Forums > Social Chat > I need help. PLEEZE

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
holy crap!! your probably gonna think im a big freak.. but i know exsactly how you feel!!! i honesly couldnt tell you what to do because im not involved my instict would be talking to the police more.. perhaps a restraining order? im not sure if the laws over there are like the laws here but seriosly if these kids have done some bad stuff and are being held responsible for there actions chances are if they try other thing assulting you or harrassing they could get themselfs in big crapola..here e-mail me Anointed_cherub@hotmail.com------------------A Faeries Heart Beats Fierce and Free!!!!!

Teach tolerance, not competition.
Send food, not bombs.

Posted: 6th Sep 2001
what to do?1. no offence, but use better punctuation and spelling, I can barely understand what you are saying (no offence intended )2. Start taking "martial arts" classes.3. if you can't do that watch alot of kung fu movies and imitate their moves (like bruce lee, jackie chan, jet li, etc.)4. notify the authorities of your problem (police, teachers, priciples) everybody who can have a say in the matter5. if they mess with you wack them upside the head with a flaming poi.and if that fails you might try warning them...Example: If you mess with me again... I'm going to kill you, tell GOD you died and fuck you when I'm done!6. Make friends with people that know how to fight. They will back you up, (and remember bribery is legal)Example: "I'll give you $50 if you keep these guys from whoopin my ass"7. It might scare them off if you blew a fire ball in front of them, just a thought, don't go and hit them with it though...they might die, and you would go to jail. I got bullied at school too (on occation) when I was a kid, but I learned "self defence" like Tia Kwon Do, karate, wrestling, and Jujit Su. And it gave me the confidence and skills to not be afraid of anybody (except girls, especialy flashfire and pele ) There is no martial art that can prepare you for women I hope this helps, because I feel your pain, I realy do. Bullies suck. I tell you what, if you will buy me the plane ticket, I will woop their ass for you. seriousely. But it will probably be cheeper to bribe the local school tough guy to back you up. Good LuckPEACE LOVE FIREDanielWMF[This message has been edited by santanatwo (edited 07 September 2001).]

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

Posted: 6th Sep 2001
Bullies suck,,, i should know,, i was on both ends of the bullying.Just do what i did,, start making friends with the asian kids. I became really close with a few of them and it turns out that they were the leaders for everyone else(lucky me). They take care of their friends ,and there really isn't anything more intimidating than walking down the street witha group of 20 asian kids with ya that look all thugged.Funny thing is when you actually hang with them they break out the Robo mech style action figures and transformer stuff,, they are like big kids, and cool people.Granted it's a little cheesy but they started calling me the White Dragon. heheThats when Irealized I had power and their freindship.[This message has been edited by Naganootch (edited 07 September 2001).]

We are defined by the choices we make

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
I'm really sorry man. If worse comes to worse, BIG GUYS LIKE MONEY. Don't give the Bullies any money but pay a big guy to talk shit to them once and I'm sure they'll leave you alone. If you lived in Cali I'd rally up my friends for you and bully the bullies. I was in a situation like that, minus the cops, and I just stuck it out and they eventually got bored. They'll probably appologize to you later in life, just see what happens.EricI seriously feel for you bro.

Its about talent, not make up or costumes.

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Been there done got beat up . Learning Kung Fu (shaolindo), and Ninjitsu . Broke a board in front of them . They got scared and ran away . We are very good friends now . Teaching them Kung Fu now .

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Sorry to hear about your troubles. Not that I'm one to condone violence, but if it comes to it and you've got to defend yourself check out https://meme.essortment.com/strikingvitalp_rknt.htm&
learn the weak points. Other than that, talk to the police and see if you can get a restraining order (bear in mind any violence on your part won't look too good). Once you get to the new school, if it carries on, make sure you get loads of support from others/teachers/parents and kick up a big stink to get them expelled.Good luck,FPBTW, santanatwo, your spelling is not that hot either Pot...kettle...black?Isn't there any way

