Forums > Social Discussion > texting vs talking: creating a more distant society?'
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I've been reading lately about how people, mostly behavioural scientists in their 40's, are concerned that the technological mediums we choose to communicate through is breeding a more emotionally distant society.
They are saying that communications through txt, chats, bb's, etc. are creating fewer bonds between humans, because people can hide behind screens. We are talking more and bonding less.
They are claiming that these tech relationships are interfering with our ability to make real life connections.
At the same time I know my son is talking with people around the world in text faster than I was able to with my pen pals when I was his age.
I know that there are people from this site that I care a tremendous amount for, and that are important in my life, without hindering my ability to connect in real life. That could be that because of my age, I bridge the two eras (watch the old jokes there people!
)
What do you think?
I've been reading lately about how people, mostly behavioural scientists in their 40's, are concerned that the technological mediums we choose to communicate through is breeding a more emotionally distant society.
They are saying that communications through txt, chats, bb's, etc. are creating fewer bonds between humans, because people can hide behind screens. We are talking more and bonding less.
They are claiming that these tech relationships are interfering with our ability to make real life connections.
At the same time I know my son is talking with people around the world in text faster than I was able to with my pen pals when I was his age.
I know that there are people from this site that I care a tremendous amount for, and that are important in my life, without hindering my ability to connect in real life. That could be that because of my age, I bridge the two eras (watch the old jokes there people!
)What do you think?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Well, I tend to have few close friends (online or off). In both cases because of being different. For example:
In meatspace there are not many people in South Africa who climb (my other big hobby). There are probably fewer who take poi (and more recently juggling) seriously. (I am probably one of the few people attempting to spin technically as close to the cutting edge as possible in South Africa right now.) As for my taste in reading and music, there are a few more, but still a relatively small group.
Online, in pretty much any international forum, I tend to be the only South African talking (I know that there are others here for example, but they lurk, whereas I try to get involved).
So whether I am keeping my distance consciously or not, I tend to be fairly distant from most people. I have a reasonably large number of people I greet when I see them, but hardly any that would invite me to a party at their place or that I would invite to one at mine. Close friends I can probably count on my fingers, and even then I tend to be slightly outside because of various other reasons (mostly to do with having failed a year so being behind a lot of people and ahead of many others and not really knowing those in my year very well) my relatively odd hobbies being one.
So I am not overly different in meatspace and cyberspace. Not really sure if this is actually anything close to what you are talking about, but it is 01:40 and I have been attempting to beat computers into submission, so I may not be making the most sense right now....
Well, I tend to have few close friends (online or off). In both cases because of being different. For example:
In meatspace there are not many people in South Africa who climb (my other big hobby). There are probably fewer who take poi (and more recently juggling) seriously. (I am probably one of the few people attempting to spin technically as close to the cutting edge as possible in South Africa right now.) As for my taste in reading and music, there are a few more, but still a relatively small group.
Online, in pretty much any international forum, I tend to be the only South African talking (I know that there are others here for example, but they lurk, whereas I try to get involved).
So whether I am keeping my distance consciously or not, I tend to be fairly distant from most people. I have a reasonably large number of people I greet when I see them, but hardly any that would invite me to a party at their place or that I would invite to one at mine. Close friends I can probably count on my fingers, and even then I tend to be slightly outside because of various other reasons (mostly to do with having failed a year so being behind a lot of people and ahead of many others and not really knowing those in my year very well) my relatively odd hobbies being one.
So I am not overly different in meatspace and cyberspace. Not really sure if this is actually anything close to what you are talking about, but it is 01:40 and I have been attempting to beat computers into submission, so I may not be making the most sense right now....
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
I've read a lot of newspaper articles about those findings as well.
My conclusion?
It's like parents and the generation gap with their kids, except worse because parents at least see the culture (of mobile phones, internet etc) daily and in context. Middle-aged academics on the other hand hide behind their studies and don't see the real culture except through observing academic eyes.
They don't understand it because they're removed from it both physically and because of the generation gap and therefore because they don't understand it and it's different to how they grow up they label it as bad.
I've read a lot of newspaper articles about those findings as well.
My conclusion?
It's like parents and the generation gap with their kids, except worse because parents at least see the culture (of mobile phones, internet etc) daily and in context. Middle-aged academics on the other hand hide behind their studies and don't see the real culture except through observing academic eyes.
They don't understand it because they're removed from it both physically and because of the generation gap and therefore because they don't understand it and it's different to how they grow up they label it as bad.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
stranger by the day
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
Posted:
personally I'd be inclined to say it close as makes no difference.
Being able to talk to people online on forums or through online games really boosted my confidence towards making the step to making 'meatspace' friends (I have gotta remember that term)
That and given several of my friends have a habit of being in a different country a lot of the time, sometimes completely randomly, it's easier to talk over msn than it is to meet up and talk face to face. Something is lost in the interaction, yeah, but without texting and so on, the interaction would be utterly non-existant
Edit oh yeah, and what Rouge said. ^^
EDITED_BY: Seaspray (1253751752)
personally I'd be inclined to say it close as makes no difference.
