Forums > Introductions > Why is it so hard to meet new people?
Login/Join to ParticipateBRONZE Member
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
Posted:
Gah lol I’m almost tempted to try changing my name to shyguy (which would actually be a kinda cool nintendo reference but anyway slightly irrelevant embarrassed babbling aside now.
I made an intro thread a while ago and then never got around to replying to people that said hi to me in that, (that was only because I didn't realise people had posted in it and I figured it's to late to bump it now ) So hi and thanks to the people that spoke in that one.
I tried going to a Sunday meet a while ago, which was kinda cool although I found it a little hard going picking up conversation with people. But it was fun even though I really felt out of my depth. (Oh and IceAngel I was that guy you taught the 3 beat weave, I’ve mastered that now thanks!
) Haven't managed to get back to another Sunday one yet, been pretty busy and a touch scared off since I only have my poi and everyone had at least one or two other things to play with.
I also tried going to the Wednesday meet in edinborough gardens yesterday but ended up being too scared to approach what was the group. Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.
I ended up just trying to teach my boy friend how to do a basic weave since he was just tagging along to keep me company, Some guy rode up to us at one stage on a bike and talked to us briefly, (hi again if you come on here.)
Anyway, hopefully next time I’ll have more nerve to approach next time. But until then I thought I’d put forward a few questions.
How do you try to introduce yourself into a new group of people that already know each other?
Whats a good way to have conversations with people you don't know very well?
Any tips for meeting new people with the intent to keep in contact instead of ending on a feeling of "oh that was an interesting time, a nice random person... now what was I doing?"
Gah lol I’m almost tempted to try changing my name to shyguy (which would actually be a kinda cool nintendo reference but anyway slightly irrelevant embarrassed babbling aside now.
I made an intro thread a while ago and then never got around to replying to people that said hi to me in that, (that was only because I didn't realise people had posted in it and I figured it's to late to bump it now ) So hi and thanks to the people that spoke in that one.
I tried going to a Sunday meet a while ago, which was kinda cool although I found it a little hard going picking up conversation with people. But it was fun even though I really felt out of my depth. (Oh and IceAngel I was that guy you taught the 3 beat weave, I’ve mastered that now thanks!
) Haven't managed to get back to another Sunday one yet, been pretty busy and a touch scared off since I only have my poi and everyone had at least one or two other things to play with.I also tried going to the Wednesday meet in edinborough gardens yesterday but ended up being too scared to approach what was the group. Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.
I ended up just trying to teach my boy friend how to do a basic weave since he was just tagging along to keep me company, Some guy rode up to us at one stage on a bike and talked to us briefly, (hi again if you come on here.)
Anyway, hopefully next time I’ll have more nerve to approach next time. But until then I thought I’d put forward a few questions.
How do you try to introduce yourself into a new group of people that already know each other?
Whats a good way to have conversations with people you don't know very well?
Any tips for meeting new people with the intent to keep in contact instead of ending on a feeling of "oh that was an interesting time, a nice random person... now what was I doing?"
'The prerequisite of originality is the art of forgetting, at the proper moment, what we know.' 32
newbie
21 posts
21 posts
Posted:
Firstly, hi! I'm really new here but I have no trouble answering those questions
1.How do you try to introduce yourself into a new group of people that already know each other?
Well all I do is talk to one of the group of people for a while, then naturally they'll introduce you to the rest of the group of people & you'll all talk.
2. Whats a good way to have conversations with people you don't know very well?
Find a common interest and talk about it! The conversation will naturally progress from there.
3. Any tips for meeting new people with the intent to keep in contact instead of ending on a feeling of "oh that was an interesting time, a nice random person... now what was I doing?"
Make sure you take their number...and if you can, arrange to meet again another time! That's what I do..
anyway, nice to meet you and hope that helps!
Written by: dirkjently
Gah lol I’m almost tempted to try changing my name to shyguy (which would actually be a kinda cool nintendo reference but anyway slightly irrelevant embarrassed babbling aside now.
I made an intro thread a while ago and then never got around to replying to people that said hi to me in that, (that was only because I didn't realise people had posted in it and I figured it's to late to bump it now ) So hi and thanks to the people that spoke in that one.
I tried going to a Sunday meet a while ago, which was kinda cool although I found it a little hard going picking up conversation with people. But it was fun even though I really felt out of my depth. (Oh and IceAngel I was that guy you taught the 3 beat weave, I’ve mastered that now thanks!
I also tried going to the Wednesday meet in edinborough gardens yesterday but ended up being too scared to approach what was the group. Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.
I ended up just trying to teach my boy friend how to do a basic weave since he was just tagging along to keep me company, Some guy rode up to us at one stage on a bike and talked to us briefly, (hi again if you come on here.)