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Fireboy,I am really sincerely sorry for you , and I felt real anger reading all this and sure hope that things will get better.Please people, take no offense about what I am going to say but I really gotta say it anyway. The advise of taking martial art classes is the one I probably would have given you as well, since I have been practicing myself for more than 8 years now and it helped me a lot. What to pick ? Ju-jutsu / gracie ju-jutsu is really efficient BUT only against one oponent because there is a lot of ground work. Aikido, depending on how it is taught, can be good practice against many oponents. Style though is just a detail and your heart and taste will tell you what to pick. All are efficient, but for some, you don't see the efficiency as fast as for others. Watching Jacky chan (who by the way only does dancing from the Beijing opera style )or even watching a master like bruce lee isn't gonna do much IMHO. Jedimastah, I am glad that breaking a board helped you out, a friend of mine also told me he had done similar act and the people had run away (probably though they ran away because of the confidence they saw in your eyes rather than the board thing, no ?) However I have met some heavy aggressive freaks who would probably have burst out laughing if someone did that in front of them, not run away... please don't take it bad, OK ? just thought that it was a bit dangerous of an advise to give to someone...Glad you can ask for help, Fireboy, not everybody has the courage to do so. People here have given you precious advise, and that is emergency "treatment "of the problem. As for long term... yes, you can get into martial arts / self defense. But what matters is your confidence that was probably slightly broken by these people. You are a lot stronger than what you think now ! These are not just words, TRUST ME on that. mental plays a huge role... And don't let any dwarf ugly sticky wurm (yeah, I know, I suck at insults in english ) bully you and convince you that you are not strong. they are the weak ones, you know ?As for protection against women ... mmm... especially the fire ones like Flash and Pele... But isn't danger exciting though ? Shine on And please keep us postedcassandra[This message has been edited by cassandra (edited 07 September 2001).][This message has been edited by cassandra (edited 07 September 2001).]

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
This is way that worked for me and its totally non violent for once. What you should do is blackmail them. Bring a tape recorder into school. Then just record them when there being nasty. Then duplicate the tape and give it to the person saying youll send it to the head if they dont stop. That should work in more minor incidents but if they are like what i think they are it might be a bit of a problem. Youll have to be the judge in wether to do that because they might not care about being expelled and instead just beat the c***out of you.

I hope you realize how pissed I am.

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
You obviously have bravery within, my friend; seeking help and advice is the first and hardest step to a solution.I was bullied from primary school (4yrs old) to almost the end of secondary school (16 yrs old) so I can appreciate the situation you're in - at least in part. I can, in hindsight, say it made me stronger.The main problem seems to be the fact that these dick heads are gonna be at the school you want to go to - a place where they will have a clean slate with the authorities.First I wanna ask you to be VERY careful when searching the web for martial arts weak points (pressure points as we know them). Only if you are attending an officially sposored club and have an up to date license will you be able to use any such technique with legal backing - stepping to them and hitting a pressure point without training could lead to their death and your subsequent imprisonment. A license will provide you with at least some legal standing; provided the techniques you use are used in "necesasary force to defend yourself" you will be fine. Without said license you're fucked. Simple as that.As for advice on which martial art to adopt, I can only offer advice on those I have studied myself; Judo and Wado-Ryu Karate. Judo has the advantage of being a very close ranged grappling style which is where most school brawls go within about 10 seconds. Wado-Ryu Karate is generally accepted as being a very strong (sometimes brutal) form of the art. Many ranges are covered from kicking range (anywhere from 3ft to 15ft away - yes 15ft!) to strangulation range. ShotoKan Karate is, in my opinion, not adviseable as the central stance is very long and narrow, leaving you open to sweeping techniques and a general lack of good balance. But whichever style you choose (if any) you should be aware that it takes dedication and TIME to become skilled enough to hold your own. You can, however, learn to stop a fight before it starts if you can "appear" to be skilled without actually doing anything. As my Sensai told me; 1st rule of Karate - If you can avoid a fight then do so. 2nd rule of Karate - If a fight is unavoidable - get out the way (don't block if you don't have to, just step aside!). And always, ALWAYS remember that Krate is a DEFENSIVE dicipline, not a form of attack.Anyway, enough fighting talk. Decide why you want to go to this school - does it outweigh the nightmare of these bullies? If it does then try to get the school you are curerntly in to converse with the new school so they are aware of your past and the bullies - they will then be able to keep an eye on the situation. Bullying over here in the UK has now become a major issue and school kids are now being trained to deal with situations and how to councel others in your situation. The children being bullied now have legal rights and can apply for restaining orders etc. which not only keeps the bullies away but also empowers the individual so they realise they can handle this type of situation and get results.Well, I think I'll leave it at that but if you do want any advice (on martial arts especially) feel free to email me: jamesthek@hotmail.com...and good luck - you have taken the first and hardest step; time for you to finish this.------------------"We are all of us in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."

