Forums > Social Chat > Parents

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Well, i dont really share your problem: im 15 and my parents dont really care, but im confused as to what your problem is.Will your parents not let you use fire, or practice poi in general? A tip would be to show them some one else doing it, and assure them that its (almost) completely safe. Otherwise just practice your poi for two years, and by the time you can do fire, you'll be sooooo good. Actually that doesnt sound like such a good idea now that i think about it...Peace outIf at first you dont succed, blame it on your parents------------------Coles

Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
go to your parents and try this!!You " but all my friends are doing it!!"Parents "so if your friends jump in the firewould you???"You "Thanks guys your the greatest!" [This message has been edited by Chakan (edited 20 December 2001).]

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Chakan, thats hysterical!! it probibly wont work, but its funny anyway. I still dont know what the real problem is, but why even tell your parents....If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried------------------Coles

Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Spend more time practicing without. If you try to force your way on them they will only deny your request more.Take the time to perfect your skill.If you get good enough and show your responsibility with it they may let you.If you do it behind their backs and they find out you could lose more than just fire priviledges. (car, curfew, etc.)It's not worth it.------------------"There no such thing as bad weather, only wrong clothes."Pyromorph - Let the fire change you

FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
You all know that I'm a teacher so this advise is obviously gonna suck... Naaa, honestly, I'm not sure how safe I'd feel if one of my students was going to try fire. Especially outside of a community of trained safeties.I can say though, that the tried and true poi and glowstickers who were GOOD by the time that they switched over to fire kick serious butt... so get good... and in two years you'll be years ahead of all of us when you do light up.Honestly, the first few times I lit up all I was thinking was "dang, I wish I knew some tricks!" It'd be cool to go the other way around...If you really want to try to CONVINCE your parents to let you.. then I'd say you're gonna have to include one of them in the expeerience. I know that if my (hypothetical) kid came up to me randomly and asked me to light some stuff on fire I'd say heck no... but if it was something that I'd seen him practicing for months and he shared the experience with me... I might be more inclined to let him light up WITH ME when he was... I dunno... 17? Yikes, I guess I've never known anyone BEFORE they went into fire who did fire later... I guess it can be a bit intimidating seeing someone you care for light up for the first few times...

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
My parents were a bit apprehensive because they didn't really know what was involved. The idea of lighting kerosene and swinging around one's body does sound pretty dangerous on it's own.Put it in context with a few videos from Home Of Poi, and it makes it a little less crazy. =)

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
2 years is an infinite amount of time, especially when you're young!I agree with NYC. Educate them and get them involved! They may never be completely comfortable about it, but they can be persuaded to let you spin fire. Whenever I spin for family my mother always gets worried, it's the way most parents are wired!If you've been doing it for a few months you can tell and show them that you're good and you're dedicated. Parents don't want you to potentially scar yourself for a passing fad so prove it's something you really want to do.Show them pictures or vids of other performers to show them it's not such a mad idea. If you can get a video of someone doing wraps with fire it'll prove that it's really quite hard to set yourself alight! Might even be an idea to show them this site and others with all the safety info on them so they know you've thought it through properly. Involve them as a safety.Good luck, hope you spin fire soon. It's certainly a great experience!

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
WARNING BAD ADVISE AHEAD:just go do it. video yourself and edit out all the "see you can burnyourself" bits and show your parents. but maybe you have a diffrent relationship with your parents than i do.....

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Although I don't have kids myself, I'm old enough to come at this from the parents' perspective.Gheu--I have no idea what your folks are like, whether they are needlessly rigid, understandably concerned, or just under-informed.I don't think that a kid who wants to do fire should automatically do so. Nor do I think some adults should. But as a rule, when you are young, you are less aware of your own limits, you have less respect for your own limits, and you have less understanding of just how colossally you can fuck up. The best approach would be to find an existing community of firedancers you can practice with (fire-free, for now). Assuming the community is safety-oriented, bring your folks. Let them see what goes on--not just video footage of the actual performance (though that probably wouldn't hurt), but the sight of people standing around with towels, checking their equipment, etc. That should reassure them. Seeing what happens when someone screws up (which you generally won't see on tape) will also be important to your folks, because it'll help establish the parameters for "what's the worst that could happen"--which is probably what they are worried will happen to you. I doubt they are keeping you from lighting up just because they don't want you to have fun.

