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Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
My boyfriend has gone to South America for four months! It's going to be a long, dark, cold and lonely winter. Also, when he comes back, he's moving to London so we're not really going to be a couple anymore. He says he doesn't do long distance relationships because in the end that never works. But what if we really like each other? Should I just give up on him and try to just see him as a friend?

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


FireTomStargazer
6,650 posts

Posted:
hug

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
oh Anne frown
that's such sad news. hug
Never give up hun, there's always hope.
You never know, this time away might make him realise just how much he misses you! biggrin
I'm an old romantic and I think if love is meant to be, it will be, no matter what smile

And if you need some Jo-love in the meantime, you've got it! hug ubblove

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Pink...?BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug

Like Jo said, the time apart might make him realise how much he really misses you? He's a nice bloke, I know that whatever happens, it'll be for the best.

kiss This just means you've got to come to monday's & Sundays more often

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Yes, I'm romantic myself and also believe that if something is meant to be...

We spend two lovely last days together and he said he would try to call me from over there. He's flying into Bogota and will then make his way south to Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia.

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


IgirisujinSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom


Posted:
How far from london is Bristol, within mooooving distance?

Oh hugs firetramp, this is the worse time of the year to be single. Christmas, new year, valentines day, and if your like me a birthday thrown in there too all within 2 months of each other.

Oh joy.

hug

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


pricklyleafSILVER Member
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)


Posted:
I know loads of people in long-distance relationships that work. I am, and one of my best friends. Both of us started out with the relationship being (short?)-distance. (What is the opposite of long-distance?!)



It's not ideal, but it is definately possible. How long does it take to get from London to Bristol? I don't imagine its that far. Distance can seem worse than it actually is at first.



But you need to find out whether your boyfriend is willing to give it a go, even for a set trial period.



hug2
EDITED_BY: pricklyleaf (1163882054)

Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


The Tea FairySILVER Member
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...


Posted:
Bristol - London is about 1 1/2 hours on the train (ends up at paddington) but train fare is expensive. National Express do coaches, but that takes about 2 1/2 hours. hug

I've never been good at the whole long-distance relationship thing, but it can work really well if you keep in regular (but not suffocating) contact and still make plans together to see each other and have a good time. Just keep smiling, I'm sure things will turn out for the best in the end.

Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Oh, thanx guys, you are all being really supportive grouphug.

He said we would of course still see each other occasionaly but just as friends. He thinks the distance and irregurality would be too demanding for a proper relationship and not fair for either of us. I guess I'll just have to wait and see and hope for the best.

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
Long distance is all relative and very much down to the person.

I've had 'long distance' break all of my previous relationships, wso what did I do- I started seeing someone who lives in the US, when i live in the UK biggrin

Just see how things go when he gets back

hug

Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Well, I'm probably moving to Bulgaria at some point next year and that is even further away! I know, we're not making things easy and you haven't heard half the story but Mark has mentioned some interest in Bulgaria so...

Oh, sometimes I wish "now" (well, last week really) could last forever but that would get boring in the end or would it?

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
someone once said, " if you truely love something, let it go and if it so wishes it will choose freedom but if it truely loves you it will return to you" or something like that ubblol


hug hope things do turn out good for you because there needs to be more love in this world biggrin

Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
That's a beautiful saying Ravehead. I think I've heard it before.
Mark said I inspired him to go travelling and it's true that I told him he should go. I'm not the kind of person to stop people doing things just because I want them close all the time. I'm very happy for him that he's doing this (I've travelled the world some years ago) but it doesn't make it easier.

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


Lost83spyBRONZE Member
Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
587 posts
Location: Somewhere, out there..., South Africa


Posted:
hug for you luv

My sister's boyfriend went travelling for a year, but they always kept in touch. The most beautiful thing was that he couldnt live without her anymore so he came back two months early to surprize her. I was there the day he came to the house. When my sis saw him she burst into tears and ran into his arms. They havent been apart since!

All I did was tell her to hold on and believe that he would come back because of his love for her. So now I'm telling you the same thing. Your love will last if you believe in it. Just be strong and hold on. Whatever happens, it will happen for a reason. And dont worry, we are all here for you

Much love hug

It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
I really miss him now. Mark is in Peru now after a month or so in Columbia and two weeks in Ecuador.
I'm still looking for flights to go there but especially Peru is soo expensive. I can afford one ticket but even carrying Indigo on my lap, adding a ticket for her is too much.
Brazil is cheaper so I guess I'll have to wait till Mark is in Brazil.

Pictures of his trip: https://www.flickr.com/photos/markumselby

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug ubblove kiss hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Thanx hon hug

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Mark is extending his ticket until 30th of April! He was supposed to come back next month!

But then, that gives me more chance to try and go visit him in South America. His birthday is on the 17th of April. Maybe I should try to get there by then but tickets are sooo expensive! Why does Indigo have to pay, even when she sits on my lap?

Oooh, I miss him ubbcrying.

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
aww oh no that sucks hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Well, definitely not going to South America as I start a new job next week (ironically on the day before Mark's birthday). And I still don't have any money. But, he's back next month, oooh, so looking forward to it!

We've had our ups and downs over the last few months but we both miss each other and he can't wait to come and visit me. Not sure where the (non-)relationship is heading as he's said I shouldn't call him my boyfriend and we should try to be just friends.
Although he does want to sleep over, and see me in smart suit as he thinks that's sexy. But I'm not "aloud" to seduce him umm.

Can anyone help me out on man's psychology?

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
 Written by: Firetramp



Although he does want to sleep over, and see me in smart suit as he thinks that's sexy. But I'm not "aloud" to seduce him umm.

Can anyone help me out on man's psychology?



confused I could, but I'd just be ranting about how they're controlled by their genitals!!

Saying that, I know so many men that aren't run by their bits, and are actually lovely. biggrin


Good luck either way! hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


FireTomStargazer
6,650 posts

Posted:
umm shrug not much more than women are controlled by their womb help

I can't tell you much about the psychology of "man" but the less you take everything serious, the better for your reunion.
Maybe you follow the advice and "just" be friends... ? I mean, how can you be lovers, if ..... ?

hug I wish you best of luck, laughter and love smile

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
Yes, I'm sure we'll just take it as it comes. And Mark will always be a good friend too, whatever happens.

It's just that he doesn't seem to know what he wants. One day he'll say that we shouldn't sleep together and that I'm not aloud to secuce him and the next he'll say that he'd love to watch me do a striptease for him. Sounds very contradictory to me shrug

Well, I know what he wants and that he's just trying to keep it casual so we won't get hurt because of the longdistance thing. He is really a sweetheart.

I could do the striptease and then tell him he can sleep on the couch. It's called a strip tease ubbangel wink

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.


Firetrampold hand
898 posts
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight


Posted:
So, he's back. He arrived back in the country on Tuesday morning but I haven't seen him yet frown. He's got some family stuff this weekend but he's gonna try to come over during the week.

We've agreed on fun without attachment as with him living in London and me on the Isle of Wight, we're not gonna see each other very often. And he doesn't want to commit but doesn't want to give up on "the fun".

Am I being stupid agreeing to this?

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.



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