Forums > Social Discussion > My fellowship: a bit of a sticky spot (affects my Australia plans)
Login/Join to ParticipateHOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Here's the situation: As I made a big deal about this past July, I was given an offer from the University of California, San Francisco to start my fellowship on January 1, 2009. My residency ends on June 30, 2008.
I gladly accepted this and then promptly made plans for my (sorely needed!) six-month hiatus between residency and fellowship. This includes 1) Running a camp for Burning Man '08 2) My trip to Australia 3) A number of other personal commitments, shorter trips, and other plans.
Basically, I have worked HARD these last seven years. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally, and I could really use the break.
My future boss just called me 10 minutes ago to tell me that one of his fellows has decided to leave the program to attend to her family (she's pregnant) and that he now has an opening for me on July 1, 2008 (I wouldn't be able to start precisely then because I work straight to June 30).
So that would mean no Australia. I could still go to Burning Man but probably wouldn't be able to run a camp. And no long break to regularize my sleep schedule and everything again. No cooking classes, no poi classes (I haven't picked them up since last Burning Man
), etc. So... now I'm between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, I was really counting on this six-month break and I've invested both a lot of money and emotional energy into planning various activities, both leisure and educational. On the other hand, I understand that as a program director, he would really rather that everyone start on July 1 and not be staggered by six months and I feel some pressure to cancel everything.
I'd be heartbroken if I had to do this, but on the other hand, I want to be on my program director's good side, too.
He has assured me that I could still start on Jan 1 2009 and he has told me to think about it through the holidays.
What would you do?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
wandering dingo
167 posts
Location: Aussie in London, Australia
A well rested, travelled, slept, and normalized Doc after a six month break would have to be a much better thing for the fellowship, no?
The old torn between what you want to do and what others want you to do thing eh.
Me, if I were you, I'd take the break, but I certainly see your conundrum.
Only three things are certain: Death, Taxes, and that England will not win back the Ashes in this lifetime.
Now with extra strawberries
810 posts
Location: Canberra, Australia
I think you should take a break too. It is hard when there are other people involved but you have been working hard for other people for a long time now and you probably will be in the future, you deserve a chance to do some things you enjoy and get some relaxation.
I think if you were to miss out on your plans you could really regret it in the future and may resent the position when you do start work? also taking a little time now will mean that there is less chance of you totaly burning out when you start in the new position.
Good luck with your deciding, it sounds like it will be a hard choice : )
I {Heart} hand me downs and spinning in the snow.<br /><br />
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
So if you dont take the preganancy fellowship there is still a spot 6 months later?....which gives you what you wanted.
Will you resent the earlier fellowship and not give it your best as you will be emotionally and physically shattered.
Can you take a whole year off instead of 6 months and so not be staggered?
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
I'd definitly take the break as planned, cos,
1. IMO, personal projects/aims are of comparable value to career ones
2. You've put a lot of planning into them
3. It sounds like you need the break and that, in the long term, your work life will benefit from the break
4. Your program director has assured you that you can, if you choose, start on 1 Jan- he can't put it any clearer than that.
Possibly he will, if anything, place more value on someone who has such a high standard of self-respect that they'll make the choice they consider right for themselves, when a lot of other people would tend to choose the option that they percieve as being what their boss might prefer them to do.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
old hand
768 posts
Location: San Francisco, California, USA
I would go ahead and take the break as planned also, for all of the reasons already mentioned. You gotta take care of yourself too...and if you've been told you can start later, do it!
taken out of context i must seem so strange
~ ani di franco
2,303 posts
Location: Brisbane
I have to agree with the rest of them Doc.
Your futures boss can't be angry or disappointed in you for not taking the earlier gig. Because he has given you the option. If you give him a valid explanation as to why you'd like to start later, he would accept it.
:admires giant wooden aeroplane: Its about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing their like jerks!!! 
Homer rocks!!!! 
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia
Ditto.
You have already made other commitments, right? To yourself, and *ahem* to visiting us
?Keep them and feel better for the rest of your life.
*at the time of death, no one wishes they spent more time at the office*
.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
I love how EVERY one of you egging me to take the break is from Australia.
Makes me feel loved... and like I totally didn't get a neutral opinion.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia
Written by: Doc Lightning
I love how EVERY one of you egging me to take the break is from Australia.
Hang on a sec Doc,
*looks around continent for OWD and Khan*
Nup, if international=neutral, it's impeccably impartial
.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Written by: Doc Lightning
I love how EVERY one of you egging me to take the break is from Australia.
Makes me feel loved... and like I totally didn't get a neutral opinion.