Being able to talk to people online on forums or through online games really boosted my confidence towards making the step to making 'meatspace' friends (I have gotta remember that term)
That and given several of my friends have a habit of being in a different country a lot of the time, sometimes completely randomly, it's easier to talk over msn than it is to meet up and talk face to face. Something is lost in the interaction, yeah, but without texting and so on, the interaction would be utterly non-existant
Edit oh yeah, and what Rouge said. ^^
EDITED_BY: Seaspray (1253751752)
Just a dancer in the dark
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
back in the days everything was much better
nowadays people don't just pass each other, saying "how do you do?" - not waiting for the reply - they only change their relationship status on Facebook to let everybody know they broke off 
They even commit suicide and let their ex watch on by webcam... crazy times...
People DO hide behind screens - especially in discussions. But people are also more likely to express what they are really thinking (in this very moment)... So it again has both sides - good and not-as-good.
Let it all hang out.
Back then everything was much better - the skies had little fluffy clouds... not like today, I mean real fluffy clouds.
Maybe we need to learn not to take everything so friggin personal all of the time. So a more distant society might also be a good development. At the same time you can make (instant) friends or stay connected with people from the other side of the planet - and completely ignore the person sitting next to you...
back in the days everything was much better
nowadays people don't just pass each other, saying "how do you do?" - not waiting for the reply - they only change their relationship status on Facebook to let everybody know they broke off
They even commit suicide and let their ex watch on by webcam... crazy times...People DO hide behind screens - especially in discussions. But people are also more likely to express what they are really thinking (in this very moment)... So it again has both sides - good and not-as-good.
Let it all hang out.
Back then everything was much better - the skies had little fluffy clouds... not like today, I mean real fluffy clouds.
Maybe we need to learn not to take everything so friggin personal all of the time. So a more distant society might also be a good development. At the same time you can make (instant) friends or stay connected with people from the other side of the planet - and completely ignore the person sitting next to you...
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Yes, but an online friendship is just as hard to maintain as one in meatspace. I do not feel that I have really good friends online, mostly because I rarely (never) get to meet them in the real world.
Yes, but an online friendship is just as hard to maintain as one in meatspace. I do not feel that I have really good friends online, mostly because I rarely (never) get to meet them in the real world.
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
BRONZE Member
nut.
756 posts
Location: Bouncing off the walls., England (UK)
nut.
756 posts
Location: Bouncing off the walls., England (UK)
Posted:
I'm not sure how connected it is, but I do remember reading an article a little while ago about suspicions that the same things- increased time spend on computers and less time spent actually talking and physically socialising, seemed to be having a knock on effect on kids.
Supposedly a bunch of long-term infant school teachers had had to re-write most of their entry level course stuff 'cos an increasing number of 4-year-olds were starting school basically not being able to speak more than a few words. It was claimed that it was because parents weren't talking as much.. No idea how true it is, but it does make you think, if written socialing becomes the norm for everyone, where does that leave people who can't/don't write?
Though personally, until they make online pubs which serve real beer, I doubt we're in real trouble.
I'm not sure how connected it is, but I do remember reading an article a little while ago about suspicions that the same things- increased time spend on computers and less time spent actually talking and physically socialising, seemed to be having a knock on effect on kids.
Supposedly a bunch of long-term infant school teachers had had to re-write most of their entry level course stuff 'cos an increasing number of 4-year-olds were starting school basically not being able to speak more than a few words. It was claimed that it was because parents weren't talking as much.. No idea how true it is, but it does make you think, if written socialing becomes the norm for everyone, where does that leave people who can't/don't write?
Though personally, until they make online pubs which serve real beer, I doubt we're in real trouble.
THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH!
If that's okay with you?
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
Originally Posted By: FireTomAt the same time you can make (instant) friends or stay connected with people from the other side of the planet - and completely ignore the person sitting next to you...
Or do what my best mate and I do: sit next to each other on the couch and talk on msn
Originally Posted By: FireTomAt the same time you can make (instant) friends or stay connected with people from the other side of the planet - and completely ignore the person sitting next to you...
Or do what my best mate and I do: sit next to each other on the couch and talk on msn
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
BRONZE Member
Juggler/Spinner
612 posts
Location: Hicksville, New York, USA
Juggler/Spinner
612 posts
Location: Hicksville, New York, USA
Posted:
I'd say my opinion on this is 70/30...
I think online sites, and texting helps to ease and quicken communication, where at the same time I do agree that it has taken some people and turned them into... well, anti-social isn't the right word, but I think it's almost as if some people no longer know how to handle real life situations.
On a side note, meatspace, awesome. heh.
On a SIDE side note, I know it's silly, but sometimes I miss the days before I owned a cell phone and a computer, although I have met many good friends over the internet.... Actually, if not for the internet, I probably never would have started juggling seriously, or spinning poi.
So maybe it's not a bad thing, people can become addicted to bbs, forums, online communities, but it does make meeting people, (when we choose to leave the safety :-) of our keyboards) alot easier.
