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Forums > Introductions > Dyke boy sleeps wiv a hockey stick

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The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
only cuz i go to bording skool and i want to defend against the bugger boys and late nite pranks...

yes here i am again, posting
im 17, and i cant be arsed to type out the story of my name, but a lot of peeps in the real world actually call me dyke. tho my real names dave...

basically i started having this thing with this girl, only to find out shes like the queen dyke of her dyke community. and i cant help but hit on girls who i later find out are vaginatarians... rolleyes confused mad

anyway i live in Hackney, East London and go to bording skool in Hertfordshire, 1hr north of London, hence the thing bout bugger boys, no offence meant or anything, beliee me im a guy who was so bent he did a 360... biggrin

so again, FREE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
hug hug beerchug hug hug

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


GnorBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia


Posted:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........

.....me and my rock are happy for you.....

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
well, me and my heart are happy too!

we both are saying thank you!!!

FREE HUGS!!!

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
mmmm.................



just spoke to katie on the phone, she's so lovely ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove



its so nice to be able to say she's mine.............................

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Kitveteran
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon


Posted:
bump! bleeeurgh


whats yer love life like now dyk-o not heard from you in a while

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
*runs around giggling*

Dykeboys in lurve, Dykeboys in lurve, na na na na na


kissy kissy?

oooh....i have a stamp for your letter now...

ROTFLMAO.

have a look at the date on it when it arrives eek ubblol ubblol

pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
isn't that the pot calling the kettle black jon?? wink

ubblol

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


Riamember
114 posts
Location: Essex, England


Posted:
Hey u! wave I'm all happy for you, she sounds great! kiss

UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
OI!

Dyke..

did you get my letter mate?

Kitveteran
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon


Posted:
hmm i think dyke is gone man!.... he hasnt been on in aaaaaaaaaaaages someone hunt that boy down!

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
heya!!!!!!!!!!!

i got lost u see, took a wrong turning, ended up in bumsville or some damned place....

soz i aint been around, lots of work you see, called ALevels i think? something like that



life is good at my end, Yes John i got your letter, thanks for the dating discrepency, but i cant really complain now can i?

Me and Kate are still going strong, it is all good with us, and we are blissfully happy just lying together in the nude trying to guess the answers to who wants to be a millionaire on a sat nite (and a bit more besides wink )



erm what else, OH! im doing another fire show at school which will be fun, and im buyinga bokken and some kevlar to make a fire sword! yayayayayayayaya!!!!!!!!! yum yum as kate would say....

and im saving up now for a bass guitar, the one i want is a real beauty, its a stagg BC300:


Non-Https Image Link


only i want it black, but gorgeous non?

AND Mtthew BM has finished making fire ropes for me! only took 6 months! yay!!!! so many new toys!!!!!!!

oh and rowing, we have now moved into a hardcore 4, with me at 3 (my natural position). One of our rowers got himself run over, hes not too badly hurt, just some cuts from the glass and grazes from bouncing over the car, but the car itself was written off, thats how hardcore the rowers are now... ooo and we were at the National Schools Head yesterday. We came 4th from last in our group, which is a big improvement for us, BELIEVE ME, but now my right knee keeps buckling and theres no skin under the ring finger of mu right hand, as well as a mass of blisters.





oh and one more thing:



FREE HUGS!!!!!

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
loved up potential hippy.

wink

hope youz doing good.

I think a VERY drunken night at the dome is needed soon..

biggrin

UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
very soon in fact.

Konsti may be dragged along too.

wink

are you up for it?

The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
hey guys sorry i aint been around, but someone decided to put me in for "ALevels" and uess i thought, "what the heck, i'll give em a shot"



lifes been goodish ere, too much work, not enough time in the real world, split with Katie, buggered knee rowing, but half term is alomst here and then STUDY LEAVE!!! YES!!!

i didnt get the bass i showed above got this one instead:


Non-Https Image Link




nice, non? good sound too... im on my way to rock stardom...

erm, i owe Matthew BM for the fire ropes still, i'll have to get it to you in half term.

