Forums > Social Discussion > At Home Drug Tests
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I just saw a commercial for one, and I know they are starting to carry them at alot of our local stores.
In the commercial it says to talk with your kids about drugs, and show them that you have the test as a way to let them know you care.
As a parent, I am really on the fence. I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
On the other hand, I know that my parents instilled a bit of fear in me, which really did play out when I was making choices as I was growing up. In that scope, just having this might have some effect.
However, were I ever asked to use it, I would have been HIGHLY offended. I mean...over the top (because that's how I was).
So, at home drug testing as a parental tool.
What do you think?
I just saw a commercial for one, and I know they are starting to carry them at alot of our local stores.
In the commercial it says to talk with your kids about drugs, and show them that you have the test as a way to let them know you care.
As a parent, I am really on the fence. I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
On the other hand, I know that my parents instilled a bit of fear in me, which really did play out when I was making choices as I was growing up. In that scope, just having this might have some effect.
However, were I ever asked to use it, I would have been HIGHLY offended. I mean...over the top (because that's how I was).
So, at home drug testing as a parental tool.
What do you think?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Many well-meaning and good parents find it difficult to distinguish between what is 'normal' behaviour for a developing teen and what is signs of drug use.
More important, for those who do accurately recognise the signs, by the time those signs are manifesting it is generally a pretty far gone habit.
Drug kits can potentialy spot 'first use', well before drug use has become habitual.
That's not to say that the kits are good/bad, simply addressing the specific point above about parents spotting behaviour changes.
Written by: newgabe
And that if he ever used heroin or speed while he was in my house under my care then I would know without any drug testing necessary cos I know what it looks like in people.
Written by: FireTom
Not noticing a significant change in behaviour and appearance and not seeing the signs of drug abuse with ones own child, means that something is seriously wrong in the way a parent pays attention to the child already.
Many well-meaning and good parents find it difficult to distinguish between what is 'normal' behaviour for a developing teen and what is signs of drug use.
More important, for those who do accurately recognise the signs, by the time those signs are manifesting it is generally a pretty far gone habit.
Drug kits can potentialy spot 'first use', well before drug use has become habitual.
That's not to say that the kits are good/bad, simply addressing the specific point above about parents spotting behaviour changes.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I was going to say that too Dave. That I really don't want to wait until I see such obvious symptoms because then, quite personally, I have failed my child.
My parents recognized issues too late, turned the other cheek when they did because my sisters made them tired when it came to dealing with things and it caused issues for a long time, even after I was well. All I could think as a young adult was "Why didn't they care enough to step in sooner or at all?" (note: I didn't have a drug problem at all, however, the example still fits.)
I was going to say that too Dave. That I really don't want to wait until I see such obvious symptoms because then, quite personally, I have failed my child.
My parents recognized issues too late, turned the other cheek when they did because my sisters made them tired when it came to dealing with things and it caused issues for a long time, even after I was well. All I could think as a young adult was "Why didn't they care enough to step in sooner or at all?" (note: I didn't have a drug problem at all, however, the example still fits.)
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
SILVER Member
fading happily....
212 posts
Location: melbournia australia
fading happily....
212 posts
Location: melbournia australia
Posted:
for this to happen the parent would have to be regularly testing their child, even after the test coming up clean several times. I think a lot of kids would resent that lack of trust.
I think these tests could possibly be useful if you can see the signs of drug use in your child and, after *talking* to them about it, and about the changes youve been noticing in their behaviour, if they still flat out deny it but the parent is convinced, you could ask them to take a test and go on the results to talk to your child about the changes in their behaviour youve been noticing.
if positive discuss the where/how/what/why's of their drug use and what to do about it.
if negative discuss what has been going on in their lives to make them behave so noticibly different as to worry you.
i think if done carefully and tactfully it could in rare cases be useful. but not many parents that ive come across are that tactful or considerate of their childrens feelings. its sad but true IMHO. a lot are more worried about how they feel about the situation than whats going on in their kids head. Theres a lot more "somethings up with my kid, i think its drugs and that scares the SH*T out of me! i dont want my kid ending up a drugy" than there is "i think somethings up with my kid, he might even be doing drugs, i should talk to him and find out whats wrong and try to help with whatever it is." Now before i get spanked for this ill repeat: ALL MY OPINION BASED ON THE PARENTING IVE SEEN.
but having drug tests in the house as a threat will only serve to drive a wedge between parent and child.
the day my mother said "i want you to take a drug test" after arguing with me about wether or not i was doing speed was the day i replied with "fine, and when the results prove that im not on drugs i will be needing to borrow your car so i can move all my sh*t out of your house"
if youve done things right and have a healthy relationship with your child then you should be able to trust your child to talk to you, or at least be informed enough (through the education given by you the parents) to make their own choices and come safely through their healthy experimentation. if you dont have that healthy relationship and that trust... good luck to the kid coz theyre on their own.
Written by: onewheeldave
Drug kits can potentialy spot 'first use', well before drug use has become habitual.
for this to happen the parent would have to be regularly testing their child, even after the test coming up clean several times. I think a lot of kids would resent that lack of trust.
