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786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
Posted:
Recently I have been asking myself some difficult questions in a vain attempt to find the ever-elusive answers, here is a taster of what has been passing through my head:
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed ?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth ?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass ?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic' ?
If you mated a bulldog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullsh*t ?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer ?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages ?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date ?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat ?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out' ?
What do people in China call their good plates ?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is ?
Please help me to find the answers, thank you.
Recently I have been asking myself some difficult questions in a vain attempt to find the ever-elusive answers, here is a taster of what has been passing through my head:
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed ?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth ?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass ?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic' ?
If you mated a bulldog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullsh*t ?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer ?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages ?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date ?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat ?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out' ?
What do people in China call their good plates ?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is ?
Please help me to find the answers, thank you.
whats up with all the limitations?
BRONZE Member
member
180 posts
Location: Leicester, uk
member
180 posts
Location: Leicester, uk
Posted:
I dunno matey, but thanks for making me laugh so hard!!!!!!!!!
~chalice~
I dunno matey, but thanks for making me laugh so hard!!!!!!!!!
~chalice~
Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside wakes C G Jung
BRONZE Member
old hand
1,031 posts
Location: Bath, England
old hand
1,031 posts
Location: Bath, England
Posted:
Think hard, toke deeply and you are sure to find the answers to all of the above
Oh no that will just induce an eening of heavy debate about the answers
Mark P
Think hard, toke deeply and you are sure to find the answers to all of the above
Oh no that will just induce an eening of heavy debate about the answers
Mark P
member
45 posts
Location: London
45 posts
Location: London
Posted:
I Like The Way You Think !!!
the bulldog is a great touch
I Like The Way You Think !!!
the bulldog is a great touch
'Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than they hide.'
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
I think, Kurobei sweetie, that this belong sin social, and would get more answers there too. but here are a few:
(disclaimer: these are all imo)
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed ?
I think undressing is prolly a lot more sexual than just being naked. I would feel less comfortabel undressing whilst someone was watching. I wanna know why all gyn's are male.....
*sigh*
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth ?
uh, sure, why not?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ? I can. but i have to think about it.
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass ? i've never wiggled my ass whilst brushing my teeth....
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic' ?
If everyone says bob u are still anonymous.
If you mated a bulldog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullsh*t ? I think both are bullsh*t already.
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ? I never noticed this.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer ? There was a light in my former freezer.
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages ? 'cause they get soggy
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date ?
required by federal regulations in the US. otehr than that i don't know.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat ?
u arn't alwasy cooking bread.
Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
i don't think so, ask cass.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out' ?
it could be worse.
What do people in China call their good plates ?
people in china have good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest ?
i suppose you could. it might not be a good idea tho.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?
i couldn't tell you.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is ?
prolly some puritan beat them up about it.
that help???
I think, Kurobei sweetie, that this belong sin social, and would get more answers there too. but here are a few:
(disclaimer: these are all imo)
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed ?
I think undressing is prolly a lot more sexual than just being naked. I would feel less comfortabel undressing whilst someone was watching. I wanna know why all gyn's are male.....
*sigh*
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth ?
uh, sure, why not?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ? I can. but i have to think about it.
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass ? i've never wiggled my ass whilst brushing my teeth....
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic' ?
If everyone says bob u are still anonymous.
If you mated a bulldog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullsh*t ? I think both are bullsh*t already.
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ? I never noticed this.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer ? There was a light in my former freezer.
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages ? 'cause they get soggy
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date ?
required by federal regulations in the US. otehr than that i don't know.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat ?
u arn't alwasy cooking bread.
Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
i don't think so, ask cass.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out' ?
it could be worse.
What do people in China call their good plates ?
people in china have good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest ?
i suppose you could. it might not be a good idea tho.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?
i couldn't tell you.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is ?
prolly some puritan beat them up about it.
that help???
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,749 posts
Location: Europe,Scotland,Both
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,749 posts
Location: Europe,Scotland,Both
Posted:
theres always one.
theres always one.
This is a post by tom, all spelling is deleberate
-><- Kallisti
BRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
Yeah, but on this board there are at least two...
Kyrian, you didn't answer all of them...
1. Q = Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ?
A = Stairs are supposed to be a series of steps. Stairs is essentially the old plural of step, but not as old as steppes.
As there is often only one or two "steps" outside a house or at the front door, most people called them steps, instead of stairs.
Usually, the number of steps, inside a house tends to be high, and often considered a flight of "stairs".