---------------------With a bit of luck, his life was ruined; always thinking that just behind some narrow door, in his favourite bars, men in red woolen suits are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Hey Black,yea I know my spelling sucks, but I looked over my post again and I couldn't find any misspelled words, though there are probably several.signedPotDear fireboy,I looked over the pressure points link above, there is some good information in it. Pressure points scare me though because they can kill somebody very easily (if executed by a trained person). One time a girlfriend of mine was getting beat by this guy and I kicked him in the chest (just to the left of the solar plexus) and broke some of his ribs. I could have killed him if the kick would have been two inches to the right, that is scary. That is also why I avoid fights at all costs. Most of the time you can talk your way out of a fight, I did a hundred times in school. Failing that, if you block all of their punches for about 20 seconds they will stop and start apologizing profusely and beg to be your friend (I know from experience). In fact I will not ever fight somebody unless I am protecting someone else, because I am afraid of doing something I will regret later. When a fight happens you don't have time to think about it. If your body is trained to do something, it will do it. If you are going to learn to fight you need to practice alot. Repetition is the key. after about 1000 kicks you won't have to think about it nearly as much. After about 10,000 kicks it WILL be a reflex. (you will be throwing front kicks in your sleep, I do) If you are going to learn it on your own, watch martial arts movies, but don't JUST watch them. Use slow motion on the movies and mimic the movements in a mirror, then once you learn a kick Practice, Practice, Practice. If you dedicate yourself you will progress very quickly. I have a friend who earned a black belt in just over two years, because he practiced ever day, for MANY hours each day.If you want me to teach you specifics my email address is santanatwo@yahoo.com When I was in 8th grade I had problems with some bullies for a long time . I told the teachers about it well in advance, and when they finaly pushed it to far the teachers just sat back and watched and I didn't get in trouble, cause the authorities knew I was in the right. So make sure you tell your teachers about what is going on, that way if you do have to "protect" yourself by whoopin some butts, you won't get in trouble. But by far the best thing to do is to make friends. If you have good friends, they won't let a couple of thugs mess with you PEACE LOVE FIREDanielWMF

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Fireboy,Listen closely, there has been much advice bandied about and lots of differing opinions, anyway here is the truth (as I see it of course) Do everything in your power to avoid a physical confrontation, most likely you are smaller and weaker than these people (because thats who bullies like to pick on)as it is "easier" for them.If a confrontation becomes inevitable, you must not have fear inside of you. You will lose if that happens. No tricks here, just dont concentrate on the maybes or what ifs.When or if it comes down to it these guys are not expecting anything out of you in terms of fight. Again thats why they are bullies. Real Simple now, hit them fast and hard and as often as you can. Hard to Soft and Soft to Hard. IE Your Fist to their Stomach, your extended Fingers to their Throats. Dont worry about any warnings you have read so far, it is nearly impossible for you to kill anyone with anything that you are going to read (Obviously excepting, Guns, Knives and Repeated Skull Bashing with a Cinder Block, I dont think any of that is going to happen) Now what will the end result of this be? you may well take some shots yourself, thats just the way these things go, but and this is the important part, you will come out a stronger person, you will know what you are capable of and most importantly you are not an easy target for these guys. They will take their Bullying somewhere else, because they know that doing anything to you risks their Nuts. Cause you will kick there, hard and without remorse. These are not your friends ( though you may end up with their respect) so feel no compunction about striking for their throats or punching kicking and clawing at Testicles, remember this is not a situation that you created, this is their problem. You still are responsible for your actions of course, but in this case you sound justified. Oh and compatriots are definitely a great idea, its just tough to always have backup. Also do let some authority figures know of your plight.Hope everything turns out well. Code128

------------------
A.N.T.H.E.L.I.O.N

Posted: 7th Sep 2001
Fireboy even if you lose it wont matter because people will realize that there are easier targets. If you are going to have a fight make a real spectacle so that everybodys hears about it. Avoid having fights when there is nobody around because then there will be no point to it.

I hope you realize how pissed I am.

Posted: 8th Sep 2001
Fire boy-i have a lot of mixxed feelings about the advice givin here. as i do about school in the first place..i dont think trying ot beat them up is a smart thing nor black mail etc. because it just fuels the fire.. i would handel the situation as adult like as possible. by tlaking to the police (teachers dont do a damn thing) ive had my runs ins with bullies at school, ive been beat up with baseball bats, hockey sticks, i even had an ex boyfriend coem to school and beat the crap out of me (i sure pick good huh) any how the teachers dont give a flying **** in a dough nut hole i think you should go to the police... restraining order is the answer for now i hope your ok.. *many hugs* as i know exsactly what you feel like..------------------A Faeries Heart Beats Fierce and Free!!!!!