Anyway, hopefully next time I’ll have more nerve to approach next time. But until then I thought I’d put forward a few questions.
How do you try to introduce yourself into a new group of people that already know each other?
Whats a good way to have conversations with people you don't know very well?
Any tips for meeting new people with the intent to keep in contact instead of ending on a feeling of "oh that was an interesting time, a nice random person... now what was I doing?"
Firstly, hi! I'm really new here but I have no trouble answering those questions
1.How do you try to introduce yourself into a new group of people that already know each other?
Well all I do is talk to one of the group of people for a while, then naturally they'll introduce you to the rest of the group of people & you'll all talk.
2. Whats a good way to have conversations with people you don't know very well?
Find a common interest and talk about it! The conversation will naturally progress from there.
3. Any tips for meeting new people with the intent to keep in contact instead of ending on a feeling of "oh that was an interesting time, a nice random person... now what was I doing?"
Make sure you take their number...and if you can, arrange to meet again another time! That's what I do..
anyway, nice to meet you and hope that helps!
BRONZE Member
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
Posted:
yeah my problem is actually approaching the group heh its hard when everyone already knows eachother
yeah my problem is actually approaching the group heh its hard when everyone already knows eachother
'The prerequisite of originality is the art of forgetting, at the proper moment, what we know.' 32
BRONZE Member
Sitting down facing forward . . .
2,387 posts
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Sitting down facing forward . . .
2,387 posts
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Posted:
I remember it well!
In fact you should go back to it and keep it going 'cos this one won't be linked to your user name and people will get lost-did-id trying to talk to you and then you'll still be shy and lonely
But that's how life is. You just have to bowl on up and say "Hi". If they're a fun bunch that you have something in common with, they'll usually include you as long as you tell them about yourself and participate in the conversation.
Be confident.
You said above "I tried..." a lot of times - methinks you didn't try hard enough...
Anyway, welcome back to HoP - now go and get your original thread back into action again!
Written by: dirkjently
I made an intro thread a while ago and then never got around to replying to people that said hi to me in that, ...
I remember it well!
In fact you should go back to it and keep it going 'cos this one won't be linked to your user name and people will get lost-did-id trying to talk to you and then you'll still be shy and lonely
Written by: dirkjently
my problem is actually approaching the group heh its hard when everyone already knows eachother
But that's how life is. You just have to bowl on up and say "Hi". If they're a fun bunch that you have something in common with, they'll usually include you as long as you tell them about yourself and participate in the conversation.
Be confident.
You said above "I tried..." a lot of times - methinks you didn't try hard enough...
Anyway, welcome back to HoP - now go and get your original thread back into action again!
Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread
I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it. 
SILVER Member
stranger
5 posts
Location: Australia
stranger
5 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
I feel the same as you do, dirkjently. this will be my 2nd post on the board as I usually just read the forum.
It is quite hard to go to a group and chat. I learned my poi through classes and then, I went to a gathering. Even though I have been learning poi here and there in Melbourne for a year, I still don't know many people in the fire gatherings.
I guess it's because I'm am insecure and at the same time, the things that people talk about are related to things that they encountered in the past. Since I don't know their past, I feel like an alien who is trying to learn a new language. The feeling of being isolated is something that I go through many times. With perserverence, sometimes it works and sometimes, I just know that I have to move on.
At times, it can get depressing. For example, I just moved to London and I found out that the gathering in Spitafield is no longer there. Since there are no regular meetings, I have to make extra effort to look around the forum for meetings. Hopefully, I will get a chance to meet some people in London. However, if it doesn't work, c'est la vie.
I am not trying to say to give up hope, but perhaps, if you are really passionate about poi and you want to learn as quick as possible, then you can take my route first... which is to take a class. I saw a post in the events section on this website about a poi class in Melbourne and I am aware there are postings of classes in Juggle Arts near High Street and don't quote me on this, but I believe NICA teaches a little bit of poi.
If I was in Melbourne, I would not mind meeting you.
However, if you ever want to chat to someone, you can always send a private message to me.
I wish you good luck on your passion for poi. Don't give up, you will get there on your on time. And by the way... I understand you.
I feel the same as you do, dirkjently. this will be my 2nd post on the board as I usually just read the forum.
It is quite hard to go to a group and chat. I learned my poi through classes and then, I went to a gathering. Even though I have been learning poi here and there in Melbourne for a year, I still don't know many people in the fire gatherings.
I guess it's because I'm am insecure and at the same time, the things that people talk about are related to things that they encountered in the past. Since I don't know their past, I feel like an alien who is trying to learn a new language. The feeling of being isolated is something that I go through many times. With perserverence, sometimes it works and sometimes, I just know that I have to move on.