I think these tests could possibly be useful if you can see the signs of drug use in your child and, after *talking* to them about it, and about the changes youve been noticing in their behaviour, if they still flat out deny it but the parent is convinced, you could ask them to take a test and go on the results to talk to your child about the changes in their behaviour youve been noticing.
if positive discuss the where/how/what/why's of their drug use and what to do about it.
if negative discuss what has been going on in their lives to make them behave so noticibly different as to worry you.
i think if done carefully and tactfully it could in rare cases be useful. but not many parents that ive come across are that tactful or considerate of their childrens feelings. its sad but true IMHO. a lot are more worried about how they feel about the situation than whats going on in their kids head. Theres a lot more "somethings up with my kid, i think its drugs and that scares the SH*T out of me! i dont want my kid ending up a drugy" than there is "i think somethings up with my kid, he might even be doing drugs, i should talk to him and find out whats wrong and try to help with whatever it is." Now before i get spanked for this ill repeat: ALL MY OPINION BASED ON THE PARENTING IVE SEEN.
but having drug tests in the house as a threat will only serve to drive a wedge between parent and child.
the day my mother said "i want you to take a drug test" after arguing with me about wether or not i was doing speed was the day i replied with "fine, and when the results prove that im not on drugs i will be needing to borrow your car so i can move all my sh*t out of your house"
if youve done things right and have a healthy relationship with your child then you should be able to trust your child to talk to you, or at least be informed enough (through the education given by you the parents) to make their own choices and come safely through their healthy experimentation. if you dont have that healthy relationship and that trust... good luck to the kid coz theyre on their own.
We walk light
Down the wires
Higher than weather baloons
Empty hearts on fire...
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Apply that reasoning to the adult world- does a (sensible) driver resent 'the lack of trust' if they've been breathalised on several occasions and passed?
I agree, that is a good use of such kits.
I agree fully- drug tests as a threat is not good. However, they're not meant to be used as a 'threat' but as part of a sensible agreement between parent and child.
Realistically speaking, that level of good relationship is probably in the minority?
Also, many parent/child relationships are considered by both parties to be 'good' and it is only after a serious drug incident and counseling that they can see that it was lacking in some ways.
Written by: The FadeWritten by: onewheeldave
Drug kits can potentialy spot 'first use', well before drug use has become habitual.
for this to happen the parent would have to be regularly testing their child, even after the test coming up clean several times. I think a lot of kids would resent that lack of trust.
Apply that reasoning to the adult world- does a (sensible) driver resent 'the lack of trust' if they've been breathalised on several occasions and passed?
Written by: The Fade
I think these tests could possibly be useful if you can see the signs of drug use in your child and, after *talking* to them about it, and about the changes youve been noticing in their behaviour, if they still flat out deny it but the parent is convinced, you could ask them to take a test and go on the results to talk to your child about the changes in their behaviour youve been noticing.
I agree, that is a good use of such kits.
Written by: The Fade
but having drug tests in the house as a threat will only serve to drive a wedge between parent and child.
I agree fully- drug tests as a threat is not good. However, they're not meant to be used as a 'threat' but as part of a sensible agreement between parent and child.
Written by: The Fade
if youve done things right and have a healthy relationship with your child then you should be able to trust your child to talk to you, or at least be informed enough (through the education given by you the parents) to make their own choices and come safely through their healthy experimentation. if you dont have that healthy relationship and that trust... good luck to the kid coz theyre on their own.
Realistically speaking, that level of good relationship is probably in the minority?
Also, many parent/child relationships are considered by both parties to be 'good' and it is only after a serious drug incident and counseling that they can see that it was lacking in some ways.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Congratualtions on your argumentative skills- cleverly turning an 'if' (you're on drugs) into a definite 'not' (when the results prove I'm not) then adding a threat ('Ill move out').
Which of course is true from your perspective (I'm assuming you weren't on speed) but seriously fails to take account of the fact that your mother does not, as you do, live in your head and know the facts.
Instead she has to 'trust' and, not doubt being aware of the many, many instances in which this has failed, sometimes with tragic consequences, in other parent/child relationships.
So, while your response was clever, in terms of you getting what you wanted, it does seem lacking in trying to establish that which you claim is important- establishing a good relationship in which trust is possible.
Because trust is something that does need the fertile soil of a genuine relationship with mutual respect- it can't be simply asserted as 'you've got to trust me simply cos I'm your child, despite the fact that i personally am not prepared to meet you half-way; because your approach has been far from perfect, so why should mine be anything but.
If you really cannot see why a parent wouldn't be stressed and concerned in this situation, then there's little hope of reaching an amicable solution to the difficulty.
Written by: The Fade
the day my mother said "i want you to take a drug test" after arguing with me about wether or not i was doing speed was the day i replied with "fine, and when the results prove that im not on drugs i will be needing to borrow your car so i can move all my sh*t out of your house"
Congratualtions on your argumentative skills- cleverly turning an 'if' (you're on drugs) into a definite 'not' (when the results prove I'm not) then adding a threat ('Ill move out').
Which of course is true from your perspective (I'm assuming you weren't on speed) but seriously fails to take account of the fact that your mother does not, as you do, live in your head and know the facts.
Instead she has to 'trust' and, not doubt being aware of the many, many instances in which this has failed, sometimes with tragic consequences, in other parent/child relationships.
So, while your response was clever, in terms of you getting what you wanted, it does seem lacking in trying to establish that which you claim is important- establishing a good relationship in which trust is possible.
Because trust is something that does need the fertile soil of a genuine relationship with mutual respect- it can't be simply asserted as 'you've got to trust me simply cos I'm your child, despite the fact that i personally am not prepared to meet you half-way; because your approach has been far from perfect, so why should mine be anything but.
