Forums > Social Chat > The closet
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HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Ok, I'm going to go ahead and stick my neck out here. There's a lot that's happened in my life these last several weeks and I'd like to talk about it briefly since I think it's time to be honest with this board.
A little over a month ago, a friend of mine and I were having dinner together and I said to her, "So...I think I might be gay." And that's how it started.
These last few weeks have been spent coming to terms with this truth about myself that I have so carefully suppressed for the last 25 years. I've lied to people (told them I was straight, lying through my teeth in the process), lied to myself, broken hearts, and caused too much mayhem. I decided that it was time to stop the insanity, it was time to stop having deep, dark secrets and being terrified of being discovered.
So, hi, everyone. My name is Mike. I'm the same Mike you've known since I first showed up here.
And I'm gay.
Anyone surprised?
Today was a major milestone: I came out to my parents and they took it reasonably well! So, for the first time in my life, I feel like a whole person, like I have a sense of my place in the universe, who and what I am, and where I'm going. No more secrets, no more lies, no more charades. I live in a really Queer-friendly town, my friends have all been supportive (or at least indifferent), and my profession is completely indifferent to what I do in my off hours.
Now, I'm not going to suddenly go loopy and start wearing Abercrombie&Fitch everywhere and getting my hair done at professional hairdressers and maincures and all that stuff. I'm still the grungy, slightly hippie candy raver that I always have been. I'm just very much at peace with myself now.
I know this isn't going to go over well with everyone on the board. Some people here think that it's a sin to be what I am. To them, I challenge them to ask if G-d made me just to condemn me to hell, given all the good I have to offer to the world, the lives I'll save, the people I'll help, and the discoveries I'll make. Can you honestly believe in such a cruel and malevolent god? I can't.
For the rest of you, I'm willing to discuss this. For starters, I'm curious as to the paucity of Queer spinners. Anyone else noticed that?
Ok, I'm going to go ahead and stick my neck out here. There's a lot that's happened in my life these last several weeks and I'd like to talk about it briefly since I think it's time to be honest with this board.
A little over a month ago, a friend of mine and I were having dinner together and I said to her, "So...I think I might be gay." And that's how it started.
These last few weeks have been spent coming to terms with this truth about myself that I have so carefully suppressed for the last 25 years. I've lied to people (told them I was straight, lying through my teeth in the process), lied to myself, broken hearts, and caused too much mayhem. I decided that it was time to stop the insanity, it was time to stop having deep, dark secrets and being terrified of being discovered.
So, hi, everyone. My name is Mike. I'm the same Mike you've known since I first showed up here.
And I'm gay.
Anyone surprised?
Today was a major milestone: I came out to my parents and they took it reasonably well! So, for the first time in my life, I feel like a whole person, like I have a sense of my place in the universe, who and what I am, and where I'm going. No more secrets, no more lies, no more charades. I live in a really Queer-friendly town, my friends have all been supportive (or at least indifferent), and my profession is completely indifferent to what I do in my off hours.
Now, I'm not going to suddenly go loopy and start wearing Abercrombie&Fitch everywhere and getting my hair done at professional hairdressers and maincures and all that stuff. I'm still the grungy, slightly hippie candy raver that I always have been. I'm just very much at peace with myself now.
I know this isn't going to go over well with everyone on the board. Some people here think that it's a sin to be what I am. To them, I challenge them to ask if G-d made me just to condemn me to hell, given all the good I have to offer to the world, the lives I'll save, the people I'll help, and the discoveries I'll make. Can you honestly believe in such a cruel and malevolent god? I can't.
For the rest of you, I'm willing to discuss this. For starters, I'm curious as to the paucity of Queer spinners. Anyone else noticed that?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
Posted:
So how did that speed dating thingy go?
(am i the only one who has been wondering that??)
((or have you already answered and i missed it?!?)
So how did that speed dating thingy go?
(am i the only one who has been wondering that??)
((or have you already answered and i missed it?!?)
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Speed dating? I didn't go speed dating.
Speed dating? I didn't go speed dating.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
Posted:
i thought you did..
ok then..
who was it?
i thought you did..
ok then..
who was it?
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Well...hard to believe it's been a year since I came out, eh?
Well...hard to believe it's been a year since I came out, eh?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Posted:
That's awesome Mike
and from the sounds of it, everything's been going well, and turned out alright!
I think my own battle is just beginning... But everyone can read that in the other section
~ Bobo
That's awesome Mike
and from the sounds of it, everything's been going well, and turned out alright! I think my own battle is just beginning... But everyone can read that in the other section
~ Bobo
wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier
GOLD Member
Captain Shawnie the Dreaded
126 posts
Location: Canada
Captain Shawnie the Dreaded
126 posts
Location: Canada
Posted:
Right on Lightning!
That deserves a party (or at least a drink)
Cheers!
Right on Lightning!
That deserves a party (or at least a drink)
Cheers!
Quantum Theorist
564 posts
Location: Vansterdam
564 posts
Location: Vansterdam
Posted:
wow a year!
lets all give Lightning a big group hug
wow a year!
lets all give Lightning a big group hug
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
can i join in with the hugs?
for mike!!!!
can i join in with the hugs?
for mike!!!! i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
SILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom
Posted:
nice one doc
nice one doc
"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Not only are you out of the closet... but a role model.
Your positive contributions to this board are unmeasurable.
And besides, one less good looking straight guy means one more available straight girl for me.
Not only are you out of the closet... but a role model.
Your positive contributions to this board are unmeasurable.
And besides, one less good looking straight guy means one more available straight girl for me.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
GOLD Member
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
2,723 posts
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
2,723 posts
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Posted:
Congrats on your first year out, Lightning!
