Forums > Social Discussion > THings to do when you feel off balance
Login/Join to ParticipateFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
When I am in peace and relatively balanced I have a whole heap of strong positive beleifs about the importance of letting go of the things you cannot control, about cultivating a certain detachment, about keeping myself centered...
then comes stress of any sort, worries about your health, work... anything... and in a way it does not matter wehther it is a "good or valid reason" or not. what matters is taht suddenly i am off balance.
then I try to revive those shining theories I have but suddenly they irritate me because i am not in the realm of the mind, rather in a more animal realm...
like tonight -dang i am finding it hard to sleep
-
I know the feeling of getting back on track and finding my balance again but i know there are many ways to reach that state again.
I used to count a lot on others to help in that glorious task, but the more I grow the less i beleive in it. I mainly expect from partner and friends to give me that love and safe feeling that i have time and space to be imbalanced and then get balanced again and it is OK by them.
so what do i do ?
quite often I meditate, or just take deep breaths. I certainly think back about the great lessons and events of my life and what i felt right after they occured and try to reconnect with this incredible energy. you know? like after surviving the tsunami i promised myself to never allow gratitude to leave my heart, but i need remindesr sometimes
I have even a few texts i wrote to myself that i like to reread to remind myself of things.
so what about you ? what do you do to find your balance ?
with so much love
shine on
cass
When I am in peace and relatively balanced I have a whole heap of strong positive beleifs about the importance of letting go of the things you cannot control, about cultivating a certain detachment, about keeping myself centered...
then comes stress of any sort, worries about your health, work... anything... and in a way it does not matter wehther it is a "good or valid reason" or not. what matters is taht suddenly i am off balance.
then I try to revive those shining theories I have but suddenly they irritate me because i am not in the realm of the mind, rather in a more animal realm...
like tonight -dang i am finding it hard to sleep
-I know the feeling of getting back on track and finding my balance again but i know there are many ways to reach that state again.
I used to count a lot on others to help in that glorious task, but the more I grow the less i beleive in it. I mainly expect from partner and friends to give me that love and safe feeling that i have time and space to be imbalanced and then get balanced again and it is OK by them.
so what do i do ?
quite often I meditate, or just take deep breaths. I certainly think back about the great lessons and events of my life and what i felt right after they occured and try to reconnect with this incredible energy. you know? like after surviving the tsunami i promised myself to never allow gratitude to leave my heart, but i need remindesr sometimes
I have even a few texts i wrote to myself that i like to reread to remind myself of things.
so what about you ? what do you do to find your balance ?
with so much love
shine on
cass
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
finding balance is not easy,
can you find balance if you are on your own?
im not usre, i look at narr as my balance, hopfully she sees me as teh same,
i think of her, and my unchanging ever growing love for her, and the depth and hardness of that love is what keeps my balance.
before it was much harder. i dont know, i think i covered, and made up for my lack of balance by over acting to all.
i still do, i have come out of some strong and week times, nothing like the tsunami, or the hurricane, but still hard times in my mind. (what little their is)
when icant sleep, or am upset, or stressed, i talk, to either myself, sophie, my friends,
i found a balance last year when i went to oz. that was bliss for me, loving caring people who i sated with, who showed my all kinds of love and caring and help when i needed it, even though they prob didnt know it.
im babbling, in short my rock is narr, and i hope she always will be
i love you lady.
finding balance is not easy,
can you find balance if you are on your own?
im not usre, i look at narr as my balance, hopfully she sees me as teh same,
i think of her, and my unchanging ever growing love for her, and the depth and hardness of that love is what keeps my balance.
before it was much harder. i dont know, i think i covered, and made up for my lack of balance by over acting to all.
i still do, i have come out of some strong and week times, nothing like the tsunami, or the hurricane, but still hard times in my mind. (what little their is)
when icant sleep, or am upset, or stressed, i talk, to either myself, sophie, my friends,
i found a balance last year when i went to oz. that was bliss for me, loving caring people who i sated with, who showed my all kinds of love and caring and help when i needed it, even though they prob didnt know it.
im babbling, in short my rock is narr, and i hope she always will be
i love you lady.