If you really cannot see why a parent wouldn't be stressed and concerned in this situation, then there's little hope of reaching an amicable solution to the difficulty.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Sorry for the focus on your posts Fade, it's just that you're raising some points that i feel the need to comment on- I'm not trying to put you down.
'Healthy experimentation' is a fairly bizarre phrase- certainly, it seems to me, a 'loaded' one.
I think where sampling drugs is concerned, there's a heated debate on whether it's harmful or not, but I don't think anyone is going to say that sampling drugs will actually improve ones health?
Further, wherever a group 'experiments' with drugs, some portion of that group will definitly suffer problems ranging from mild, to extremely serious.
In the case of heroin and nicotine, that portion is high- a very high proportion of children who smoke for six months will end up as lifetime addicts; so, in that case I'd question the term 'experiment' over that time scale.
Of those who sample nicotine on a few occasions, again, quite a high proprotion will end up as life-time addicts.
It goes without saying that those who do not experiement with nicotine, are guaranteed to not become nicotine addicts.
The same is true, to a lesser extent, with weed and alcohol.
Would the word 'healthy' not be more appropriately applied to not experimenting with drugs.
Unless, of course, you feel that there are instances where children have declined to experiement with drugs and, as a consequence, have suffered?
If so, perhaps you could elaborate on that and provide examples (real or hypothetical) because I am genuinely interested in whether that could be the case.
Written by: The Fade
to make their own choices and come safely through their healthy experimentation.
Sorry for the focus on your posts Fade, it's just that you're raising some points that i feel the need to comment on- I'm not trying to put you down.
'Healthy experimentation' is a fairly bizarre phrase- certainly, it seems to me, a 'loaded' one.
I think where sampling drugs is concerned, there's a heated debate on whether it's harmful or not, but I don't think anyone is going to say that sampling drugs will actually improve ones health?
Further, wherever a group 'experiments' with drugs, some portion of that group will definitly suffer problems ranging from mild, to extremely serious.
In the case of heroin and nicotine, that portion is high- a very high proportion of children who smoke for six months will end up as lifetime addicts; so, in that case I'd question the term 'experiment' over that time scale.
Of those who sample nicotine on a few occasions, again, quite a high proprotion will end up as life-time addicts.
It goes without saying that those who do not experiement with nicotine, are guaranteed to not become nicotine addicts.
The same is true, to a lesser extent, with weed and alcohol.
Would the word 'healthy' not be more appropriately applied to not experimenting with drugs.
Unless, of course, you feel that there are instances where children have declined to experiement with drugs and, as a consequence, have suffered?
If so, perhaps you could elaborate on that and provide examples (real or hypothetical) because I am genuinely interested in whether that could be the case.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
There is a fine line between caring and overparenting. Fortunately enough not the entire world is like Manhattan and in the meantime we have cellphones, for parents to be able answering this set.
@ all: the first drug abuse I ever commited was tobacco and later alcohol. Dunno whether there are test checking on that one, but there seems to be a misconception that a kid will start crack and heroine before it tries other drugs.
That is assuming you're old enough to do so? But I like your attitude on the topic.
If parents can't get through to their children anymore and have a reasonable argument in honesty, things have already gotten rotten.
In my understanding the phrase "healty experimentation" is a potentially dangerous one, yet I (guess I) get what you mean by that. The point is a strong social background and enough satisfactory alternatives to (prevent) drug abuse - at least IMHO.
Written by: Doc
I always tell my parents that they should be able to answer four questions at all times:
"Where is my kid?"
"Who is he with?"
"When will he be back?"
"How is he getting back?"
There is a fine line between caring and overparenting. Fortunately enough not the entire world is like Manhattan and in the meantime we have cellphones, for parents to be able answering this set.
@ all: the first drug abuse I ever commited was tobacco and later alcohol. Dunno whether there are test checking on that one, but there seems to be a misconception that a kid will start crack and heroine before it tries other drugs.
Written by: the fade
the day my mother said "i want you to take a drug test" after arguing with me about wether or not i was doing speed was the day i replied with "fine, and when the results prove that im not on drugs i will be needing to borrow your car so i can move all my sh*t out of your house"
That is assuming you're old enough to do so? But I like your attitude on the topic.
If parents can't get through to their children anymore and have a reasonable argument in honesty, things have already gotten rotten.
In my understanding the phrase "healty experimentation" is a potentially dangerous one, yet I (guess I) get what you mean by that. The point is a strong social background and enough satisfactory alternatives to (prevent) drug abuse - at least IMHO.
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
BRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Posted:
I wouldn't drugs test my kids I'd like to think i would recognise the signs having been there myself
I used home kits as I used to have a job with regular testing and me just out of uni... well
I wouldn't drugs test my kids I'd like to think i would recognise the signs having been there myself
I used home kits as I used to have a job with regular testing and me just out of uni... well
A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
im a bit confused if you dont take speed or other such substances why would easing your mothers concerns be such a big deal? it leads me to wonder a few things, have you ever taken speed or other such substances? if yes was your mother aware of this? what events in your opinion would have caused your mother to think that you where taking speed? if you dont have a past of drug use did you confront her and ask her where her fears where coming from?
i dont think you can make that comparision theres a difference between the law which is enforced by a faceless body and a request from a loving family member that says i dont trust you.
