Forums > Social Chat > Out of complete boredom....
Login/Join to ParticipateGOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
I want to try to get a thread ot reach 10 thousand posts.
Come on in, be as silly as you want, and hope the mods dont kick your butt.
Let the festivities begin, or fizzle, as the case may be.
I want to try to get a thread ot reach 10 thousand posts.
Come on in, be as silly as you want, and hope the mods dont kick your butt.
Let the festivities begin, or fizzle, as the case may be.
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
strange/r/st/-ish
142 posts
Location: upside down
142 posts
Location: upside down
Posted:
2
any bets this thread getting past the first page?
2
any bets this thread getting past the first page?
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
probably not, but its worth a try, isnt it?
probably not, but its worth a try, isnt it?
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
Pooh-Bah
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
Posted:
i read this on the door of the 2nd cubicle in the girls loos at 1001. Just thought it was nice really.
there's some good stuff in there - i'd advise anyone to go take a look!
i read this on the door of the 2nd cubicle in the girls loos at 1001. Just thought it was nice really.
Quote:
We are here alone, dancing together in this place where all is not lost, but moving.
there's some good stuff in there - i'd advise anyone to go take a look!
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
member
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
Posted:
I didnt even know that 1001 cafe place was even there untill last nite. Nice place if I do say so myself. The loos reminded me of my school days with all the writing and tags on the walls.....
I didnt even know that 1001 cafe place was even there untill last nite. Nice place if I do say so myself. The loos reminded me of my school days with all the writing and tags on the walls.....
Cant Sleep Or The Clowns Will Get Me!!!!
member
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
Posted:
As sent to me by e-mail.........
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are ''the
rules'' from the male side. These are the rules:- THEY ARE ALL THE
ONE GOLDEN RULE.......
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to here
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. -- Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Dont know about every1 else.... but it sure made me chuckle..
As sent to me by e-mail.........
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are ''the
rules'' from the male side. These are the rules:- THEY ARE ALL THE
ONE GOLDEN RULE.......
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to here
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. -- Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Dont know about every1 else.... but it sure made me chuckle..
Cant Sleep Or The Clowns Will Get Me!!!!
member
2 posts
2 posts
Posted:
12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
member
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
Posted:
Very good Oscar
Very good Oscar
Cant Sleep Or The Clowns Will Get Me!!!!
Sponge
883 posts
Location: Stevenage
883 posts
Location: Stevenage
Posted:
Out of complete boredom arose the fungated monkees, they oo'ed and aa'ed at ease,
The red planet bob reached for the door knob,
And opened a can full of worms.
There was an old lady called Sally,
Who ate all the food in the Galley,
The skipper pulled someone called Larry,
And they all joined in when they marry -ed
*Shrug* I tried
Out of complete boredom arose the fungated monkees, they oo'ed and aa'ed at ease,
The red planet bob reached for the door knob,
And opened a can full of worms.
There was an old lady called Sally,
Who ate all the food in the Galley,
The skipper pulled someone called Larry,
And they all joined in when they marry -ed
*Shrug* I tried
Monkeys monkeys and bananas
BRONZE Member
member
117 posts
Location: salisbury wiltshire, United Kingdom
member
117 posts
Location: salisbury wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
yeh this is a good idea but what happends to the person with 1000th post, also, i wanna write all the female versions of that list cause well it should be done!
yeh this is a good idea but what happends to the person with 1000th post, also, i wanna write all the female versions of that list cause well it should be done!
Hold my breath when you are near
so i don't have to breath you in
look away before i start to endorse
your eyes full of hate and remorse
in to the eye of another
be the silence that screams
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
you're better off attempting to boost up an older thread that's close to it.
you're better off attempting to boost up an older thread that's close to it.
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
member
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
75 posts
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town called Ruislip....
Posted:
I agree with you there Grace. Us females have rules too!!.
I agree with you there Grace. Us females have rules too!!.
Cant Sleep Or The Clowns Will Get Me!!!!
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
yeah, i try doing that with your intro, but half the time it wont open. gives me this:
Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded in D:\inetpub\wwwroot\homeofpoi\ubbthreads\mysql.inc.php on line 105
yeah, i try doing that with your intro, but half the time it wont open. gives me this:
Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded in D:\inetpub\wwwroot\homeofpoi\ubbthreads\mysql.inc.php on line 105
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
Posted:
thats cos you are trying to show to many posts on screen at same time you have to move up the posts in sections
thats cos you are trying to show to many posts on screen at same time you have to move up the posts in sections
before i met those lot i thought they'd be a bunch of dreadlocked hippies that smoked, set things on fire ,and drank a lot of tea but then when i met them....oh wait (PyroWill)
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
Posted:
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH !!
