Forums > Social Chat > Handy Jack Rant!!!
Login/Join to ParticipateAnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Well my dog has been put in lock up at the dog pound. They'll only let me visit him every third Sunday! And that's the day I wash my one pair of skater shorts, so I can't choose which to go to. Someone please tell me???
That and my mum won't mend the holes in my socks... So I can't spin inside anymore!
If you are just going to tell me to go outside and get a life, please keep it to yourself! Only supportive suggestions allowed!
Well my dog has been put in lock up at the dog pound. They'll only let me visit him every third Sunday! And that's the day I wash my one pair of skater shorts, so I can't choose which to go to. Someone please tell me???
That and my mum won't mend the holes in my socks... So I can't spin inside anymore!
If you are just going to tell me to go outside and get a life, please keep it to yourself! Only supportive suggestions allowed!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
No worries! How do you feel about the colour purple?
Written by: Pink...?
Oh sorry,
*sits attentively*
No worries! How do you feel about the colour purple?
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I really like it. It's a wonderful colour. I have many purple clothes. I also like green. Purple and Green together is nice
I really like it. It's a wonderful colour. I have many purple clothes. I also like green. Purple and Green together is nice
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
So do you think I should just move on? Find a replacement for my doggie? Think I can teach the cat to spin? But then what if the dog, my mum and my gf come back? Help me!!!!
So do you think I should just move on? Find a replacement for my doggie? Think I can teach the cat to spin? But then what if the dog, my mum and my gf come back? Help me!!!!
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I think you should move on, and find a squirrel to teach poi to, then set up a new troupe.
And if you're mum, dog and GF come back, take Vanize's advice and shoot them
I think you should move on, and find a squirrel to teach poi to, then set up a new troupe.
And if you're mum, dog and GF come back, take Vanize's advice and shoot them
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
*helps patrick into a back to front jacket with extra long arms*
Now just relax babe, everything is going to be just fine. Mind your head as you get into the back of this nice white van.
Written by: Patrick the Glitter Badger!
Help me!!!!
*helps patrick into a back to front jacket with extra long arms*
Now just relax babe, everything is going to be just fine. Mind your head as you get into the back of this nice white van.
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
No way Skully! They warned us at Bible Camp about people like you!!! Don't you think after all them times taking rides from strangers and getting tied up, that I wouldn't learn something????
No way Skully! They warned us at Bible Camp about people like you!!! Don't you think after all them times taking rides from strangers and getting tied up, that I wouldn't learn something????
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
But But But I only wanted to show you my puppies !
But But But I only wanted to show you my puppies !
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Wow! Are you really that lady I read about in the Nation Enquirer? The one who gave birth to puppies?
Written by: Skulduggery
But But But I only wanted to show you my puppies !
Wow! Are you really that lady I read about in the Nation Enquirer? The one who gave birth to puppies?
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
ummm........ if I say yes will you get in the van and come to the secure wing of the ummm I mean will you get in the van and come to see the lovely puppies without a fight?
ummm........ if I say yes will you get in the van and come to the secure wing of the ummm I mean will you get in the van and come to see the lovely puppies without a fight? Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Ah no! And please quit trying to probe me with that thing!
I wish doggie was here to bite you!
Ah no! And please quit trying to probe me with that thing!
I wish doggie was here to bite you!
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
well thats not nice is it!?! I'm only trying to help you! How about if I glue sequins on the front of the lovely back to front jacket spelling out your name?
well thats not nice is it!?! I'm only trying to help you! How about if I glue sequins on the front of the lovely back to front jacket spelling out your name?
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Should you really be around glue?
Should you really be around glue?
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
Oooooo yes I'm great with a glue gun! Worry yea not! I have had much practice glueing loads of things and people together. I think I have the hang of it now!
Oooooo yes I'm great with a glue gun! Worry yea not! I have had much practice glueing loads of things and people together. I think I have the hang of it now!
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Was more concerned with you sniffing the glue!
Was more concerned with you sniffing the glue!
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
Like me sniffing glue could make me any worse...... be serious. It might actually help! Did you ever think of that?
Like me sniffing glue could make me any worse...... be serious. It might actually help! Did you ever think of that?
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
Serious? I am serious! In fact, I'm the seriousest person I know! You're not helping you know! 
Serious? I am serious! In fact, I'm the seriousest person I know!
You're not helping you know! GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
Helping with what?
Helping with what?