Written by: The Fade
the day my mother said "i want you to take a drug test" after arguing with me about wether or not i was doing speed was the day i replied with "fine, and when the results prove that im not on drugs i will be needing to borrow your car so i can move all my sh*t out of your house"
im a bit confused if you dont take speed or other such substances why would easing your mothers concerns be such a big deal? it leads me to wonder a few things, have you ever taken speed or other such substances? if yes was your mother aware of this? what events in your opinion would have caused your mother to think that you where taking speed? if you dont have a past of drug use did you confront her and ask her where her fears where coming from?
Written by: onewheeldave
Apply that reasoning to the adult world- does a (sensible) driver resent 'the lack of trust' if they've been breathalised on several occasions and passed?
i dont think you can make that comparision theres a difference between the law which is enforced by a faceless body and a request from a loving family member that says i dont trust you.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Ben, have you just answered your initial question with your assumption?
As a sidenote: certainly moving out of the family home will be a temporary measure as family members are entangled by fate, not by choice.
Ben, have you just answered your initial question with your assumption?
As a sidenote: certainly moving out of the family home will be a temporary measure as family members are entangled by fate, not by choice.
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
mmm not really thers alot of unknown factors and background stuff, i dont really get it if your on stuff i wouldnt imagine you would take the test then move out, if you wherent i cant see why its a big deal/it then gives a throw back reference if it comes up again
Written by: FireTom
Ben, have you just answered your initial question with your assumption?
mmm not really thers alot of unknown factors and background stuff, i dont really get it if your on stuff i wouldnt imagine you would take the test then move out, if you wherent i cant see why its a big deal/it then gives a throw back reference if it comes up again
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
The comparison is that, where drug testing is concerned, the issue is not so much about trust, but more about human nature.
People taking drugs when they're not supposed to are extremely prone to lying to cover up.
Unfortunately, to the external observer, a person using drugs and denying it, is often indistinguishable from one not taking drugs and stating that truthfuly.
A not-drug-taking child may say, "I'm not taking drugs, i resent the lack of trust and I'm inclined to leave home if you push this issue".
Unfortunately a child on drugs can say exactly the same words and pretty much be indistinguishable from the one above.
As long as we fixate purely on the trust side and the scenario of testing being imposed, then of course 'drug kits=questionable/wrong'.
If however, in a reasonably good parent/child relationship, a discussion along the lines of
*people routinely lie (especially where misuse of drugs is concerned"
*you (my child) are a person and thus capeable of lying (especially if you and your peer group consider use of a particular drug to be harmless, as many do
*As you know there are many well-documented cases of parents/children with apparently good, trusting relationships, which descended into drugs based hell
*As a child, while you can intellenctually grasp the concept of addiction, unfortunately, to fully appreciate it, you need to either have suffered it, or watched others suffer it.
Many children (and listen to your dad here cos this happened to him
) whilst 'knowing' that, for example, nicotine is a very addictive and habit forming substance; will consider that, for whatever reason, it could not happen to them- they can sample/play/experiement with it, then choose to walk away.
However, this is precisly why so there are so many lifetime addicted smokers, they 'experimented' thought 'this is vile, NO WAY am I getting addicted to this! (but i'll have the odd one now and again to look cool/relax me/impress the girls etc, etc.)
*Given this and, while I do trust you to the extent that I trust any human being, I think you can appreciate from what I'm expressed above, that there is a potential issue here.
I think you can see that, while trust is important, blind trust is simply silly.
As you go through life you'll find that, in some situations people will take you on trust alone; in others, you will have to prove what you claim, because, in this world, while you may be 100% honest (actually unlikely, given that most of us will bend the truth if, in our opinion, there is no great harm in doing so), others are quite happy to lie to make things easier for themselves.
Examples being a college/job application where, for everything you claim to have achieved, you will have to provide checkable verification.
Having said all that, the option of voluntary drug testing is available- how do you feel about it.
And lastly, if you choose to do the drug testing option, I will insist that I will also be tested with the same regularity because i am also subject to human nature and would not expect you to simply take my word for it that i am not taking drugs.
================
I am not a parent, but I do work with a lot of children and what i consistently find is that, if you show them the respect of discussiong options with them in an adult manner and explaining the reasoning behind what you're asking them to do and welcoming their input/views/discussion; then they are very happy to comply with things that, if they were simply pushed on them or explained badly, they would resent.
Examples being the issue of compulsory safety equipment when i ran the unicycle course- teens are, either by instinct or peer-pressure, negative about pads/helmets.
With proper discussion, they were happy to comply and, on occasion, they would ask for extra pads when they felt out of their depth.- they realised that pads/helmet, contrary to their initial opinion, were not 'uncool' or worn by 'wusses/scardy cats'.
And i like to think that, in the process, they learned a little about the nature of peer-pressure and the way that it is easy to accept groundless myths as true.
That's just one example, there's many more, often about discipline/group behaviour- explanation, reason and respectful discussion solve them all.
Where i'm concerned, i totally understand that drug testing, whether for me or a child, can be not only perfectly reasonable, but, in some cases, the best solution- a solution based not on mistrust, but on respect.
Now, can someone give me the link to the company making these kits- I want to apply for a job in their marketing department
Written by: ben-ja-menWritten by: onewheeldave
Apply that reasoning to the adult world- does a (sensible) driver resent 'the lack of trust' if they've been breathalised on several occasions and passed?
i dont think you can make that comparision theres a difference between the law which is enforced by a faceless body and a request from a loving family member that says i dont trust you.
The comparison is that, where drug testing is concerned, the issue is not so much about trust, but more about human nature.