I'd say my opinion on this is 70/30...
I think online sites, and texting helps to ease and quicken communication, where at the same time I do agree that it has taken some people and turned them into... well, anti-social isn't the right word, but I think it's almost as if some people no longer know how to handle real life situations.
On a side note, meatspace, awesome. heh.
On a SIDE side note, I know it's silly, but sometimes I miss the days before I owned a cell phone and a computer, although I have met many good friends over the internet.... Actually, if not for the internet, I probably never would have started juggling seriously, or spinning poi.
So maybe it's not a bad thing, people can become addicted to bbs, forums, online communities, but it does make meeting people, (when we choose to leave the safety :-) of our keyboards) alot easier.
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Originally Posted By: mamamaelisSupposedly a bunch of long-term infant school teachers had had to re-write most of their entry level course stuff 'cos an increasing number of 4-year-olds were starting school basically not being able to speak more than a few words
but they sure could complete an online order for Call-a-pizza in triple speed....
The verbal abilities (used) of parents definitely reflects on the capabilities of their children. That's just a fact (I'd guess...). So if the parents are not talking (but texting) the children will have no reference (and incentive) to learn (how) to talk.
RD: I once sat in a train compartment, reading a book. A bunch of Teenagers came in and they spent the next hour chatting - everybody on their cellphones with some mates.
It was so bizarre that I had to crack up hard and after I explained them why, we then engaged in a really nice conversation for the rest of the trip...
Originally Posted By: mamamaelisSupposedly a bunch of long-term infant school teachers had had to re-write most of their entry level course stuff 'cos an increasing number of 4-year-olds were starting school basically not being able to speak more than a few words
but they sure could complete an online order for Call-a-pizza in triple speed....
The verbal abilities (used) of parents definitely reflects on the capabilities of their children. That's just a fact (I'd guess...). So if the parents are not talking (but texting) the children will have no reference (and incentive) to learn (how) to talk.
RD: I once sat in a train compartment, reading a book. A bunch of Teenagers came in and they spent the next hour chatting - everybody on their cellphones with some mates.
It was so bizarre that I had to crack up hard and after I explained them why, we then engaged in a really nice conversation for the rest of the trip... the best smiles are the ones you lead to
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Interesting that meatspace seems to be unknown to people posting in here. I thought it fairly common.
That is another source of irritation to many: the differing dialect of technical jargon and such that is used by people who spend a lot of time online.
Interesting that meatspace seems to be unknown to people posting in here. I thought it fairly common.
That is another source of irritation to many: the differing dialect of technical jargon and such that is used by people who spend a lot of time online.
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Posted:
Pele, What have you been reading ?
I haven't gone all google on this topic and I'm no expert myself but on the surface, I find myself disagreeing with the behavioral scientists.
I'm sure we can all concoct extreme examples, like parents texting each other while their child sits there in silence, but scenarios like this are more driven by novelty ( like being new to the whole texting thing ) more than anything else.
IRL, I've only known one person whose spent their life "hiding behind a screen" and that guy had far more serious issues than could be "caused" by technology.
(aside)I've often wondered whether there's some sort of psychological condition where a person creates an online persona and develops some sort of condition where their inability to live up to that persona has "side effects"
Pele, What have you been reading ?
I haven't gone all google on this topic and I'm no expert myself but on the surface, I find myself disagreeing with the behavioral scientists.
I'm sure we can all concoct extreme examples, like parents texting each other while their child sits there in silence, but scenarios like this are more driven by novelty ( like being new to the whole texting thing ) more than anything else.
IRL, I've only known one person whose spent their life "hiding behind a screen" and that guy had far more serious issues than could be "caused" by technology.
(aside)I've often wondered whether there's some sort of psychological condition where a person creates an online persona and develops some sort of condition where their inability to live up to that persona has "side effects"
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Rougie: PWB and I do that all the time. It irritates his brother (who lives with us) to no end and makes us crack up giggling.
meshunderlay: in our circle of friends we've come to call that simply socially inept but we're having a hard time figuring out if those people we know who are would be any worse without technology.
hammelis: Well, that's scary. Odd and scary. I think when the kids start talking like the computerized characters in World of Warcraft we should really be scared.
Stout: an article on CNN.com as released originally by a clinical psychology magazine. It's also been brought up in teaching seminars.
I'm not sure where you are but Tom's example of teens all together and texting or on the cells with others isn't uncommon here at all. My son has a 15 yo girl he talks to 3000 miles away that he's never met but they shared 1000 texts last week alone. He met her in an Xbox Live game. (I monitor his communication, btw, so she is legit). My niece at an amusement park went on a ride, got off and started texting until the next ride started. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It's unreal. The worst punishment a parent can deal out these days is to take away a cell phone and a computer. It's like you've shot the kid.
Now, my son can hang with friends in meatspace and do just fine. We make him shut the phone off enough to make sure of it. My niece, well...somedays I wonder.