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH !!
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
before i met those lot i thought they'd be a bunch of dreadlocked hippies that smoked, set things on fire ,and drank a lot of tea but then when i met them....oh wait (PyroWill)
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
Posted:
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea.."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and The Fool's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
14 Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.”
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea.."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and The Fool's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
14 Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.”
before i met those lot i thought they'd be a bunch of dreadlocked hippies that smoked, set things on fire ,and drank a lot of tea but then when i met them....oh wait (PyroWill)
member
56 posts
Location: the birdhouse in your soul
56 posts
Location: the birdhouse in your soul
Posted:
I heard that Bob Vila was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Bob Vila made spoons out of the whole town.
I heard that Bob Vila was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Bob Vila made spoons out of the whole town.
Hey, I'M the BEE!
member
56 posts
Location: the birdhouse in your soul
56 posts
Location: the birdhouse in your soul
Posted:
https://ebonyglider.envy.nu/thebee/thebee.html
This guy will make you unbored in like, 42 nanoseconds. Maybe even less than that.
https://ebonyglider.envy.nu/thebee/thebee.html
This guy will make you unbored in like, 42 nanoseconds. Maybe even less than that.
Hey, I'M the BEE!
Yes, as a matter of fact, i do use fire poi. Why do you ask?
104 posts
Location: inside your head
104 posts
Location: inside your head
Posted:
oy
oy
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--------------------------------------------------------
HEY, I COULD SPIN THAT!
Yes, as a matter of fact, i do use fire poi. Why do you ask?
104 posts
Location: inside your head
104 posts
Location: inside your head
Posted:
this....
this....
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--------------------------------------------------------
HEY, I COULD SPIN THAT!
Yes, as a matter of fact, i do use fire poi. Why do you ask?
104 posts
Location: inside your head
104 posts
Location: inside your head
Posted:
is as long as this
this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this
is as long as this
this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and this this and this and this and thisthis and this and this and thisthis and this and this and this this and this and this and this
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--------------------------------------------------------
HEY, I COULD SPIN THAT!
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
indeed, indeed it is.
I suppose that opened the floodgates for silliness.
indeed, indeed it is.
I suppose that opened the floodgates for silliness.
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
SILVER Member
A perth girl gone walkabout...
396 posts
Location: Back home in Perth WA, Australia
A perth girl gone walkabout...
396 posts
Location: Back home in Perth WA, Australia
Posted:
Aint nothing wrong with Silliness! The more silliness the better! Bring it on!
Aint nothing wrong with Silliness! The more silliness the better! Bring it on!
I smile because i have no idea whats going on!! 
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect
any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
( SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six"
in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides
that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is
ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect
any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
( SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six"
in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides
that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is
ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Donkey Raffle
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny says, "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer, " You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.
Donkey Raffle
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny says, "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer, " You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
IM GOING TO GERMANY AGAIN!
*evil laugh*
IM GOING TO GERMANY AGAIN!
*evil laugh*
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
i feel dizzy.
a bit like:
only without the smile
i feel dizzy.
a bit like:
only without the smile i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
thats why you dont drink yourself silly, and get hungover. naughty dragon
thats why you dont drink yourself silly, and get hungover. naughty dragon
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
i didnt drink myself silly!
i just...hadnt...eaten...since...lunch.....damn.
i didnt drink myself silly!
i just...hadnt...eaten...since...lunch.....damn.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
well, at least you'd eaten that day.
Worst i've been is after a mate of mine's funeral - at that all morning, didnt eat much at lunch (couple of those little pies), and went through nearly a bottle of boubon that night. not a pretty sight the next morning, i can tell you.
well, at least you'd eaten that day.
Worst i've been is after a mate of mine's funeral - at that all morning, didnt eat much at lunch (couple of those little pies), and went through nearly a bottle of boubon that night. not a pretty sight the next morning, i can tell you.
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
go here and enter trhe gallery, then special events then corruption of the juggling monkey...
got posted a loong time ago but time for a renewal methinks.
incidentally the monkey has now retired and lives on a farm with his wife and three children, and is completely teetotal.
R
go here and enter trhe gallery, then special events then corruption of the juggling monkey...
got posted a loong time ago but time for a renewal methinks.
incidentally the monkey has now retired and lives on a farm with his wife and three children, and is completely teetotal.
R
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
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