Forums > Introductions > What is monkey?

Hello, and welcome to



THE HOME OF POI MONKEY TREEHOUSE



a place for all ape related HoPsters to call their own



and aren't we all related to apes in some way?





My Reasons For Building This Monkey Treehouse



1. i had a lovely intro thread on the old board, but don't feel the need to have it moved over. i don't have time to keep it fresh and reliably reply to stuff anymore. But it'd be nice to have a thread where i can come and chat rubbish every so often.



2. i feel there is something of a covert secret brotherhood of HoP monkeys, and a place for us all to plan, plot, and/or prevaricate on issues of monkey importance is long overdue.



3. Eva Sunbeam wants somewhere to post a monkey picture she found



4. Everywhere should have a monkey treehouse





Rules Of The Monkey Treehouse



i. No banana pilfering, thievery or burglary of any nature.



ii. Any references to "monkey loving" are to be of a Family Friendly Nature.



iii. Every, any, all and each monkey that wishes to call the monkey treehouse their home may do so; but first they must introduce themselves to the treehouse, supplying ANY RELEVANT INFORMATION about their person. Failure to do so shall result in being called before the High Council of Monkeys, and the offender may be required to pay a fine of up to 17 bananas.



iv. No whooping after 11pm.



v. Non-monkey HoPsters are welcome to make use of the monkey treehouse's facilities, including the pool, bingo hall and miniature golf course. Ape related salutations, jokes, anecdotes or other messages shall be warmly appreciated.





Let the monkey business commence...

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

Quote:

---

Step attempts to correct someone elses quote by quoting it:

a) with 6 brand new spelling mistakes
and
b) totally incorrectly...

---

Step (el-nombrie)

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

Step (el-nombrie)

Quote:

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All the apemen who's independent,
Throw your hands up at me
All the monkeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at meeeeeee
All the bonobo who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the monkeys who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me e e

---

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

Step (el-nombrie)

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

Step (el-nombrie)

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh

Step (el-nombrie)

Some things you have to see to believe, but
Some things you have to believe in to see.

Step (el-nombrie)

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

Quote:

---

Y'know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long as knives and as sharp as blades. And I said to him, Brother Tiger, you go for a swim, I'll look after your balls for you. He was so proud of his balls. So he got into the water hole for a swim, and I put his balls on, and left him my own little spider balls. And then, you know what I did? I ran away, fast as my legs would take me.

I didn't stop till I got to the next town. And I saw Old Monkey there. You lookin' mighty fine, Anansi, said Old Monkey. I said to him, You know what they all singin' in the town over there? What are they singin'? he asks me. They singin' the funniest song, I told him. Then I did a dance, and I sings,

Tiger's balls, yeah,
I ate Tiger's balls
Now aint nobody going to stop me ever at all
Nobody put me up against the big black wall
'Cos I ate Tigers testimonials
I ate Tiger's balls.

Old Monkey he laughs fit to bust, holding his side and shakin' and stampin', then he starts singin' Tiger's balls, I ate Tiger's balls, snappin' his fingers, spinnin' around on his two feet. That's a fine song, he says, I'm goin' to sing it to all my friends. You do that I tell him, and I head back to the water hole.

There's Tiger, down by the water hole, walkin' up and down, with his tail switchin' and swishin' and his ears and the fur on his neck up as far as they can go, and he's snappin' at every insect comes by with his huge old saber teeth, and his eyes flashin' orange fire. He looks mean and scary and big, but danglin' between his legs, there's the littlest balls in the littlest blackest most wrinkledy ball-sack you ever did see.

Hey Anansi, he says, when he sees me. You were supposed to be guarding my balls while I went swimming. But when I got out of the swimming hole, there was nothing on the side of the bank but these little black shriveled-up good-for-nothing spider balls I'm wearing.

I done my best, I tells him, but it was those monkeys, they come by and eat your balls all up, and when I tell them off, they pulled off my own little balls. And I was so ashamed I ran away.

You're a liar, Anansi, says Tiger. I'm going to eat your liver. But then he hears the monkeys coming from their town to the water hole. A dozen happy monkeys, boppin' down the path, clickin' their fingers and singin' as loud as they could sing,

Tiger's balls, yeah,
I ate Tiger's balls
Now aint nobody going to stop me ever at all
Nobody put me up against the big black wall
'Cos I ate Tigers testimonials
I ate Tiger's balls.

And Tiger, he growls, and he roars and he's off into the forest after them, and the monkeys screech and head for the highest trees. And I scratch my nice new big balls, and damn they felt good hangin' between my skinny legs, and I walk on home. And even today, Tiger keeps chasin' monkeys. So you all remember: just because you're small, doesn't mean you got no power.

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But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

I live in a world of infinite possibilities.

"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

"I don't take drugs. I am drugs" - Salvador Dali