I overheard a parent in the grocery store taking a kids cell away for whatever reason. The kid, about 15, threatened to kill herself over it. That isn't right.
Here's another side of this, and I've seen it first hand with some of my friends and heard complaints from more than one of Noah's friends.
The parents, single parents who are lonely, go online and kill time, either in chat or on games. They also text so much my one friends daughter told me she wanted to chuck her dad's cell in the river. These parents talk with their kids and feed them, but that's it. Beyond that, the kids seem to not exist while a screen is up.
It's problematic enough that there are 12 step programs to help people get out of computer addictions, I don't see why texting wouldn't be far behind.
For the record, as I was typing this, my son texted me 5 times. I told him to knock it off and call me. Oi. Lol
Rougie: PWB and I do that all the time. It irritates his brother (who lives with us) to no end and makes us crack up giggling.
meshunderlay: in our circle of friends we've come to call that simply socially inept but we're having a hard time figuring out if those people we know who are would be any worse without technology.
hammelis: Well, that's scary. Odd and scary. I think when the kids start talking like the computerized characters in World of Warcraft we should really be scared.
Stout: an article on CNN.com as released originally by a clinical psychology magazine. It's also been brought up in teaching seminars.
I'm not sure where you are but Tom's example of teens all together and texting or on the cells with others isn't uncommon here at all. My son has a 15 yo girl he talks to 3000 miles away that he's never met but they shared 1000 texts last week alone. He met her in an Xbox Live game. (I monitor his communication, btw, so she is legit). My niece at an amusement park went on a ride, got off and started texting until the next ride started. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It's unreal. The worst punishment a parent can deal out these days is to take away a cell phone and a computer. It's like you've shot the kid.
Now, my son can hang with friends in meatspace and do just fine. We make him shut the phone off enough to make sure of it. My niece, well...somedays I wonder.
I overheard a parent in the grocery store taking a kids cell away for whatever reason. The kid, about 15, threatened to kill herself over it. That isn't right.
Here's another side of this, and I've seen it first hand with some of my friends and heard complaints from more than one of Noah's friends.
The parents, single parents who are lonely, go online and kill time, either in chat or on games. They also text so much my one friends daughter told me she wanted to chuck her dad's cell in the river. These parents talk with their kids and feed them, but that's it. Beyond that, the kids seem to not exist while a screen is up.
It's problematic enough that there are 12 step programs to help people get out of computer addictions, I don't see why texting wouldn't be far behind.
For the record, as I was typing this, my son texted me 5 times. I told him to knock it off and call me. Oi. Lol
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
stranger
10 posts
Location: Grand Haven, MI
10 posts
Location: Grand Haven, MI
Posted:
nature craves balance.
i find it ridiculous how, on a sunday when we get together for family dinner, my brother will send a text message to our mother instead of walking up twelve steps to ask if dinner is ready. or, how a couple can sit side by side and keep a technology assisted conversation going instead of using verbal speech.
on the opposite side, i appreciate how i can shoot a quick text to a friend or loved one just to say i care when a phone conversation would be impractical (ie during a busy work day or while in a waiting room at the doctor's office). or, my ability to keep in contact with friends around the country who keep different schedules thus making verbal conversation difficult.
if we as a society remember to work on face to face communication as often as we text/blog/email/ etc we should be just fine.
nature craves balance.
i find it ridiculous how, on a sunday when we get together for family dinner, my brother will send a text message to our mother instead of walking up twelve steps to ask if dinner is ready. or, how a couple can sit side by side and keep a technology assisted conversation going instead of using verbal speech.
on the opposite side, i appreciate how i can shoot a quick text to a friend or loved one just to say i care when a phone conversation would be impractical (ie during a busy work day or while in a waiting room at the doctor's office). or, my ability to keep in contact with friends around the country who keep different schedules thus making verbal conversation difficult.
if we as a society remember to work on face to face communication as often as we text/blog/email/ etc we should be just fine.
Be good or be good at it 
Raini
stranger by the day
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
Posted:
heh, to be honest using tech to communicate with upstairs would be a treat in our house.
It's hard to hear when people try and talk to you up through a floor
heh, to be honest using tech to communicate with upstairs would be a treat in our house.
It's hard to hear when people try and talk to you up through a floor
Just a dancer in the dark
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
new means of communication and its "availability" does change a society... anyone remembers how it's been "in the days before cellphones"...
we used to make appointments at specific places... and if in a busy environment we said "if you miss the time we go there every 20min's to pick you up"...
loved ones were not thinking: "wow s/he must have stopped loving me" just because there is no communication within 5 hrs.
at the same time, parents had no idea where their kids would be right now... yet not have to keep up with multi-billion phone bills - JUST FROM TXT!
As a kid I used to call my friends (landline) JUST when returning home FROM SCHOOL (so just after 45 min's we said "bye") and I spent another hour on the phone - until my mom locked it...
As Pele said: taking away PC or cellphone is maybe worse than just shooting your kid.
Remember the days when you were having a conversation just shouting across the courtyard, instead of calling on your cell?