Teach tolerance, not competition.
Send food, not bombs.

Posted: 8th Sep 2001
Try as much as you can not to fight.Avoid them when you can, be descrete, and don't look like the frightened rabbit or anything Don't be afraid to face them and talk to them one on one, but don't say anything you'll regret, avoid the name calling and insults. If they are verbally harassing you, let it go over your head. They'll get bored. If they move, I suggest going to higher authority.IF and when you are caught alone and they close in on you for a little 'rumble', give them the stuff, show them it isn't smart to pick on people. But ONLY if you have no choice. Because, by fighting, you're now in the wrong too.Take care, tread carefully, be wise, think ahead. You'll be alright.-=M-D=-

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 9th Sep 2001
Sounds pretty damned harsh, bullies are fuc**ng twats, i used to think that if you were good to everyone, everyone was good to you - not so. My advice to you is to try and stay out of the way, change your routines a bit etc. If this doesnt work try the friendly aproach - offer to buy each a pint, and try to resolve the whole thing, if this doesnt work then they are just sadistic nobs. Now the only way to defeat a bully is to show them they cant win (the only reason they do it is because they know they will win) as soon as this is reversed they will run away with their tails in between their legs. violence should be avoided if possible, however somtimes it is necessary. Intimidation is often a good technique for getting somone off your back, for this though you need to see each of them separately. get bully twat against a wall by grabbing throat and squeezing whilst other hand is used to push the rest of the body, once back is against wall and firm grip is established, it is time to give him a severe talking to, try to scare them as much as possible. It takes a lot of balls to make this move, but they must learn otherwise they'll get away with it all their lives.If you do not like this idea then only other option in my books would be to get yourself some big hard bastard mates and stick close to them, or pay someone to break their legs, then set fire to their houses for good measure!!! Hope you dont think im a raving looney and best of luck with sorting it all out. Phil

Posted: 9th Sep 2001
Fireboy,Just a few quick questions.#1. What grade are you in?#2. Have you talked to your parents, and explained what is going on?I know that a lot of advice has been slung around here. Most of it ok, but a lot could end up with detrimental effects in the long run. The best advice that I can give you is this. Use your head, remember that All OF THE PEOPLE that are picking on you now will TOTALLY fade from your life and you will never has to deal with them again. So don't do anything that will haunt you for the rest of your life.The reason that I say this is because I know from it first hand. I was picked un unmercifully in grade school and high school. (I was 4'10" till I hit sophomore year) If nothing else I can tell you first hand what it is like to be stuffed in a gym locker for over 30 min is like. My only thing that I ask is please talk to a "grown up" before thinking of getting into a fight. ------------------Blessings to all, Peter "There is a rhythm that unites us with the natural world. The more we learnto feel that rhythm and get it into the mainstream of our lives, thestronger can be our spirit."--- Robert Rodale

Blessings to all,
Peter
When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon ...you just have to outrun the halfling.

Posted: 9th Sep 2001
I'm gonna play devil's advocate and straight out disagree with most everyone so far who's posted. Not to just be a jerk, but because frankly, I have NO idea what's going on in the original post.I don't think that there's enough information IN your post, Fireboy, for anyone to give sound advise. It sounds like you're in over your head. If your paniced enough to post on a poi website, you're clearly looking for help. Unfortunately I don't think this is the place to get it. We're all friends here but none of us, including myself, has the counseling background or crisis intervention training that you need. You need to find someone who does. There are many free services, perhaps in your school, where you can talk confidentially about whatever nightmare you may have walked into. I hate to sound like a public service announcement BUT I know that there are people who could help you solve whatever problems you're dealing with. I'd find a grownup that you like and let them know your problem. There's gotta be ONE teacher/counselor/mentor that's cool enough to handle this in your life. If not, settle for the coolest one. As a teacher myself, I know that most teachers are old and out of touch or dont want to get involved, but there are a few of us that are still with it... find us.Life sucks when you're overwhelemed and it doesn't need to be that way. I'm glad you're asking for help. That's very important. Now you need to ask for help from someone that can truely help you. Frankly, we can't.You're not alone. Being a teenager was tough for most of us. My childhood crap gave me the incentive to get out on my own and do my own thing. If you can find the strength to build on this, whatever it is, you will be a stronger person. I did, and I am. Good luck dude.

