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ben-ja-menGOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia


Posted:
i thought that this was just totally ace and had to share it

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?


CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
No no I'm with Lightning. I say we out NYC. Everybody in London calls him Mike already anyway...

Meh


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
If you wanna get a rise out of me you're going to have to do something other than call me 'gay'.

I've been called worse.

Like: "Mike".

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
I mostly agree, Lightning, but suppose your best friend magically became attractive, and you dove into this ready-made relationship with all due glee.

Who would you complain to?

Seriously, you'd still need a "best friend," and you'd have to acquire a new one. Every relationship has things that cause a need to vent to someone outside the relationship.

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
Oh, c'mon NYC. We weren't calling.

We were inviting.

And getting a rise out of you isn't really the point. Or maybe it is, but not in that sense... :-)

(All in fun, Moll, we promise.)

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Excuse me while I go snicker in the corner.

And no worries, Moll. I'm not stealing your man from you.

(I'm already swimming in men... tongue )

Now, Xopher, on the other hand... devil

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


loki.c1687SILVER Member
addict
546 posts
Location: Leeds, United Kingdom


Posted:
wow this should be a church
mike.c

Rules and responsibities:
These are the ties that bind us.
We do what we do,because of who we are.
If we did otherwise,we would not be ourselves.
I will do what i have to do
And i will do what i must..


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
Listen, bud, you ain't stealin' my man either!

Oh wait...

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Dr_MollyPooh-Bah
2,354 posts
Location: Away from home


Posted:
Written by: ...Lightning...


And no worries, Moll. I'm not stealing your man from you.

(I'm already swimming in men... tongue





me?
worried?
you'd have no chance Mike tongue
he is irredeemably mine ubblove


but this swimming in men...
do you have to shave all your body hair off for that, or is that only in competitions? ubbangel

CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
The worrying thing is how he gets his men to be of a consitency that he can swim through eek

Dr Lightning may have accidentally let slip that he is in fact some kind of deranged killer who delights in the macabre act of liquifying his victims. Then gets some kind of twisted pleasure from swimming in the ichorous, pulpy, mellifluous goop and bragging about it on the internet (on a family site no less)

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but i think it's sick....

Meh


flidBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom


Posted:
that is sick!

Talking of sick, i'm not sure what the Society for the Preservation of English Language and Literature would have to say about the word "perceptio" eek

Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
No, he only swims in men after IT'S RAINING MEN!!!

Gonna go out, gonna let myself get
Ab-so-lute-ly soak-ing WET!!!!!!

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Written by: Cantus


Dr Lightning may have accidentally let slip that he is in fact some kind of deranged killer who delights in the macabre act of liquifying his victims. Then gets some kind of twisted pleasure from swimming in the ichorous, pulpy, mellifluous goop and bragging about it on the internet (on a family site no less)

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but i think it's sick....




Actually, I meant it metaphorically. So I do find it concerning that such disturbing images should spring to your mind, my fine Fraggled friend.

Tell me, my dear Cantus, how long have you had these gory associations? devil

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Written by: Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


No, he only swims in men after IT'S RAINING MEN!!!

Gonna go out, gonna let myself get
Ab-so-lute-ly soak-ing WET!!!!!!




Nah...

Too easy. ubbangel

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: doctor death dealer

Tell me, my dear Cantus, how long have you had these gory associations




Ever since you got that avatar Dr Mike....

Do you think to the 2 events might be connected?

Meh


Tracy Lynnnewbie
2 posts

Posted:
Haha, sorry about this I'm new here. But some girls say size doesn't matter to their boyfriends. I saw this on Blue Collar Comedy Tour and one of the guys said, that women say, "Oh, honey. It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean." And he said, "Well, that might be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat." lol. Just thought I'd share. ubbrollsmile