This is how we seem to use steps for outside mostly and stairs for inside mostly.
Note: Many shops have a notice "Watch the step!" when there is a single 'stair' inside their access doorway. This is the older way of using step and is still in common usage
2. Q = Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
A = No, even if the actual distinction was their, they wouldn't use the English word "kissing", they'd have a french version
Bring it on people...Between kyrian and myself, I bet we can answer anything!
Yeah, but on this board there are at least two...
Kyrian, you didn't answer all of them...
1. Q = Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside ?
A = Stairs are supposed to be a series of steps. Stairs is essentially the old plural of step, but not as old as steppes.
As there is often only one or two "steps" outside a house or at the front door, most people called them steps, instead of stairs.
Usually, the number of steps, inside a house tends to be high, and often considered a flight of "stairs".
This is how we seem to use steps for outside mostly and stairs for inside mostly.
Note: Many shops have a notice "Watch the step!" when there is a single 'stair' inside their access doorway. This is the older way of using step and is still in common usage
2. Q = Is French kissing in France just called kissing ?
A = No, even if the actual distinction was their, they wouldn't use the English word "kissing", they'd have a french version
Bring it on people...Between kyrian and myself, I bet we can answer anything!
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member
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
Posted:
Oh boy!!!
So what's the meaning of life?
Charles: What about the Asiatic Steppes then? They're outside and they don't go up or down......they're FLAT!!!!
Kyrian: I think they were refering to the "I'm an Alcoholic" part, a bit daft at an AA meeting huh?
Thanks though hon!!
Oh boy!!!
So what's the meaning of life?
Charles: What about the Asiatic Steppes then? They're outside and they don't go up or down......they're FLAT!!!!
Kyrian: I think they were refering to the "I'm an Alcoholic" part, a bit daft at an AA meeting huh?
Thanks though hon!!
whats up with all the limitations?
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
BRONZE Member
old hand
1,031 posts
Location: Bath, England
old hand
1,031 posts
Location: Bath, England
Posted:
Kyrian darling, you have far too much time on your hands
Kurobei, you spin fire and you dont yet know what the meaning of life is????
Kyrian darling, you have far too much time on your hands
Kurobei, you spin fire and you dont yet know what the meaning of life is????
member
259 posts
Location: The Birthplace of BlackSabbath
259 posts
Location: The Birthplace of BlackSabbath
Posted:
Excellent answers Kyrian, you are truly a comic genius.
Excellent answers Kyrian, you are truly a comic genius.
The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer-- they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.-- Ken Kesey
member
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
786 posts
Location: The Phire Kru
Posted:
Well having read the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy I know that the real meaning of life the universe and everything is in fact 42........yep that's right, 42.
Spinning fire (and music) however is the meaning of MY life, easy to get confused!!!!
Well having read the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy I know that the real meaning of life the universe and everything is in fact 42........yep that's right, 42.
Spinning fire (and music) however is the meaning of MY life, easy to get confused!!!!
whats up with all the limitations?
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
I know Mark. They just introduced me to evercrack last night..... *eep*
I know Mark. They just introduced me to evercrack last night..... *eep*
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
As for all OB/GYN's being male, that's rapidly changing. Roughly half of all medical students in the U.S. are female. In my own class, it's 48% women, or roughly 5 more men than women out of a class of 170. The class above me has 53% women, and the class below me has 42% women (which is unusual).
What's more, over 80% of acceptees to OB/GYN residency programs were female in 2000. The OB/GYN board is actually trying to recruit men right now because the imbalance is so dramatic (there are some female patients who prefer male OB/GYN's...I don't understand why, but if they're more comfortable that way, then they should get a male doctor).
The thing is that the older doctors who are still practicing come from a time when women were very rare in medicine. I don't think that any doctors are still practicing who can remember a time when women were outright banned (that stopped around the turn of the century), but even in the '50's, '60's, and 70's it was still considered a man's job to work and a woman's job to stay at home and raise the kids and so fewer older doctors are women.
Wait for it...the field of medicine is probably the most gender-equal right now. So as time goes on and older docs retire, you'll see it even out.
quote:Two reasons doctors leave a room when a patient is disrobing. 1) it lets them see another patient while the patient is disrobing and 2) patients want to spend as little time as possible exposed to the physician. A good clinician is very careful to re-drape the patient as soon as he is done examining her. Besides, it would just be wierd. I know the question was a joke, but there is a serious answer to it.
Originally posted by Kyrian:
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed ?