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Posted: 9th Sep 2001
Here's my advice, but like NYC said, i dont have background in counseling, I only speak from my personal experience.I had a similar problem, people made fun of me, picked on me, and just generally bullied me around. I found out the hard way that what they teach in school to deal with this(ie: tell a teacher, talk it out, etc...),doesnt really help, or in some cases makes it work. What really helped me out was making new friends, hanging out with new groups of people. Once people started seeing that I wasnt this lonely reject kid who had no friends, the bullies left me alone.Martial arts will help you, however, IMHO, it will help you get more confidence in yourself than in actual fighting.

Posted: 9th Sep 2001
Umm i got a question.I used to get bullied,, but made friends with kids and they helped me out.Now it's seems alot of people here have been bullied in there life. I'm not sure how to phrase this right.My buddy who was bullied also does poi. And i'm starting to see alot of people(who do poi) i meet were bullied 2. Is there some sorta connection? Like did we subconsciously start this for attention, or for bragging rights"like we are better than you :>p".Or are the freinds we did make did it so we followed suit thinking it was cool.Hell when i spin now i love to have a few people watch, it makes you feel good. And it's rare that someone actually acts like a dick when they see it.

We are defined by the choices we make

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
Naganootch:Its not really the case for me, at least not consiously. I started poi because I like to play with skill toys (and I liked the swirly colors ). You have no idea how much fun people made of me when I started yo-yos and tops (poi wasnt that bad). And as for getting a crowd, Im kinda shy, so if people start gathering around me I get nervous and stop or mess up really bad. I find that bragging rights dont really matter if the other people dont do the same things too (ie: Me: Ha! I can do poi and you cant! Them: Ok, so? Me: ummm... nevermind...)

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
Hey Fireboy, you are obviously upset, and your cry for help didnt say much...however cuz I've been there too (although not as severe) I'll do my best to give you good advice.I've taught Kids Karate(tm) a style designed for kids, and I've been a bullied kid and a martial artist etc etc all that.I have to say that anyone who thinks they can teach effective self-defense martial arts via email or website, doesnt understand the process of teaching effective martial arts (simple as that). They especially dont understand the psychology of conflict. If you try to beat the crap out of them using some 1/2 assed technicques you got off the web, you may (if you are really lucky) beat them, or scare them off (this may result in you getting really F**ked up with baseball bats in a sitution where there is no-one around to help you)...otherwise you are going to give them a really good reason to put you in hospital. Either way you are escalating the violence.There is no martial art that will make a strong fighter overnight...taking martial arts (while I think it is the best thing you could do, not just for your current self-defense needs, but for your life as a whole) is a very long term fix. It will take years before you will be strong enough (in every sense of the word) to fight off several determined older/stronger/larger opponents with confidence. Karate kids get beaten up all the time.This sounds very negative, and unfortunately, I think it is a bit of a bad outlook. Australian Schools are very very bad in dealing with bullying, for all their policies not much is changing. Talk to your parents, voice your concerns to them, and also talk to the teachers at the school you are going to. When you get there, the Kids may not even bother with you. I can remember going to highschool thinking that the kids that used to give me crap in primary school would be waiting to get me, but most of them couldnt give a crap.If something happens, immediately tell the teacher on duty, show off any blood, call your parents, and tell the principal. get your parents to come to the school and bring the cops.Now restraining orders do exist here, and kids do get expelled. If you think your life is actually in danger (I doubt it) perhaps you shouldn't go to that school.Also - find a martial art that deals with contemporay self-defense situations (avoid most very traditional styles) and get into it. Train alot. train seriously.movies and websites are not very good places to learn martial arts, and will do more harm than good (to you).While it might be hard for a kid to actually kill someone, it's not hard for a trained adult - and its really easy for anyone grandma to 12 year old to do serious permanent injury to someone. No matter what you will look very very bad if you blind some kid for giving you a punch in the guts. Its better to get the kid expelled / suspended.JoshPS - dont forget the power of the media...if problems persist, call your local newspaper, and get them into the school to talk to the prinicpal about why they arent doing anything about the continued assults / harrassment against younger students at their school. I guarantee you wont have any problems after that, cuz the principal will look really bad in the eyes of the community, and that will put them out of a job.