Step (el-nombrie)
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
I take it the last sentence is for narr
I agree with you that a partner can be, a i said someone 's "home" or rock or whatever other image. but what i mean though is that the "job" of finding one s balance is one s own. noone can find my balance and peace for me, you know what i mean ?
also i disagree with you in the degree of importance of life lessons. natural disasters are teachers of life like losing a job, a friend can be, or any strong event, goood and bad. there is no hierarchy
shine on
cass
I take it the last sentence is for narr
I agree with you that a partner can be, a i said someone 's "home" or rock or whatever other image. but what i mean though is that the "job" of finding one s balance is one s own. noone can find my balance and peace for me, you know what i mean ?
also i disagree with you in the degree of importance of life lessons. natural disasters are teachers of life like losing a job, a friend can be, or any strong event, goood and bad. there is no hierarchy
shine on
cass
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
hmmm, not sure i agree, physical disasters are much more easy to relate to for all, a mental or emotional problem is very mush different to me.
its hard to say i understand the feelings felt and left from the tsunami, but its also harder to relate to lots of feelings from mental and emotional stress.
and vise versa, emotional happieness, is also much harder to relate to, like a child being born, im not a bady person, but valuras, and georges baby, i feel for, as i know they will be loved, and cared for.
however, finding a center, meditaion, and concentration.
do you also count when you need to find your center from when you are over excited, rather than when you are down?
hmmm, not sure i agree, physical disasters are much more easy to relate to for all, a mental or emotional problem is very mush different to me.
its hard to say i understand the feelings felt and left from the tsunami, but its also harder to relate to lots of feelings from mental and emotional stress.
and vise versa, emotional happieness, is also much harder to relate to, like a child being born, im not a bady person, but valuras, and georges baby, i feel for, as i know they will be loved, and cared for.
however, finding a center, meditaion, and concentration.
do you also count when you need to find your center from when you are over excited, rather than when you are down?
Step (el-nombrie)
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
very very good question....
well ultimately i think i do. not that being very happy or excited is a bad thing in itself, but being addicted to that feeling may be because then this feeling too passes and if i am too attached to it then i crave it and suffer...
do u know what i mean ?
very very good question....
well ultimately i think i do. not that being very happy or excited is a bad thing in itself, but being addicted to that feeling may be because then this feeling too passes and if i am too attached to it then i crave it and suffer...
do u know what i mean ?
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
yes, but i was also thinking that when we are very happy, we tend to not be true to who we really are, we may be more loud, or more over the top in our gestures, and actions, so finding a center then is required to make you who you are, not who you are being?
but i can understand being adicted to being happy, im not happy alot of the time, and i crave to be happy and content, so yes i know the feeling
yes, but i was also thinking that when we are very happy, we tend to not be true to who we really are, we may be more loud, or more over the top in our gestures, and actions, so finding a center then is required to make you who you are, not who you are being?
