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audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
I have been going to my local weekly fire gathering for months now and have taken it upon myself to keep it posted on the internet to get more people to come. Currently we get about 30-40 people every week and sometimes more. Not all twirlers as there are drummers and friends as well. I find it's better to have more people around (within reason) as it's more fun, people learn and share more as there is a diversity of styles and it's just great to watch twirling as well as do, right?But my issue here today is that I actually have problems convincing people to come along and twirl. Some who are quite good. Now I know that sometimes a twirler may not be in the mood to twirl with other people. But I ask, why never twirl in front of more a few people? I understand that some people are sensitive to the public gaze and suffer stage fright. But our meeting for one involves more just getting up and twirling in a HUGE space sometimes many at a time and with plenty of twirlers to help with learning new stuff. If someone is new and thinks they're "shit" it's the perfect place to get better as the more experienced have been there and know the feeling. A fire gathering is the most supportive crowd to "come out" in front of.Not to mention the vast possibilities of picking up new ideas/moves, progressing styles, getting advice on materials and the best website wink Surely these people must realise that getting together with like-mindeds is going to be better than smacking yourself in the head in the privacy of your own coccoon. These reluctant people are missing out on their best resource because of a little shyness (I guess?). If you've ever performed in front of a large vocal non-twirler crowd you may know what a bad or indifferent response can feel like (in no way exclusive to fire performance) but a fire gathering is a very different environment to be in.On a good day this reluctant attitude saddens me a little. On a grumpy day if someone says they don't want to twirl in front of people who know what they're doing, it makes me feel crap about my own twirling.I think that this reluctance is a stage that some people go through that they may eventually get over. A part of life in general. But practically everyone who comes to gatherings say (sometimes with surprise) how great it was and how much better they feel about their twirling through the progress they've made.So why is it so hard to convince some people? I note that in the current survey, a fair proportion of voters say that they have never twirled in front of others or prefer to be solo. Can these people shed some light as to why otherwise confident rational people won't meet me in the park at night?------------------Your parents were wrongFire is good Play with fire

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
Hmmm. Maybe one of the big reasons may be shyness, and there's infinite degrees and variances to it. Have you ever really suffered from shyness or lack of self esteem? If not you won't know, and if you have, think back to what it was like. It's hard.A new situation for some people is a challenge. Especially when you're doing something which other people are going to judge you on.Personally I can never really relax properly in front of a group of twirlers. Strangers, fine, I'll put on a show. But a fellow twirler is going to be analysing your moves and that's a frightening prospect. Hassling such reluctant people can do more harm than good.And some people just won't feel at home in that scene. Different people.

PeleBRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA


Posted:
I am extremely shy at first.I am not at all confident in my abilities, even after a couple of years.I have the midset that people who know me on this board think I am better than I am and that makes it uneasy for me, because a pre-judgement is being passed that I don't think I can live up to.I am a professional performer. I am not comfortable spinning in a casual situation in front of alot of people. I need to have something to focus on outside the fire and when it is *me*, not my show character, spinning I feel more naked and self aware in my spinning, I look outside the fire and see strangers and think I am being judged. Not only are they strangers, they are fire people. This makes me nervous and I mess up.I have gone to gatherings. I spun quietly in the back and was reprimanded for it a few times because I did things knowing they wouldn't take photo's because they didn't notice me. I spun sporadically in a field in New Hampshire with some fire friends, but did not do well as I was so nervous. In NYC I did more eating and breathing, though I did do some doubles spinning because my focus was one person I felt very comfortable with and that was fun.There is a huge difference between performing and simply spinning for me. There is a huge and I am told very noticible difference between "Pele" and "Lynnie". "Lynnie" simply spins for me. "Pele" performs for others. It is a transformation I undergo and the two do not meld easily for me. Until I feel very comfortable, gatherings tend to force that melding. In the end, I will watch until I get courageous enough to spin. I have to travel great distances for a gathering so, usually it is enough for me to watch and hang out anyway.But that is just multiple personalitied my case. wink------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
I have always been illegally extroverted - to the point of streaking public events! I try to twirl in front of any many people as possible as many times as possible. Thanks to the advent of 3 piece staves, I am usually only a few metres from them - always!To go to more twirl sessions I often have to coax some twirlers to join in a twirl sesh. In the case of the weekly sessions, the best persuasion is to get them to go at least one good, supportive crowd. Whether the crowd are twirlers or slack-jawed yokels makes no diff. You have to prove to them just how addictive twirling families can be. Only with frequent friendly sessions like these do twirlers cross-pollinate their styles, tricks n transitions.Better than any video.'cept for midget porn though.midget porn rocks!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