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
go to the coppas, tell them you are worried about your own safety as well as possibly other people and you would like something done. get any physical evidence you can just in case, generally the cops should visit the assholes and let them know if anything is done to you by them or their friends serious penalties will apply. the cops will intimidate them on your behalf for added value if you make them believe it is necissary, exadurate if you must. it will pay off in the end, let shit die down a bit and look after your wellbeinghope it goes okay, peace

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
Hi,First off, I'm a teacher. Someone said that teachers don't care, that is incorrect. Some teachers may not care, however the majority does. A few tips on self defense...1.Most importantly get adults involved, do NOT try and go this alone. You need to talk to everyone that will sit still and listen, parents, teachers, counselor, principal, even the media if no one else will listen. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the attention. Violence is not the answer in this situation. Don't get me wrong, martial arts is great but if the other guy has a gun you're in deep trouble.2. Stay with crowds. Stay close to an adult. You'll be less of a target that way. See if your folks will pick you up and take you to school. 3. Stay alert. Don't put your self in a place where you don't have an escape or where you can be an easy target ( ie: an empty locker room.) I hope this helps you. Hang in there hon, this will pass and you're not alone.------------------AislinnTribe Rolling Thunder, Sisterhood of the SerpentThe Rolling Thunder web site -- https://www.geocities.com/aislinn0325/drum.htm
* Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness. *

Aislinn
Tribe Rolling Thunder, Sisterhood of the Serpent
* Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness. *

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
OK, first up, as you can see from the long list of replies here, there are people who care about this. Take strength from this - you aren't alone. Not here, and not where ever you are 'in real life'.I was the 'victim of choice' when I was at school. Short kid, glasses, good grades, weird surname. Every single day, for years. Sometimes verbal, sometimes physical violenceIt's not personal. It's not really about you at all. It's about them. Everything these bullies did is about them. Not about you. It's very easy to get into a siege mentality and start to believe that there must be something bad about yourself that makes you a target. It's not true. It's all about them - their feelings, their weakness (really!), their dumb idiot asshole stupidity. It's not about you.Since these cretins are getting expelled, clearly the situation is bad enough that the school has already taken notice. And if the police are involved, they'll have these kids on their records for a long time, and will act if they cause more trouble. So, take strength from knowing that you have that card ready to play IF you have to.Now, you say they're going to the school you want to go to. I don't know what school that is, or your reasons for wanting to go there, but from my position of ignorance here, I ask myself, why do you want to go to the sort of school that's prepared to take these people? If it's for the courses they offer, the quality of teaching and so on, then don't let these morons get in YOUR way, as you build YOUR life. If you want to go there because all your friends are planning to go there too, then remember you won't be alone there. And, again, take strength from that.This discussion rapidly moved onto the subject of Martial Arts. I took up Judo at school. It didn't help in terms of winning the fights, but it did help in terms of confidence, of inner strength, of knowing that the fights didn't actually matter. But my Sensei said the same very wise thing Jangla's Sensei said - the most effective form of self defense is to not get into fights, and the second best is to run away. since then, I've dabbled in Shotokan Karate, Samurai Jiu-Jitsu, and more recently I've got into Tai Chi a bit more deeply. Of these, if you do want to follow the Martial Arts route, I'd say the Samurai Jiu-Jitsu probably gave the quickest route to some useful, practical stuff. But that's not really the point.What really put an end to it was when, after years of being told 'if you fight back, they'll stop' I finally snapped. Not a conscious, planned decision, just a red mist of total fury one day that this total £%^"ing moron was doing this £$%&$% to me AGAIN. And it didn't feel good looking at him lying on the ground crying his eyes out. It felt like one of the worst things in the world. As it ought to, if you eventually have to resort to violence against violence.But what matters more, and probably sounds like total crap at your age, is to remember - it's nothing personal, it's not about you. Because eventually, in what one day will seem like a really short time, even if it's years now, you will leave these people behind and get on with your life as they get on with theirs. And from that point, if you let them under your skin, they'll stay there tormenting you, for a long long time. But if you remember, it's not about you, it's their weakness, their stupidity, their inability to deal with situations, and one day, their 10 years in the slammer for violent crimes if they don't sort their lives out, then when they're gone, you'll still be there, head held high, free and in control of your life, and you'l look back and realise, one glorious day, that...You won, they lost.I won, they lost.Take strength from this.mikeyB

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
By far the best thing to do is avoid a confrontation. avoid them whenever possible. If they corner, you talk you way out of it, don't talk trash. If they start to kick your but though...It is all about the mindset. NO FEAR, Hit them as fast, hard and repeatedly as you can and don't stop till they are crying or unconciouse. Josh gave some good advise, also. Martial arts take time and dedication to transform a person. The most important thing about martial arts is not just do the moves by yourself, you must play fight against somebody else to hone your skills and learn the reflexes required for defence and offence.Naganootch,As for why I started poi, I thought it was Kung Fu for the first four months (we were using chains with steel weights on the end!)...never even heard of poi till about five months ago.