People taking drugs when they're not supposed to are extremely prone to lying to cover up.
Unfortunately, to the external observer, a person using drugs and denying it, is often indistinguishable from one not taking drugs and stating that truthfuly.
A not-drug-taking child may say, "I'm not taking drugs, i resent the lack of trust and I'm inclined to leave home if you push this issue".
Unfortunately a child on drugs can say exactly the same words and pretty much be indistinguishable from the one above.
As long as we fixate purely on the trust side and the scenario of testing being imposed, then of course 'drug kits=questionable/wrong'.
If however, in a reasonably good parent/child relationship, a discussion along the lines of
*people routinely lie (especially where misuse of drugs is concerned"
*you (my child) are a person and thus capeable of lying (especially if you and your peer group consider use of a particular drug to be harmless, as many do
*As you know there are many well-documented cases of parents/children with apparently good, trusting relationships, which descended into drugs based hell
*As a child, while you can intellenctually grasp the concept of addiction, unfortunately, to fully appreciate it, you need to either have suffered it, or watched others suffer it.
Many children (and listen to your dad here cos this happened to him
) whilst 'knowing' that, for example, nicotine is a very addictive and habit forming substance; will consider that, for whatever reason, it could not happen to them- they can sample/play/experiement with it, then choose to walk away.However, this is precisly why so there are so many lifetime addicted smokers, they 'experimented' thought 'this is vile, NO WAY am I getting addicted to this! (but i'll have the odd one now and again to look cool/relax me/impress the girls etc, etc.)
*Given this and, while I do trust you to the extent that I trust any human being, I think you can appreciate from what I'm expressed above, that there is a potential issue here.
I think you can see that, while trust is important, blind trust is simply silly.
As you go through life you'll find that, in some situations people will take you on trust alone; in others, you will have to prove what you claim, because, in this world, while you may be 100% honest (actually unlikely, given that most of us will bend the truth if, in our opinion, there is no great harm in doing so), others are quite happy to lie to make things easier for themselves.
Examples being a college/job application where, for everything you claim to have achieved, you will have to provide checkable verification.
Having said all that, the option of voluntary drug testing is available- how do you feel about it.
And lastly, if you choose to do the drug testing option, I will insist that I will also be tested with the same regularity because i am also subject to human nature and would not expect you to simply take my word for it that i am not taking drugs.
================
I am not a parent, but I do work with a lot of children and what i consistently find is that, if you show them the respect of discussiong options with them in an adult manner and explaining the reasoning behind what you're asking them to do and welcoming their input/views/discussion; then they are very happy to comply with things that, if they were simply pushed on them or explained badly, they would resent.
Examples being the issue of compulsory safety equipment when i ran the unicycle course- teens are, either by instinct or peer-pressure, negative about pads/helmets.
With proper discussion, they were happy to comply and, on occasion, they would ask for extra pads when they felt out of their depth.- they realised that pads/helmet, contrary to their initial opinion, were not 'uncool' or worn by 'wusses/scardy cats'.
And i like to think that, in the process, they learned a little about the nature of peer-pressure and the way that it is easy to accept groundless myths as true.
That's just one example, there's many more, often about discipline/group behaviour- explanation, reason and respectful discussion solve them all.
Where i'm concerned, i totally understand that drug testing, whether for me or a child, can be not only perfectly reasonable, but, in some cases, the best solution- a solution based not on mistrust, but on respect.
Now, can someone give me the link to the company making these kits- I want to apply for a job in their marketing department
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
if there was an equivalent test that you could give to your girlfriend to see if she had slept with another guy, i think it wouldnt matter how you worded it she would still take it as "you think i cheated on you, if you dont think that then why are you asking me to take a test".
if you dont theres a possibility thats something is true why would u test for it? if you trust them why not just ask why test? why because you think that if they have made a mistake they will lie about it so asking is pointless because you dont trust that they will tell you if they have a problem/have made a mistake.
you dont open your fridge every hour to check its still working, however if theres a burning smell or you cant hear your fridges hum then you have a look. ppl dont do things without a reason.
Written by: onewheeldave
a solution based not on mistrust, but on respect.
if there was an equivalent test that you could give to your girlfriend to see if she had slept with another guy, i think it wouldnt matter how you worded it she would still take it as "you think i cheated on you, if you dont think that then why are you asking me to take a test".
if you dont theres a possibility thats something is true why would u test for it? if you trust them why not just ask why test? why because you think that if they have made a mistake they will lie about it so asking is pointless because you dont trust that they will tell you if they have a problem/have made a mistake.
you dont open your fridge every hour to check its still working, however if theres a burning smell or you cant hear your fridges hum then you have a look. ppl dont do things without a reason.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
If there was a non-invasive test to check for cheating in relationships, then I personally would have no objections whatsoever if, as part of a mutual agreement between us, I got tested to ensure that I was remaining faithful.
And I find the viewpoint that it would imply a lack of trust to be quite bizarre.
Ben- do you apply for jobs? Do you refuse to fill in the sections asking for references on the grounds that your potential employer should simply trust you; after all, the employer/employee relationship generally, when established, is an important one which requires a degree of trust.