Right now I'm without cellphone.. it's quiet... I like it
Originally Posted By: seasprayIt's hard to hear when people try and talk to you up through a floor
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new means of communication and its "availability" does change a society... anyone remembers how it's been "in the days before cellphones"...
we used to make appointments at specific places... and if in a busy environment we said "if you miss the time we go there every 20min's to pick you up"...
loved ones were not thinking: "wow s/he must have stopped loving me" just because there is no communication within 5 hrs.
at the same time, parents had no idea where their kids would be right now... yet not have to keep up with multi-billion phone bills - JUST FROM TXT!
As a kid I used to call my friends (landline) JUST when returning home FROM SCHOOL (so just after 45 min's we said "bye") and I spent another hour on the phone - until my mom locked it...
As Pele said: taking away PC or cellphone is maybe worse than just shooting your kid.
Remember the days when you were having a conversation just shouting across the courtyard, instead of calling on your cell?
Right now I'm without cellphone.. it's quiet... I like it
Originally Posted By: seasprayIt's hard to hear when people try and talk to you up through a floor
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the best smiles are the ones you lead to
SILVER Member
newbie
29 posts
Location: Buffalo NY, USA
newbie
29 posts
Location: Buffalo NY, USA
Posted:
I met a 20 year old girl at a festival recently and she was complaining that all she wanted to do was get home so she could update her MySpace about how bored she was. I'll admit, there wasn't a whole lot going on that day, but there she is in a beautful set of woods, swimming pool and hot tub availible, all sorts of people to talk to, and texting was the ONLY thing she could think of (and she DID have her phone with her, and was using it.)
I see people on cell phones talking in the most meaningless ways, "I'm getting in the elevator, can you hear me? What? Yeah I can hear you, someone jsut got off, going to class soon, almost up to the 5th floor, you're where? What? I'm turning the corner, ok, I see you, can you wave? What?" or fighting in public spaces, arguments that you know won't be resoved over a phone. I hear stories from girls who say how upset their boyfriend would be if they didn't text them every two hours, how they wake up in the middle of the night to text to their friends that they are asleep.
It's harder and harder to find kids who read books, who don't actively dislike reading books, who have anything realted to hobbies, other then videogames, shopping, phones, updating MySpace.
People take text messages and other internet communications WAY to personally, there's no room for jokes (unless you specifically write out j/k or lol, so as to alert them). People ball their eyes out over preceived slights, ruin blossoming friendships of a misinterpreted statement, react intensely and violently to the most minor miscommunications, there's no patients any more. Drama, drama, drama.
It sickens me to think of two people, in the same room, texting rather then talking.
When I was attending college a few years ago, people were so wrapped up in their cell phones they'd completely ignor the teacher, then ask them to repeat entire lessons, they would constantly fail the simplest tests.
You read anything written by people in middle school or highschool these days? The literacy is appaling, lacking basic sentance structer, simple spelling of common words, it's nearly impossible to read.
Cell phones need to be out right banned from schools, punished by destruction of said phone. Parents need to take cell phones away at bed time, meals, homework, outdoor actiivty times. Kids need to be forced outside and made to play real world games, not just virtual ones. Parents need to spend far more time with their kids, hours every day, not jsut doing the basic school work, but playing games, taking them places, teaching them extra ciricular subjects, and most of all reading.
Maybe then, we'll save our selves from a mediocer future.
I met a 20 year old girl at a festival recently and she was complaining that all she wanted to do was get home so she could update her MySpace about how bored she was. I'll admit, there wasn't a whole lot going on that day, but there she is in a beautful set of woods, swimming pool and hot tub availible, all sorts of people to talk to, and texting was the ONLY thing she could think of (and she DID have her phone with her, and was using it.)
I see people on cell phones talking in the most meaningless ways, "I'm getting in the elevator, can you hear me? What? Yeah I can hear you, someone jsut got off, going to class soon, almost up to the 5th floor, you're where? What? I'm turning the corner, ok, I see you, can you wave? What?" or fighting in public spaces, arguments that you know won't be resoved over a phone. I hear stories from girls who say how upset their boyfriend would be if they didn't text them every two hours, how they wake up in the middle of the night to text to their friends that they are asleep.
It's harder and harder to find kids who read books, who don't actively dislike reading books, who have anything realted to hobbies, other then videogames, shopping, phones, updating MySpace.
People take text messages and other internet communications WAY to personally, there's no room for jokes (unless you specifically write out j/k or lol, so as to alert them). People ball their eyes out over preceived slights, ruin blossoming friendships of a misinterpreted statement, react intensely and violently to the most minor miscommunications, there's no patients any more. Drama, drama, drama.
It sickens me to think of two people, in the same room, texting rather then talking.
When I was attending college a few years ago, people were so wrapped up in their cell phones they'd completely ignor the teacher, then ask them to repeat entire lessons, they would constantly fail the simplest tests.
You read anything written by people in middle school or highschool these days? The literacy is appaling, lacking basic sentance structer, simple spelling of common words, it's nearly impossible to read.