I'll "celebrate" my 11th year out come August.
Of course, I had to come out to Mom all over again in 2000, and finally came out to Dad then. He knew...he and Mom are still happily married, and they talk. It just took me 7 years to get the gumption up to actually *talk* to him.
Mom didn't believe I was really gay, hence coming out to her again.
It was another intense discussion, but worth it. That I'm gay is no longer a taboo subject. In fact, Mom and Dad are very eager to meet Mand.
Now...if I could convince Mom that Bush is an insensitive homophobic moron who wants to pass a constitutional amendment that actually discriminates.......
I guess Rome wasn't built in a day, and Mom's beliefs won't be molded all that easily....or something like that.
Anyway.....:D
EDITED_BY: SpitFire (1082986548)
Congrats on your first year out, Lightning!
I'll "celebrate" my 11th year out come August.
Of course, I had to come out to Mom all over again in 2000, and finally came out to Dad then. He knew...he and Mom are still happily married, and they talk. It just took me 7 years to get the gumption up to actually *talk* to him.
Mom didn't believe I was really gay, hence coming out to her again.
It was another intense discussion, but worth it. That I'm gay is no longer a taboo subject. In fact, Mom and Dad are very eager to meet Mand.
Now...if I could convince Mom that Bush is an insensitive homophobic moron who wants to pass a constitutional amendment that actually discriminates.......
I guess Rome wasn't built in a day, and Mom's beliefs won't be molded all that easily....or something like that.Anyway.....:D
EDITED_BY: SpitFire (1082986548)
Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
How is it that I completely missed this thread the first time around?
I mean I know there was a point that Lightning started being more openly gay, but I thought he was just getting more comfortable with the people here. I didn't know there was a "coming out" post.
So to answer your original question - no, I wasn't suprised that you were/are gay Lightning. I wasn't suprised when I first saw plain indications of it on HoP (after this thread started I guess), and I am of course not suprised now.
Actually, what suprises me sometimes is that I'm not gay. I'm beginning to see why I set off people's gaydar so often, but I guess I've just gotten too much positive reinforcement in feminine shapes over the years. Oh well.
still wondering how I could have possibly missed this thread till now though...
How is it that I completely missed this thread the first time around?
I mean I know there was a point that Lightning started being more openly gay, but I thought he was just getting more comfortable with the people here. I didn't know there was a "coming out" post.
So to answer your original question - no, I wasn't suprised that you were/are gay Lightning. I wasn't suprised when I first saw plain indications of it on HoP (after this thread started I guess), and I am of course not suprised now.
Actually, what suprises me sometimes is that I'm not gay. I'm beginning to see why I set off people's gaydar so often, but I guess I've just gotten too much positive reinforcement in feminine shapes over the years.
Oh well. still wondering how I could have possibly missed this thread till now though...
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
GOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
Posted:
I hope your brave move has given you a happy year Mike and many more to follow
I hope your brave move has given you a happy year Mike and many more to follow
Let's relight this forum 
ambiguous
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
Posted:
Congrats again mike
Congrats again mike
_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................
SILVER Member
Keeper of the Spitfire
2,317 posts
Location: Calgary Canada
Keeper of the Spitfire
2,317 posts
Location: Calgary Canada
Posted:
Nice one Mike.
It seems I managed to miss this post aswell.
I'm glad you've managed to find peace in yourself.
I'm halfway there, after coming out to myself 4 yrs ago, and to my friends since then.
I've still got my parents to tell though, and this scares the hell out me more than anything. I guess they could really do with knowing about Spitfire though... or that one could be quite hard to explain in a few years time!
Nice one Mike.
It seems I managed to miss this post aswell.
I'm glad you've managed to find peace in yourself.
I'm halfway there, after coming out to myself 4 yrs ago, and to my friends since then.
I've still got my parents to tell though, and this scares the hell out me more than anything. I guess they could really do with knowing about Spitfire though... or that one could be quite hard to explain in a few years time!
Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.
GOLD Member
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
2,723 posts
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
2,723 posts
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Posted:
It's a scary thing, Mand, and you and I've had many conversations about it. Do it in your time, when you're comfortable.
It's a scary thing, Mand, and you and I've had many conversations about it. Do it in your time, when you're comfortable.
Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Those of you who missed it probably did so because it happened a year ago.
Those of you who missed it probably did so because it happened a year ago.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
still, it seems like I should have noticed it a year ago. it's not like I wasn't here...
or maybe I wasn't now that I think about it. I took a HoP time out somewhere back then because certain things were getting under my skin and then I went on a month long trip too...
Ah well, at least i'm caught up now.
still, it seems like I should have noticed it a year ago. it's not like I wasn't here...
or maybe I wasn't now that I think about it. I took a HoP time out somewhere back then because certain things were getting under my skin and then I went on a month long trip too...
Ah well, at least i'm caught up now.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
veteran
1,453 posts
Location: Lancs England
Posted:
Hummm well done L
I'm Bi and only came out when I came to Manchester uni none of my old mates know yet not sure if I’m going to tell them but most of my new mates do and they are all fine with it even tease me a bit in a playful way
don’t think ill tell my parents ither (YET)
Hummm well done L
I'm Bi and only came out when I came to Manchester uni none of my old mates know yet not sure if I’m going to tell them but most of my new mates do and they are all fine with it even tease me a bit in a playful way
don’t think ill tell my parents ither (YET)
before i met those lot i thought they'd be a bunch of dreadlocked hippies that smoked, set things on fire ,and drank a lot of tea but then when i met them....oh wait (PyroWill)
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