At times, it can get depressing. For example, I just moved to London and I found out that the gathering in Spitafield is no longer there. Since there are no regular meetings, I have to make extra effort to look around the forum for meetings. Hopefully, I will get a chance to meet some people in London. However, if it doesn't work, c'est la vie.
I am not trying to say to give up hope, but perhaps, if you are really passionate about poi and you want to learn as quick as possible, then you can take my route first... which is to take a class. I saw a post in the events section on this website about a poi class in Melbourne and I am aware there are postings of classes in Juggle Arts near High Street and don't quote me on this, but I believe NICA teaches a little bit of poi.
If I was in Melbourne, I would not mind meeting you.
However, if you ever want to chat to someone, you can always send a private message to me.
I wish you good luck on your passion for poi. Don't give up, you will get there on your on time. And by the way... I understand you.
Lizzy hearts sunshine hoop
272 posts
Location: midlands!
272 posts
Location: midlands!
Posted:
i think you just need to go for it. i know that sounds like rubbish advice and your thinking how ect ect. but jugglers are usually quite a freindly type
if not a little strange
and remember you already have loads in common because your on hop, and you are interested in spinning!!
id suggest just taking a deep breathe, walking straight up to the group* or if they are in little groups then pick a mediumish one* and just say hi, and are you *insert name of group* and that you have tried to come before but were feeling a bit shy. usually at this point everyone will introduce themselves and look after the shy person
and as for keeping in touch! make sure you tell them your name! and ask when the next meet is, and ask who they are on here for example....cos hop is great for staying in touch and ask how they have done certain moves, or ask them to teach you! then remember to turn up again for the next meet! and they will remember you
i was in the same situation at the start of uni when i approached my juggle soc, and yes it felt just the same cos they were a close knit bunch, but i have become really close friends with my lot through learning, and now teaching the newbies anyways! i dont know if i was any help! but have some confidance in yourself *because you seem genuinely lovely* there is no reason why they wont like you so get in there and good luck
i think you just need to go for it. i know that sounds like rubbish advice and your thinking how ect ect. but jugglers are usually quite a freindly type
if not a little strange and remember you already have loads in common because your on hop, and you are interested in spinning!!
id suggest just taking a deep breathe, walking straight up to the group* or if they are in little groups then pick a mediumish one* and just say hi, and are you *insert name of group* and that you have tried to come before but were feeling a bit shy. usually at this point everyone will introduce themselves and look after the shy person
and as for keeping in touch! make sure you tell them your name! and ask when the next meet is, and ask who they are on here for example....cos hop is great for staying in touch
and ask how they have done certain moves, or ask them to teach you! then remember to turn up again for the next meet! and they will remember you i was in the same situation at the start of uni when i approached my juggle soc, and yes it felt just the same cos they were a close knit bunch, but i have become really close friends with my lot through learning, and now teaching the newbies
anyways! i dont know if i was any help! but have some confidance in yourself *because you seem genuinely lovely* there is no reason why they wont like you so get in there and good luck if i could be a busy busy bee...
SILVER Member
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
Posted:
Hi! i think i did pop into your old thread, but oh well!
I go to Sunday spinning every few weeks- I'm usually too lazy to get there all the time. Were you there last night? If so, I was the one dancing round like an idiot. Actually, that's me most weeks! But yeah.. enough of my rambling. If you go next week, come say hi!
Hi! i think i did pop into your old thread, but oh well!
I go to Sunday spinning every few weeks- I'm usually too lazy to get there all the time. Were you there last night? If so, I was the one dancing round like an idiot. Actually, that's me most weeks! But yeah.. enough of my rambling. If you go next week, come say hi!
Nutella Brigade Unite!
"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge
Owned By Steaks
BRONZE Member
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
newbie
22 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
Posted:
no i wasn't there the other day, really busy these past couple of weeks uni's back this week and work has decided that they need to give me as many shifts as they can grr. can't go this sunday either cos its my dads 60th birthday party but i'm hoping to go to the wednesday session next week as thats the next day i'll have free.
i've got thirsty merc playing at my work this wednesday so i can't go.
i think you guys have given me enough of a push that i'm sure i'll do better next time thanks alot for that.
also does anyone know where to buy sock poi that are weighted in the handles? i've got home made sock poi but they don't slide against eachother well enough for tangles and i can't see any that have weighted handles to through properly
no i wasn't there the other day, really busy these past couple of weeks uni's back this week and work has decided that they need to give me as many shifts as they can grr. can't go this sunday either cos its my dads 60th birthday party but i'm hoping to go to the wednesday session next week as thats the next day i'll have free.
i've got thirsty merc playing at my work this wednesday so i can't go.
i think you guys have given me enough of a push that i'm sure i'll do better next time thanks alot for that.
also does anyone know where to buy sock poi that are weighted in the handles? i've got home made sock poi but they don't slide against eachother well enough for tangles and i can't see any that have weighted handles to through properly
'The prerequisite of originality is the art of forgetting, at the proper moment, what we know.' 32
SILVER Member
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
Posted:
I don't do Wednesdays. The few times I went, I couldn't find anyone really friendly, although I'm sure they're there!