but i can understand being adicted to being happy, im not happy alot of the time, and i crave to be happy and content, so yes i know the feeling
Step (el-nombrie)
Oolering Man
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
I'm aiming for balance at the moment...... I guess it boils down to stripping away all the b*llocks and working out what really matters......... I tried living 'real' life and it really doesn't work for me........ it's not that I can't face the responsibility, or that I can't grow up, it just really doesn't work on any level, and it just left me miserable as sin for 2 and a half years. So, now I'm sat here working out what really matters........ and its going to take me a long while to answer that one.... but maybe the trick is that you never really know the answer to it. Mainly at the moment though, like you say, meditating alot, and I've also climed the world tree for the first time in a few years...... I've started writing music again (both ritual and for fun ) I've started doing alot of things that were 'mine' that I haven't really done.......... to coin a phrase 'don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone' so maybe you can only truly achieve that balance and find yourself, after you've lost everything
I'm aiming for balance at the moment...... I guess it boils down to stripping away all the b*llocks and working out what really matters......... I tried living 'real' life and it really doesn't work for me........ it's not that I can't face the responsibility, or that I can't grow up, it just really doesn't work on any level, and it just left me miserable as sin for 2 and a half years. So, now I'm sat here working out what really matters........ and its going to take me a long while to answer that one.... but maybe the trick is that you never really know the answer to it. Mainly at the moment though, like you say, meditating alot, and I've also climed the world tree for the first time in a few years...... I've started writing music again (both ritual and for fun
) I've started doing alot of things that were 'mine' that I haven't really done.......... to coin a phrase 'don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone' so maybe you can only truly achieve that balance and find yourself, after you've lost everything BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
find yourslef after losing everything, not sure if that applies in all situation, but i understand the logic.
same as how can you know what you can do if you have never been in a fight?
i think you are right, you cant find yourslef, you are there always, but you change and grow and move outside what people see you as, i wear many masks and disguises so people dont see the real me, its easy, and very simple to do, but finding myslef truly....scares me s**tless!
find yourslef after losing everything, not sure if that applies in all situation, but i understand the logic.
same as how can you know what you can do if you have never been in a fight?
i think you are right, you cant find yourslef, you are there always, but you change and grow and move outside what people see you as, i wear many masks and disguises so people dont see the real me, its easy, and very simple to do, but finding myslef truly....scares me s**tless!
Step (el-nombrie)
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK
Posted:
i buried the 'real' me a long time ago - i dont think he even exsists any more the new me is mainly a lot of gas..
not really pretensious (well i cant really judge) jst ot really there
i find my balance by loosing myself in something - atm its either poi or some art like that or tying celtic knots
i find after that most of whats going on is back in perspective
i buried the 'real' me a long time ago - i dont think he even exsists any more the new me is mainly a lot of gas..
not really pretensious (well i cant really judge) jst ot really there
i find my balance by loosing myself in something - atm its either poi or some art like that or tying celtic knots
i find after that most of whats going on is back in perspective
back
Oolering Man
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
yeah... I have to agree with you on that one for sure.... I wear many masks myself, I think most people do. and your also right that lossing yourslef isn't necesarrily a prerequistie of finding yourself, I guess that mainly about my situation now..... I mean sometimes you find yourself (even if its for the briefest instant) at the moment you find something or someone else
yeah... I have to agree with you on that one for sure.... I wear many masks myself, I think most people do. and your also right that lossing yourslef isn't necesarrily a prerequistie of finding yourself, I guess that mainly about my situation now..... I mean sometimes you find yourself (even if its for the briefest instant) at the moment you find something or someone else
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
lol
two people looking for themsleves, and finding eash other
(i have a mental image of two old ladies in a maize for some reason)
lol
two people looking for themsleves, and finding eash other
(i have a mental image of two old ladies in a maize for some reason)
Step (el-nombrie)
Oolering Man
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
I've known worse mental images.
I've known worse mental images.
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
come share my mind for a day, its cool but weird!
come share my mind for a day, its cool but weird!
Step (el-nombrie)
Oolering Man
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
be careful.... I might take you up on that offer - just ask cantus how bad that would be
be careful.... I might take you up on that offer - just ask cantus how bad that would be
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom
Posted:
you would have to have written premission from narr first!
my dirty mind is hers
you would have to have written premission from narr first!
my dirty mind is hers
Step (el-nombrie)
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
I can relate to that quite heavily tonight, as I've been feeling a bit of a mess on several levels for the past few weeks.
I think that, as much as we in the past may have come through something that really does put things in perspective and lead to a vow to not engage in negative ways of being from then on- the fact remains that there will always be times when misery descends again.
