Forums > Social Chat > Really peeeeeved

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
I'm sad that I couldn't be there to help. Sorry to hear of your experience man . The karma you earned from facing that will come back to you, you can count on it!
It's people like you and your friend that the twirling community is truly built on - enthusiastic luverlies!
May the light of you and your friend's twirling never go out!!!!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Cheers B, OOHHH im all wound up thinking about it. I know there are loads of much more genuine peeps out there cos it was meeting them that got me into poi in the first place XXXXx

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Hey, Ziara, calm it down a little please. That was very hurty, and I don't even live in London...

I am very sorry that you had a bad experience there. It is awful that people were rude to you & to your friend. You are welcome here on this site, and if there is anything at all we can help you with we will. I also know a lot of excellent people in London, who I am sure would be happy to look out for you at the next event you attend. I know that they would hate to think that someone had gone away with this impression.

I know you are angry, and rightly so, but there isn't a need to shout. Raise the issue, and we can help out where we can. (Any people who were rude, probably won't even realise that this message is directed at them, unfortunately )

Please take care, & come back to the site so we can find some nicer people for you to hang out with.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Wow, sucks man sorry to hear about that expirence. I know I for one am egotistical, but that happend long before poi.

Ya we can be clique, I wont be an ass and tell you that was an isolated incodent. All social groups are, no matter how much some may try not to be, cliques still form.

All I can say is that I am sorry that you experienced the down side of those cliques. I can only hope that next time (if there is and I hope there will be) things will be different. Some times we just need a swift kick in the ass to get us back on track.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Hey - truly sorry and hurt you feel that way and that people weren't nice to you.

I was there. I don't think I could find it in myself to be nasty about someone's spinning though cos I'm not that good and I love teaching others. Sorry I didn't get to meet you or your friend.

grrrrr! that's really bad.

Geologists do it in the dirt................

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
I dint mean to be hurty or shouty. I realise this is a minority and I said at the end that i also met a lot of great people.

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
OK, it's a shame that you happened to meet some of the less open minded people at this event. But I think it's a greater shame that you have focused so heavily on the negative people, rather than the nice people you met. Is it really a valuable use of your time getting annoyed and venting at people who you don't like or care about? Or would it be better and more positive for yourself and your outlook on life to focus on the fact that you also met some nice people.

You know there are all sorts of people out there. Just because somebody spins doesn't mean that they're going to be a lovely fluffy person and that you'll like them. There's a lot of ego out there as spinning can so easily be seen as a competitive thing. Not everyone is open and friendly. The only common denominator is that you're both human and spin, so don't expect too much.

Also perception might be an issue. Most spinners find it slightly amusing to see people smack themselves with their poi, because we all do it and as beginners we all bruised ourselves. Personally my nose is still hurting today after whacking it twice on Saturday. This could be seen as being mean, but may well be meant as differently.

I would be interested to know which event you're talking about, but I'm guessing it was last Saturday's PiP. As somebody who's helped organise such events maybe you could PM me to discuss it and let us know how you think we can improve such events in the future.

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Sounds like a pretty bad experience.

My first jump into the world of HoP was great, though, so I am hoping that the situation you are describing was an abberation.

I have found the people I have met from HoP to be pretty nice, so far.

Raph

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Cheers Fluffy,

Hopefully i'll meet you next time

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Hey Ziara, its a bummer that there are people like that out there, I was at PiP in London this weekend and didn't encounter any problems even though I'm still learning stuff and am quite a beginner myself.

I feel a deep empathy for your friend and am quite ashamed of this being traced to HoP, the majority of people here are thoughtfull and kind, the speed with which I was welcomed here amazed me.

Speak to Dom, he's a man with a heart of gold (although that may be a rumour) and will endeavor to solve any problems you have.

We're not all meanies here and I'm sorry for the people that caused you so much pain.

Kurobei

whats up with all the limitations?

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Sad to hear that but let me add one thing ... I know quite a few people who attend and I know how beautiful they are indeed

you know sometimes people who are shy get a bit defensive ? maybe that was part of the vibe as well.... ?

again the sayign "don't spend too much time wondering what people think of you cause they are allready too worried about what you think of them" applies here ?