Jon, i am bnever going back to that place again, NEVA, not even to do ANYTHING, the things in there now are worse then when we were there, back in the day, plus all my ex's seem to like to congregate there...

but if u cud bribe me wiv enuf booze...



anyweay, luv to everyone and appologies for leaving u and abusing ur friendlyness.



FREE HUGS!

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Yaaaay!!! We missed you!

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
aww thanks mike, its good to know!
have some hugs!
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

PS i find my stuble/fluff to be rather good luck when out n about!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
Bliss.
Heaven.
It wouldn’t have bothered me if I’d died there and then.
I love Alice Goulding with all my heart and soul and with every fibre of my being, and not even God himself could ban me from doing so. I would rather die and spend eternity in hell than not touch her again.
Last night we lay in each other’s arms, but I couldn’t sleep. I was happier watching her sleep and listening to the rhythm of her heart and her breathing.
3 years I’ve known this girl, and today three years ago I was madly in love with her, as I still am, but we were together then. And it all came apart.
Now I have a chance to fix it, to mend burnt bridges and heal old wounds, and by God I will do it, heavens try to stop me.
Her insane ex boyfriend wouldn’t even let me talk to her when I met her 2 months ago for the first time in eons. But now she has finally had enough of him, and wanted to talk to me.
We met at 6pm yesterday, and decided to go to her mum’s house, as she was in the US and it was empty. And we started chatting, and we didn’t stop, we talked of old memories, of the new things in our lives, what we were up to and where we intended to go with our lives. We literally talked the night away. Alice eventually got tired and went to sleep. I put her in bed but was too high from seeing her too sleep, so I just lay there next to her, both in our underwear, our bodies touching for the first time in 2 years and 10 months. And I could have melted from all existence there and then. We didn’t kiss, or anything like that, but I think we both felt right.
That’s just the amazing thing, I’m not lusting after, beautiful as she is, I just want her . We just click, like two pieces of a jigsaw. I know that it’s just us. And even if she doesn’t realise it yet, I will wait forever to be with her. Even if damn Chris will forever plague her, begging for forgiveness, which he does NOT deserve, I will wait. I couldn’t hurt her, upset her or mistreat her in any way; I just love her too much.
And right now I am so happy, just to know that there is no animosity between us, I feel as if the big guy up stairs has given us a clean slate to start over again.
And this time, the slate of our happiness will run ā€˜til the day that I die.
ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove ubblove

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
that's beautiful smile i wish you all the best DB hug

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
well, this is just to rip up from my old, dying blog that i neva kept going really:
theyre from i think around last summer when i couldnt sleep AT ALL


EPISODE 1
Its 0612, Monday morning. I’ve been awake since about 0200, for 4 hours I tried to sleep, but now I think [censored] it.

I’m either turning into an insomniac, or I have, through this summer become nocturnal. I went to bed at 2100, turning down the offer to go to a heath party for some good old shuteye. But thinking about it I should have gone, so I could tire myself out and properly sleep after. I can’t type properly anymore because I’m used to typing in chat room shorthand. This is taking surprising effort.

So I’ve decided to sit here and type this. God alone knows why. Perhaps it will help me drift off and I can drool over the keyboard when I finally pass out.

The diary of a (sort of) insomniac.

Its not that i'm hungry, not after 2 bowls of cereal and 6 pieces of toast. I don’t need the toilet; I've had a dump. I can’t even smoke in the toilet because the extractor is behind me and the smoke keeps going in my eye. I jerked off, but still nothing. So now I’m in front of the computer downloading the Cowboy Bebop movie with a dial up, mission in-[censored]-possible. The soundtrack from the various episodes is also streaming in, though trickling is probably a better way to describe 3k a second. Beautiful Japanese Jazz and rock with lyrics I’ll never understand. Some of it is quite [censored] scary, like green bird, the opening vocals are so high I want to kill the cat for singing it. But at least the piano’s nice.

