Posted: My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God. -- Albert Einstein
MikeGinnyGOLD Member HOP Mad Doctor 13,925 posts Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted: "It's finally time to get something out of your Stanford education. Let me talk to you about erections." -Professor Robert Sapolsky in a neurobiology lecture
"Actually, I did rather well for myself last Christmas. The nicest present I recieved was a gift certificate redeemable at any hospital for a free lobotomy. Rather thoughtful." -Tom Lehrer
"In considering competing theories of evolution, we will not be discussing young earth creationism and other children's stories." -Stephen J. Gould
"Medical school is kind of like Hell. Except you have to pay tuition." -Disgruntled medical student who wishes to remain anonymous
"It's like deja-vu all over again!" -Yogi Berra
"My wife and I used to be intellectuals. And then we had children." -Bill Cosby
"People often come up to me concerned that I might...reproduce." -Emo Phillips
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
Posted: The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
On the other hand, you have...different fingers
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.
Key Ring: A handy gadget that lets you lose all your keys at once.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are your waiting?
But the lies we live will always be confessed in the stories that we tell. (Orson Scott Card)
Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservations. (Elton Trueblood)
Faithless is he who quits when the road darkens.(J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings)
Faith makes all things possible. Love makes all things easy. Hope makes all things work.
Faith is believing in what you damn well know isn’t true. –Mark Twain
When Ghandi was asked what he thought of Western Civilization, he replied, “I think it’s a great idea.”
Love has reasons that reason knows nothing of.
The truth will set you free...but first, it will make you miserable.
Having the right to do it, doesn't mean it is right to do it.
Imbesi's Law of the Conservation of Filth: "In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty." Freeman's Extension: "...but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean."
In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving. (Sheldon Kopp)
Knowing what to say is not always necessary; just the presence of a caring friend can make a world of difference. (Sheri Curry)
Leave loved ones always with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. (Abraham Lincoln)
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. (Maori proverb)
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Never let your morals stop you from doing what is right. (Isaac Asimov)
We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened
We often fear being rejected so very much that we reject ourselves first before anyone else has the chance.
Not all those who wander are lost –J.R.R. Tolkein
It is better to burn out….then to fade away- Def Leppard
Keep your dream alive Dreamin is still how the strong survive
austin powers- "allow myself to introduce....myself"
Monty Python & the Holy Grail- "we are the knights who sayyy.....NEE!!" "she turned me into a newt!!........I got better" "now go away or i shall taunt you a second time"
Posted: -"Why is it people with closed minds always open their mouths"-Nyx's bumper sticker
-"One bad apple spoils the bunch"-Who hasn't quoted this one?
-"Better to have loved and lost,than never have loved at all"-Someone has to know this one?
JeStErSILVER Member enthusiast 214 posts Location: Melbourne Australia
Posted: Be suspicious of anything that works perfectly it's probably because two errors are canceling each other out. Dave Bartley
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. Robert Benchley
It is difficult for me to comprehend the fact that some people actually do not consider all uses of explosives to be recreational. Ragnar Benson
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. John Bernal
There are four types of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. Ambrose Bierce
Never before have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church? Black Adder II
If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. Mister Boffo
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true. Niels Bohr to a young physicist
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathaniel Borenstein
If God has made the world a perfect mechanism, He has at least conceded so much to our imperfect intellect that in order to predict little parts of it, we need not solve innumerable differential equations, but can use dice with fair success. Max Born
The human race likes to give itself airs. One good volcano can produce more greenhouse gases in a year than the human race has in its entire history. Ray Bradbury
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. Leonard Brandwein
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. Ashleigh Brilliant
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Ashleigh Brilliant
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down. Ashleigh Brilliant
Sometimes I need what only you can provide - Your absence. Ashleigh Brilliant
The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing. William J. Broad
We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. David Brower
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: (1) not going all the way; and (2) not starting. Buddha
I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. George Bush (gotta love and fear those Bushisms)
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true. Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion
Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions. Henry N. Camp
[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. Joseph Campbell
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. Henry Cate VII
What doesn't kill me better be able to run damn fast. Rich Chandler
Truth: the most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of destroying entire perceptual sets, cultures, and realities. Outlawed by all governments everywhere. Possession is normally punishable by death. Richard Childers
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce" Winston Churchill
A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea. John Ciardi
Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. Arthur C. Clarke, Technology and the Future
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook
There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Lord Thomas Robert Dewar
never write device drivers while on acid! MJ Dominus
We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. Thomas Edison
Where the world ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings, admiring, asking and observing, there we enter the realm of Art and Science. Albert Einstein
The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking. The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. Albert Einstein
But the creative principle resides in mathematics. In a certain sense, therefore, I hold it true that pure thought can grasp reality, as the ancients dreamed. Albert Einstein
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World ar IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? Jules Feiffer
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! W. C. Fields
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged. John M. Ford
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't ctually live longer; it just seems longer. Clement Freud
Trying to play the Akashic records, but my turntables not compatible.
.Morph.SILVER Member addict 669 posts Location: Lancashire, UK
Posted: I've been listening to Unkle's album Psyence Fiction and lifted these quotes courtesy of Thom Yorke:
'I feel that this has given me the most incredible and wonderful thing that I have been given and also the worst. It's a mixed bag. I have been taken to the absolutely to the depths of extreme terror by this. I've had my whole soul undermined by it, on one hand - on the other hand in one sense my journey has been about finding joy.'
'If you're frightened of dying and your holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made you're peace then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.'
Bram....member 1,551 posts Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Posted: "He who fights with monsters must watch that he does not become a monster" -Freidrick Neitzche
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
Posted: "Helplessness, pain, angst, fear, anger (some of the darker human emotions) put to paper, have been released, and lose there inexplicable ability to torment the soul. …Or is my hope anyway. I have always disliked exercises in futility." - Me
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook.
"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers." - Leonard Brandwein (in other words: beware of me)
"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." - Eric Porterfield
"Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job." - Samuel Goldwyn.
"If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter." - Albert Grant.
"When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of this mess I am in now he thought for a long time and said, 'Yes, death would help'." - Robert Morley.
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." - Duglas Adams.
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb.
"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." - Orson Welles.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.
CharlesBRONZE Member Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer 3,989 posts Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted: "Dogs are my favourite people..."
I can't even remember where i heard that, but I love it!
HoP Posting Guidelines * Is it the Truth? * Is it Fair to all concerned? * Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships? * Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Posted: I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity. -- Albert Einstein
back from the dead is this tread
And not to be mean or anything, but I think in this format, less is more. While a whole bunch of quotes are cool, I think they'd be better recieved if done in little short spurts of say half a dozen or less. just easier to read and makes the thread have more flow. Than people can have an easier time of responding with their own quotes.
1. Ofcourse we'll get married, just lay still would you...........- My Mate
and one for the Mod's
2. Suck Satans C**k - Bill Hicks
3. It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm aaaaall out of gum - Duke Nukem
4. See, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you dont think drugs have done good things for us....do me a favor......go home tonight and take all your albums, and all your tapes, and all your cd's and burn them! 'Cause you know what? The musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your life thougout the years......RRRRRReeeal fucking high on drugs...... -Bill Hicks......
5. If you die....you die......so stop wasting time! ME
thats it.....
[ 09. March 2003, 10:36: Message edited by: Jackelero ]