Written by: ben-ja-menWritten by: onewheeldave
a solution based not on mistrust, but on respect.
if there was an equivalent test that you could give to your girlfriend to see if she had slept with another guy, i think it wouldnt matter how you worded it she would still take it as "you think i cheated on you, if you dont think that then why are you asking me to take a test".
if you dont theres a possibility thats something is true why would u test for it? if you trust them why not just ask why test? why because you think that if they have made a mistake they will lie about it so asking is pointless because you dont trust that they will tell you if they have a problem/have made a mistake.
you dont open your fridge every hour to check its still working, however if theres a burning smell or you cant hear your fridges hum then you have a look. ppl dont do things without a reason.
If there was a non-invasive test to check for cheating in relationships, then I personally would have no objections whatsoever if, as part of a mutual agreement between us, I got tested to ensure that I was remaining faithful.
And I find the viewpoint that it would imply a lack of trust to be quite bizarre.
Ben- do you apply for jobs? Do you refuse to fill in the sections asking for references on the grounds that your potential employer should simply trust you; after all, the employer/employee relationship generally, when established, is an important one which requires a degree of trust.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Hmmmmm...actually Dave, you bring up something interesting.
What if the parents took the test too? As in, with the kids?
Hmmmmm...actually Dave, you bring up something interesting.
What if the parents took the test too? As in, with the kids?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
That's a cute point but... I don't think it's a good precedent to say that parents and children should be held to the same expectations in all things.
I think it could work in some situations.
I wish I could show my students the results of my drug/alcohol tests. They don't believe me because I listen to techno and live in 'the city.'
That's a cute point but... I don't think it's a good precedent to say that parents and children should be held to the same expectations in all things.
I think it could work in some situations.
I wish I could show my students the results of my drug/alcohol tests. They don't believe me because I listen to techno and live in 'the city.'
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
1) if honesty is based upon paranoia, it's worth nothing IMO
2) I get your methaphore with the job (I guess) but to me this is something completely different. I have no private, intimate relationship with my employer. In Germany it's illegal to ask women whether they are pregnant at the time of the interview and it's legal for you to lie when an illegal question is asked. I'm not going to reveal my personal habits to my employer - in no case he's got the right to ask. Now with jobs that have a certain responsibility (like busdriver, or anything that involves the responsibility over human lives) a drug test is mandatory - and I think it's a good thing. Wouldn't want my driver to be on speed.
Pele: this is exactly a very good point! How could I possibly expect my child to stay away from drugs if I don't?
NYC: Well, why cantya?
Written by: owd
If there was a non-invasive test to check for cheating in relationships, then I personally would have no objections whatsoever if, as part of a mutual agreement between us, I got tested to ensure that I was remaining faithful.
And I find the viewpoint that it would imply a lack of trust to be quite bizarre.
Ben- do you apply for jobs? Do you refuse to fill in the sections asking for references on the grounds that your potential employer should simply trust you; after all, the employer/employee relationship generally, when established, is an important one which requires a degree of trust.
1) if honesty is based upon paranoia, it's worth nothing IMO
2) I get your methaphore with the job (I guess) but to me this is something completely different. I have no private, intimate relationship with my employer. In Germany it's illegal to ask women whether they are pregnant at the time of the interview and it's legal for you to lie when an illegal question is asked. I'm not going to reveal my personal habits to my employer - in no case he's got the right to ask. Now with jobs that have a certain responsibility (like busdriver, or anything that involves the responsibility over human lives) a drug test is mandatory - and I think it's a good thing. Wouldn't want my driver to be on speed.
Pele: this is exactly a very good point! How could I possibly expect my child to stay away from drugs if I don't?
NYC: Well, why cantya?
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
differnce is with a potential employer they dont know you theres no history there so they need to form an opinion about you after which you will find they trust you until u give them a reason not to. with a child you have their lifetime of history hence the trust should already be there, asking for validation of that trust indicates you have questions about how well placed it is
Written by: onewheeldave
Ben- do you apply for jobs? Do you refuse to fill in the sections asking for references on the grounds that your potential employer should simply trust you; after all, the employer/employee relationship generally, when established, is an important one which requires a degree of trust.
differnce is with a potential employer they dont know you theres no history there so they need to form an opinion about you after which you will find they trust you until u give them a reason not to. with a child you have their lifetime of history hence the trust should already be there, asking for validation of that trust indicates you have questions about how well placed it is
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
It's true. If you knew everything the child did in the history of their lives you would not need a drug test.
"I trust my kid"
That sentence always makes me laugh.
Only because I think of my students hysterically laughing at how clueless their parents are.
The difference between those "% of parents that think their kids are on drugs" and "% of kids that admit being on drugs" polls are always hysterical.
Written by: ben-ja-men
with a child you have their lifetime of history hence the trust should already be there,
It's true. If you knew everything the child did in the history of their lives you would not need a drug test.
"I trust my kid"
That sentence always makes me laugh.Only because I think of my students hysterically laughing at how clueless their parents are.
The difference between those "% of parents that think their kids are on drugs" and "% of kids that admit being on drugs" polls are always hysterical.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
addict
449 posts
Location: Australia
addict
449 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
Parents giving their kids drug tests sounds like something out of 1984.
Written by: Pele
I just saw a commercial for one, and I know they are starting to carry them at alot of our local stores.
In the commercial it says to talk with your kids about drugs, and show them that you have the test as a way to let them know you care.
As a parent, I am really on the fence. I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
On the other hand, I know that my parents instilled a bit of fear in me, which really did play out when I was making choices as I was growing up. In that scope, just having this might have some effect.
However, were I ever asked to use it, I would have been HIGHLY offended. I mean...over the top (because that's how I was).