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

Posted: 10th Sep 2001
To fireboy and everyone else - first thing - he is in Australia, and tips from people that grew up in the USA are probably not going to be that useful to his situation. Things are different there. My family lived in Australia during the mid to late sixies (just before I was born) and my brother has attended school both there and here. Here he was pretty dominate. There, he generally tried to avoid people and even school as much as possible (he would often just turn off into the woods while walking to school and spend all day there). While I'm sure things have changed in the last 35 years, both in the USA and Australia, I'm willing to bet he is dealing with an entirely different situation than we think.Also, Fireboy never said this was about a fight. It could be some other thing entirely - for instance, drug dealers love to frame up other people for their transgressions, even in high school. And anyway, fighting is going to make him more likely to be expelled (even in Australia I think) if that is what is going on. But then being a tattle-tale is not going to help his situation much either, at least socially.But if it does come down to a fight, here is what my father always told me. Don't provoke attacks, and never ever start fights. But if someone else does start it and you are forced to defend yourself, don't pretend a fight has any honor or rules, because they don't. Be ruthless in your self defense - no one will blame a smaller person for hurting a bigger person that is physically threatening them (except perhaps a school official). If the guys are bigger than you, get inside their fists fast (even if you have to let them land a hit or two on your way in - it's better than being clobbered continually at a distance without being able to get at them), then and claw their eyes, slap their ears till they ring, smash their gonads, destroy whatever is tender and within your reach. Be like a badger - small but quick and merciless. Even bears and big cats won't mess with badgers once they learn what they are like. Act like this, and they'll back off quickly because they weren't expecting you to be so brutal.Pressure points and martial arts are good if you are well trained with them, but probably not something you are going to remember in the heat of battle if you aren't. If you get inside their defenses, even a martial artist can't stop you from landing some telling blows. But then, someone good at martial arts will not let you inside their defenses. But I doubt anyone you are up against will be that good.As far as watching martial arts in movies and applying that to real battle - in most cases don't. Roundhouse kicks and such look great on film, but are slow to execute and anyone with any speed can see it coming and take you apart long before you get your hit in. In real fights, keep your kicks low. A high kick means you are easy to knock over, and for gods sake, don't let yourself get knocked down! Kicks to the knee and foot stomps with your heel are good though, but put the weight of your body behind them - kick through, not at. And if you manage to get someone else on the ground - do not wait for them to get up! kick them w/o mercy (in the head, in the chest, in the groin), fall with your knee into their chest, whatever, but don't give them time to recover. And if someone gets you into a head lock or something like that, claw their eyes, stomp on their feet, pull on their testes - but then again, you should already be doing these things anyway. Don't worry about if you are going to hurt them, because they have already decided to hurt you. Once the fight is engaged, there is no reason to be anything less than apocolyptic about it.This sounds viscious I know, but if you are forced to fight, this is the only way to survive. But better to avoid the fight altogether.One other thing - sometimes fighting to win isn't always the best solution. I made the mistake of decisively winning a fight with one of the big jocks at my high school. Next thing I knew, all the jocks wanted a piece of me to prove they were tougher than the one I took out. After a whole series of fights over the following months, I finally realized this and took a fall (one that didn't really hurt but looked good for the other person). That was the last fight I ever had to deal with in high school.Finally, All I can really say is that I don't know what your situation is and I hope you don't have to use the advice above. I can't help you further without better knowledge of what is going on. Adolescence is pretty much hell for anyone who is interesting at all. But life does get better, and people more reasonable once you get older (and the real wankers wind up in jail or dead or working construction jobs or becoming president of the US). Perseverance is your only real weapon right now - use it. And, fireboy, if you want someone to chat with this about more specifically and not on a bulletin board, my email is henize@spacsun.rice.edugood luck. -v-

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 11th Sep 2001
Vanize, good advise and techniques. I think the only thing you didn't put in there was another way of getting out of a choke....Grab one finger of the offending hand and bend it backwards till the choker lets go. It probly won't break unless ou do it quick, but no matter what, they WILL let go. They can't help it, it is a reflex. I used this just the other day, in a friendly match, I didn't break it, I didn't even hurt him, but he sure let go quick. I had to feel around for a second to find a finger, but it worked.

