Forums > Social Chat > Limmerick Thread
Login/Join to Participate119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
probabally been done before but i missed out.
but i think everyone should share there limericks
they are nice'n'easy and lots of fun.
there once was a boy
who had just got some poi
he set them alite
on the stroke of midnight
and danced around in joy
that same boy
whod just got the poi
he really tried
but regardles he died
so you shouldn't drink soy
thats the best ive got for the moment and id love to hear what everyone else can come up with
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
cmon people i need to here the sweet songs of the emerald isle
Classic 90's Fire Dancer... Poi, Staff, Doubles, and Breathing
743 posts
Location: South Lake Tahoe, USA
I know alot of bad ones, But none that will fit the 'PG' guidlines for HOP.
Sorry bud.
FIRE IS ALIVE!
IT LIVES AND BREATHS!
IT CONSUMES, AND DISTROYS!
BUT WE CONTROL IT,
AND DANCE WITH FIRE!!
729 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
There was a young man with a staff,
Who decided it would be a laugh,
to use nepalm as fuel,
the poor stupid fool,
this little rhyme his epitaph.
442 posts
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
There once was a man from Nantuckett...
Just kidding Pele.
A couple from fake tombstones:
Mike went diving, after dark.
He lost his spear, But found a shark.
Tried his nerve, on a curve, had to swerve, bye bye Irv.
FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
I went through a (very) brief period in my life when I wrote limericks for fun. I don't remember most of them.
Anyways, here are a few that I didn't write.
There was an old sailor named Bates
Who did the fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Complacently stroking his madam
And loud was his mirth
For on all of the Earth
There were only two balls
And he had 'em.
During my limerick phase, a friend of mine challenged me to write one that had the word "Chartreuse" in it. I forget the context, but it probably made no sense, anyways. So here was my (lame) answer. (Can you tell I like risque limericks?)
Two cells in the primeval ooze
Found sex as a way to amuse.
Themselves in the muck,
They invented the f*ck.
After this, did we still need chartreuse?
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
This is a funny thread but it is on the line here (Mike!) so remember all, keep it clean!
to you PWB!
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
member
829 posts
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
im new to this lymeric game
but i think i can provoke my brain
to think like Mike
and rhyme so tight
that i put Eminem to shame..
this is fun
Super'
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
A diner when dining at Crew's
found a rather large mouse in his stew;
said the waiter: don't shout
and wave it about,
or the others will be wanting one too!
best one so far
well i think so
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
I'm praying to god that ya'll consider this clean enough
The maid thought it was true love she found,
When the handsome young centaur came round
but one roll in the hay
and he trotted away
he was only just horsing around
and
Ash Blackstar
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains excite me"
"Only way to deal with Drama, heavy weaponry and a strong does of grow the Hell up"
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" Adam Savage - Mythbusters
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
The Thunder God felt rather silly
Whilst taking a ride on his filly
"I'm Thor" he cried
and the horse replied
"You've forgotten your thaddle you thilly"
~
Is your teacher an old hag?
Does she mutter and grumble and nag?
And do you have a hunch
when the bell goes for lunch
That she runs to the loo for a fag?
~
Or if people are feeling adventurous we could do it the "I'm sorry I haven't a clue!" way.
So to start:
There was a young lady from Rome...
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
829 posts
Location: Brigadoon
There was an old man from St. Bees
who was unfortunately stung by a wasp.
When asked 'did it hurt?'
he replied 'not at all...
it's lucky it wasn't a hornet.'
wherever you go, there you are.
829 posts
Location: Brigadoon
sorry durbs - didn't see that
there was a young lady from rome
who left all her hang-ups at home....
(where's willy rushton when you need him?)
wherever you go, there you are.
member
829 posts
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
i wanted to practice poi
accidently set fire to my toy
toy meaning member
found in male gender
now im no longer a boy.
Super'
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
what does everyone think about doing a combined one where some1 starts it off and then the next person continues it in limmerick form.
ill start
the once was a girl from china
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
but still post any limmericks we can just keep doing the combined simultaniously.
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Whose hair was like silk only finer
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
she jumped in a cart
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
errr - wasn't that what I was doing?!
Anyway...
But sat on a dart
[ 30. January 2003, 21:47: Message edited by: Durbs ]
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
119 posts
Location: Newcastle, Australia
hmmm difficult
and the police had to find her so that is the first complete limmerick from a team . yay us.
there once was a girl from china
Whose hair was like silk only finer
she jumped in a cart
and sat on a dart
and the police had to fine her
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
hmmm - a few syllabals short there I think...
The other one was:
there was a young lady from rome
who left all her hang-ups at home
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Although she felt free...
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
(As a Roman Lady could be)
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
She'd still pad her bra with some foam.
(that wasn't easy).
Ok, I'll start the next.
A ring on your finger is nice,
But allow me to give some advice:
for those of you who are stuck, go to www.rhymezone.com/
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
A ring on your finger is nice,
But allow me to give some advice
If the ring doesn't fit
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
member
170 posts
Location: The Giant Mushroom, United Kingdom
Durbs!! That's asking for trouble.....
Erm....
A ring on your finger is nice,
But allow me to give some advice
If the ring doesn't fit
Just stretch it a bit
Fish are just like trees except they move and they're invisible
829 posts
Location: Brigadoon
and it'll slip on and off in a trice.
There was a young man from Uffingham
who stood on a bridge in Buckingham
watching the stunts of the c**ts on the punts
and the dicks of the pricks that were f**king 'em.
that's not too rude is it?
ok, back to "i'm sorry i haven't a clue"
In matters relating to sin....
wherever you go, there you are.
829 posts
Location: Brigadoon
in matters relating to sin
i advise you to just get stuck in.
You can hide any crime,
if you learn how to lie,
except from your own siamese twin.
couldn't wait for that one to be finished i'm afraid. i'll tell you what - i'll start another one and bugger off so i don't finish that one too.
I once knew a big Welsh coal miner...
wherever you go, there you are.
459 posts
Location: Richmond, Virginia
I have two favorites, they go like this:
"There once was a man from Peru
Whose limmericks stopped at line two."
And like this:
There once was a lady from Verdunn,"
That is all
Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.
Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
The limerick I had in mind when I started the last one was this rather cynical one:
"A ring on your finger is nice
But allow me to give some advice:
Once you say "I do,"
She's got hold of you
With the strength of a cast-iron vise."
"Lose weight!" said the doc to the man.
Said he: "I don't think I can!
For I love my french fries
(And I do super-size)
So a heart attack's part of G-d's plan!"
Hee hee! These are fun! Thanks to Blackstar for starting this thread!
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Lets save that one from earlier in the thread:
there once was a girl from china
Whose hair was like silk only finer
Her boyfriend, cute bloke,
On the hair he did choke...
And if you can add a final line that isn't lewd, you are a more talented wordsmith than I.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
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