had in mind.

mechBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom


Posted:
chuck - what would be the punishment for breaking your contract with your letting agent, would yo uylose just your deposit, would that not be better than all the moeny you will spend on teh flat in teh long run?

maybe that is something to look at, as a last resourt, and then use that as a building block to find a better situation

have you gone through all the job websites looking at stuff you think you might like to do?

Step (el-nombrie)


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Job websites- yes, regualrly and often- i either don't have the experience, or they don't have the kind of jobs- i really don't want to be paper shuffling/ pen pushing. i really want to b active, involved with people. Not sure where that puts me career wise, but pub wise it could be good smile

Helz BellzSILVER Member
lovin' it...
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol!, United Kingdom


Posted:
Hey Chutney wave

I've come to the conclusion that all job websites are a bitch! rolleyes

I think parents generally worry about their kids whatever they're doing. It seems to be their job or something ubblol Don't let them stress you out!

Good luck mate, hope you find a solution to all this.

hug

Live well, love much, laugh often...

Official O.B.E.S.E. cheerleader


duballstarSILVER Member
slack rating - 9.5
2,216 posts
Location: Suburbiton, Yoo-Kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
coming from a similar situation i feel for you man, and admire your gung ho attitude to getting a grad job! hug

personally, despite the original desire to get out, i've resigned myself to living at home for free as an unemployed bum whilst trying to get into a job i'll enjoy but in actuality just spending my time spinning and juggling as often as possible... biggrin

as for jobs themselves you could try going to www.prospects.ac.uk (i think?!?) where they have questions about 'what you really want to do' and 'what is the career for me'. I found i needed to do a bit of thinking before i could motivate myself to even fill out an application. think about you strengths and waht you enjoy and look for jobs which seem to match.
It's also worth looking at job offers for gradutes on www.milkround.com and reading though them just to see what there is. don't be put off by all the shite sales jobs as you soon get used to sifting though them. once you start to develop an idea of what you want to do it gets easier.

it's all pretty dry but has to be done if you wanna get a job you'll enjoy. at least it passes the time until you float into whatever you're really gonna do.... wink

It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Update-

So, my flat is on the market and my LL is being really good about it all. That said i'm sitting on my arse doing very very little waiting for the flat to be let. I also got my final pay from my last job to discover it some 300 less than I was expecting!. This has left me so short that i may not be able to pay this months rent should the flat not get let in time!

I'm trying to negotiate that I move out now and then let the Landlord deduct each week the property is vacant from my deposit, otherwise I'll be so broke I won't be able to move out. F***!

PyroWillGOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom


Posted:
Hey Chutney.



Im not very good at giving advice, esepcially in my current situation, but one thing I will say is that this has also been a good thing.



You went out on your own, got a place to live, a new car and a stable(ish) job) sure it didnt work out, but all the same its beena learning experience. You've gone out and done all this pretty much on your own,



Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them. Sure things are bad and didnt work out, but you went out and tried, and thats the important thing.



My step dad recently gave my brother almost 3000 pounds to help him set up a gym in central london near tower bridge. To be frank my brother hasnt been the best with loaning money or following through with things he's done in the past so it was a bit of a gamble on my step dad's front, but he chose to do it because he wanted to show my brother that he had faith in him and that giving him this money meant that my brother could try to do this thing and hopefully work out. I asked my step dad "what if it doesnt work out, ben will owe you all this money and you'll be a lot of money out of pocket" and he replied (being the moral man that he is) "then Ben will have learnt from it, but at least he will know that hes gone out and tried his best to make it work"



Your situation made me think of that, you went out and tried for something, it didnt work, but don't forget...you tried smile



Good luck in whatever the future brings hug



P.S. The Willy Wagon sends its regards kiss

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
Written by: Will-yam

Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them.




ditto

Chutters, it could always be worse, you could have done two years of uni, quit and now have nothing to show for it other than £6000 of debt which they want back now... biggrin

GnorBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia


Posted:
Following on Mechs idea what about the American Youth camps in Maine? Short term idea but helps you make it to the US.

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Ideas idea smile Thankyou all-

Next post I will have moved- lot has happened, I'll fill you all in once I'm home.

grouphug

David smile

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
A little update (this is terribly self-absorbed, but after all the helpful ideas I figured I might just let you know whats happened so far smile

Well, I moved out and moved home, first to my mums home (which I have called home for years) but now permanently to live at my dads- hes away in the US probably 2-3 weeks a month which means I've been living alone, but my dad is back at the moment. Its weird, we haven't lived together for over 7 years since my parents split up- so far so good.

I managed to get out of the falt and miraculously get my deposit back, which is a huge result considering my LL could just have taken the lot and charged me lots more as well. That'll keep me above water for a month or two, and hopefully sort out some wheels (unlikely though it is- I miss my Chutney Mobile, or whatever Will renamed it smile).

So, I'm back at home and looking for work. And I don't miss that job 1 bit. biggrin

TheBovrilMonkeySILVER Member
Liquid Cow
2,629 posts
Location: High Wycombe, England


Posted:
Written by: Mr Chutney


I miss my Chutney Mobile, or whatever Will renamed it smile).





