Forums > Social Discussion > Cyber Stalking
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Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Recently, the issue of cyber-stalking has come up in discussion with a few of my online friends and I would like to open a discussion on the topic.
Cyber-stalking takes on a variety of guises, each more irritating and menacing than the next. Direct forms of internet harassment may invlove the sending of unwanted emails, which are abusive, emotionally and/ or physically threatening or obscene from one person to another. It may also involve spamming, electronic sabotage, sending computer viruses (virii?), subbing people to internet sites etc without their permission. The list goes on.
In both the UK and the US there have been calls for specific cyber-stalking legislation. In fact, several states in the US that have included online communications in its statutes against stalking and harassment. This just needs to happen on a wider scale and victims of harassment will be better protected.
What do you think we can do? If you were being harrassed online, how would you deal with the situation?
online harassment article
Recently, the issue of cyber-stalking has come up in discussion with a few of my online friends and I would like to open a discussion on the topic.
Cyber-stalking takes on a variety of guises, each more irritating and menacing than the next. Direct forms of internet harassment may invlove the sending of unwanted emails, which are abusive, emotionally and/ or physically threatening or obscene from one person to another. It may also involve spamming, electronic sabotage, sending computer viruses (virii?), subbing people to internet sites etc without their permission. The list goes on.
In both the UK and the US there have been calls for specific cyber-stalking legislation. In fact, several states in the US that have included online communications in its statutes against stalking and harassment. This just needs to happen on a wider scale and victims of harassment will be better protected.
What do you think we can do? If you were being harrassed online, how would you deal with the situation?
online harassment article
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SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Posted:
What truly amazes me is that more has not been written on the subject or more laws have not been passed about it. The internet today is in every fascet of the lives of everyone. If it can exist in the middle of nowhere in a third world country, it really is everywhere.
The simplest thing to do is to get rid of the e-mail account you are being stalked through. However, doing so usually isn't an option. Sometimes it can be a work e-mail, or the only one certain people know to contact you through. Changing it almost seems like you are admitting to the stalker that he/she has won. But it is a sure fire way to get rid of them (assuming e-mail stalking of some sort).
Most e-mail providers these days also allow you to block e-mail from a certain sender, but that isn't always fool-proof either as sometimes they are too stringent or the sender just comes up with a new e-mail to harras you through.
It is a very frustrating position to be in, and one I sincerely hope I never find myself faced with. Sorry I don't have any solutions, just
for people who have been there.
What truly amazes me is that more has not been written on the subject or more laws have not been passed about it. The internet today is in every fascet of the lives of everyone. If it can exist in the middle of nowhere in a third world country, it really is everywhere.
The simplest thing to do is to get rid of the e-mail account you are being stalked through. However, doing so usually isn't an option. Sometimes it can be a work e-mail, or the only one certain people know to contact you through. Changing it almost seems like you are admitting to the stalker that he/she has won. But it is a sure fire way to get rid of them (assuming e-mail stalking of some sort).
Most e-mail providers these days also allow you to block e-mail from a certain sender, but that isn't always fool-proof either as sometimes they are too stringent or the sender just comes up with a new e-mail to harras you through.
It is a very frustrating position to be in, and one I sincerely hope I never find myself faced with. Sorry I don't have any solutions, just
for people who have been there. GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
when i was in first year uni i had a gay stalker who was harrassing me by sending me rather explicit emails, that was rather annoying but more so when they started adding creepy things like today i heard your voice for the first time. i went to the university sexual harrassment people who turned around and said there was nothing they could do (because it was an anonymous email account, which i think is crap and that if it was a guy sending a girl the same emails there would have been a different reaction) i only replyed to the first email saying not interested and a bit after a year they stopped writing. personally i dont think there is much u can do about net stalking unless we let big brother loose in an offical sense for the simple fact that the net is anonymous if u know how it works and dont mind breaking a few laws.
Quote:
What do you think we can do? If you were being harrassed online, how would you deal with the situation?
when i was in first year uni i had a gay stalker who was harrassing me by sending me rather explicit emails, that was rather annoying but more so when they started adding creepy things like today i heard your voice for the first time. i went to the university sexual harrassment people who turned around and said there was nothing they could do (because it was an anonymous email account, which i think is crap and that if it was a guy sending a girl the same emails there would have been a different reaction) i only replyed to the first email saying not interested and a bit after a year they stopped writing. personally i dont think there is much u can do about net stalking unless we let big brother loose in an offical sense for the simple fact that the net is anonymous if u know how it works and dont mind breaking a few laws.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I agree that it is quite ridiculus for our governments not to take cyber stalking as serious. If someone was getting stalked on the street they are quite good about it and try to sort it out (my friend was once stalked)
I suppose untill the government really starts to get themselves sorted out the only thing you can do is try to ignore them untill they hopefully get bored by you? Although i have never been stalked (luckily) so i don't know how easy ignoring them actually would be.