I deal with it be accepting that, in those times, I won't be feeling that peace, but nevertheless remembering that I did feel it, and, whatever's happening now, it's still real, even if I can't feel it.
I think that the more you truly understand what it is to be positive, and how that positivity leads to good, the more you can live in a positive way, without needing to feel positive all the time.
If I think about what it would be like to feel uplifted all the time; it actually seems a bit wierd, and I think that, by effectivly avoiding the necessity of having to keep yourself on the right track without the support of the 'right' state of mind (ie uplifted/at peace), you'd be missing out on something important.
Written by: Cassandra
When I am in peace and relatively balanced I have a whole heap of strong positive beleifs about the importance of letting go of the things you cannot control, about cultivating a certain detachment, about keeping myself centered...
then comes stress of any sort, worries about your health, work... anything... and in a way it does not matter wehther it is a "good or valid reason" or not. what matters is taht suddenly i am off balance.
then I try to revive those shining theories I have but suddenly they irritate me because i am not in the realm of the mind, rather in a more animal realm...
like tonight -dang i am finding it hard to sleep
I know the feeling of getting back on track and finding my balance again but i know there are many ways to reach that state again.
I used to count a lot on others to help in that glorious task, but the more I grow the less i beleive in it. I mainly expect from partner and friends to give me that love and safe feeling that i have time and space to be imbalanced and then get balanced again and it is OK by them.
so what do i do ?
quite often I meditate, or just take deep breaths. I certainly think back about the great lessons and events of my life and what i felt right after they occured and try to reconnect with this incredible energy. you know? like after surviving the tsunami i promised myself to never allow gratitude to leave my heart, but i need remindesr sometimes
I have even a few texts i wrote to myself that i like to reread to remind myself of things.
so what about you ? what do you do to find your balance ?
with so much love
shine on
cass
I can relate to that quite heavily tonight, as I've been feeling a bit of a mess on several levels for the past few weeks.
I think that, as much as we in the past may have come through something that really does put things in perspective and lead to a vow to not engage in negative ways of being from then on- the fact remains that there will always be times when misery descends again.
I deal with it be accepting that, in those times, I won't be feeling that peace, but nevertheless remembering that I did feel it, and, whatever's happening now, it's still real, even if I can't feel it.
I think that the more you truly understand what it is to be positive, and how that positivity leads to good, the more you can live in a positive way, without needing to feel positive all the time.
If I think about what it would be like to feel uplifted all the time; it actually seems a bit wierd, and I think that, by effectivly avoiding the necessity of having to keep yourself on the right track without the support of the 'right' state of mind (ie uplifted/at peace), you'd be missing out on something important.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
IMO, yes; in many ways it's easier to find balance during periods when you're on your own.
I feel that a lot of unhappiness in the west is a direct result of peoples fear of being on their own.
Written by: mech
finding balance is not easy,
can you find balance if you are on your own?
IMO, yes; in many ways it's easier to find balance during periods when you're on your own.
I feel that a lot of unhappiness in the west is a direct result of peoples fear of being on their own.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
I agree, I feel also a lot of imbalance and unhappiness is a result of thinking other people can fix our problems...
also about being uplifted all the time you are right t would be odd, and in a way we may not appreciate it anymore... life is rich and full of yin and yang and ups and downs... this is why to me balance is so important, so you can walk on the exciting rope of life and not fall over each time things are a bit shakey... do you know what i mean ?
shine on
cass
I agree, I feel also a lot of imbalance and unhappiness is a result of thinking other people can fix our problems...
also about being uplifted all the time you are right t would be odd, and in a way we may not appreciate it anymore... life is rich and full of yin and yang and ups and downs... this is why to me balance is so important, so you can walk on the exciting rope of life and not fall over each time things are a bit shakey... do you know what i mean ?
shine on
cass
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,492 posts
Location: .:*over the rainbow*:.