Kinudin (Soul Fyre)veteran
1,325 posts
Location: San Diego, California, USA


Posted:
I'd go if there were any gatherings in San Diego around where I live...

RoziSILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
Can't help with the San Diego bit frownMe, I am on the wrong side of Sydney to really meet up with many. I have to drive to Newtown, Glebe & Manly. It gets a little difficult to persuade yourself to do that instead of having a solitary spin.But I know I have to meet up with some others, cos the stuff I know is getting somewhat limited. I need some ideas & interaction.But I will be in Melb in the coming months, & in BrisVegas at the end of March, so you never, never know... R.[This message has been edited by Rozi (edited 06 March 2002).]

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


FrenzieBRONZE Member
member
515 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
Rozi - check the events and gathering forums, there used to be a bunch of people that met up around carlingford on a tuesday or thursday or something, nhot sure if its still happening either... but its worth a search!

- Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate -


FrenzieBRONZE Member
member
515 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
https://www.homeofpoi.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001571.htmlis
a thread of sydney gatherings and has an email for the people in north rocks/carlingford area.

- Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate -


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
do you guys get told off for firetwirling in the street? when there's grass, we only get marching orders if there's too much noise ie. drumming, elephants, flatulance."I'll come as fireand burn all the liars,leave a blanket of ashon the ground"

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
I simply have too much to write in response here so my summary goes:I feel that gatherings are an awesome thing that are fun, sociable events that allow people to expand their appreciation of their art, through learning and teaching new stuff and refining their technique.I feel anyone who participates in these arts can gain something from a gathering. The "best in the world" can gain satisfaction from teaching others and furthering the art.Twirling is in my opinion one of the very best ways of overcoming insecurities and opening up to like-minded people.Twirlers aren't that nasty a bunch of people that you would avoid them.I appreciate that there will always be people with difficulties over shyness. Even people who are gregarious in social life but lack confidence to "perform" near others. And I appreciate that some people just don't like gatherings. But what I really want to know is how do I convince someone with doubts that it will be OK and how do I reassure them when at at the gathering?------------------Your parents were wrongFire is good Play with fire

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
I was beginning to think that I'm more extroverted than most people, but I know that to be not true. But I think I may have worked out why I'm not shy about twirling in front of others.When I first began, I was living in a camping ground, so all the first moves I learned were all in full view of the public. It's only occurred to me that a lot of people learn in the privacy of their own home, something I didn't have to start off with. For me the first 2.5 months twirling were all public. I assume this is rather different to many of you

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
How to persuade people to come? Be gentle. Let them know that coming and watching/chatting is all that's required and they don't have to spin. Maybe.

Firefairymember
115 posts
Location: UK


Posted:
Personally I usually wouldnt go to a big event where everyone knew each other as there always seems to be a click (not necessarily negative but it makes me a bit paranoid - 'am i intruding?', 'will they think im a big head if i am confident' blah blah blah'. i know that it is in my head but, unless im feeling particularly confident those voices take over. The best way to get people to come to something like that is to make them very welcome, go out of your way to make them feel like you want them there. A big smile and alot of thought. smile[This message has been edited by Firefairy (edited 09 March 2002).]

dulce flamesmember
234 posts
Location: Oceanside, California USA


Posted:
Kinudin... I live in Oceanside and am new to the fire community.... What do you think teh chances of creating a group would be? I used to hear about Blacks beach for drumming, and wonder if they ever spin there? Maybe one day we'd be able to put something together?? I'd go. smile

maeonmember
40 posts
Location: brisbane, queensland, australia?


