Random Neural Misfirings

Hey there everyone!

I wanted to let everyone who has emailed me know that I haven't been putting you off, I have been trying to figure out how to piece my life back together since my accident. Finally after a month of out of hospital recovery I have been okay'd to return to a semi-normal life, just not overly active for the next few months, which those who
know me know this will be difficult. In my time in the hospital I lost my home, my job and owed $27 to someone who didn't know what happened so the person tried to have me arrested for it.

While life is still beautiful, it is hard (was it ever meant to be easy?). Things are slowly working themselves out. My health is getting better and I am moving on, literally and figuratively.

In all of this I have been very contemplative. I have wondered if performing is something I should continue to do. I have lost a few members of my crew due to lack of support since the accident. I have been asked to help create a Ren Faire for 2004, to manage a fellow performers career and write skits for another performer. I have been wondering if I should, or if I am misleading these people into a shaky and difficult exsistance.
I have debated not spinning anymore lately. I think it is more fear that I have lost what semblence of skill I had over the past 10 or so weeks. I want to feel the resistance of the air, the smoothness of the handles, the flow of the motion but when I go to pick them up something clicks and I end up writing.

Then I was out with PWB while he was getting his hair cut and reading an article about picking up after being knocked on your arse and starting over. I wonder if I would be starting over or just starting from a more educated position. It's amazing how little gems of wisdom show up right when you need them.

And then I think of the many of you I have come to
know over the past few years, and how without
performing I would've never had that chance. I think of, though sometimes distant, how I enjoy what togetherness we have shared.
My doubts and questions will most likely continue but I do not see how I could turn away from a world that has taught me so much about myself, and others. A world that has brought remarkable people into my life, joy abound and memories that will last a lifetime.

I guess I just needed to babble things out. Thanks for your support, patience, love and understanding.

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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