I agree that it is quite ridiculus for our governments not to take cyber stalking as serious. If someone was getting stalked on the street they are quite good about it and try to sort it out (my friend was once stalked)
I suppose untill the government really starts to get themselves sorted out the only thing you can do is try to ignore them untill they hopefully get bored by you? Although i have never been stalked (luckily) so i don't know how easy ignoring them actually would be.
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
i think the government, UK at least, are completely incompetant when it comes to computers. Yea, the talk about it "britain will be at the forefront of the internet by 2002........" etc, but i'd like to see something technological which they stood a chance of enforcing.
The internet is a big scarey thing, people shouldn't use it if they can't cope with the fact that if they don't like it they can just walk away/log off at any time. If they're stupid enough to give out their real life details and it crosses over into reality, well, then they're asking for it really.
i think the government, UK at least, are completely incompetant when it comes to computers. Yea, the talk about it "britain will be at the forefront of the internet by 2002........" etc, but i'd like to see something technological which they stood a chance of enforcing.
The internet is a big scarey thing, people shouldn't use it if they can't cope with the fact that if they don't like it they can just walk away/log off at any time. If they're stupid enough to give out their real life details and it crosses over into reality, well, then they're asking for it really.
poo-bah
1,015 posts
Location: Austin TX USA
1,015 posts
Location: Austin TX USA
Posted:
Perhaps I'm crazy, but my instinct would be to confront the stalker, call him out. If he's bluffing, he'll probably be cowed and back off. If not, well, things could get interesting, but at least you'll bring them to a head.
We're seeing a related, and perhaps more worrisome phenomenon with right-wing blowhards who collectively threaten people they disagree with; the most recent dogpile victim is Kathryn Cramer, though Margaret Cho got the same thing a little while back. Cho dealt with it effectively simply by publishing the e-mail addresses and messages of the people threatening her. So far these threats have been confined to cyberspace, but with this lot, it's not hard to imagine them showing up in person (as they threaten to do). I still think it's 99% bluster.
Perhaps I'm crazy, but my instinct would be to confront the stalker, call him out. If he's bluffing, he'll probably be cowed and back off. If not, well, things could get interesting, but at least you'll bring them to a head.
We're seeing a related, and perhaps more worrisome phenomenon with right-wing blowhards who collectively threaten people they disagree with; the most recent dogpile victim is Kathryn Cramer, though Margaret Cho got the same thing a little while back. Cho dealt with it effectively simply by publishing the e-mail addresses and messages of the people threatening her. So far these threats have been confined to cyberspace, but with this lot, it's not hard to imagine them showing up in person (as they threaten to do). I still think it's 99% bluster.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy
SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA
Posted:
I agree that calling your stalker out is a good idea, however, what if you already know that person. What if it is someone you were friends with once upon a time and for one reason or another, you no longer want to have anything to do with him/her?
What then? They have all your contact info because you gave it to them freely in friendship.
I agree that calling your stalker out is a good idea, however, what if you already know that person. What if it is someone you were friends with once upon a time and for one reason or another, you no longer want to have anything to do with him/her?
What then? They have all your contact info because you gave it to them freely in friendship.
poo-bah
1,015 posts
Location: Austin TX USA
1,015 posts
Location: Austin TX USA
Posted:
I guess the answer to that is "it depends." If the person is sending you unwanted e-mail, filter it out (I've got plenty of non-stalkers on my bozolist). If they're pestering you by phone, the phone company has mechanisms (admittedly, really inconvenient ones) for dealing with threatening callers. If they're, say, subscribing you to magazines you don't want, I think that's abuse of the mails, and might be grounds to sicc a postal inspector on their ass.
I guess the answer to that is "it depends." If the person is sending you unwanted e-mail, filter it out (I've got plenty of non-stalkers on my bozolist). If they're pestering you by phone, the phone company has mechanisms (admittedly, really inconvenient ones) for dealing with threatening callers. If they're, say, subscribing you to magazines you don't want, I think that's abuse of the mails, and might be grounds to sicc a postal inspector on their ass.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Well, at least he had good taste in men...
Seriously, Ben is absolutely right. When I was in college, I kept getting prank phone calls and E-mails from someone claiming to be the devil. Just when I figured out which of my dorm-mates it was, I would get a call from "The Devil" while my prime suspect was sitting right in front of me.
There was no way to track the E-mails and the University Phone service said that they could not track the phone calls. They stopped at the end of my Freshman year, although I got one more during my Senior year. That time I just said "You know what? F**k you." Then I hung up, and when the phone started ringing again, I just picked it up and stuck the handset under my pillow so that I could study in peace. I don't know how long he went on before he realized I wasn't on the phone and gave up.