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
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EDITED_BY: Auger282 (1429498224)

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
My parents have seen me practicing for about two and a half months without fire. They thought it was funny at first cos I had no Idea what to do, then they got all worried cos I kept hitting myself in the head.Now I do whole sessions without hitting myself and my parents have picked up on this. When they asked what it was for I said my aim was fire poi before New Year and they've agreed to buy me some wicks for christmas if they can safety.I think my parents are cool about it cos I made no effort to hide it. I involved them by showing them new tricks, asking their advice and generally showing I'm responsible enough to try fire and aware of the risks too. They actually come out to watch me practice sometimes, but I don't think they'd let me do fire if I was still hitting myself!Impress + involve your parents and they might come round. If not, DO NOT do it behind their backs. You'll lose their trust and also confirm their suspicions that you're irresponsible.

Geologists do it in the dirt................

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
When I was younger, whenever I wanted to do something and I knew my parents were going to say "No", I just did it anyway and didn't tell them. This is probobly bad advice, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me, but if you can hide it from them for six month to a year, by the time they find out they will be so impressed with how good you are they may forget all about being mad. Untill then keep a change of clothes handy (like what some of my friends used to do when going and smoking or getting high, at a party) so you don't smell like kero when you come home.------------------If you love something, set it on fire.

Jesus helps me trick people.

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Well my parents were a bit concerned about me lighting my poi on fire, and I was 22 at the time Asking one of them to be your safety may not be a good idea. If they are already concerned about you getting burnt, you don't want to alarm them by telling them "if my hair catches alight..." Ask a friend to do it, that way it conveys the image that you both know what the dangers are, without having to describe them to your parents.I think the best arguement you can use is evidence that you can twirl the poi unlit and not hit yourself. I know that when I first lit up (after only a week or so of practice) I kept it very simple, only doing things I knew I could do. Show them the simple things and tell them that you practice unlit, then when you have the moves down, you will try them lit.------------------Courage is the man who can stop after just one peanut

Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
Look, it is all a matter of training. My parents did not even bat an eyelid when I told them that I was regularly spinning fire around my body on chains...thing is I have conditioned them for years by hurtling down mountains on my bike, scaling sheer cliffs, with silly little bolts holding my rope, kayaking raging rivers (actually, that can still scare the crap out of me...), jumping out of perfectly good planes...they probably think that this is a relatively safe thing for me to do...------------------fe fi foo fun

fe fi foo fun

Posted: 19th Dec 2001
This is a true storyIt happened to a freind of a friend of mineNo seriously...for me i think that as i had a freind who was already doing staff, and doing it pretty well. My parents had seen me with a big piece of wood on fire, hitting myself with it and not instantly going up in smoke.I find that most people seem to think that as sson as you hit yourself you are going to catch on fire and a horrible flame ridden death.I don't really know what im trying to say....maybe its that if you can educate your parents, they will see that even thought it does have some dangerous aspects....if done "properly" it is a very safe thing to do.The other option is to sit them down and say"Mum i am going to do one of the following things no matter what....you can choose what it is. Im either gonna fire twirl or smoke crack.....what do ya think."CheersAPB

Good on usGood on us all

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
My parents are pretty cool, it old them about the fire thing adn they werea little cautious. Buti informed them that if i burned mysaelf its my problem etc.. the only thing id want from them is that if it was bad and a hospitla trip was in store that theyed compleat the task for me..i think my mom is guilty cause when i was kid we had no money what so ever and i had hand me down sally anne clothes and for some reason gave me jam and cheese sandwiches for lunch.. once i got old enough and her buisiness took off i told her i was joinging the circus as she now buys t.v dinners for my sisters lunch... and i got fire toys.. fair trade i say..to shorten this up... my mom and dad think its very cool.. and i end up being the highlight of there little partys..

Teach tolerance, not competition.
Send food, not bombs.

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
I have the advantage of me being in south africa and my parents being in the US. So i just told them by email and sent them occasional pictures.. maybe try moving yer parents overseas!!

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
"If you don't get caught - there is no crime"Although this isn't the right attitude to have towards life - it is true. Let's be honest, parents are there to lie to:-Q:"Have you been drinking?"A:"I don't touch alcohol" *clinging on the floor for dear lifeQ:"Do you do drugs?"A:"I despise all narcotics!" *Talking to the hat-stand and giggling*Q:"You'll be back by 12 yes?"A:"I'll be asleep by 10!" (The next day as your off your face on E)------------------https://welcome.to/thehugbubble The Mug Shot Gallery Words to memerise, words hypnotise, words make my mouth exercise.

Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
Well dunno what to say to ya dude....Well my dad is not agree with me on this on poi.. he said is stupid but i do it anyways cause i love it i do it even if he doesnt like it i dont care.. blahAt least my mom thinks its cool(i was surpriced)once my dad asked me hey why the fuck you do it?i asnwered him well cause i really like it!i even get in free on nightclubs yes just for do it(poi i mean)Also got free stuff in the nightclub just cause YES i do it! he didnt asnwer me... after i said that lol[This message has been edited by NightShade1 (edited 21 December 2001).]