Posted:
I've just spent some dollars on photocopying flyers for our weekly gathering to draw more people along. For us, we've found the biggest problem in getting people to come is distance (50min train ride from the city) and the Sunday night work on Monday factor. Having said that, our numbers have increased, but mainly through word of mouth, and the fact that the local highschools have no school on Mondays. In an attempt to get more people out, we set up "super group" dates, one a month, for all our occasional visitors to come out on ...the first is March 17, so I'll let you know how it goes.Gatherings ...why not go? In Brisbane, there is a gathering nearly every day of the week. I wouldn't want to go firetwirling every night. They are mostly in the city, which is a fair drive, and I have the weeknights work next day factor. But the main reason I don't go is the drugs factor. Nothing is worse than turning up to something that has been advertised as a firetwirling gathering to find that is really just a smoking pot and getting drunk gathering. So I usually stick to gatherings that have been promoted as "drug and alcohol free" ...because that is the environment I feel comfortable twirling in.maeon

Where in the world is the island I'm on?


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
Thanks everyone, this is all good to read.Cliques are awful for shy people to deal with. We've had situations with other groups showing up then behaving cliquey, thus alienating all the others who've made the effort to come.In any social situation it's possible for someone to see a clique. We're lucky in that everyone knows almost everyone and even a lot of new people may know someone, so that's good. We use the barbeque every Monday too so feeding people is a good ice-breaker.I like the idea of letting people know they don't have to spin, I'll use that thanks.

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


claremember
82 posts
Location: Perf, australia


Posted:
its just scary knowing there's a whole bunch of other people who do know each other already, and not knowing their skill levels at all. and playing with fire in the dark isnt THE easiest way to get to know people, the situation doesnt lend itself to introductions generally.but it does rock. i hate twirling by myself, coz people might watch me then. anonymity in numbers. good stuff. and seeing people i havent seen in ages. its always a surprise wholl turn up, when you know non-twirlers will be there too.

Bendymember
750 posts
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia


Posted:
Yeah cliques can be daunting. You need to remember that you don't have to fit right into the tight group, but start on the edges and the circle will open slowly.We played with a thought at one of our nights a while back. Someone mentioned Fight Club. These are modified Fight Club rules:You do talk about The Gathering. You DO talk about The Gathering. When someone says "HELP!" or catches alight, the burn is over. winkNo synthetics, no dangerous fuels. Burns go on as long as they have to.If this is your first night at The Gathering, you have to twirl.This last rule could help some people overcome shyness, and the others have to follow suit - it's in the rules wink------------------Where's the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?[This message has been edited by Bendy (edited 13 March 2002).]

Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut


DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
Bendy, you're not shy are you?

CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,967 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
What was your first clue Dom?

Meh


Bendymember
750 posts
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia


Posted:
I have no idea if that was a serious question Dom! But anyways, I used to be really shy.That all changed when I met my best mate in high school. I just realised that I honestly on't care what most people think of me. If they have a different opinion - so what. I have done tests and come out as both introverted and extroverted. I think I fit both in different ways.Extroversion is not necessarily the typical outgoing stereotype, and not all introverts are quiet and sit in the corner. I think it is based on where you get your energy from.Sometimes I like being the centre of attention (it's cool to have your name in a thread title smile) and sometimes I like to be alone. I like big parties and I like small groups of friends. I can keep myself entertained for ages without anything to play with but myself... not being grotty! Double-jointedness can be entertaining! tongueSo although I don't think I am shy, I sometimes prefer to not mix it up with a big group.

Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut


CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,967 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
I used to be shy. Up until about a year ago. I think maybe HOP cured me. Made me realise that people are actually interested in what i have to say. Unfortunately it does mean that now people think i know what i'm talking about tongue wink

Meh


DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
It was half serious. Your answer kinda fits me as well, but I'm not that extroverted. Compared to how I was a decade ago I'm a lot better. My point was vaguely that not all shy people respond well to pressure, even friendly pressure.I used to be shy, now I'm just paranoid wink

Bendymember
750 posts
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia


Posted:
Dom - True dat about the pressure.I think in most cases people are nervous about twirling amongst new people because they are worried what the others will think of them. The truth is that the twirlers I have met (and many/most on this site that I haven't met) are all very understanding people and know that so long as you are safe and having fun, it doesn't really matter what level you are at.

Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut


fluffy napalm fairyCarpal \'Tunnel
3,638 posts
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land


Posted:
I wouldn't say i'm shy, even when spinning in front of others (though i haven't spun with more than a few other poi-people) - but I do get nervous and bodge loads. I don't mind though as it usually acts as a great ice-breaker. smile Before I learned to laugh at myself I was paranoid that others would judge me - but now I know that although nobody's going to be wowed by my not-so-talented spinning neither will they think any worse of me if I do mess up / if I'm generally crap. grin so you see....it's all good smile[This message has been edited by Ros (edited 14 March 2002).]

Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
To the shy people who prefer to sit and watch than to twirl: Do you think that you are contributing to other shy people's anxieties by simply adding another pair of eyes to the audience that will judge them if they get up?

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
...maybe not then
it's quiet in here?!

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


audaxBRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia


Posted:
Rain! That's why not.
Stuff this, I'm going up north for the winter dry season.

UYI wink OLDSKOOL


RoziSILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia


Posted:
Hi Audax!!!

Would love to come over to WA sometime. My past trip there was many years ago when I was a nipper, & I only got to see Perth.

As to the shyness thing. I usually practice on my own, but have actually found that I am getting worse & more oncoordinated as time goes by. & so I have started to go to gatherings to make my embarassment public . Actually, it is to pick up tips. Although it is pretty scary. I feel like a kid again, wondering if the cool kids will let me play, & whether they will laugh if I trip up. It is a big hurdle. & having people watch makes it even tougher.

But once you overcome that hurdle, it can be nice. Last week, I hooked up with a friend & we went to practice. There were other people there, but neither of us were gutsy enough to go over & join them. I know they found it quite puzzling, because they were obviously regulars. But I really just wanted to practice & stuff up on my own time, at first. Esp cos it was my first burn with my poi.

Afterward, I wandered over & said hello. They are lovely people and I will certainly be there with them next week.

But, scary, yes. Audience? Twice as scary...

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


catboymember
167 posts
Location: leicester, england


Posted:
most scary poi related experience so far....

i dont know what happened, but for some bizzare reason i accepted an invitation up to nottingham on a freezing cold and wet night to twirl with thistle and her friends...
i would normally politely decline through embarasement (being a stupid introvert) or find someone else better than me (this is not just poi related, its everything) to go with and hide beheind their skill! however I must have been on a confidence trip as I went on my own; i felt cold and wet for about 3-days afterwards, but that was the hostile northern weather!... ...the people were wicked and Im gutted i only made it up there once since... ...hopefully see some of them on the 18th

you can take the cat out of the jungle, but you cant take the jungle out of the cat


DarkFairyQueenmember
557 posts
Location: The Underworld


Posted:
Howdy Ya'll

I know this iz an old thread, and my input will probably be ignored, but after reading the whole backlogg, me had 2 say sumfin'...

Thinkin back 2 my begginner dayz, I, like audax started spinning in public. A friend of mine brought me to Jugglers and lent me her spare poi. Addmittedly, twas all a little daunting at first. but the more I went back, the more I realized how wonderful most spinners are.
All this talk of people judging, I'm sure it DOES go on , but most gather simply to learn from eachother.
It took me several months to feel like I was PART of the group/gang(wotever), but thats kind of part of it. It makes me feel all squishy inside when I look at how far I've come, and the friendships I've built because of my patience, persistance and passion (ooh,i like dat,da 3 P's!)
which brings me to another point which has, as far as I can see, bin overlooked -

My boyriend's a DJ, which means I've got lots of luvly music-producing machines ie- decs etc.. around the house. I'd love to be a DJ, and I could have been a pro by now, but never has there been a tym when my interest in learning to 'spin' has held long enough 4 me 2 actually learn anything.
I guess I just don't have that passion for it. Tis so much easier to apply oneself to something if you really enjoy it.
Anyway, wot I'm really trying to say, in my usual, uneccesarilly long-winded way,
iz dat spinnin iz all good, but it spins sum people out, SO LEAVE THEM ALONE!!

Az abouve, So below...


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