So, at home drug testing as a parental tool.
What do you think?
Parents giving their kids drug tests sounds like something out of 1984.
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
I thought this was interesting
https://oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/2k3NSDUH/2k3OverviewW.pdf
The most disturbing statistic was that 19% of people between the ages of 12 and 20 are binge drinkers. I guess most of them are 18-20 but that's still a bit scary. Then again, I'm sure that a much higher percent than that of my 15 year olds binge drink so I don't know why I'm surprised.
I thought this was interesting
https://oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/2k3NSDUH/2k3OverviewW.pdf
The most disturbing statistic was that 19% of people between the ages of 12 and 20 are binge drinkers. I guess most of them are 18-20 but that's still a bit scary. Then again, I'm sure that a much higher percent than that of my 15 year olds binge drink so I don't know why I'm surprised.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
addict
449 posts
Location: Australia
addict
449 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
Chances are, if you're such a crap parent that you have to rely on drug tests, your kid is probably far more messed up than the average pothead.
Not only that, but it also means that your relationship with your kid is so degenerate that even if you do bust them, you won't be able to help them because you've identified yourself as an enemy/mega-lo-maniac; you will NEVER be able to have heart-to-heart conversations, and they will never take you seriously because they will feel you don't respect them.
Chances are, if you're such a crap parent that you have to rely on drug tests, your kid is probably far more messed up than the average pothead.
Not only that, but it also means that your relationship with your kid is so degenerate that even if you do bust them, you won't be able to help them because you've identified yourself as an enemy/mega-lo-maniac; you will NEVER be able to have heart-to-heart conversations, and they will never take you seriously because they will feel you don't respect them.
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
I'm still stuck on this site. I'd never have guessed that Marijuana use in the US was so low. I guess it punctuates the difference between drug use in the firespinning community vs. general public. And since there's such a strong link between parental and child drug use I'd assume that link would hold true for that community as well.
Written by: NYC
I thought this was interesting
https://oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/2k3NSDUH/2k3OverviewW.pdf
I'm still stuck on this site. I'd never have guessed that Marijuana use in the US was so low. I guess it punctuates the difference between drug use in the firespinning community vs. general public. And since there's such a strong link between parental and child drug use I'd assume that link would hold true for that community as well.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
i guess theres a few senarios here,
1. awesome parents who talk to their child regularly in an open dialogue and always have time for their children regardless of how tired they are
2. average parents who are interested in their childs life but are not pro active in it.
3. poor parents who want a good child but dont want to put the effort in to ensure that this happens
4. bad parents who dont care
naturally theres all the flavours of the rainbow in between
in the case of 3 and 4 i would agree that their probably isnt a basis for trust purely on the lifetime of living together, in the case of 2 maybe maybe not depending on environmental factors, in the case of 1 i think there is a reason to have faith in your child and the way you have raised them.
If you are an open and fair parent then theres no reason for the child not to talk to you about what is bothering them, i know that both my brother and myself experienced this with our parents.
Personally i think that mums who give up a career so that they can be home when their child comes home from school and take and active role in their childs life are the most amazing ppl. I know that my mum being a stay at home mum who was there to listen and help me when a had a bad day at school (most days) made the most immense impact on my life. I also know that there is nothing i couldnt talk to my parents about and when i had a problem i did.
thats very sad
Written by: NYCWritten by: ben-ja-men
with a child you have their lifetime of history hence the trust should already be there,
It's true. If you knew everything the child did in the history of their lives you would not need a drug test.
"I trust my kid"
i guess theres a few senarios here,
1. awesome parents who talk to their child regularly in an open dialogue and always have time for their children regardless of how tired they are
2. average parents who are interested in their childs life but are not pro active in it.
3. poor parents who want a good child but dont want to put the effort in to ensure that this happens
4. bad parents who dont care
naturally theres all the flavours of the rainbow in between
in the case of 3 and 4 i would agree that their probably isnt a basis for trust purely on the lifetime of living together, in the case of 2 maybe maybe not depending on environmental factors, in the case of 1 i think there is a reason to have faith in your child and the way you have raised them.
If you are an open and fair parent then theres no reason for the child not to talk to you about what is bothering them, i know that both my brother and myself experienced this with our parents.
Personally i think that mums who give up a career so that they can be home when their child comes home from school and take and active role in their childs life are the most amazing ppl. I know that my mum being a stay at home mum who was there to listen and help me when a had a bad day at school (most days) made the most immense impact on my life. I also know that there is nothing i couldnt talk to my parents about and when i had a problem i did.
Written by: NYC
Only because I think of my students hysterically laughing at how clueless their parents are.
thats very sad
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
I wish there were just as many dads willing to do that.
And don't get me started on the sadness of bad parenting.
Written by: ben-ja-men
Personally i think that mums who give up a career so that they can be home when their child comes home from school and take and active role in their childs life are the most amazing ppl.
I wish there were just as many dads willing to do that.
And don't get me started on the sadness of bad parenting.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
Posted:
NYC, why can't you show the kids your drug test results? It might make a very healthy point for them. Is there some rule against it?
I think it is all around communication. If a parent can discuss and communicate with their child why they would like them to take such a test, it might not come across as such an offensive suggestion. On the other hand, if they could communicate that well, they probably would not feel the need for such a test.
I totally wish I had had more rules shown in my life as a teenager. The only rule I was given was that when the police picked me up, not to give my real name, and that no one would pick me up from the station!! Consequently thought my parents did not care. I found out later, an interesting example of how my mom did care...in her own way...