It is hard to fit in a group that allready know themselves so well, but I also think you had bad luck.

It is good you worded your disappointment because it has to be heard, but don't judge everyone by just a few people (including here Dom's valid point about misunderstanding)

I sure hop to meet you and your friend when I come to London in a few weeks and we can giggle and play together.

cheer up and cheer your friend up. Being a beginner is a bit tough and frustrating, but tehre are tons of us willing to help and smile, don't give up on us

Hope to see you soon !!!!

shine on
cassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
It's a shame you managed to run into the few bad apples that sound like they're well on the way to giving the rest of the people there a bad reputation.
I'm hoping it was just a misunderstanding, if they were genuinely being nasty, you were just very unlucky to meet them.
I assure you the ratio of nice to nasty people meant that the odds were in your favour to meet someone nice who'd help you learn rather than someone who'd knock you down to enlarge their ego just that little bit more.

How about you give spinners in general another chance and come along to spitalfields on tuesdays (today, woohoo ), the info about that is here.

Did you have a go with the bubblewrap by the way? or was there someone sleeping on it by then?

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Well, most of us don't live in London and many of us don't even live in the U.K. Sure wasn't me.

I encourage budding spinners and try to help them. Some of the people I've taught to spin have gone on to become amazing spinners who dazzle me with the beauty of their art. Some give up.

But I would never dream of hurting a budding spinner by showing off and doing the "nyah nyah" thing.

And whoever you are that did this, you should be ashamed of yourselves. It's even not an issue of how a spinner should act, it's an issue of how a decent human being should act.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
hey ziara,just wanna say i know where you are coming from. i turned up on the common (after walking miles over to the other side where the hoppers were hiding, grr) by myself not knowing anyone and 5 minutes later i left feeling like a right idiot. i thought maybe i would get a nice welcome from people who didnt recognise me , glad that someone else turned up. but hey, maybe I was expecting abit much. its the last time i venture to a hop event. man from what i here about your experience if i had got my pois out i would have been shot(im very much a beginner!).
much love x

Never doubt that a small group of crusties, activists, and politicos can change the world... in fact, it's the only thing that ever does ;-)

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
OK, I hope I'm not sounding too defensive here, but firstly Ziara tells me that it wasn't the PiP event.

holly, sorry that there wasn't a welcoming committee, but with 100 people there nobody knew everyone else, half the people were strangers to me. These are not HoP organised social introductory events with a welcoming committee, these are free, random gatherings disorganised by a handful of spinners in London. We just suggest you turn up where we're going to be and leave the rest up to the individuals.

Most people tend to be quite shy about introducing themselves to a group, but it works both ways. Personally I'd love to be able to chat to everyone there, but I find that impossible to do, especially if I'm in an extra quiet mood. Some people can chat to everyone, others can't or don't, that's humans for you! Many people take time to get comfortable with people, especially large groups of strangers. So I'm afraid that turning up and expecting to be greeted is a bit optimistic, you have to make the effort as much as other people do. Personally it took me ages to get to know some of the spinners I was at weekly workshops with.

And almost nobody I know cares if you're a complete beginner or not. I teach poi to everyone, regardless of level. You want me to show you my easiest or hardest trick? Cool. You want me to spend 2 hours teaching one relatively simple move? Cool too.

Please don't judge every spinning event by just one where you felt uncomfortable or you heard there were some wankers there. Give it time and give it a try. And the good thing about HoP is you can already have contact with some of the spinners. You know that you can turn up and ask for people and chances are they'll be known. Like me, a lot of people know who I am, and I'll happily say hello to anyone (although don't expect too much more!). Cam, Carrey, Ewan, Dave, John, etc... all these are very lovely socialable people at almost every spinning event in London. So come say hello and join the fun.

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
oops, i hit new topic, sorry
any ways they sound like frikin preps...

Walking slowly through the rain...Without worries theres no pain...If you see a shooting star...All your problems seem so far.

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Ok well.
First off.
Big Sorry to holly for the part I played in ruining you afternoon.
as One of the organisers I should have been meeting and greeting, or at least trying to, but I was recovering from a weird morning and trying to catch up with a lot of frinds that I hadn't seen for 2 months.
Point taken, will try to do better next time.