Reading festival is on next weekend. All the plans I made in preparation for the festival have already gone to [censored]. I was gonna start camping on Wednesday nite, but now they say we cant get onsite til Thursday midday. My mate was drive down with me, but the twat didn’t get his licence, so we cant. I never learnt to drive because I live in the middle of London, so why should I? Plus I don’t even have the money to repay the reading ticket, let alone car, insurance, tax etc. The other person I was sharing a tent with has had her nose-job date changed so she can’t come this year. She’s only 18 and having [censored] plastic surgery. My dad says ā€œWe have the bar-mitzvah, they have the nose-jobsā€ Hahaha.
But I’ve got the food; the poi, a leaky tent and a lot of condoms, so I think that’s all God will let go with. I had to buy a [censored] coach ticket because I can’t afford the extra fiver for the train. I’ll still go on Wednesday and UCOF and me will camp under the stars so we can get our friends (none of whom could give us a lift or put us up) decent spaces in the campsite. All I'm waiting for is the fat bonfire and the booze and deafening music. Ah, sacred fire. I was going to by some fire poi just for the festival, but they said they’ll be confiscated if I swing them on the site so fook that.

Still rolling prison rollies, seeing as I can’t sleep, I’m now trying to stimulate myself into some semblance of alertness. So hard. Green bird just came on again. I’ve kicked the cat out in vengeance. [censored] no ashtray.

My background is a picture of Hunter Thompson and Dr. Gonzo from Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. Its quite scary, Johnny Depp is filling half the screen with his mug, just before he utter the line ā€œGet inā€¦ā€ to Tobey Maguire at the start of the film. What a head [censored] that film is. Talking of films, I know what Jack meant in fight club when he talked about his insomnia at the start. Perhaps I should chop my nads off. Hahaha.

The world does look quite beautiful this time of day (its now 0649). But it’s probably nicer in the countryside. The sky’s just not as big in London. I’m gonna go get that ashtray.

Id forgotten why I went into my room by the time id got there. My ashtray is my old retainer box. Its green. Not much else to say about it, other that it used to hold those accursed retainers. Time to roll.
ā€œ3…2…1… lets jamā€

There’s a beer in the fridge!

Well, not anymore

Enuf of this. I’m gonna go wander the city


See you soon cowboy


EPISODE 2

back once agen for the renegade farter, d4 damage to the nasal passages, with the ill behaviour etc etc etc

same problem, but now im at bording school.

i cant work cuz now ive done it all, ive rerad all i need to the last couple of nights, and im sleeping with my eyes open in lessons. as for sport... im gonna drown in that pool, u watch.

ive even went up on the roof on my own, and pissed off a 60ft drop cuz i could, smoked, jerked off, eaten, all of it I CANT GET NO SLEEP!!!

that song will haunt me forever.

perhaps its cuz i wanna split up with my gf. when im with her its brilliant, but when im here it feels like im not even in a relationship. i love her, but im beggining to feel like i no longer care. itrs not even the sex, cuz thats fantastic, wow, but i just dont know

[censored] it, im gonna go attack some of the little ones in the dormitory with toothpaste
[ Thu Oct 02, 03:56:19 AM | David Vivas | edit ]
back once agen for the renegade farter, d4 damage to the nasal passages, with the ill behaviour etc etc etc

same problem, but now im at bording school.

i cant work cuz now ive done it all, ive rerad all i need to the last couple of nights, and im sleeping with my eyes open in lessons. as for sport... im gonna drown in that pool, u watch.

ive even went up on the roof on my own, and pissed off a 60ft drop cuz i could, smoked, jerked off, eaten, all of it I CANT GET NO SLEEP!!!

that song will haunt me forever.

perhaps its cuz i wanna split up with my gf. when im with her its brilliant, but when im here it feels like im not even in a relationship. i love her, but im beggining to feel like i no longer care. itrs not even the sex, cuz thats fantastic, wow, but i just dont know

