Managing a "stalker?"

So there's this woman I worked with last year. She's a dentist. At the beginning, we became friends. She seemed funny and vivacious. A good friend. We agreed, half-jokingly that if neither of us had kids by 35 that we'd have kids and raise them together (mind you, we'd known each-other for less than a month when we came to this "agreement").

And then I learned that she's such a sex fiend that she makes me look chaste (and that's not easy). The men she chooses are often older, sometimes married, usually quite wealthy, and (not that it should matter...except that she's not really looking for relatioships) uglier than a rhinocerous with an ingrown horn.

And after a few months it became obvious that she's crazy. Soon the phone calls started becoming incessant. "Pookie, I love you!"

At this point, some of her sexual escapades, I happened to learn, are arrangements where she spends a weekend with a guy, has sex with him, and then somehow comes across a few thousand dollars. Isn't there a word for that? And not that I'm all about morals and stuff, but that crosses a line, especially since she's a licensed dentist and SHOULD be earning money that way.

And now I've learned through a mutual friend that:
1) She feels that I am her "gay soulmate" (I haven't spoken to her in 6-7 months and I have studiously avoided her phone calls)

2) She is certain that she will become the mother of my children.

3) Said children will be concieved au naturale and that I will turn straight if I "would just censored

her tight

"

4) I will eventually turn straight and marry her.

OK, so she's delusional. No, seriously, she's having delusional thinking. Clearly I'm not going to turn straight and I'm not going to have sex with her and she SHOULD be educated and sophisticated enough to know that. Simple enough solution: I set her straight, inform her that I am quite gay to stay, I am not having sex with her, and I am moving to the West Coast and that she will not be the mother of my children and end the "friendship."

Problem: she also has serious issues with abandonment. She's called me sobbing once because a guy got up and ditched her in the middle of a restaurant when she went to the bathroom. Normally, I'd think the guy was a jerk, but honestly, he's probably just a more perceptive judge of character than I am and felt a need to run far away. And besides, delusional people often don't respond well to having their delusions shattered.

I'm afraid that if I simply told her that I didn't want her to be my friend anymore it might be such a blow to her that she might strike out at me in some way and try to harm me, physically or otherwise (she knows where I live, where I work, and my phone number).

Tonight she called me not once, not twice, but THREE times while I was at work. I didn't answer of course, but the first was cloying, the next was plaintive, and the third was almost angry.

I've spoken to our mutual friend about this, but she's not sure how to approach the issue, either. You'd think that if someone didn't answer your phone calls, E-mails, IM's and text messages for several months that you'd get the message!

Ugh. Why do I attract these people?

Any ideas how to surgically remove her from my life with minimum collateral damage?

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

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