Forums > Social Chat > Step 1: Open mouth. Step 2: Insert foot
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529 posts
Location: I wish I knew, United Kingdom
At the Kingston Green Fair on monday:
Durbs & loves the circus performing some rather smooth cj to the amazement of a bunch of chavs. Crowd (eventually) disperses, Durbs and ltc move back to where we're sitting
MrConfused (pointing to cj ball): "I finally know what that is!! A chav magnet!!"
Awkward silence.
*suddenly realises there's a few chavs standing right behind him*
J
If you're not confused, you're not thinking about things hard enough.
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Star Trekker
1,733 posts
Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
Oh bless you - mucho sympathy and empathy for that one, my size 3 spend more time in my mouth than on the floor at times.
i sat in a pub berating the population of Runcorn in a not so quiet voice for being 'all minging scousers' - the pub was in Ellesmere Port
it's one of those things that comes back to haunt you once in a while and you blush at the memory - but it's probably safe to say the audience have forgotten about it already
'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
899 posts
Location: playing with traffic
Scha-moove
Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens 
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
It wasn't that bad a case of foot in mouth disease..., honestly.
All the chavs were too high on their Pills to realise anything. A lucky escape was had!
But yeah, the balls do attract an excessive amount of chavs
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
*slou?
6,555 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Neo - Hippie
358 posts
Location: Sala, Slovakia
what's a chav..? : )
Smile.. It confuses people..:)
Wonders never cease as long as you never cease to wonder.
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Mr Confused.Wonder if it works on local boguns here. Might be a new way to find the undercover chavs.
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
Star Trekker
1,733 posts
Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
Chav is a slang word thats been around for centuries but has just been adopted as the current 'buzz' word to describe people it's fair to say are unlikely ever to be on HoP. Main charachteristics are:
- wear flashy designers clothes, lots of jewellry, but otherwose probably haven't got a pot to pee in
- are obsessed with minor celebrities like Jordan and the Beckhams and actually think those people are 'glamorous'
- haven't got 2 brain cells to run together.. between them
I refer to my foot in mouth episode....
'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
Nice one Mr. C A similar thing happened in Bristol last Saturday when some kids ran up to a couple of HoPers and started to take the proverbial by swinging their socks. I was the only one laughing and experienced a foot-in-mouth when I asked if I was the only one who found this funny.
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey
My dad did the same thing to take the mickey out of me... only he was swinging his shoes by the laces and managed to smack himself in the face
The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.
Always make time to play in the snow.
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
may i just add that a chavs fav label is burberry and apparently you can wear as much of it as you like, infocat the more the better!!!
Non-Https Image Link
an interseting site
she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
whats an asbo?
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
ASBO
this is fun
she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester
missed you guys at KGF then. I had a fairly quiet juggle towards the end - there was a band on the main stage just before the end btn 7.30 and 8pm. some loved up drunk peeps came up to me but were very fluffy
I had lovely people around me shielding me from the dark forces from chavland. ah wah wah wah a wah wah
Star Trekker
1,733 posts
Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
The ASBO stats are somewhat concerning given my location - in Cheshire and not far (enough) from Greater Manchester! I blame those minging scousers, er.... deja vu?
'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
try here too
she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom
Wild Child - WTF were you doing in Ellesmere Port and not texting me for a beer? I'm shocked and appalled...
And yes, Ellesmere Port is Scally Minger Central.
ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
Tantamount to fatuity
15,967 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Are chavs actually aware that they're chavs though?
Like ugly people are usually completely unaware of their hideousness. It's only insecure regular people (eg you and me
) that think they're ugly..... Meh
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
i dunno ive met chavs who are proud of their chavness, so some must be aware
she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
mischeivious pixie
291 posts
Location: Sydney, Australia
thats well funny, the little buggers get everywhere dont they!?
"I dont want no fatty bumbum, i want a lean mean shagging machine" anon
"I'm sweet and wholesome with a little bit of filth thrown in"
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
643 posts
Location: Check behind you.
For the sake of randomness (and before I go check out chavscum) when I was little I used to actually put my feet in my mouth, well, toes anyway. I tried it again at around age 11 and they tasted salty.
Chucks nuns
Property of mynci and blu_valley, and proud of it.
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
nice!
she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
Tantamount to fatuity
15,967 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Thanks for sharing. Feel free to go and stand in the garden and/or eat random insects (they'd do it to you if the had the chance)...
Meh
643 posts
Location: Check behind you.
And *now* I'm getting into contortion, can't see any early chilhood influence *there* at _all_.
Chucks nuns
Property of mynci and blu_valley, and proud of it.
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
i put my foot in my mouth all the time. usually when ive been paying someone out in english, only to discover that they speak it!
seb, i can still do that!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
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