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

Posted: 11th Sep 2001
Thanks to all who have helped me by relpying to my message i have taken everybodies advise.thanks to allFIREBOY :0

Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

Posted: 12th Sep 2001
fisrt let me say if you pay someone to fight for you, or pay them to leave you alone...you deserve to get your ass kicked. You will regret something like that the rest of your life. Have some pride, and stand up for yourself. Dont go looking for trouble but, when it comes looking for you, send it home with its tail between its legs!!i was the only white kid in my neighborhood..literally.For the first 1 1/2 i lived there, i had the shit kicked outta me at least once every 3 weeks or so. We moved there when i was 13. This kid Ricky Harris composed about 90% of my ass kickings. Fucker even stole my bike, and my mom sent the police down to his house. His mom said he had been there all day, and he had dumped the bike so they never found it, despite the fact i saw his ass riding off on it when i was at the pool. He was 19 yrs old and had dropped out of school. During that first 6 months or so, i would just lay down and cover my face and head and just absorb the punishment. It was that or run, and sometimes i could get away, but most of the time not.I too started in Martial Arts. I have been training in Soo Bak Do for almost 12yrs now. So learning some type of self defense is a good start, but the main thing is to show them that you are not going to take their shit anymore!!!!After about the 5th time of me just laying there letting him hit and kick on me, and having other people know that i was the neighborhood bitch, i finally got tired of that shit. I went to the park to play ball, and after about an hour, here he came with his other punk-ass friend. People told me id better go, which in most cases i would hop my bike and be gone when i saw him coming. But this time i stayed. Like fucking clockwork he walked up to me and immediately started shit. As soon as he made like he was going to touch me, i went ape-fucking shit on him. I jumpoed on his lanky ass and started whaling. I know i clocked him solid at least 5 or six times, then i i was pulled off by his assuddy, and he proceed to hit on me as well. I kept swinging untill i fell. I guess i had earned someones respect, because couple of guys that i really didnt even know pulled them off of me. My mom flipped when she saw me. My eye was busted pretty bad, along with the fattest lip i had ever had. She wanted to press charges, but i talked her out of it, insisting it would only make matters worse.After that day, we still had our conflicts, but they gradually got less physical. I would say the next three were physical, but after he realized that i wasnt going to stand there and let him pound on me, if he was by himself, he wouldnt let it escalate more than pushing, cause God willing i was ready to fuck his world, because i was tired of it. Also i haf gained some respect from some of the other people. I wasnt always alone when i fought. I had my other run -0ins with people that didnt know me here and there from other neighborhoods, most of the time ill try to talk my way out of a situation cause getting hit is not fun, and these days you could have a gun pulled on you (which i might add is not fun)I dont like to fight, i hate it. I will always try to avoid confrontation. Epsecially now that i have trained for so long. Hell im not bruce Lee, but the average punk kid that wants to throw down will get hurt, and i dont want that on my head. At this stage i usually latch on to them, take them to the ground and keep them imobilized untill they figure out that i control the situation, and they are in way way over their head.Bullies will keep on you as long as they know you are afraid of them. When you show them that they cant rule you with fear, they will start to leave you alone. Keep the fight one on one. If they want to bring someone else into the equation, then thats when you do the same. But the sooner you let them know you are not going to take thier shit anymore the better. I promise, youll get hit. Suck it up. If you cant reason with them sensably then you have no more choice. Keep your chin down, your hands up and your eyes open. When your fear is replaced with confidence, you will have a natural high. All things come full circle in the end. Ricky Harris was shot on the bridge next to my house about 4 months after the last time he fucked with me. He started some shit with the wrong people and he payed with his life. I dont feel for him. That happening was inevidible. (i didnt have anything to do with it)If i wear there, i would teach you how to drop that punk. and i would have your back.There is nothing that he can do to you that you cannot do to him.make a mistake in action is better than not acting at all...Super'------------------"When a Man Lies He Murders Some Part of the World These Are the PaleDeaths Which Men Miscall Their Lives All this I Cannot Bear to Witness Any Longer Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation Take Me Home"[This message has been edited by Superman (edited 13 September 2001).]

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.


- Mark Twain

Posted: 12th May 2007
hey look your problem sounds pretty bad hey.. have you thought about a different school? usually ppl bully others because they are jealous of what u have accomplished & they have'nt even got close.. or the other is they get bullied outside school so they take it out on the weakest link...i know its hard but try and put them behimd you, look forward to what will come in the future.. good luck darl..