For next time it might help to chose the fluffiest looking person there. (I would have to vote for ros or one of the fairies.)
go up to them and said something like "erm, I'm new and I don't know anyone, and err...."

I would say everything that Dom said but Dom already said it.

Ziara and friend I'm sorry to hear that you had a bummer to do with poi. here are some smiles

be fluffy

Drew

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Hi Ziara,

Just like to add that like most people I'm a tad saddened that you and your friend had such a hard time of it. I haven't been down london way myself yet, but everyone I've met so far through this site are angels so don't think you can't go back next time and give it another go with a crowd of lurrrrvly happy chilled out people... could be a completely different experience, I hope so.

If all else fails you'll always be merrily met in the midlands Haven't checked sheffield myself yet but sounds like marsh~mellow heaven Most importantly don't be put off by those few in the minority, it's no reflection on you or your friend - just unfortunate.

Hope next time is soooo fluffy you spin until the world turns on it's head!

chalice

Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside wakes C G Jung

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Nice post glass.

If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Dom & Glass are so right about the "works both ways" thing. I have been on both sides, I have been the new person, and the person who has been there before.

As the new person, I found that the evenings really didn't get going until a couple of hours in. It almost required you to practice a bit, so that people could see what you were there for. And it was so much better if you talked to people. Find someone good, who is smiling at a lot of people, and seems quite chatty in a pleasant way, then ask them to show you what they are doing. You'll often find that as the event goes along, the groups break down, and people start teaching one another stuff. That is the best point cos you can start meeting new people.

As an old person (check the zimmer frame ) I have been out twirling when new people arrive in the group. The toughest is when they arrive with a group of friends, cos you feel really, really shy about going up and breaking in on a conversation. If they come on their own, it is easier. But you have to sort of untangle yourself from the group you are in and stretch out a hand. That can sometimes be quite tough. But I am getting better at it.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 8th Oct 2002
Hmm, now knowing that it wasn't PiP that this thread was made about, my bubblewrap comment looks rather odd. Oh well, 20/20 hindsight and all that.

I'm not sure why I feel so slighted by some comments made in this thread, since I did exactly zero organising the meet in clapham, but I do anyway.
I'd like to add another comment along the same lines as a few already here - Life is what you make of it.
At the first clapham meet, I had a major self lack of self confidence and spoke to pretty much no-one the whole time I was there. I don't want to say it was completely pants since I saw some incredable spinning, but being honest, it wasn't great for me at all.
However, as a result of turning up to Spitalfields and making myself speak to people, I had a much better time at Clapham on saturday.
Since everyone's chatting and spinnin, it's quite easy to forget to say hello to everyone - it really is a case of having to introduce yourself to a few people, they wont bite - well, not most of them anyway

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Posted: 9th Oct 2002
I be the 'fluffy' Ros that Glass speaks of.

I know how you feel Holly. At the first PiP I went to I hardly spoke to anyone but thankfully my boyfriend was there so I wasn't alone. If I'd seen you looking puzzled and alone I would most certainly have come and offered you a hug and a chat, a spin and a fairy cake - but with so many people (many londoners who knew each other) it's hard to see what's going on.

If you say to someone you're new and a beginner, they'll help you and be lovely. on the whole. People find it just as hard introducing themselves to you as you do to them - we're all in the same boat methinks.

Truly sorry I didn't get to meet + spin with you and so many other people though. Muchly hoping this hasn't put you off coming to other gatherings sweetie......

Geologists do it in the dirt................

Posted: 9th Oct 2002
Z !, Im sorry to here that the world is still has more than their fair share of people with the interlect of a diatom.

But cheer up it took a lot of gut's to just throw herself in.

Im fairly new at this to so tell her keep her head and have a different approach . Don't be ashamed to say "im a newbie"

Anyperson can acheive anything if they don't have fear in their heart.

that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

Posted: 9th Oct 2002
Good quote Ivan..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 9th Oct 2002
Hey Ziara,

Shame that you had such a bad experience with a few dickheads. I was quite anti-social myself Saturday as I came with a group of non-poi friends and we sat back and enjoyed free flowing wine, sake and enjoyed the fab performances sounds of bubble wrap being popped.