Like we would say " Take the fellowship and get bogged down in Doctordom and distracted from the importnat stuff and never come"
We all think you should fly out tomorrow and make it to Woodford then work your way over to us all
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
ZORT!
3,045 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
definitely take some time off my friend - but if you want to stay on your bosses good side shave 1-2 months off as an act of good will?
"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
dentrassi has a good point. could you start say november or december? or would that cause more problems. can you have a little of both or are there no shades of grey?
I would definately suggest some time off. You would go back to work with a clearer head and be that much more relaxed if you go straight into it without the break you've planned so long would you keep thinking about what you were missing when you were at work?
Good luck with your choice dude.
A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Personally, I wouldn't be offering to shave off 1-2 months as an act of goodwill, cos it seems to suggest feeling guilty.
You've nothing to feel guilty about- you made a mutual arrangement with your boss and you both agreed on the timescale; having agreed that time scale, you did what any human would do and made plans to fill the gap with things that are of value to you.
Your boss has since then encountered an unforseen problem, that is most definitly not your fault, and asked if you'd alter your schedule- it's entierely your choice as to whether you do that, there's no obligation to do so, and no cause for guilt if you don't.
If your boss contacted you and proposed shaving off 1-2 months, then that's fine and, you might consider whether that will enable you to fulfill your plans and rest needs and decide accordingly.
But, personally, I feel that to suggest it yourself, implies some feeling that you're somehow in the wrong for sticking to your plans.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA
I'm the practical caught up in the material world person
Explaining this to future boss, ask what position your fellowship would be in if you went to Australia, maybe a compromise can be reached. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
So...being the libra that I am, stuff like this used to tear me up.
However, I'm going to share with you something I learned from my accident. It's not worth waiting.
I put off a trip to NZ for my career.
I put off so much for career...and then I damn nearly died and I was so ticked that I almost missed all these things that were important to me personally. I forgot to take care of me, and almost lost out.
So while the very pragmatic side of me says, go to the fellowship and work it out, the very, very human side of me says to follow your heart, take the time to think of your general well being now because you have spent so much of your time thinking of the well being of others.
Take your rest.
Experience life outside the hospital.
Refresh yourself and allow yourself that recovery.
You will be so much better for it.
Your fellowship will get the whole of you and not someone who wonders what if, and quite potentially has regrets.
And this from someone not only on your side of the globe, but in your own state!!!!
In the end you will do what's right for you. I know you will.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
water based
5,125 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
i've gotta recomend the take-a-break option.. if theres the option to take a break, without any permanent loss of opporunity, you might as well concentrate on your own mind for a little while, not your career..
im gona be doing a similar thing i guess.. differing uni for a year, in order to learn heaps about the 'real' world, and travel about it as well.. but my course will be sitting there waiting for me in 2009
"you know there are no trophys for doing silly things in real life yeah pete?" said ant "you wont get a 'listened to ride of the valkyries all the way to vietnam' trophy"
*proud owner of the very cute fire_spinning_angel, birgit and neon shaolin*
journeyman
84 posts
Location: USA
I'd take the break. I would think it would be good for your mind and soul to just have a break and do what you want to do for a bit. That mental break goes a LONG way! To rush into something you may have issues with... not so good.
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Overwhelming take a break advice
What happens when you ask other medical people in similar positions to you?
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Looks like I'm taking a break.
I'll offer him a compromise, but this trip was important to me, so I plan to take it.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
water based
5,125 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
"you know there are no trophys for doing silly things in real life yeah pete?" said ant "you wont get a 'listened to ride of the valkyries all the way to vietnam' trophy"
*proud owner of the very cute fire_spinning_angel, birgit and neon shaolin*
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Written by: Gnor
Yeah, you had NO personal interest in the advice you gave me. None at all! Nope, TOOOOTALLY neutral!
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
i'm totally neutral, you're not visiting me :P
i think you should have the break.
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
My comment was possibly one of the least " Run NOW go on holidays "of all of them
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
3,286 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Break
ॐ
Owner of burningoftheclavey 
Owned by Lost83spy
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA
re: compromise-it never hurts to ask, does it?
Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HE sent me an E-mail saying that it made no difference to him... so I just requested Jan 1.
(Yes, I'm coming to Oz, then.)
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA
yay for OZ people-but someone needs to come visit wisconsin
Glad things worked out
Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Written by: faithinfire
yay for OZ people-but someone needs to come visit wisconsin
Aw gee, thanks, but I've just about had enough Midwest for my life (24 years of it), thank you!
So someone needs to come either to New York or SF. You know, not in a fly-over zone? Yeah...
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
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