Forums > Social Chat > What would you do…

Posted: 2nd May 2003
Pretty sad when you you view everyone as a potential axe murderer.

My friends in Dublin were freaked when they heard I was meeting an internet friend (Deepsoulsheep) for the first time. However they were impressed that he seemed very normal for an internet friend??

I found my flatmate on the net and she moved in after we had emailed back and forth and talked on the phone and she is one great girl.

Sounds to me like your instincts are that the guy you have met sounds like a kindred spirit. I would go and have myself a good time, and hopefully make a new friend on the journey.

If you are still not sure, why not ask the guy to come and spend an evening with you and your mates so that their (and your) worries are alleviated?

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

Posted: 2nd May 2003
In would trust my insticts about the person and if they are telling me it's ok I would go. Sure, your friends have a right to be concerned about you but they don't have the right to dictate what you should/shouldn't do (no one has that right over another IMO). However, if you want to reassure them Kat's suggestion about getting your friends to meet the new friend is a good one. Maybe it's time in your life to move on and meet new people who you have more in common with.

I've met plenty of people who I've met online and out of the many there has only ever been one who was a bit strange and my insticts told me that in the first instance.

Best wishes for your new adventures

Are we nearly there yet?

Posted: 2nd May 2003
I would go and have fun. Hmmm...I have done that and I did go and had LOADS of fun.

Make sure that you do leave behind information on where you will be, where people can get ahold of you, etc. Take a cell phone if at all possible, and try to figure out an alternate method home, just in case. Maybe call in with someone to check in and let them relax a little. Being safe is not bad advice at all, and truthfully, in these situations you have to be. I like to usually take one person with me that I know if I can but if not, then do the best you can to prepare yourself for everything, good and bad.
No need to break out the artillery though. Just plan on having a kickin time.

This has me thinking though, since I am setting up something similar with Lightning...

*shouts over everyone*

Hey Lightning!!!!
Are you an arse murderer or a cereal killer?
If you are I might have to rethink our trip to Om in June!
And just to warn you...I am a beer guzzling, global shaped, scruffed up ex-con...just so we have no illusions before we meet!

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 2nd May 2003
Lets see,

I met my last housemate online. Nice enough bloke, but not a good personality match. I met my current housemates online, one through HoP, the other through an advertisement online in a newspaper. Both of them are great.

I met my partner online. He is definitely crazy, but mostly in a good way. We started as enemies in the anti-war thread. Settled out differences. Slowly became friends, then realised how much we cared about one another.

How did I know he was genuine? Well, I have known him for a long time. Other friends of mine had also spoken with him and knew him. A lot of people had met him in the real world. And we also spoke on the phone, not just online.

There are a lot of genuine people out there, but do be careful too.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 2nd May 2003
Well I've hitch hiked round South Africa (which isn't the safest place in the world), without any problems. I think people are generally good and I think you know enough about this person to follow your gut.

Defo agree with the idea of one of your friends meeting him with you for the first time. I was really worried meeting Kat and had a few heavies located round the pub with their number on speed dial.

I live in a world of infinite possibilities.

Posted: 2nd May 2003
People have to earn trust, but that doesn't mean it's right to distrust them from the start.

Of course it's probably fine to go with this person, but it's essential that you take precautions.

When they pick you up, get one of your boring friends to act inquisitor - they should take a photo of the two of you, get his car registration plate and if they are cheeky enough ask for ID.

If I'D found a random girl via the internet who wanted a lift to glastonbury, for example, I wouldn't mind this at all. It's where the festival spirit meets the sometimes dangerous world we live in.

Magnus... pay it forward

Posted: 2nd May 2003
So many great ideas!!! Thank you… I really like the idea of my friends meeting him first, and me meeting him first, but there has not been much time since he and I met and have decided to go to this festival - only about a week. Hence why the friends are a bit paranoid, and that’s understandable! They love me and don’t want anything to happen to me.

Thistle’s comment really touched home with me. I am VERY different from my friends. For example, I am the only one who spins poi. So naturally I want to make more friends who spin (or who play with other toys that I may be interested in learning). I don’t actually know if this guy spins, but there are people at this festival that will be – which is why I want to go so bad. My current friends can’t provide that for me… but I don’t want to loose my current friends, either. They love me for my differences and do promote me exercising my special talents. There are all great like that!

I like Mangus’s ideas about getting a friend to act as the PI when my new friend picks me up, although our situation is a bit different because he and I are meeting at the train station without my friends around. I think what I’ll do is before I even go I’ll just flat out tell my new friend that my old friends love me and are concerned about who I am spending the weekend with. That we would all appreciate things like his photo ID number, and his license plate number off the car. I have a photo of him already, so I will leave that with friends (along with that other info) before I go… even if they don’t want to be responsible for it. Maybe I’ll just leave it all laid out on my bed so if something happens it will be easy to find. As Pele said, I’ll bring my cell phone and call my friends to let them know I am OK. It is a bit scary that the web site for the festival said that cell phones won’t work at the site (it is in a valley between two mountains!!!). But I’ll be sure to call them before that happens and let them know I am OK.

