My stupid emotions - advice please

Probably gonna get deleted but oh, well, here goes:

I underwent my first session of hypnotherapy last night because I have serious security issues concerning my better half. I can't stop feeling paranoid or jealous because every guy she meets, fancies her and has to tell her so, and offer her their love. It's even close friends of mine from uni that I trust, that I introduce to her that do it. These are the ones that piss me off the most. I always get scared that one day she'll get a better offer than I can give her, and she'll be off. I know that she thinks an awful lot of me, and that the chances of it happening are very very slim, but still I get worried. I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's happened at least ten times since we've been together and it makes me so insecure that I try to push her away and hurt her before anything like that has a chance to happen to me. Thank the powers that be that I haven't managed to do it yet, and that she's so fantastic and strong that she sticks by me (god knows I don't deserve it after the way I've hurt her) But i just decided I'm getting sick of feeling so paranoid for no reason, and causing quite a bit of pain for the both of us.

Thankyou Georgina for being so amazing and having the patience for putting up with me. Words cannot express how wonderful I think you are.

I know she can't help being fantastic and beautiful, But why do other men not realise that when people are together, they are together and that's that? I wouldn't go trying to split people up because I had feelings for someone else's girlfriend. It's just not done. It's downright rude as well as makes me feel like complete sh!t.

Anyway...

My first session was last night. My mum's partner is a qualified hypnotherapist, So I get the treatment for free. It was the most amazing and yet freaky thing I have ever done!!

There I am, sitting in a chair, listening to him say things like 'your eyelids are getting heavy, and this is ok' and then he shows me a spot on his hand (proper David Blaine style) and before I know it, he's told me to close my eyes and that they're locked shut. I try to open them, but nothing. It's as if my entire body is paralysed, but I'm still in complete control of everything that is going on around me. He tells me to relax, and counts me down the 'stairs of relaxation', whereupon every step you go down, doubles your state of relaxation. By the time I get to the bottom, my body feels like a lead weight, and I feel so peaceful and calm.

He then took me on a 'trip to the cottage'. 'The Cottage' is an imaginary cottage in your head. you build up a picture of the most beautiful cottage you can imagine (mine was in Falmouth, for some reason) and the cottage is right on a cliff-edge. You walk into it and see that it's in a mess. there's crap lying everywhere, but this is no ordinary crap. What's lying around is all the emotions and experiences and indeed anything that you don't like about yourself, and you have to tidy up. I started off last night by ridding myself of quite a lot of jealousy that had built up in my mind, and a small bit of some other bad aspects of myself. I also managed to incorporate some of the urge to smoke in my rubbish. It felt so good. Once I had cleaned up a bit, I was told to 'tie a knot in the rubbish sack so that nothing could get out, take the sack to end of the picturesque garden, and throw it over the cliff'. Done. A weight off my shoulders.

Aftre that, he counted me out of the trance that I was in, saying 'when I get to the number five, you will be able to open your eyes'. 'one' he said. nothing. I tried to open my eyes early, but couldn't. 'Two'. same thing happened. 'three, four' again no response from me. 'Five' I opened my eyes and was wide awake, and still fully aware of what had been happening.

Does anyone else go through these emotions concerning their partners? Or am I just weird? How does everyone else deal with them? Can you give me any tips? Has anyone else broken up with people for reasons they later found out to be crap?

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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