Cell phones need to be out right banned from schools, punished by destruction of said phone. Parents need to take cell phones away at bed time, meals, homework, outdoor actiivty times. Kids need to be forced outside and made to play real world games, not just virtual ones. Parents need to spend far more time with their kids, hours every day, not jsut doing the basic school work, but playing games, taking them places, teaching them extra ciricular subjects, and most of all reading.
Maybe then, we'll save our selves from a mediocer future.
stranger by the day
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind
Posted:
Originally Posted By: ThelemicPotter
Cell phones need to be out right banned from schools, punished by destruction of said phone.
That's one action a school wouldn't dream of doing, specifically because regularly destroying expensive items of student property would result in so many damage claims.
There's also the issue with long commute students, having a phone becomes useful when traveling.
Confiscation of phones for the duration of lessons is the only real solution for that.
Also, as an avid video gamer *and* reader, in my opinion video games can be quite beneficial to learning logical thinking and so on. Take RTS games. They ask you to think "my oponent is using these, I counter with this and I also do this to defend against his counter to my attack". Too much video games are bad perhaps, too much of anything is bad of course
Originally Posted By: ThelemicPotter
Cell phones need to be out right banned from schools, punished by destruction of said phone.
That's one action a school wouldn't dream of doing, specifically because regularly destroying expensive items of student property would result in so many damage claims.
There's also the issue with long commute students, having a phone becomes useful when traveling.
Confiscation of phones for the duration of lessons is the only real solution for that.
Also, as an avid video gamer *and* reader, in my opinion video games can be quite beneficial to learning logical thinking and so on. Take RTS games. They ask you to think "my oponent is using these, I counter with this and I also do this to defend against his counter to my attack". Too much video games are bad perhaps, too much of anything is bad of course
Just a dancer in the dark
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I agree Seaspray.
My sons school takes the phone away until the end of the lesson, first infraction. 2nd it gets taken away to the principles office and a parent must come and get it.
I do think there is room for balance in the world, absolutely. It's something we strive for in our home, as adults as well as for our son. Today I played football with him. Okay, well...more accurately, I threw the ball like a girl while he mocked me. Then we went to an appt and the store, nothing grand but it was together. Now he's texting before homework time. It's a balance that means I have to be an active parent in his life.
I think it sucks that the girl couldn't find joy in the festival,TP, but to be fair, if it wasn't Myspaz and txting, it would have been something else. She sounds like one of those people who was just going to find a reason to be unhappy and I feel sad for her, and for the people on the other end of the txts.
I agree Seaspray.
My sons school takes the phone away until the end of the lesson, first infraction. 2nd it gets taken away to the principles office and a parent must come and get it.
I do think there is room for balance in the world, absolutely. It's something we strive for in our home, as adults as well as for our son. Today I played football with him. Okay, well...more accurately, I threw the ball like a girl while he mocked me. Then we went to an appt and the store, nothing grand but it was together. Now he's texting before homework time. It's a balance that means I have to be an active parent in his life.
I think it sucks that the girl couldn't find joy in the festival,TP, but to be fair, if it wasn't Myspaz and txting, it would have been something else. She sounds like one of those people who was just going to find a reason to be unhappy and I feel sad for her, and for the people on the other end of the txts.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Posted:
Originally Posted By: PeleStout:I'm not sure where you are
Well, first of all, I don't own a cell phone, I don't need one and I don't want one
That's the last thing I need, to be in getting my prostrate checked and to have my phone burst forth with Celine Dion's cover version of You Shook Me All Night long...which I'd have as a ringtone because I'm cruel.
So you could say I'm in a different world than the one I'm reading about on this thread. Sure, I've heard the stories, I've even seen it live, like the time I was in Thailand and there was this Spanish girl there who'd phone her boyfriend back home in Spain, have a fight, then phone her mother to tell her about the fight. I know this because I knew this guy who was travelling with her and he was always scheming of ways to make her phone disappear.
Originally Posted By: ThelemicPotter People take text messages and other internet communications WAY to personally, there's no room for jokes (unless you specifically write out j/k or lol, so as to alert them). People ball their eyes out over preceived slights, ruin blossoming friendships of a misinterpreted statement, react intensely and violently to the most minor miscommunications, there's no patients any more. Drama, drama, drama.
I fully agree with this if it can happen in a format like this, then I don't see why it can't happen with texting.
Edit: I feel bad about the Celine Dion, here's some Bruce Springsteen to make up for it
Originally Posted By: PeleStout:I'm not sure where you are
Well, first of all, I don't own a cell phone, I don't need one and I don't want one
That's the last thing I need, to be in getting my prostrate checked and to have my phone burst forth with Celine Dion's cover version of You Shook Me All Night long...which I'd have as a ringtone because I'm cruel.
So you could say I'm in a different world than the one I'm reading about on this thread. Sure, I've heard the stories, I've even seen it live, like the time I was in Thailand and there was this Spanish girl there who'd phone her boyfriend back home in Spain, have a fight, then phone her mother to tell her about the fight. I know this because I knew this guy who was travelling with her and he was always scheming of ways to make her phone disappear.