Finally, this guy I am going with is not the only person I will know when I get there. There are a couple of other people I have been chatting with on-line that are planning on meeting up with me when I get there. So if I don’t want to ride back with him, I don’t have to. Plus, I’ll meet people there and surely someone will be from my area. If need be I’ll bum a ride with someone else. I have told my friends this, but I think they are worried about the initial ride up with the stranger.

I just can’t pass up the opportunity to go be a part of this seemingly glorious celebration! The chance to get to know someone who is as enthusiastic about Burning Man as myself seems invaluable!!! I feel like if I don’t take the opportunity to go do this now, then I will be faced with the same situation when Burning Man comes up – and BM is way more involved then a simple over-nighter that is so close to home. So if I don’t go now, then I almost can’t go later.

I really appreciate everyone’s comments on the board. This is my life and I plan on living it… but I also plan on taking the advice I have received here and the precautions my friends have expressed and using it all to help protect myself while I am on this adventure, and future ones.

Thank you everyone!!

[ 03. May 2003, 07:25: Message edited by: Ningal ]

>^o^<

Posted: 2nd May 2003
I was thinking today about you and your friends, it kind of reminds me of me and my old friends.

I don't know how relevant this is to your situation but I thought I'd share it with you because it may be of some help. If it's not, of course, you can just ignore my ramblings.


When I discovered poi , festivals , free parties and life on the road a lot of my friends told me I shouldn't do any of it. I was 28 at the time (a late developer ) and they all thought I should have grown up by then and want to settle down. Well I hadn't and I didn't.

At first I was a bit annoyed at them for trying to make me think like they did. After a while though I thought about why they could have reacted so negatively to something I thought was so positive and after talking with some of them I realised these things.

They were afraid of losing me as their friend.

They were afraid I would find them and their ordinary lives boring or insignificant because I was meeting lots of exciting new people and having wild adventures.

It made them question things about their own lives which they'd taken for granted before and weren't ready to look at. For example: no one has to live a 9 to 5 existence if they don't want to and we actually have a lot more freedom of choice than we let ourselves believe.

So, I reassured them that no matter what I would always love them.

I made sure that when I met up with them I was always interested in what they had been doing and played down some of the more exciting things I had done.

As for the last bit there was nothing I could do about that because I can start people thinking but I have not the power to stop them thinking.

Some of my friends have changed their opinions because of what I have done with my life. Some of these people are not in my life anymore but some of them are. The one who was most against it is still and always will be my best friend in the world. I also have lots of new friends with whom I have lots in common. My two sets of friends have joined and we're all friends together.

Good luck in this wonderful adventure we call life.

Are we nearly there yet?

Posted: 2nd May 2003
Thistle, you have made me smile and you have brought tears to my eyes at the same time. Thank you for your valuable insight… it seems as if I may be starting out on a path similar to what you experienced. I hope mine has the same positive outcome that yours found!

FYI – I have talked with my new friend and expressed the concern I had about safety and he came back with the coolest answer. I think this person and I will become very good friends… now I only have to hope that he, and any other new friends I make, will be able to commingle with my old friends, too.

Thanks again everyone – I consider ya’ll my friends, too, for reaching out to me in my confusion. I’ll post when we get back from the festival so you know how things went. I am sure it will be great!!

>^o^<

Posted: 3rd May 2003
I believe that you should look to every encounter with other as a very powerful opportunity to discover a lot about yourself, them and the world we live in. So to greet these opportunities with fear is to shut them down immediately without making use of them. But if we are open to them, but still use some common sense and caution, then there’s so much waiting for us.

I’ve met a lot of people via the internet, especially HoP. I’ve yet to meet a truly scary nutter (or at least somebody who wasn’t my kind of nutter!). And a guy should accept that if they’re meeting a girl for the first time she’s welcome to ask questions like “Are you a weirdo?” (yes, I have been asked ) and the guy shouldn’t be offended.

So, go to the festival and have a whole lotta fun!!!

Posted: 5th May 2003
I just wanted to let everyone know what a great time we had at the Beltaine Circus. We being my new, very good friend and I. We like to consider ourselves Festival Family now. We even look the same! Check it out…
Non-Https Image Link
Well, I guess he is a lot taller then me. But by the end of the night we were dubbed, "the two blonde people". We danced and skipped our way through the magical event without a scared or evil thought in the world.

Thank you to everyone for supporting me, and for sharing your tips for traveling safely. I came back to read your blessings 2-3 times before deciding and actually leaving. Finally, as resolve was becoming action The Fear subsided allowing The Challenge to have its way.

Cheers everyone!

To see more pictures and to read about the festival, please visit my web site.

>^o^<