3,492 posts
Location: .:*over the rainbow*:.
Posted:
hmmm been thinking about this kinda stuff a lot lately...
there seems to have been a *lot* of yuckies flying around people's lives at the moment... mine included... and at times you wanna just press pause on the stuation... pick it all up and shuffle it abit and put it back down in the right place...
I've wanted to start focusing on the good... as I feel good energies attract more good energies... the same as bad attracts more of that too... and you can *choose* what you put your attention to... where you want to focus your energy.... some things surprise you and demand their attention... but it's all part of the journey... all lessons along the way....:* ....and things pass....
as far as finding my ballance alone? ... most sertainly yes... though i do feel support from others and have deffinately felt the benifit from loved ones support (Valura you helped me a lot!
) I find i can find my own ballance and self peace in my own space... I'm a pretty inward person and find it hard to open up to people, unless I trust them deeply... I feel I'm most in ballance when i'm on my own... clear minded... can think in my own thoughts... without being swayed by others opinions... though at times it is good to get an outside opionon.. coz sometimes you can be so inside a situation that you cannot see clearly...
and with the wearing of masks... i think everyone dose that to some extent... but are you sure the masks are not just different flavours of your own personality???... when you say you've buried yourself and wear many different masks... well are you sure it not just you, reacting to a sertain situation... Who exactly is the *real* you? why can't it be whoever the masked fellow is?
and Cassandra!!!! sweet angel princess!!! so good to see you posting your lovely words again! I've missed you!*:. love to you
*:.
hmmm been thinking about this kinda stuff a lot lately...
there seems to have been a *lot* of yuckies flying around people's lives at the moment... mine included... and at times you wanna just press pause on the stuation... pick it all up and shuffle it abit and put it back down in the right place...
I've wanted to start focusing on the good... as I feel good energies attract more good energies... the same as bad attracts more of that too... and you can *choose* what you put your attention to... where you want to focus your energy.... some things surprise you and demand their attention... but it's all part of the journey... all lessons along the way....:* ....and things pass....
as far as finding my ballance alone? ... most sertainly yes... though i do feel support from others and have deffinately felt the benifit from loved ones support (Valura you helped me a lot!
) I find i can find my own ballance and self peace in my own space... I'm a pretty inward person and find it hard to open up to people, unless I trust them deeply... I feel I'm most in ballance when i'm on my own... clear minded... can think in my own thoughts... without being swayed by others opinions... though at times it is good to get an outside opionon.. coz sometimes you can be so inside a situation that you cannot see clearly... and with the wearing of masks... i think everyone dose that to some extent... but are you sure the masks are not just different flavours of your own personality???... when you say you've buried yourself and wear many different masks... well are you sure it not just you, reacting to a sertain situation... Who exactly is the *real* you? why can't it be whoever the masked fellow is?
and Cassandra!!!! sweet angel princess!!! so good to see you posting your lovely words again! I've missed you!*:. love to you
*:. *:...one day all the fairy fridges will be aligned and my pixie world will be complete...:*
GOLD Member
Stream Entrant
2,829 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Stream Entrant
2,829 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted:
Hi Cass, I think I know what you mean. I did some work recently through the Landmark Forum, and there are ways to create new possibilities for ourselves. This usually involves unlocking special moments in out past that restrict us.
I have friends that have found insight through Buddhist meditation, like the Blue Mountains retreats. Though, if you can step out of your mind for a minute, then it’s hard to beat the words of Albert Einstein. That PsyRush kindly quoted recently.
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." Albert Einstein.
If that that doesn't help, then try skateboarding or take up surfing for balance
cheers
Hi Cass, I think I know what you mean. I did some work recently through the Landmark Forum, and there are ways to create new possibilities for ourselves. This usually involves unlocking special moments in out past that restrict us.
I have friends that have found insight through Buddhist meditation, like the Blue Mountains retreats. Though, if you can step out of your mind for a minute, then it’s hard to beat the words of Albert Einstein. That PsyRush kindly quoted recently.