I think undressing is prolly a lot more sexual than just being naked. I would feel less comfortabel undressing whilst someone was watching. I wanna know why all gyn's are male.....
*sigh*
As for all OB/GYN's being male, that's rapidly changing. Roughly half of all medical students in the U.S. are female. In my own class, it's 48% women, or roughly 5 more men than women out of a class of 170. The class above me has 53% women, and the class below me has 42% women (which is unusual).
What's more, over 80% of acceptees to OB/GYN residency programs were female in 2000. The OB/GYN board is actually trying to recruit men right now because the imbalance is so dramatic (there are some female patients who prefer male OB/GYN's...I don't understand why, but if they're more comfortable that way, then they should get a male doctor).
The thing is that the older doctors who are still practicing come from a time when women were very rare in medicine. I don't think that any doctors are still practicing who can remember a time when women were outright banned (that stopped around the turn of the century), but even in the '50's, '60's, and 70's it was still considered a man's job to work and a woman's job to stay at home and raise the kids and so fewer older doctors are women.
Wait for it...the field of medicine is probably the most gender-equal right now. So as time goes on and older docs retire, you'll see it even out.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Diamond In The Rough
459 posts
Location: Richmond, Virginia
459 posts
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Posted:
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Not according to US legal pecedent. In the 70's, a guy sued an oil company because they were drilling a well 5 miles beneath his neighborhood, saying that every property owner above that oil field should get a percentage. The court ruled that private citizens only own 1 mile down, and that everything else is 'public doman' and subject to federal regulations. I dunno about other countries though.
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date? All water become 'stale' when it's stagnant.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? I don't recall his name, but he was the same guy who opened an oyster and said "I think I'll scoop out this cold, slimy, plehgm-like substance and call it a delicacy."
What was the best thing before sliced bread? It was the pyramids. But once someone took a knife to a loaf of bread, those massive structures of rock just weren't impressive anymore. a coupla inventions over the years have almost dethroned sliced bread, such as nuclear fission, the microchip, the polio vaccine and velcro. None, apparently, surpassed the awesome potential of sliced bread.
Now I have a question: Why is the sky blue?
(And yes, I know the answer, just wanna see who else does)
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Not according to US legal pecedent. In the 70's, a guy sued an oil company because they were drilling a well 5 miles beneath his neighborhood, saying that every property owner above that oil field should get a percentage. The court ruled that private citizens only own 1 mile down, and that everything else is 'public doman' and subject to federal regulations. I dunno about other countries though.
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date? All water become 'stale' when it's stagnant.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? I don't recall his name, but he was the same guy who opened an oyster and said "I think I'll scoop out this cold, slimy, plehgm-like substance and call it a delicacy."
What was the best thing before sliced bread? It was the pyramids. But once someone took a knife to a loaf of bread, those massive structures of rock just weren't impressive anymore. a coupla inventions over the years have almost dethroned sliced bread, such as nuclear fission, the microchip, the polio vaccine and velcro. None, apparently, surpassed the awesome potential of sliced bread.
Now I have a question: Why is the sky blue?
(And yes, I know the answer, just wanna see who else does)
Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.
Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
Nuclear fission microchips eh? A meal with real bite.
I have a question. Why do people who say things like "i've been thinking about life's eternal questions...." and then promtly launch into a bout of silly word puns (n things) so rarely actually ask their own questions?
Nuclear fission microchips eh? A meal with real bite.
I have a question. Why do people who say things like "i've been thinking about life's eternal questions...." and then promtly launch into a bout of silly word puns (n things) so rarely actually ask their own questions?
Meh
BRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
Kurobei - the Asiatic Steppes is a name, names don't need to abey any rules whatsoever. Such as this women i know called Chastity
Promotheus, we all know the answer to that one, but I came across this site a while ago and you reminded me of it Why-is-the-sky-blue.org
Neat huh?
[ 30 August 2002, 11:22: Message edited by: Charles (INFERNO) ]
Kurobei - the Asiatic Steppes is a name, names don't need to abey any rules whatsoever. Such as this women i know called Chastity
Promotheus, we all know the answer to that one, but I came across this site a while ago and you reminded me of it Why-is-the-sky-blue.org
Neat huh?
[ 30 August 2002, 11:22: Message edited by: Charles (INFERNO) ]
HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
member
249 posts
Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
249 posts
Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Posted:
why is everything always in the last place you look?
why is everything always in the last place you look?
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
to solev taht problem: keep looking after you haev found it
to solev taht problem: keep looking after you haev found it
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
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