Originally Posted By: ThelemicPotter People take text messages and other internet communications WAY to personally, there's no room for jokes (unless you specifically write out j/k or lol, so as to alert them). People ball their eyes out over preceived slights, ruin blossoming friendships of a misinterpreted statement, react intensely and violently to the most minor miscommunications, there's no patients any more. Drama, drama, drama.
I fully agree with this if it can happen in a format like this, then I don't see why it can't happen with texting.
Edit: I feel bad about the Celine Dion, here's some Bruce Springsteen to make up for it
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Originally Posted By: PeleI agree Seaspray.
My sons school takes the phone away until the end of the lesson, first infraction. 2nd it gets taken away to the principles office and a parent must come and get it.
My high school required you to hand phones in at the office at the start of the school day (before registration) and fetch them at the end of it. I forget what punishments are in place.
I only got a cellphone when I started university (2006) and that is only because I would not have a normal phone around. I will say that it is quite useful.
I also probably spend far too much time online, but I still have other active hobbies (poi, juggling, karate, rock climbing, collecting trivia, etc), which fuel that online presence, but anyway. I still think that I am a reasonably well balanced person who can still talk. I still read. I think that balance is quite easy to achieve in this regard.
Part of which is the paucity of bandwidth in RSA....
Originally Posted By: PeleI agree Seaspray.
My sons school takes the phone away until the end of the lesson, first infraction. 2nd it gets taken away to the principles office and a parent must come and get it.
My high school required you to hand phones in at the office at the start of the school day (before registration) and fetch them at the end of it. I forget what punishments are in place.
I only got a cellphone when I started university (2006) and that is only because I would not have a normal phone around. I will say that it is quite useful.
I also probably spend far too much time online, but I still have other active hobbies (poi, juggling, karate, rock climbing, collecting trivia, etc), which fuel that online presence, but anyway. I still think that I am a reasonably well balanced person who can still talk. I still read. I think that balance is quite easy to achieve in this regard.
Part of which is the paucity of bandwidth in RSA....
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Stout, if that will be your ring tone, then I agree you shouldn't have a phone. Any Celine Dion is cruel punishment but a cover such as that? Criminal!!!
And Bruce Springsteen?
You hurt me.
Really.
You do.
Stout, if that will be your ring tone, then I agree you shouldn't have a phone. Any Celine Dion is cruel punishment but a cover such as that? Criminal!!!
And Bruce Springsteen?
You hurt me.
Really.
You do.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada
Posted:
You don't like The Boss ??? WOW, I've never heard anybody say that before.
Maybe a little Tragically Hip next time ?
I almost ran somebody over yesterday who was walking along, totally absorbed in pushing the buttons on her phone. She walked right out in front of me against a red light and, luckily, traffic patterns had me moving at about 15 km/h ( I could/should have been going faster in that area ) and I stopped without her even knowing what she'd done.
I yelled, but she didn't hear me....headphones.
Aye, I sometimes i long for my crappy old Chevy van back. The one with the scored brake disc where all I had to do was give the pedal a sharp tap to lock up the left front wheel and produce a sound that jolted careless ( or arrogant) pedestrians back to reality.
You don't like The Boss ??? WOW, I've never heard anybody say that before.
Maybe a little Tragically Hip next time ?
I almost ran somebody over yesterday who was walking along, totally absorbed in pushing the buttons on her phone. She walked right out in front of me against a red light and, luckily, traffic patterns had me moving at about 15 km/h ( I could/should have been going faster in that area ) and I stopped without her even knowing what she'd done.
I yelled, but she didn't hear me....headphones.
Aye, I sometimes i long for my crappy old Chevy van back. The one with the scored brake disc where all I had to do was give the pedal a sharp tap to lock up the left front wheel and produce a sound that jolted careless ( or arrogant) pedestrians back to reality.
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
lol Stout, there is simply something about him that doesn't make me wanna dancing in the dark at all.
Yeah, baddum-ting
You need one of those blast horns that scare the crap out of people. My dad has one in his truck and loves using it at anyone crossing ahead of him. Makes me crack up anytime.
Did you read the article, last month maybe, about the girl in Spain (I think?) who was texting while walking, missed the sign that said "Sidewalk Closed" and walked right into an open manhole and fell into the sewer below.
She was uninjured but I laughed...for days...every time I thought of it.
And you bring up another good point, how headphones really limit socialization as well. I wear them at work all the time, as does my lab mate. Some days we chat away but today, complete silence in here because we're both into our own music.
Combining the texting with the headphones, deadly.
lol Stout, there is simply something about him that doesn't make me wanna dancing in the dark at all.
Yeah, baddum-ting
You need one of those blast horns that scare the crap out of people. My dad has one in his truck and loves using it at anyone crossing ahead of him. Makes me crack up anytime.