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." Albert Einstein.
If that that doesn't help, then try skateboarding or take up surfing for balance
cheers
If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
Cass! Nice to hear from you, and especially on such a good subject....
I'm not quite sure what advice to offer, myself. For me, balance is tenuous at best... my life seems to throw a new curveball anytime i'm too close to having things sorted. The good news is I'm sort of learning to surf
What I have learned is when I'm unhappy I need to look around and see what needs changing. When I'm unhappy, it always seems to be for a reason, to let me know i'm not in the right situation... and once i know i'm going to be in thr right situation soon, it usually clears up.
But I wish i knew how to balance in those moment to moment situations where you start getting angry and it won't help, or you get hurt over a misunderstanding or something else silly.... taking deep breaths doesn't work. I get so wrapped up.... how do people bring themselves back to not being "in the moment" with their temper?
Cass! Nice to hear from you, and especially on such a good subject....
I'm not quite sure what advice to offer, myself. For me, balance is tenuous at best... my life seems to throw a new curveball anytime i'm too close to having things sorted. The good news is I'm sort of learning to surf
What I have learned is when I'm unhappy I need to look around and see what needs changing. When I'm unhappy, it always seems to be for a reason, to let me know i'm not in the right situation... and once i know i'm going to be in thr right situation soon, it usually clears up.
But I wish i knew how to balance in those moment to moment situations where you start getting angry and it won't help, or you get hurt over a misunderstanding or something else silly.... taking deep breaths doesn't work. I get so wrapped up.... how do people bring themselves back to not being "in the moment" with their temper?
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
This is soooooo true.
And when we rely on someone else to balance us out, not only is it creating an unhealthy dependancy but it is a tremendous burden or energy drain on that other person, whether they realize it or not. This can result in a cascade effect of imbalance, like dominoes.
Not only that but that other person most likely does not know exactly what it is that we need either. They can guess, assume and help...but in the end, only we know.
I learned this when I decided to take a 3 day trip across the country alone last year, and I had a *very* hard time with it.
Facing ourselves and our own thoughts is very difficult bu necessary.
And no one can be happy, chipper and perfectly in balance all the time.
What I learned is that I am most filled with peace through the elements (I am a *very* nature based person) and through creating.
So when I need balance I kind of assess the situation emotionally and go with my gut instinct.
Some days tell me to work with the plants and the dirt all day, or to spend time bonding with my animals. Some times it is to hole myself up with candles, a pen and paper and write furiously at 3am. Sometimes spending a day hiking and swimming will do it for me. Sometimes cooking...just because I want to, with no pressure and no menu and no one in mind is incredibly balancing. Sometimes dancing, especially with fans on high, to something low and rhythmic and earthy. Sometimes spending a day in a park sketching in the noon sun. There are so many things but the elements remain the same...there is something of the elements or nature involved, something creative and usually something active.
Each one of those gives me an outlet and a connection to something greater than myself and helps to keep me feeling more like me.
I think the most important part of that whole lesson for me is that my subconcious decides what it needs and I listen. I used to try to meditate because so many people said how amazing it is. I can't. My mind and my body both can't stand it and I end up feeling anxious. People have praised the power of taking a walk, but in a city setting I just end up feeling claustrophobic and icky.
Not all things work for all people and only we can decide what is a good balance for us personally, but I agree it shouldn't be someone else.
Besides, I think once you learn to be with yourself, it makes being with others much more enjoyable.
Lovely thread Angel!
Written by: onewheeldave
IMO, yes; in many ways it's easier to find balance during periods when you're on your own.
I feel that a lot of unhappiness in the west is a direct result of peoples fear of being on their own.
This is soooooo true.
And when we rely on someone else to balance us out, not only is it creating an unhealthy dependancy but it is a tremendous burden or energy drain on that other person, whether they realize it or not. This can result in a cascade effect of imbalance, like dominoes.