As far as I know, it's now named 'The Willy Wagon' smile

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
I should have known :rolleyes:

Matty_BSILVER Member
veteran
1,314 posts
Location: Blu's Pocket, United Kingdom


Posted:
Hey whats up mr chut... I will see you soon as we are now living in the same area I reckons... Guildhall next week sir ?

effexmember
32 posts

Posted:
experieince in life is never a thing to be shallowly doubted nor given value, it is what it is. From what I have scanned here, in order for me to try make an expressive opinion, I would be mostly personal in motive.
Most people spend everyday of thier lives unhappy at work. Even myself though that I do what I enjoy most, and will continue to do what i do no matter what, I am unhappy where I do it (employed) atm. There are many values to a single scale's measurment.

If you are considering all these changes to your life it would be wise to consider that you are a working business. What you do and who you do it for is only leased out. A person is but an entity, and a calculating one. As a business would operate you have to strive for your goals, figure your budget in striving those goals and pull no stops in getting there. You sound and seem like a hard working person and probably realise how to make sacrifices when needed. My personal opinion is that if you are trying to reach something then everything you do will affect how long it takes and how you arrive there.

My personal reccomendation for professional / carrer advice is that it is a modern and evolving market and one will be wise to invest in learning how things are changing and being on top off where and how they derived. PC knowledge and mostly anything to do with pcs - which is pretty much anything and everything now days, will be a viable though not romantic option for a good career.

There is a saying that ''if you find something you love doing you will never work another day in your life'' - its bs* If you do it on your terms yes. but thats a dream world. I have alot of property in dream land. The saying does have alot of wisdom in it, that you must first find something you really want to do. As these posts here have said, find something you really want, then go get it, and good luck.

smile and people will wonder what yr up to.


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Yeah, I've learned the hard way about the "on your own terms" bit. I'm now doing the most roundabout collection of things ever to try and get where I want to be... Things no one else would dream of doing. But I *hope* its working....

Bless, C, the best to you....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Hahahaha

You know that company I worked for, that I really didn't like and that caused me to melt down.

Well, it turns out that other people have had the same, if not worse experiences.

Expose

jemima (jem)SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom


Posted:
eek

I saw that programme, its disgusting what people get away with !

Never assume
Always Acknowledge


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Well, I have pretty much got back to somewhere decent life wise- still a bit short financially, but I have a job interview coming up, and things are generally looking up.

Plus I'm going to Fal5 biggrin

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
WINNER!



I got the job biggrin



As of May the second I will be working as a trainee IT support engineer in a company that operates out of a converted barn in the herefordshire company- inside the office has wood beams outside, and all you can hear is the whirr of PCs.



Outside, all you can hear is birds and sheep biggrin



Additional bonus is that with the job comes the promise of the car (not with the job, but as a condition of getting one from family) thus meaning I should be mobile and able to come and visit people biggrin



I think this is called 'turning the corner' biggrin
EDITED_BY: Mr Chutney (1145627918)

Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom


Posted:
Congratulations Chutney. Really glad to hear things are back on track.

Gayle.....!


PyroWillGOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom


Posted:
YES!!! Well done mate!!!

Hope it all goes really well for you, and glad to hear you've booked time off for play biggrin

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
I've been wanting to bump this for ages now, partially just to round it off, but mostly to show that things can come full circle and also to say thank you to everyone who read and posted in the thread.



When I last posted I had just got a job in a small IT company and was days away from making a new start having had a pretty rubbish 12 months.



A year and a few months later and life has changed again- I am now single, having broken up with my long term girlfriend in the US back in April. I have also just accepted a new job in a much bigger company doing in house IT support. It's a major step up the ladder and holds some really great opportunities.



I credit my turnaround and subsequent success to many things, but the support an encouragement I received throughout the last 18 months, since this thread was started, have been a real source of courage and comfort. I remember signing on in my designer flat in London, desperate for someone to have posted. Every post mattered and helped.



This is a truly exceptional community. I am lucky and grateful to be a part of it. Thank you. grouphug
EDITED_BY: Mr_Chutney (1187200218)

faith enfireBRONZE Member
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA


Posted:
cool i'm happt things are working out for you so well

(it gives me hope)

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
"my designer flat in London" biggrin wink

Blasphemous GirlSILVER Member
member
83 posts
Location: Gloucestershire, United Kingdom


Posted:
I’m really glad everything is working out for you Chutney and i’m probably rather selfishly glad you left London cos I prob never would have met you if you hadn’t returned to Herefordshire! smile

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."


MikefromGlosSILVER Member
Hitman
985 posts
Location: Gloucester England


Posted:
u got the job then well done....

he he i am mike the amazing gloscircus person who is mike.

Officaly an exception to the Poi Boys are Girls Thing


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
 Written by: UnderControlOrFailure


"my designer flat in London" biggrin wink



Yeah that sounds a bit poncey doesn't it- I meant by that that i realised that money is not the route of happiness- I'm sad I had to sell out so totally to learn, but it was a valuable lesson.

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