Although some fab spinner did ask did I spin to hip-hop cause of the way I bounce everywhere! Think its just the Irish in me jigging away but I'll take the comment as an expression of my 'unique' style (ie I look like a bunny on E!!)

Hope your friend has not been discouraged and keeps playing.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

Posted: 10th Oct 2002
heya Ziara, after having made a gazillion friends here, (hopefully me included - i take baths y'know!) there's like this huge support base for your poi learning that these meanies may never have!
you know what they say: fabulous hair is the best revenge! (sushi is the only dish best served cold.) mmmmmm fish.

Here's a quote i fink best sums up your experience with nastie pasties and Home of Poi:
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can somehow become great"
- Mark Twain

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

Posted: 9th Oct 2002
A GRACIOUS WELCOME
________________________________________

what an excellent, hostly post from Drew

quote:

---

Originally posted by glass:
Ok well.
First off.
Big Sorry to holly for the part I played in ruining you afternoon.
as One of the organisers I should have been meeting and greeting, or at least trying to, but I was recovering from a weird morning and trying to catch up with a lot of frinds that I hadn't seen for 2 months.
Point taken, will try to do better next time.

---

& glass wasn't one of the cads, but a host who didn't know the slight was happening.

hope i express myself as well to anyone who doesn't feel properly welcomed here in SoCal at an OrangeFire event.

i am the first not to deny or counterspeak your feelings & experience, Ziara. they are the reality in which the beauty of fire's art shattered for a night and many days.

THEM (who we're rather were part of US)
_______________________________________

something which troubles me recently is how veterans who have always been friendly, when a pyro community starts to grow, sometimes start to be overwhelmed by what it takes to reach out to new members themselves, when they suddenly multiply. what was once fun for them, teaching one or two newbies, becomes a chore, being asked to watch sometimes raw new spins cuts into their own practice & performance time. . . and every newbie does deserve attention during your spin, so as a group enlarges, you gotta find those fewer, more dedicated souls who do it for friendship first, for being good people, who care about being an actual family, not the horrorshows we diss - who come to you not for art quality, though we all love fire. who don't only go up to new supertalented prodigies, but welcome everyone into their hearts for real, into the arena that night as a home, not just their home, but know they join you in your home.

possibly compounded by what's going on in the rest of their lives -- their warmth may break down. not nice. not proper. not desirable. not good mentorship. not good friendship. for a while.

damn part of it is their growing, if & when they do. they didn't see it coming. success in the form of new players promotes them from just-a-few-friends firephools, no matter how dope their moves, no matter how chill their initially small (some don't realize or mean it to be a clique) vibe, to a bigger role themselves. to being senior members in a tribe. where strangers must be welcomed, even sought, and initiated. & when i say senior, age has very little, really, to do with it. look at THE UNITED CHAINS OF FIRE & his troupe. ya know, Jonathan's 17, one of the most outgoing London HoPpers?

equally, i'm not apologizing in the sense of justifying any cad.

i'm apologizing, i now hope, in glass's sense, as someone who nurtures pyros, loves fire, and wants you to be so thrilled it's one of the best first nights of your lives. exactly so you'll bring your 2-weeks past virgin friends.

US
________________________________________

we're overall such a small, scattered community around the world, though you have one of the biggest, most organized concentrations in London, we hate to lose anyone, our advanced people who somehow (many ways) "lose it," and while that's artistically/ quality-wise terrible, the loss of the new who come with love to the fire, that's inexcusable.

YOU (as part of US)
________________________________________

please enjoy your fire, you and your friends. please practice, and have fun with it. then give your love as mentors yourself, sharing the joy, hosting others and making our community in place of those who have let their role fall away. forgive them, if you can, forget or ignore them, and become the good people you are here to meet among us. be our friends, and

Ziara, welcome to the fire, all your crew!

& for now, the Muse whispers to me out of the flame,

"Piece of Wick, Love of Fire, Unity of Velocity, Respecting Everyone's Fuel,"

~ Mikie

[ 10 October 2002, 14:32: Message edited by: FíreMîke ]

molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US