Not only that but that other person most likely does not know exactly what it is that we need either. They can guess, assume and help...but in the end, only we know.
I learned this when I decided to take a 3 day trip across the country alone last year, and I had a *very* hard time with it.
Facing ourselves and our own thoughts is very difficult bu necessary.
And no one can be happy, chipper and perfectly in balance all the time.
What I learned is that I am most filled with peace through the elements (I am a *very* nature based person) and through creating.
So when I need balance I kind of assess the situation emotionally and go with my gut instinct.
Some days tell me to work with the plants and the dirt all day, or to spend time bonding with my animals. Some times it is to hole myself up with candles, a pen and paper and write furiously at 3am. Sometimes spending a day hiking and swimming will do it for me. Sometimes cooking...just because I want to, with no pressure and no menu and no one in mind is incredibly balancing. Sometimes dancing, especially with fans on high, to something low and rhythmic and earthy. Sometimes spending a day in a park sketching in the noon sun. There are so many things but the elements remain the same...there is something of the elements or nature involved, something creative and usually something active.
Each one of those gives me an outlet and a connection to something greater than myself and helps to keep me feeling more like me.
I think the most important part of that whole lesson for me is that my subconcious decides what it needs and I listen. I used to try to meditate because so many people said how amazing it is. I can't. My mind and my body both can't stand it and I end up feeling anxious. People have praised the power of taking a walk, but in a city setting I just end up feeling claustrophobic and icky.
Not all things work for all people and only we can decide what is a good balance for us personally, but I agree it shouldn't be someone else.
Besides, I think once you learn to be with yourself, it makes being with others much more enjoyable.
Lovely thread Angel!
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Hey you gem of a woman!
I have to agree to a certain extent to this. I used to be a horrible mask wearer. If I was upset, I would pretend I wasn't. If I was angry, I would pretend I wasn't. If I was happy, well...I never knew it genuinely because I pretended so much that I really began to confuse myself.
And then I broke and the masks shattered.
To me that is what a mask is, pretending to be something other than what I am.
Now, if I have an emotion I show it and if I am in a mood I will not pretend otherwise. And while to many it may look like I have multiple personality syndrome, or am contradictory in personality, because of it, I don't care. Those are true facets to my personality and are other very real sides of me. In the immortal words of Shrek "I'm like an onion."
Written by: .:* Moon Pixie *:.
and with the wearing of masks... i think everyone dose that to some extent... but are you sure the masks are not just different flavours of your own personality???... when you say you've buried yourself and wear many different masks... well are you sure it not just you, reacting to a sertain situation... Who exactly is the *real* you? why can't it be whoever the masked fellow is?
Hey you gem of a woman!
I have to agree to a certain extent to this. I used to be a horrible mask wearer. If I was upset, I would pretend I wasn't. If I was angry, I would pretend I wasn't. If I was happy, well...I never knew it genuinely because I pretended so much that I really began to confuse myself.
And then I broke and the masks shattered.
To me that is what a mask is, pretending to be something other than what I am.
Now, if I have an emotion I show it and if I am in a mood I will not pretend otherwise. And while to many it may look like I have multiple personality syndrome, or am contradictory in personality, because of it, I don't care. Those are true facets to my personality and are other very real sides of me. In the immortal words of Shrek "I'm like an onion."
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
what a deep thread
sometimes I think I'm teetering on the knife edge of reality.
I can't show I'm upset because it's childish (apparently)
I can't show affection because it's creepy (apparently)
I can't show I'm really passionate about poi because I get too hyper when I talk about it (this I partially agree with lol)
All in all, my reality isn't how I'd like it.
Bring back my childhood where no-one made me act differently to what I am, or made me mask my feelings...
what a deep thread
sometimes I think I'm teetering on the knife edge of reality.