[censored] it, im gonna go attack some of the little ones in the dormitory with toothpaste

EPISODE 3

What the [censored] am I doing?
I love Alice, not Kate, not Bid, Ines, Rosa, none of them mean [censored] to me when I compare it to the magnitude that is my love for that girl. When I said I would spend the rest of my life with her, [censored] meant it, compared to the hollow [censored] I’ve spread to the rest of them.
[censored]!
I know that I would, cuz even now, 2 ½ years later, I remember everything, the party, the first kiss, taking the piss out of Kaz, the bus and the walk back to his place, fingering her on the sofa, saying goodbye on the bus, saying ā€œthat’s the last I’ll hear from herā€ followed by a phone call, my mums 40th birthday, going to Cornwall and missing her birthday on the 8th of august, destroying my knuckles the day after, beating the [censored] out of Kaz, losing my virginity with her, the huge amounts of sex, Moulin Rouge and seeing Ciaran crying, the handcuffs, the huge argument we’d had cuz of it, the ring and how fooking long it took to get it on that blindingly hot summers day, the marriage proposal, the sex, then her trying to dump me, admitting of the truth about Kaz and you, trying to reconcile that within myself, the sex, and the goddamned letter. I remember everything about it.
I remember the way you found it such a turn on to flik the bean in front of me, the endless amounts of blowjobs before and after sex, the handcuffs, ā€œMasterā€, spanking, screaming, being busted by my mum, the creaky bunkbed and the Marylyn Manson and Papa Roach posters, Liz, Freddie and Pete, stealing your sisters underwear, your intensity, passion and the way you could be so submissive sometimes, and so bloody in-your-face angry. The way we couldn’t not be in the same room and not touch.
That is why I loved her
That is why I love her
That is why I would be with her now if I could
That is why I am [censored] everything up now
What am I doing? What the [censored] shall I do?

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


BirdGOLD Member
now available in "advanced"
6,086 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom


Posted:
*note To self*

Read this later, it doesn't work at 6:30am!

but for now,

hug hug hug

My state of mind is not yours to define!

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
I love it. More more more.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
So, even after all of this, it still hurts.



I'm not pissed off, I'm depressed to be honest, but I am pissed off with him, Chris that rat-faced prick, for bullying her so much, and with Alice, for letting herself be bullied, when she knows better.

That’s one of the things I always loved about her, she was always so strong, confident, she never took any crap from anyone, and if she were pissed off with you, YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT IT, hell, the whole street would know.
So why is she allowing this arsehole to use emotional blackmail to keep her with him, he’s been threatening to kill himself, texting her non-stop, and then last night he showed up on her doorstep in tears, begging for forgiveness, AND SHE TOOK HIM BACK!!!

When I saw her, she told me all these stories, about how he would be sooo rude to her, and cause her so much grief. Alice has a complex about her body u see, even though she really should be a model, and he would tell her things like ā€œif you had my ex’s breasts, you would be perfectā€ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ I was just shocked that she would take this kinda crap from anyone, let alone her boyfriend, anyone else, in her own words, and she would have nailed them to the floor. I hate it, she hates it, and I can see it's killing her inside.
It hurts to see her like this, she knows he’s bad for her, I know he’s bad for her, her best mate Steph (who I am eternally grateful for getting me and Alice to meet the other day) knows he’s bad for her, her dad Pete knows it, even her 10yo ikle brother knows it, and though everyone tells her not to, she gone back to him.

I just want to make her safe you know, protect her from crap like this spend the rest of our lives together, happily on cloud 9.
And I just got an email from rat-face himself, telling me he wants to chat over msn.
I’ll see what he has to say and I’ll let you know.

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
Good luck man. Bear in mind that women are all nuts. They always go for the dickheads. God knows why.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
thanks man, we're having anuva talk tomorrow

just got back from a punk gig, saw The Filaments, Adequate 7, and Kenisia, sooooo good
A dose of ska flavoured punk was just what i needed to lift my spirits.
speaking of spirits, i didnt drink, which im proud of, and me and depression mixed with drink is just not pretty, im a real surly drunk sometimes...