Dance like if noone were watching you

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
YOu know when youre about 13/14 and fascinated with fire/striking matches and your parents say - 'its just a phase'?With me that 'phase' has lasted nearly 10 years!!!I started out as a juggler before poi and staff entered my life, and I had been juggling for about four years before I first did it with fire.My folks knew I ultimately wanted to do fire, but said I should practice and get good at what I can do. I thank them for this now because I was able to get so many moves learned juggling normally that I just picked up the fire clubs and had performance worthy material already and my neighbours were suitably impressed!!! Now, with fire poi and staff, my parents were the ones who told me to do fire!!!!They could see that I was good at poi and staff and they went out and saw a fire performer and said I should go for it!! It was only because I was so sensible with juggling fire before that they knew I was capable and had a healthy 'respect' for fire and what it could do to me, so they gave me the go ahead.Now they love it and really enjoy watching the fire dance. My parents words were wise and because i listned, got good, now they enjoy the benefits and I can now go and earn money by playing with fire cos of what they said.I know it seems unfair now, but I found its better off in the long-run.

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
get some fire poi made and practice with them... I made some, lit them and started twirling and scared the s"*t out of myself... the weight etc. was totally different to my 'tennis balls'!I practiced for a bit with them unlit, then just started to do stuff I was reasonably comfortable with. I have my own house 100 miles away from home, so my parents dont get much say... they dont like the whole idea either thoughfind some other twirlers and have a go with them until you start to feel comfortable with it... i twirl mostly on my own (theres no one around me, appart from thistle and her mates in nottingham, but its too cold for them at the minuite which probably isnt a good thing, but i am reasonably comfortable with things and dont try new stuff until Ive got it down pat with the tennis balls!... ...in case your parents are reading, Im not sugesting to go beheind their backs... but it works for me!

you can take the cat out of the jungle, but you cant take the jungle out of the cat

Posted: 20th Dec 2001
Unfortunatly, this is one of those things where if I do go off and mess up somehow, they would loose all respect for me, and I would loose the many privilages I have (including the ability to use the car) so that is out of the question. Also geting them involved is inpossible, since my dad is 52 and mother close, so that doesnt' work out very well. I like the idea of the smoking crack or doing fire poi, but the chances of that working are nill, so right now all i'm going to do is keep on practicing and try to educate them about it. Some great ideas though.Deanage------------------A pig that doesn't fly is just an ordinary pig - Porco Rosso

A pig that doesn't fly is just an ordinary pig - Porco Rosso

Posted: 24th Dec 2001
weeeellll, im 16... i told my parents 'hey, im gonna firetwirl!', they let me get my shit together, i knew a few twirlers (but noone theyd ever met), it had to be at least 3 weeks of practise before i lit em (ended up being a few months. and yes, i know 3 weeks is a short time, but...shut up), and their only hesitation was that the people iw as gonna twirl with wouldnt look after me. SO we went down to the beach and watched em for a half-hour or so, before my parents drove away, leaving me to set fire to stuff in peace.also, they said if i got burnt i was grounded for new years (cute, eh?). so, um, the large blisters on my lip were caused by me PRACTISING (of COURSE they werent lit then!)take em out to see other twirlers (even if youre really embarassed about it). if you got twirling friends, let them meet them.or just go. go and set fire to em. youll be fine.

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 24th Dec 2001
At your age dude, there is *no* reason to rush. There are no awards for people who take the most risks in this pasttime, and not practicing sufficiently before lighting up is just asking for trouble.Practice practice practice...show your parents how into it you are, how dedicated you are and especially how much you are improving. From the sounds of it you and your parents have a bit of a respect thing going. dont blow it for the sake of a few burns...fire will still be there when you are ready for it.Besides, I think your parents would respect you all the more if you approach this whole thing with a bit of maturity, instead of that 'just lie to em, just set it on fire' blah that some people spout.and just remember, Trust is like a tree - takes years to grow strong, just seconds to destroy.Josh

Posted: 1st Jan 2002
i don't know.i guess i'm lucky. my mum offered to buy me fire chains. just tell them the safety rules, and how you'd go to special legnths to be safe.you could show them the fire safety page on HoP...Good Luck! Don't give up! cpg

Luv peace 'n' chicken grease Al X x

Posted: 2nd Jan 2002
my parents weren't to crash hot with the idea because i had just about set a tree on fire in our drive way (if it hadn't been for a guy with a fire extinguisher) when i was 15but i told her all the safety things and she eventually let me play but i'm not sure how your gonna get them to just ask every now and again but don't push it or they might just get upset and say something silly like i'm never gonig to let you------------------May the force be with you[This message has been edited by Jedi (edited 02 January 2002).]

May the force be with you