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WeaponXmember
66 posts
Location: Under the bed, Upstairs


Posted:
I decided I needed to edit and update this since I've moved far, far away from the boat in london to a strange place where another cat called Widget lives. I'm a bit afraid of him, but shhhhhh don't tell him. If I puff myself up really big and hiss and growl at him enough he might not notice wink



Name: "Weapon X" or "X" for short (Although Lynne often calls me Ratbag or "you little shhhhhhhhhhit")



Location: On my blanket, on a cushion, under the bed, hiding behind the door from widget, on the bean bag... all in a very strange place that I'm not sure of the name yet.



Hometown: West London



DOB: 15/11



Age: Unknown.



Sex: Male. I have nipples though so I might be female, well thats what Jonny though... Lynne tells me that he is just silly and wrong.



Occupation(s): sleeping, eating and being paniced.



Favorite Food(s): Go-Kat, Tuna (in brine only- the oil is too oily) and milk chocolate digestives.



Favorite Color(s): Blue, Green and Red (the only colours I can see)



Toys: String, Catnip, things that look like string (IPod headphone cables, wires in general and shoelaces) and balls of wool, small fluffy mice.



Hobbies other than the obvious: Being stroked by Jonny or Lynne, eating Go-Kat, drinking out of the tap, chasing mice, running about the house and scratching things I'm not allowed to early in the morning to wake Lynne when I want feeding, sitting about looking cute, stretching, yawning, scratching myself and licking the empty space where my balls should be.



Education: I am a lethal kiling machine. I once killed 4 mice in 12 hours in a new environment. Then a week later I killed 5 mice overnight after simon and jon pimped me out in exchange for a video camera which they used to shoot the film of them doing those things that look like string going round and round. They put me on the video but I didnt get as much time as I wanted on it.



Favorite Book(s): Unmentionable Cuisine by Calvin W. Schwabe.



Favorite Movie(s): Cat on a hot tin roof, Felix the Cat: The Movie and Garfields Christmas Adventure.



Favorite TV show(s): Cat Tv



Plans for life in general (i.e. what you want to do when you grow up): Kill more mice, get stroked more, eat lots of Go-Kat. Become top cat in this new house. I am easy to please.



Favorite Music Artists/Composers: The Cat Empire, Ludvig van Cathoven, Cat Stevens, Catatonia.



Favorite ice cream flavor(s): Mouse flavour.



Marmite, Vegemite, or Nutella? (please choose one...this is important as it is essentially this site's equivalent of stating your religion...we have religious wars, crusades, cathedrals to Nutella, all that.) None. If humans invented a mouse flavour spread, I would bite and scratch until someone bought it for me though.



Mieow...



*curls up on his blanket and goes to sleep*

EDITED_BY: WeaponX (1171193874)

Mieow..


*robyn*BRONZE Member
member
111 posts
Location: canadian in canada


Posted:
have you heard the news?!? you might be coming back to play at mine for easter....i just need to sort out the final details with simon and jon.

i might open up the hole and let some mice-ies come into my flat for you to play with.....

my state of mind creates my world


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
X hun, will you go 2 boats down from yours and "beg" the lady there to lower the price of her boat so I can afford it. I want that boat!! I want you to be my secret undercover agent that "pesters" her into selling it to me. Could you leave her a few presents on deck everytime someone comes to view it to put them off buying it? If you sneak inside and leave some choice smells in there too, that might help.

*tickles X's chin*

I'll pay you in tickles, strokes, string and a fresh piece of fish from the chippie every Friday night for the rest of your life.

p.s. snuggle up to the boy on the sofa for me. smile

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


WeaponXmember
66 posts
Location: Under the bed, Upstairs


Posted:
mieeeeeeeeeeow! biggrin

im a happy cat. i have been too busy looking at all the beautiful pictures you left for me, wanting to do impossible things. it has left me very frustrated.

simon and jon have told me im an ace now. i think that means i have maimed, killed and generally obliterated over 10 other animals. i think its now 9 mice, 1 robin and 1 pigeon that i have shown them. apart from that one time i destroyed 4 mice at robyns house. im looking for 6 when i go round next. im looking forwards to it very much and i have been playing with the long blue thing from the top of that container of "moo juice", as they call it, in order to practise my skills.

that was the reason i let the mouse go in the bathroom a few days ago after having played with it for 30 minutes. it did not escape.
i caught it again the next day anyway after bringing simon a robin to say good morning.
i didnt know where jon went, but he has been smiling since he returned. its wierd. he doesnt usually except when he is in bed and breathing deeply.

i dont like that cat carrier. it makes me feel sick everytime i look at it. if i ever see simon or jon with it, i will leave them. it looks too painful and seeing as im an ace now, i can take on the world. or at least small mice and birds.

mieow.

*runs out the cat flap*

Mieow..


Adya MiriyanaGOLD Member
*slou?
6,555 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia


Posted:

Non-Https Image Link


so what about catnip? is it really all that exciting?

SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
My old cat used to go freaky high on cat nip. If you gave her toys filled with it she would lay on her back and rub them around her face.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
hey X, great meeting you t'other weekend, you're proper Bo, I tell thee. Thought you might like to meet my friend, she's a bit weird.


Non-Https Image Link

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
X................... i found this.................is it your work or one of your brethren biggrin


Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little, dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded....

must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair.... must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies."...must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, must be an informant because he speaks with my captors regularly. I'm certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement, in the metal room, his safety is assured, for now.

I can wait, though, it's only a matter of time.......

ubbrollsmile

SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
There is a present for you in my house. I'll have to remember to bring it down next time I visit!

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
Hello X smile

*tickle under the chin*



hug2

jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
X, although you are extremely cute and cool, Hobbes (from Calvin and Hobbes fame) is also cute and cool. Look, he's glowsticking-it up!!


Non-Https Image Link

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
hey puss, what have you done to my poi?!!!


Non-Https Image Link



Also, tell Jon or Simian that I have one of their Ascent Media Uber mugs at my house, without lid unfortunately, I salvaged what I could.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
word up dub-x,

we have a mouse in our house and its not one of those nice ones that comes from cornwall.

i thought you might like to come visit us in our new home and while you're there, maybe rip that cheeky mouse's little throat out for it smile

let us know and we'll work something out hug


cole. x

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
-------------------BUMP------------------------


here kitty kitty, raveheads gonna get you high on catnip biggrin ubblol raveys gonna get you wasted tongue

mausBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,191 posts
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia


Posted:
 Written by: coleman



we have a mouse in our house and its not one of those nice ones that comes from cornwall.





biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin

colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
f*ck you then cat mad

i hate it when cats ignore me - its why dogs are blatently so much cooler.

politeness doesn't cost anything my mum says tongue

we caught the mouse ourselves with a humane trap and a piece of cadbury caramel.

now we just have to decide how to kill it/ged rid of it... confused


cole. x

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


AsenaGOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom


Posted:
ubblol Catch it humanely, then kill it... ubblol

Post it to someone you don't like!! Orrrr just post it to Weapon X?

mausBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,191 posts
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia


Posted:
I have a kitty now..... biggrin

She's small and fluffy and called Shrapnel.

Maybe you too could make friends???? wink wink ubblove

SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
Cole, poor X can't get on the computer any more because Jon and Simon are always playing the war game thingie. I suggest you take the mouse to a field and let it go. That way the local owls can have it for supper.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
thanks skully hug

and sorry for being rude weapon (i didn't know the boys were still hogging the broadband).

there's a rumour going round that you have to take mice a long way away so they can't find their way back to your house...

i reckon a field would do though shrug

i want a cat - far less hassle than all this trapping business.


cole. x

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
I have a cat.... he's a pain in the bum. Most of the time he lays around sleeping. When he is awake he divides his time between following me around demanding food, fighting with next doors cat, licking his fur until he gets fur balls that he can hawk up on the carpet, dribbling, and going out to the canal to bring me back rats. Sometimes they are not dead when he brings them in the house and he lets them run around(I think he is trying to train me to catch better dinners for him).

Strangely I still love the little bugger to bits!

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


mausBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,191 posts
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia


Posted:

Non-Https Image Link

colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
 Written by: maus



Non-Https Image Link




ubblove ubblove ubblove

damn these cute things with their fluff and their eyes and all that.


cole. x

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


ValuraSILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia


Posted:
hey kitty kitty.....! I saw a picture of you today and you are SO cute...

*scratches weapon behind the ears* hug

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
Just like his .... I would say owner, but you never really own cats, they kind of own you... so just like his pet Jon. Very cute kiss

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
and simian is also very cute too. awww bless em all!!! ubblove

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
Happy Birthday super gorgeous kitty. I hope Jonny sent you some fishies all the way from Oz for your birthday!

hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


animatEdBRONZE Member
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK


Posted:
Happy Birthday X!!

I hope Simian is feeding you lots of nice foods for your birthday, seeing as Jon went galavanting down under instead of celebrating your birthday with you.

Still, you can get monkey to share some of his stuff that looks like Catnip with you...

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.


poigmarmite and nutella sandwich
1,590 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire


Posted:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
bounce bouncebouncebounce

THE hop Pyro.
(with parents)
Unowned


WeaponXmember
66 posts
Location: Under the bed, Upstairs


Posted:
Thank you for all the words, I especially like the bits with the bouncing things.



I'm not sure what this birthday business is about. I'm afraid I'm not interested in anything that doesn't involve eating, being stroked, eating or killing things.



Are you going to feed me? I'm going to make pathetic meowing noises until you feed me.



mmmmrrrooooowwwwwwlllllll...



hmm, I don't think you're going to feed me.



*wanders off*

Mieow..


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
Hey X, who the hell is this?!!


Non-Https Image Link


your friends are weird! rolleyes

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


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