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
Good one. Booze is pretty crap i always find. Don't know if i could go gigging without at least one pint though. You can't get stoned in most pubs and clubs.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
and just to add:
my great aunt rosa has finally died of cancer, and the funeral is on saturday, so wont be heading out to falmouth frown
im not really upset, happy she finally at peace, she's been fighting for as long as i can remember.

RIP Rosa Wallace

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


jemima (jem)SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom


Posted:
hugs to you mate

hug hug hug hug


me has had acouple of funerals in the past couple of years, but you know, it only makes you a stronger person in the long run

Never assume
Always Acknowledge


BirdGOLD Member
now available in "advanced"
6,086 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug hug

Best wishes to you and your family.

hug hug

My state of mind is not yours to define!

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
thanks guys, it means a lot to me

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
Oi!



Dyke boi!



Bitch!



biggrin



Here you go:


Non-Https Image Link



Non-Https Image Link



Non-Https Image Link



Non-Https Image Link




Come on...snap to it.



biggrin



See you tomorrow night mate!

The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
cloud 9
i am truely unstoppable
I could take on The Hulk AND The Thing at the same time right now, and i wouldn't even break a sweat.
Unsuprisingly Chris has spent not only the last few days driving Alice insane and swiftly reminding her why she dumped him, the damn sneak went through her phone and STOLE my house numba and mobile numba.
So afta an enormous stoner session last night, (held because i believed alice was gonna meet me today no way) i kicked my mates house and fratically cleaned up the bomb hole that is post-stoner party houses, and met Alice at 3pm.
We met, chatted like we always do, ate some pizza bagels, and eventually started talking about "us".
Then Chris phoned...
"hey dave, its Chris"
"yeah... what?"
"we need to talk"
"er... no we dont... why would i... HOW THE FUNT DID YOU GET MY NUMBA!!!?!!! WHY THE FUNT ARE YOU PHONING ME!!??!!!!"
"wheres Alice, i know she's with you"
"yeh, right"
"I know she is man"
"And i know your running around looking for her with a blade, WHY THE FUNT DO U HAVE A KNIFE YOU ************************************ " (her mate who she was supposed to be with clued us in on this, he'd been nonstop phoning her and she wasn't answering)
"I know man"
"well if ure so psychic come and find me, we can talk face to face big guy" (i know i shouldn't antagonise him, but no one who is gona use a knife lets u no they got one, and he's always all talk)
"look, come near me, Alice, or any of her family or her friends, it won't be worth it... savvy?"
"....."
"Savvy?"
"......"
DO U HEAR ME!!! U C**T!!!"
"dead man walking"
"me?"
"Your'e a dead man walking"
at which point i lost consciousness with rage and yelled unprintable obsenities at the rat-face loser. Kinda in a Hulk fashion.
Was only when i hung up the phone that i realised Alice was quivering with fear. Few people have seen that side of me...
We talked for a bit, and went to my best mates house round the corner, just to be extra safe, and for me to talk to him and calm down. Then i turned my mobile on, and the dick had sent me a txt from the 31st saying "o just to let you know she's back with me, unlucky, loser"
HOW RUDE!!! even Alice got mad at that, and then i got anuva txt with is again unprintable, but insulting me, my bording school mates (dis the skool, not my mates), and my parents (again, dis my dad, NOT my mum). i am currently tring to cool down and take the moral high ground, but i just wanna smak his face in

But anyway, nuff of him. Eventually we left my mates house, and came back to mine, and started watching Band of Brothers on DVD. then we got bored and lay down on my bed chatting. then it went quiet.
then

we kissed
we made love, not sex, no no no, thats for other occasions, this was just



love

and now i am invincible

PS UCOF:
yes yes bro!! u dun know i will be there!!!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


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