Did you read the article, last month maybe, about the girl in Spain (I think?) who was texting while walking, missed the sign that said "Sidewalk Closed" and walked right into an open manhole and fell into the sewer below.
She was uninjured but I laughed...for days...every time I thought of it.
And you bring up another good point, how headphones really limit socialization as well. I wear them at work all the time, as does my lab mate. Some days we chat away but today, complete silence in here because we're both into our own music.
Combining the texting with the headphones, deadly.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
SILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa
Posted:
Originally Posted By: PeleDid you read the article, last month maybe, about the girl in Spain (I think?) who was texting while walking, missed the sign that said "Sidewalk Closed" and walked right into an open manhole and fell into the sewer below.
She was uninjured but I laughed...for days...every time I thought of it.
I am going to do the same now. *sniggers*
Originally Posted By: PeleDid you read the article, last month maybe, about the girl in Spain (I think?) who was texting while walking, missed the sign that said "Sidewalk Closed" and walked right into an open manhole and fell into the sewer below.
She was uninjured but I laughed...for days...every time I thought of it.
I am going to do the same now. *sniggers*
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland
SILVER Member
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
Posted:
Originally Posted By: Pelenes really limit socialization as well. I wear them at work all the time...
not such a problem in hospitality
Originally Posted By: Pelenes really limit socialization as well. I wear them at work all the time...
not such a problem in hospitality
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
SILVER Member
Magic Monkey Juice
252 posts
Location: Saaf Ingerland Innet, England (UK)
Magic Monkey Juice
252 posts
Location: Saaf Ingerland Innet, England (UK)
Posted:
Personally I think internet is driving people away from a lot of social encounters.
After I moved away from friends and family I didn't have the internet for years, and lost contact with so many people who I used to speak to daily on and off line, I still had a phone but never heard from anyone, it made me a bit bitter. Now after pretty much 2 and a half years I have it back, and I am peoples best friend again.
I have had people I met in socail situations asking for MSN or facebook over phone numbers now, which when I didn't have the internet drove me mad, and still does.
I don't doubt that it is a fantastic and mega efficiant form of communication, but it seems that a lot of people would rather stay in and play games online or talk
to someone who they don't know then go out and kick a ball around, or wave balls of rice around in socks
In England there was an advert on for E4 (TV channel for thoes who don't know) over the summer saying "don't go out and get sunburned this summer (showing a picture of 2 old people who clearly had been in the sun too much), you don't want to look like this do you? Stay in and play the new games on E4".
When I was a nipper, which wasn't even that long ago, before all this internet malarky I spent the majority of my time outside, with frineds, forming social relationships. I look at my nephiews and neices who are quite young and they are constantly online, no idea what they are doing, but I'm sure it can't be healthy, but who am I to tell my sisters how to raise their children?
With the increasing amount of young children sitting online, how can they form these personal, childish and immature relationships, which I personally think are an essential aspect of human growth.
I can look back and say "I remember when I was 10 years old skateboarding and playing football with my friends"
I reckon in 10 years time it will be
"I remember when I was 10, I got my [name character] to level 50 in World Of Warcraft"
I am probably thinking of the extremes, but I don't think it's too unrealistic. I think the more children form social relationships at home on-line at a young age the harder they may find it later in life to deal with every day society around them if they havn't spent much time out and about in the "real" world.
Personally I think internet is driving people away from a lot of social encounters.
After I moved away from friends and family I didn't have the internet for years, and lost contact with so many people who I used to speak to daily on and off line, I still had a phone but never heard from anyone, it made me a bit bitter. Now after pretty much 2 and a half years I have it back, and I am peoples best friend again.
I have had people I met in socail situations asking for MSN or facebook over phone numbers now, which when I didn't have the internet drove me mad, and still does.
I don't doubt that it is a fantastic and mega efficiant form of communication, but it seems that a lot of people would rather stay in and play games online or talk
to someone who they don't know then go out and kick a ball around, or wave balls of rice around in socks In England there was an advert on for E4 (TV channel for thoes who don't know) over the summer saying "don't go out and get sunburned this summer (showing a picture of 2 old people who clearly had been in the sun too much), you don't want to look like this do you? Stay in and play the new games on E4".
When I was a nipper, which wasn't even that long ago, before all this internet malarky I spent the majority of my time outside, with frineds, forming social relationships. I look at my nephiews and neices who are quite young and they are constantly online, no idea what they are doing, but I'm sure it can't be healthy, but who am I to tell my sisters how to raise their children?
With the increasing amount of young children sitting online, how can they form these personal, childish and immature relationships, which I personally think are an essential aspect of human growth.
I can look back and say "I remember when I was 10 years old skateboarding and playing football with my friends"
I reckon in 10 years time it will be
"I remember when I was 10, I got my [name character] to level 50 in World Of Warcraft"
I am probably thinking of the extremes, but I don't think it's too unrealistic. I think the more children form social relationships at home on-line at a young age the harder they may find it later in life to deal with every day society around them if they havn't spent much time out and about in the "real" world.
"We were making castles in the sand: Now we swim in the seas that swept them away"
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