Tracy Lynnnewbie
2 posts

Posted:
30 Things that Girls Want Guys to Know

1. Being on our period is an excuse to not give you any. If we're not getting it, why should you?
2. Love is a word that you shouldn't just use to get us closer. Only say it if you mean it.
3. Cheating is BAD. No matter how you cut it. Whether you were drunk or anything else, it's still your fault.
4. If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, there's probably really something wrong and you should try harder to find out.
5. Buying us jewelery is ALWAYS a good way to make up for a fight.
6. If you really do think that some other girl is prettier than us, just tell us. We like to know what you're thinking and how you like girls to look. It sort of gives us an insight.
7. If we get close to you, it means we want to be near you. Pushing us away and telling us we're too "clingy" is a no-no.
8. If we ask if we look fat, and we do, say yes. We don't want to look bad when we go into public.
9. If some other guy checks us out. Don't get mad. There's probably other girls looking at you.
10. If we're on the phone with a guy, or talking to him, or we hug him, it doesn't mean we're into him. Girls just hug people. It's natural.
11. If we seem upset, don't ask us if it's our "time of the month."
12. As much as we find out that you're lying, we still can't help but trust you anyway.
13. Complaining about the way we dress when we hang around other guys is NOT going to get you brownie points.
14. If you don't get along with our friends, we won't like it.
15. You guys don't want to hear about our ex boyfriends. DON'T talk about your ex girlfriends.
16. Oh, and asking us to masturbate in front of you, isn't a turn on. A lot of us don't even do that. If you touch yourself, it's your business. But, some of us don't want to.
17. If a pretty girl walks by, don't stare at her without expecting to be asked, "Do you think she's prettier than I am?"
18. If we bitch because you left the toilet seat up, just put it down. It doesn't take that much effort and it shows that you actually think about what we say.
19. If you get into an argument with us, chances are that we will not stop until we're satisfied that we've won. Just tell us that we were right and you were wrong if you don't want it to continue.
20. If you're single and you see us sitting in the mall or at a restaurant and we're alone, don't just sit there and stare, if you think we're cute, come and tell us.
21. If you've pissed us off, at least show an effort to make up for it.
22. If you go shopping with us, we WILL show you what the clothes look like. They could be little tiny clothes that don't even look like they fit (you like those, admit it), or, they could be full fitting teacher looking outfits. We want you to see them all. We like having your opinion on what we wear.
23. Don't ask us if we think another girl is cute. Most of us don't look at girls that way. That'd be like us asking, "Do you think he has a nice butt?"
24. You DON'T have all of the authority and decision-making power in a relationship that you think you do.
25. If we start to cry, hold us, ask us what's wrong, and talk it out with us. Don't just say it'll be okay if you don't know why we're crying.
26. If we say we're fat, and you buy us chocolate, you're going to have a hard time.
27. Some girls smoke. Get over it. Not all guys think that smoking is a turn off.
28. Getting us drunk is NOT an acceptable way to get us to do things with you.
29. On the other hand, some of us like to drink, so buying us alcohol could be a plus.
30. FINALLY- If you break our hearts, don't let us see you with another girl, we'll probably beat her up.

Something that a friend and I thought up. Just to let the guys know what we're thinking as well.

Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
Well, I don't agree with all of them - but there are some I do! ubblol
EDITED_BY: Rouge Dragon (1101162423)

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
Hmm, I think a guy who believes your #8 will go through a lot of relationships pretty fast. Of course, any woman who asks her boyfriend outright "do I look fat?" is trying to trap him into doing something she can get upset about so that he'll have to "make it up to her" later. "Does this dress make me look fat?" is another story; the answer to that, as I've said elsewhere, is "You always look beautiful to me, but that dress doesn't flatter your gorgeous body."

19. Wow. A person who acts as described in 19 is someone I don't even want to be FRIENDS with, let alone in a relationship with.

In fact, my last relationship was with a guy whose answer to any disagreement was just to say "we disagree" and refuse to talk about it. Mind you this could be "no, Bruce, the moon is made of dust and rock. The green cheese thing is just a story, honest." "We disagree," he'd reply.

I call this "chosen stupidity." He didn't lack native intelligence, but his mind was so closed to new learning that he might as well have. Native or chosen, stupidity is a COMPLETE turnoff for me.

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


My hairs on fireIf its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
515 posts
Location: Cyprus


Posted:
ide like to add one...

although most women wont believe it, not ALL men are egotistical testostiron driven sex machines that only want to get you into bed. Some of us do actually care and want a forfilling relationship. Just realise a good thing when it comes along laydeez.

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )


Lillie Frognot a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales


Posted:
Written by: My hairs on fire



although most women wont believe it, not ALL men are egotistical testostiron driven sex machines that only want to get you into bed. Some of us do actually care and want a forfilling relationship. Just realise a good thing when it comes along laydeez.




This is what men say when they want to get in your pants. biggrin

Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
NICE! lolsign

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


My hairs on fireIf its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
515 posts
Location: Cyprus


Posted:
huuuum well i can c where ur coming from but i didnt mean it like dat!

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
Written by: Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


Hmm, I think a guy who believes your #8 will go through a lot of relationships pretty fast. Of course, any woman who asks her boyfriend outright "do I look fat?" is trying to trap him into doing something she can get upset about so that he'll have to "make it up to her" later. "Does this dress make me look fat?" is another story; the answer to that, as I've said elsewhere, is "You always look beautiful to me, but that dress doesn't flatter your gorgeous body."





actually, I tend to think any guy who follows all, most, or even a few of these guidlines will in fact be relationshipless most of the time... or at least wish he was!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
hey Vanize - remember our singles threads! biggrin

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
oh yeah - I guess I'm elegable for it again too!

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


mcpPLATINUM Member
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom


Posted:
There's really only one thing Ben-Ja-Men wants girls to know:

He's a male model!

ubblol

(and a gay poet too)

"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.


ParafinfairySILVER Member
old hand
845 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia


Posted:
ubblol



*cough* Derik Troy cough*

Slicing the Loaf as we speak.

I need it..... Trust me!


CrazyHippyChickSILVER Member
errrrrr what?
198 posts
Location: cloud 9, United Kingdom


Posted:
24. PMT is not an excuse its a bloosy valid reason!! geez wink

I'll come back as fire and burn all the liars and leave a blanket of ashes on the ground.
I could write the new bridget jones diary only mine would be more bizarre, funnier, dirtier more unbelievabe and bloody true!


ben-ja-menGOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia


Posted:
like a fox biggrin

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?


My hairs on fireIf its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
515 posts
Location: Cyprus


Posted:
Every time i look at your avater now it looks like the devil is striking a pose,Vouge.....

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )


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