I can't show I'm upset because it's childish (apparently)
I can't show affection because it's creepy (apparently)
I can't show I'm really passionate about poi because I get too hyper when I talk about it (this I partially agree with lol)
All in all, my reality isn't how I'd like it.
Bring back my childhood where no-one made me act differently to what I am, or made me mask my feelings...
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
Oolering Man
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
I think, if you see the hole balance thing as a straight path, and when you walk it you tend to zig-zag all over it...... sometimes the zig-zags are very samll and close together, sometimes they're massive and far apart, if you consider your balanced when your walking on the path (albiet very briefly) I think it makes these moments more intense, and more worthwhile, than if you waleked straight down the path...... (did that make any sense or am I burbling again?)
I think, if you see the hole balance thing as a straight path, and when you walk it you tend to zig-zag all over it...... sometimes the zig-zags are very samll and close together, sometimes they're massive and far apart, if you consider your balanced when your walking on the path (albiet very briefly) I think it makes these moments more intense, and more worthwhile, than if you waleked straight down the path...... (did that make any sense or am I burbling again?)
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
so would you say balance is an illusion ?
what i mean by that is that maybe in the end peace comes with embracing both the balanced and the imbalanced moments with equal kindness towards ourselves ??
remeber the "SERENITY NOW" thing (was it in friends ?) sometimes i laugh at myself because i tend to do that and then i laugh with myself
humour may be a way to keep balanced. NOT cynicism which to me cuts wings, just humour... the capacity to put thigns in perspective you know ?
Tink L Pants, funny what you say about childhood, reminds about how many children are told from very early on to put on masks : dont cry, dont say this, laugh then etc ...
Stone, the Blue Mountain retreat is Vippassana meditation, the type i have been doing for a few years now. They also do it in Woory yallock near melbourne, really awesome place and energy...
so would you say balance is an illusion ?
what i mean by that is that maybe in the end peace comes with embracing both the balanced and the imbalanced moments with equal kindness towards ourselves ??
remeber the "SERENITY NOW" thing (was it in friends ?) sometimes i laugh at myself because i tend to do that and then i laugh with myself
humour may be a way to keep balanced. NOT cynicism which to me cuts wings, just humour... the capacity to put thigns in perspective you know ?
Tink L Pants, funny what you say about childhood, reminds about how many children are told from very early on to put on masks : dont cry, dont say this, laugh then etc ...
Stone, the Blue Mountain retreat is Vippassana meditation, the type i have been doing for a few years now. They also do it in Woory yallock near melbourne, really awesome place and energy...
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Balance is not any more of an illusion than anything else.
Non-Https Image Link
Miss you buddy.
Balance is not any more of an illusion than anything else.
Non-Https Image Link
Miss you buddy.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
the photo is quite remarkably speaking for itself (((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
the photo is quite remarkably speaking for itself
(((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))) "I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
SILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom
Posted:
I feel that I am currently in a phase of my life where everything is in balance (the major areas of my life and the lives of those around me), but it is more a balance spawned from indifference rather than serenity or karma.(which I did not till now know was possible) Can this kind of balance good?
I feel that I am currently in a phase of my life where everything is in balance (the major areas of my life and the lives of those around me), but it is more a balance spawned from indifference rather than serenity or karma.(which I did not till now know was possible) Can this kind of balance good?
"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer
BRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Posted:
when I'm off balance I try to spread my arms...or if that fails then I generally crawl (harder to fall over).....har-gulp gotcha!!!
when I'm off balance I try to spread my arms...or if that fails then I generally crawl (harder to fall over).....har-gulp gotcha!!!
A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada
Posted:
dance badly
or have a bath, which generally works for at least the length of time I am wet.
Have yet to try both simultaneously, saving that experience to get me through the rest of this stressful week!
dance badly
or have a bath, which generally works for at least the length of time I am wet.
Have yet to try both simultaneously, saving that experience to get me through the rest of this stressful week!
"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."
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