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
eye shifter
321 posts
Location: between my headphones
321 posts
Location: between my headphones
Posted:
omg good glue sniffing story....
so my 8th grade english teacher was a bit of a fuckin psycho. so one day we thought it would be funny if we put the markers on top of the dry erase board so she couldnt reach them. when the class started the FREAKED OUT! she saw the markers on top of the dry erase board, brought them down, stared at them for a couple of seconds and said, "i know what you kids do with these, you sniff em." i think she cringed right here then said, "FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS SNIFF MARKERS." then like it never happened went on with the class.
we stopped messing with her after that and she quit that year after.
omg good glue sniffing story....
so my 8th grade english teacher was a bit of a fuckin psycho. so one day we thought it would be funny if we put the markers on top of the dry erase board so she couldnt reach them. when the class started the FREAKED OUT! she saw the markers on top of the dry erase board, brought them down, stared at them for a couple of seconds and said, "i know what you kids do with these, you sniff em." i think she cringed right here then said, "FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS SNIFF MARKERS." then like it never happened went on with the class.
we stopped messing with her after that and she quit that year after.
If I could be granted one wish I would ask for all the questions of the universe.
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
That hasnt made sense to me.
.I was right with the thread till the teacher bit.
Im with Vanize on the solution.
That hasnt made sense to me.
.I was right with the thread till the teacher bit.Im with Vanize on the solution.
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
Patrick I have a solution to all your problems! First of all you need to make your mother think she is going mad. This is an easy task, just watch that really old film 'Gaslight' . Its almost an instruction manual on how to turn a family member nuts!
Once your mother is utterly crazy and barking at the moon cover her with Spray mount glue and roll her in the fluff you have collected by combing all the dogs in your area. Once she is smothered in fur call the dog catcher and get her taken away to the pound. Tell him she is a stump rear legged dog. A very special dog from china. It was bred, for a particulally nasty emperor, to have no back legs so that it couldn't run away from the evil ruler. Warn him that due to not being able to get away from the cruel Emperor lead the breed to learn how to make moaning noised that sound very much like a human saying 'I'm not a dog'. Once the Dog catcher has your mother in The Pound you don't have to worry about her any more as I'm sure they will look after her well and cure her of that terrible smoking habit.
Now get your dog out of the pound.I have already explained in detail how to do this, so I won't go over that again!
Once your dog is out of the pound he will be so grateful to you that he will do anything you say. You will be able to train him to spin any number of poi whilst unicycling backwards up a steep ramp that leads to a tightrope that he will then proceed to walk across, still spinning the poi. On the other side he will mount another unicycle and cycle down the ramp on that side. When he gets down safely to the main stage he will then leap through a fire hoop that you are spinning around your waist onto a big black ball that he will walk across the stage on top of , of course still spinning all his poi, out into the audience. Strapped to his head he will have a tin cup to make a collection of money. Whilst your dog is collecting the money you can show off all your poi moves.
Its so simple I can't think why it took me so long to post this. I hope its not too late.
Patrick I have a solution to all your problems! First of all you need to make your mother think she is going mad. This is an easy task, just watch that really old film 'Gaslight' . Its almost an instruction manual on how to turn a family member nuts!
Once your mother is utterly crazy and barking at the moon cover her with Spray mount glue and roll her in the fluff you have collected by combing all the dogs in your area. Once she is smothered in fur call the dog catcher and get her taken away to the pound. Tell him she is a stump rear legged dog. A very special dog from china. It was bred, for a particulally nasty emperor, to have no back legs so that it couldn't run away from the evil ruler. Warn him that due to not being able to get away from the cruel Emperor lead the breed to learn how to make moaning noised that sound very much like a human saying 'I'm not a dog'. Once the Dog catcher has your mother in The Pound you don't have to worry about her any more as I'm sure they will look after her well and cure her of that terrible smoking habit.
Now get your dog out of the pound.I have already explained in detail how to do this, so I won't go over that again!
Once your dog is out of the pound he will be so grateful to you that he will do anything you say. You will be able to train him to spin any number of poi whilst unicycling backwards up a steep ramp that leads to a tightrope that he will then proceed to walk across, still spinning the poi. On the other side he will mount another unicycle and cycle down the ramp on that side. When he gets down safely to the main stage he will then leap through a fire hoop that you are spinning around your waist onto a big black ball that he will walk across the stage on top of , of course still spinning all his poi, out into the audience. Strapped to his head he will have a tin cup to make a collection of money. Whilst your dog is collecting the money you can show off all your poi moves.
Its so simple I can't think why it took me so long to post this. I hope its not too late.
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
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