Next time your heading to a Sunday gathering, pm me and I'll come meet you somewhere beforehand!
I don't do Wednesdays. The few times I went, I couldn't find anyone really friendly, although I'm sure they're there!
Next time your heading to a Sunday gathering, pm me and I'll come meet you somewhere beforehand!
Nutella Brigade Unite!
"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge
Owned By Steaks
PLATINUM Member
Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
3,286 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
3,286 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted:
I'm not the guy on the bike (though I only saw two bikes on the night and I have a fair idea who you might have spoken to ), but I was at that meet on that particular night I'm not usually at Wednesday gatherings all that often this time of the year.
Do come down to Sundays under the bridge! There's plenty of folk that come down 6:30ish onwards
Written by: dirkjently
I also tried going to the Wednesday meet in edinborough gardens yesterday but ended up being too scared to approach what was the group. Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.
I ended up just trying to teach my boy friend how to do a basic weave since he was just tagging along to keep me company, Some guy rode up to us at one stage on a bike and talked to us briefly, (hi again if you come on here.)
doing?"
I'm not the guy on the bike (though I only saw two bikes on the night and I have a fair idea who you might have spoken to
), but I was at that meet on that particular night I'm not usually at Wednesday gatherings all that often this time of the year. Do come down to Sundays under the bridge! There's plenty of folk that come down 6:30ish onwards
ॐ
Owner of burningoftheclavey 
Owned by Lost83spy
SILVER Member
member
38 posts
Location: Oxfordia, United Kingdom
member
38 posts
Location: Oxfordia, United Kingdom
Posted:
Hi Dirkjently! I loved reading your post, i totally empathise with everything you said, i suppose you might say i'm shy.
[Quote]Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.[/Quote]
ahhh, that's me exactly! i went to a juggling club in Oxford a few times alone, and i must say, it was terrifying! a lot of people standing facing the walls and juggling in silence broken only by the intermittent dropping of clubs... and another time a group were sitting around playing with balloons so i went to try and join them and they sorta ignored me to the point where i found myself laughing inwardly at my situation while too frozen in terror to get up and spin poi.
[Quote]Be confident. You said above "I tried..." a lot of times - methinks you didn't try hard enough...[/Quote]
that's what everyone always thinks. i think you're brave just for going. what helps loads though is if someone approaches you, saving you having to pluck up the courage to approach them and try and break into the group, which is especially hard, in life, not just in juggling.
Hi Dirkjently! I loved reading your post, i totally empathise with everything you said, i suppose you might say i'm shy.
[Quote]Personally, I find it very daunting to approach a decently sized group of people that are all chatting away especially when the only connection is an enjoyment of spinning that nobody was doing at the time.[/Quote]
ahhh, that's me exactly! i went to a juggling club in Oxford a few times alone, and i must say, it was terrifying! a lot of people standing facing the walls and juggling in silence broken only by the intermittent dropping of clubs... and another time a group were sitting around playing with balloons so i went to try and join them and they sorta ignored me to the point where i found myself laughing inwardly at my situation while too frozen in terror to get up and spin poi.
[Quote]Be confident. You said above "I tried..." a lot of times - methinks you didn't try hard enough...[/Quote]
that's what everyone always thinks. i think you're brave just for going. what helps loads though is if someone approaches you, saving you having to pluck up the courage to approach them and try and break into the group, which is especially hard, in life, not just in juggling.
they mostly come at night, mostly.
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Hey Dirkjently :hello: and
to HoP.
I'd say you did the perfect thing: post this in "intro..." instead of "discussion". Good move 
Keep it up
Hey Dirkjently :hello: and
to HoP.I'd say you did the perfect thing: post this in "intro..." instead of "discussion".
Good move Keep it up
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
GOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted:
i laugh a lot when i'm nervous.
wait a second, i laugh alot anyway.
the point is, eat your vegetables.
the end.
i laugh a lot when i'm nervous.
wait a second, i laugh alot anyway.
the point is, eat your vegetables.
the end.
Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
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