I had snuck out my window, through the neighbors yard, to meet friends for a lift to the bar/dance club--almost every night from the ages of 14 to 16 . I would then sneak back in at an indecent hour of the morning, sleep a few hours, get up and go to school. I was dancing, none of us ever took drugs and rarely even drank anything. It was sooo much fun, and we all loved the risk involved in getting caught.But I never did get caught, or so I thought.
A decade later I discovered that my mom had taken aside the older friend that was driving us all, and told them she knew of our escapades! Said she would not interfere as long as my grades did not drop. However, she would not tolerate any signs of drug use, and if there was ever a situation when the driver was not fit to drive, she would pay for a cab to have us brought safely to my house- or come and get us from anywhere at all, without judgement. The friend was told to never tell me that she knew, cause that would wreck my fun!!!!! they kept the secret all that time!
Now I think that is a pretty cool response on her part. But then,as a teen, I might have liked to have a few boundaries established. It would have made me feel more secure. I would have taken a test, because it would have clearly shown that I was truthful, then trust would be greater, based on clear demonstration of facts...
Interesting subject, thanks Pele!
NYC, why can't you show the kids your drug test results? It might make a very healthy point for them. Is there some rule against it?
I think it is all around communication. If a parent can discuss and communicate with their child why they would like them to take such a test, it might not come across as such an offensive suggestion. On the other hand, if they could communicate that well, they probably would not feel the need for such a test.
I totally wish I had had more rules shown in my life as a teenager. The only rule I was given was that when the police picked me up, not to give my real name, and that no one would pick me up from the station!! Consequently thought my parents did not care. I found out later, an interesting example of how my mom did care...in her own way...
I had snuck out my window, through the neighbors yard, to meet friends for a lift to the bar/dance club--almost every night from the ages of 14 to 16 . I would then sneak back in at an indecent hour of the morning, sleep a few hours, get up and go to school. I was dancing, none of us ever took drugs and rarely even drank anything. It was sooo much fun, and we all loved the risk involved in getting caught.But I never did get caught, or so I thought.
A decade later I discovered that my mom had taken aside the older friend that was driving us all, and told them she knew of our escapades! Said she would not interfere as long as my grades did not drop. However, she would not tolerate any signs of drug use, and if there was ever a situation when the driver was not fit to drive, she would pay for a cab to have us brought safely to my house- or come and get us from anywhere at all, without judgement. The friend was told to never tell me that she knew, cause that would wreck my fun!!!!! they kept the secret all that time!
Now I think that is a pretty cool response on her part. But then,as a teen, I might have liked to have a few boundaries established. It would have made me feel more secure. I would have taken a test, because it would have clearly shown that I was truthful, then trust would be greater, based on clear demonstration of facts...
Interesting subject, thanks Pele!
"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
It would be unbelievably inappropriate.
Written by: BansheeCat
NYC, why can't you show the kids your drug test results? It might make a very healthy point for them. Is there some rule against it?
It would be unbelievably inappropriate.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
Posted:
Do tell, why so?
Sorry, I am not at all involved in teaching, and it is not obvious to me why it would be inappropriate, if it could be done within a context of discussion about drug use prevention etc etc.Or are there not things like that in high school these days?
Or is it that you must remain a professional distance from students , and keep your private life private?
I understand if you dont want to elaborate, but I am curious.
Do tell, why so?
Sorry, I am not at all involved in teaching, and it is not obvious to me why it would be inappropriate, if it could be done within a context of discussion about drug use prevention etc etc.Or are there not things like that in high school these days?
Or is it that you must remain a professional distance from students , and keep your private life private?
I understand if you dont want to elaborate, but I am curious.
"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Not if you know your kid. And not if you know your kid's friends and have always been on top of him, his whereabouts, and his comings and goings.
That ad campaign that says that parents are the anti-drug is almost right. GOOD PARENTING is the anti-drug.
And I don't think drug testing your kid with no history of drug use is good parenting.
Written by: onewheeldave
Unfortunately, to the external observer, a person using drugs and denying it, is often indistinguishable from one not taking drugs and stating that truthfuly.
A not-drug-taking child may say, "I'm not taking drugs, i resent the lack of trust and I'm inclined to leave home if you push this issue".
Unfortunately a child on drugs can say exactly the same words and pretty much be indistinguishable from the one above.
Not if you know your kid. And not if you know your kid's friends and have always been on top of him, his whereabouts, and his comings and goings.
That ad campaign that says that parents are the anti-drug is almost right. GOOD PARENTING is the anti-drug.
And I don't think drug testing your kid with no history of drug use is good parenting.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
It's really not my place to mix personal and professional lives. I don't think parents would appreciate it. I don't think other teachers would appreciate it.
I have a role in their lives and once you start blurring roles I think each role becomes less effective.
Written by: BansheeCat
Do tell, why so?
Sorry, I am not at all involved in teaching, and it is not obvious to me why it would be inappropriate, if it could be done within a context of discussion about drug use prevention etc etc.Or are there not things like that in high school these days?
Or is it that you must remain a professional distance from students , and keep your private life private?
I understand if you dont want to elaborate, but I am curious.
It's really not my place to mix personal and professional lives. I don't think parents would appreciate it. I don't think other teachers would appreciate it.
I have a role in their lives and once you start blurring roles I think each role becomes less effective.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
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