Frankly, as long as they aren't physically stalking me, the beauty of electronic communication is that it's almost effortless to cut them off. And if there's no reaction, they get bored eventually and give up.
Quote:
when i was in first year uni i had a gay stalker who was harrassing me by sending me rather explicit emails....personally i dont think there is much u can do about net stalking unless we let big brother loose in an offical sense for the simple fact that the net is anonymous if u know how it works and dont mind breaking a few laws.
Well, at least he had good taste in men...
Seriously, Ben is absolutely right. When I was in college, I kept getting prank phone calls and E-mails from someone claiming to be the devil. Just when I figured out which of my dorm-mates it was, I would get a call from "The Devil" while my prime suspect was sitting right in front of me.
There was no way to track the E-mails and the University Phone service said that they could not track the phone calls. They stopped at the end of my Freshman year, although I got one more during my Senior year. That time I just said "You know what? F**k you." Then I hung up, and when the phone started ringing again, I just picked it up and stuck the handset under my pillow so that I could study in peace. I don't know how long he went on before he realized I wasn't on the phone and gave up.
Frankly, as long as they aren't physically stalking me, the beauty of electronic communication is that it's almost effortless to cut them off. And if there's no reaction, they get bored eventually and give up.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
lol cheers mike
getting hit on by guys doesnt bother me ..... i seem to get hit on alot by guys much much more than by girls 
its when you say thanx for the compliment but not interested and they persist that it gets annoying. so what did the devil want from you?
lol cheers mike
getting hit on by guys doesnt bother me ..... i seem to get hit on alot by guys much much more than by girls its when you say thanx for the compliment but not interested and they persist that it gets annoying. so what did the devil want from you? Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
enthusiast
237 posts
237 posts
Posted:
adamrice speaks the truth!
On one of the other sites I post (and lurk) on there aren't many girls interested on the main topic so girls are few. A newer member who'd posted a 'cheeky' photo of herself was being harassed by a guy from the board but didn't recognise their email/chat name. She posted the crap he'd been pushing (asking for more pictures and meeting up). One of the other forum members recognised the IDs and 'outed' him on the board and he was pretty heavily ridiculed and left her alone from then on.
Interestingly this same site has an IP checking function anyone can use to see if there are people deliberately stirring up trouble by posting under different screen names and trolling/inflaming sensitive topics.......makes me realise what a pretty cool board this one is.
adamrice speaks the truth!
On one of the other sites I post (and lurk) on there aren't many girls interested on the main topic so girls are few. A newer member who'd posted a 'cheeky' photo of herself was being harassed by a guy from the board but didn't recognise their email/chat name. She posted the crap he'd been pushing (asking for more pictures and meeting up). One of the other forum members recognised the IDs and 'outed' him on the board and he was pretty heavily ridiculed and left her alone from then on.
Interestingly this same site has an IP checking function anyone can use to see if there are people deliberately stirring up trouble by posting under different screen names and trolling/inflaming sensitive topics.......makes me realise what a pretty cool board this one is.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Probably because you're hot.
But you are also very good at calling attention to yourself. Ergo, going shirtless in a club wearing devil horns on Halloween, and then there's that bit about the flaming balls spinning around your body. You are not, by any means, "Mr. Subtlety." You get noticed, and gay men, being the visual creatures we are, will notice a guy like you.
Unfortunately, stalkers come in all kinds.
Quote:
i seem to get hit on alot by guys much much more than by girls
Probably because you're hot.
But you are also very good at calling attention to yourself. Ergo, going shirtless in a club wearing devil horns on Halloween, and then there's that bit about the flaming balls spinning around your body. You are not, by any means, "Mr. Subtlety." You get noticed, and gay men, being the visual creatures we are, will notice a guy like you.
Unfortunately, stalkers come in all kinds.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
lovable smart-ass
785 posts
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria
785 posts
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria
Posted:
i had some idiot sending me e-mails and telling me what a fat, ugly, worthless bastard i am. that went on for about 6 months till i got fed up and had a friend who is best described as a truly evil computer geek figure out who it is and mess up his computer a bit.
*insert evil laugh here*
i found it kinda funny that it was the guy who liked my ex-girlfriend, that i was together with at the time. And the
only thing he wanted to do about it, is sending me really childish email.
anonymous hatemail is the most useless and cowardly thing u can do about any problem u have.
i had some idiot sending me e-mails and telling me what a fat, ugly, worthless bastard i am. that went on for about 6 months till i got fed up and had a friend who is best described as a truly evil computer geek figure out who it is and mess up his computer a bit.
*insert evil laugh here*
i found it kinda funny that it was the guy who liked my ex-girlfriend, that i was together with at the time. And the
only thing he wanted to do about it, is sending me really childish email.
anonymous hatemail is the most useless and cowardly thing u can do about any problem u have.
"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer
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