Forums > Social Chat > SUICIDE...why??!!!
Login/Join to Participatemember
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
Posted:
alright, one of my really good friends recently moved out of an apartment he head with one of his friends,they had goten into somewhat of an argument and he moved out. the argument wasnt anything really tat major, my friend just wanted to get his own place and his roomate didnt like the idea. well my friend moved out about 2 months ago, in april. his old roommate, moved in with one of his friends in the same apartment complex as my friend. well last week end there was alot of fire and ambulance going in and out of the apartment along with police. me and my friend were wondering what was going on, and found out monday, 2 days ago, that he had killed himself. now my question is why?!? this guy had no major problems, he didnt seem to have a worry at all...and out of the blue he killed himself!!! WTF?!?! i think tha suicide is a chicken shit way out of life, meaning that we were all put on this earth for a reason, and to back out on it is just simply fucked up!! well i just had to get that off of my chest, thank you for reading.
alright, one of my really good friends recently moved out of an apartment he head with one of his friends,they had goten into somewhat of an argument and he moved out. the argument wasnt anything really tat major, my friend just wanted to get his own place and his roomate didnt like the idea. well my friend moved out about 2 months ago, in april. his old roommate, moved in with one of his friends in the same apartment complex as my friend. well last week end there was alot of fire and ambulance going in and out of the apartment along with police. me and my friend were wondering what was going on, and found out monday, 2 days ago, that he had killed himself. now my question is why?!? this guy had no major problems, he didnt seem to have a worry at all...and out of the blue he killed himself!!! WTF?!?! i think tha suicide is a chicken shit way out of life, meaning that we were all put on this earth for a reason, and to back out on it is just simply fucked up!! well i just had to get that off of my chest, thank you for reading.
Peace Luv Uni-t Respect Responsa-what?!?! Xtrem
member
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Posted:
Shitty deal man
Shitty deal man
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
The wave crashing on the beach
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
if we knew why, mebbe it wouldn't happen so often.
it doesn't always make sense. people can feel that way and not have any idea why.
and once you've started thinking that way, it's easier to go back. easier to think about it the next time.
plus, do you know everything? he might not have said anything. might not have felt comfortable sayin what's wrong... it might have been something "little.."
you never know the answer, that's what's hard.
if we knew why, mebbe it wouldn't happen so often.
it doesn't always make sense. people can feel that way and not have any idea why.
and once you've started thinking that way, it's easier to go back. easier to think about it the next time.
plus, do you know everything? he might not have said anything. might not have felt comfortable sayin what's wrong... it might have been something "little.."
you never know the answer, that's what's hard.
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
member
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Posted:
Yes, sometimes a 'little' thing can be quite serious
Yes, sometimes a 'little' thing can be quite serious
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
The wave crashing on the beach
member
71 posts
Location: Bantry, Ireland
71 posts
Location: Bantry, Ireland
Posted:
Excuse me but "chicken shit???"
How easy do you reckon it is to kill yourself?
Excuse me but "chicken shit???"
How easy do you reckon it is to kill yourself?
member
63 posts
Location: fairieland
63 posts
Location: fairieland
Posted:
XtremRavR,
I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I would just like to share since I have been in that position before. Suicide is a selfish thing IMO. I know that I never thought of anyone else or what they would think or how they would feel. It was a me me me situation. Why can't I be pretty, why can't I be funny, why can't I fit in.
You must know deep down how this person felt and try to remember the happy times. BTW no one, I repeat no one knew what happen to me, I didn't feel like I could talk to even my closest friends. A lot of my friends said afterward that they had no clue I was feeling that way. It wasn't until I was back from the hospital that anyone knew why I left.
I appologize for your loss and hope that you can heal from this and move on. I send you all the fairy sprinkles and joy that I can in your time of mourning. Take care of yourself and your friends, everyone is probably hurting from this loss right now.
Fairy Lady
XtremRavR,
I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I would just like to share since I have been in that position before. Suicide is a selfish thing IMO. I know that I never thought of anyone else or what they would think or how they would feel. It was a me me me situation. Why can't I be pretty, why can't I be funny, why can't I fit in.
You must know deep down how this person felt and try to remember the happy times. BTW no one, I repeat no one knew what happen to me, I didn't feel like I could talk to even my closest friends. A lot of my friends said afterward that they had no clue I was feeling that way. It wasn't until I was back from the hospital that anyone knew why I left.
I appologize for your loss and hope that you can heal from this and move on. I send you all the fairy sprinkles and joy that I can in your time of mourning. Take care of yourself and your friends, everyone is probably hurting from this loss right now.
Fairy Lady
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Did you know that statistically women are less apt to commit suicide because we are so emotional and sensative that we concider other people's emotions and don't go through with it. Men supposedly only concider their situation and so go through with it. At least that is what the report I read said.
I tried to commit suicide when I was younger, about 12 years ago. Vodka and sleeping pills. My friends performed the heimlich and induced vomiting when they figured it all out. It wasn't being chicken at all. I thought I was doing the world a favor. I had friends. I had "a's" and "b's" in school. I worked weekends and nights as a nanny. And I felt worthless. I felt I had nothing to contribute. I felt unimportant and un-necessary. There are a million kids with good grades who can babysit, therefore I am not special so I would not be missed. I conformed and I was miserable. And I never said a thing about it. I felt trapped by my own emotions and my inability to convey it. I felt restricted by everything around me and shadowed over by expectations that I felt were unfairly put upon me. I just didn't see what there was to live for, and so I didn't want to. But I did, and went on to seek control in my life in a whole different way. I became bulemic and I used to use safety pin to prick myself with. The first was for control and the second was in order to feel something clearly, and slight physical pain is a clear sensation. None of it was a solution. That I found within myself.
I love life and have a fervent passion for it now. I feel the entire gammit of emotions and I relish them all. The bulemic urges I still fight but that is an illness I will always have.
They say there are signs of impending suicide, that people will give away their stuff, become reclusive, do thing out of thier personal "norm".
I have known 3 people now who have committed suicide, and from my own experiences I KNOW this is not true. In fact of the three only one left a note and it said "Things that make you go hmmmm...?" . Each person was intelligent, sweet, caring, nice looking, had alot going for them. Each had their reasons that will remain theirs. However, while understanding may not be in your grasp, defiling their memory by calling them a chicken will not make it better either. It is so natural to be really pissed off, but it is also important to remember to let that out, to allow yourself to grieve and then to allow yourself to love your life so that you don't get sucked down the same whirlpool that suicides tend to create.
I completely agree, there is very little in the world that is worth dieing for, and nothing is worth willfully surrendering such a gift....
That reminds me...I'll be right back!
(Hope this helped give a little bit of a different perspective)
I am sorry for your loss...
[ 14 June 2002, 08:16: Message edited by: Pele ]
Did you know that statistically women are less apt to commit suicide because we are so emotional and sensative that we concider other people's emotions and don't go through with it. Men supposedly only concider their situation and so go through with it. At least that is what the report I read said.
I tried to commit suicide when I was younger, about 12 years ago. Vodka and sleeping pills. My friends performed the heimlich and induced vomiting when they figured it all out. It wasn't being chicken at all. I thought I was doing the world a favor. I had friends. I had "a's" and "b's" in school. I worked weekends and nights as a nanny. And I felt worthless. I felt I had nothing to contribute. I felt unimportant and un-necessary. There are a million kids with good grades who can babysit, therefore I am not special so I would not be missed. I conformed and I was miserable. And I never said a thing about it. I felt trapped by my own emotions and my inability to convey it. I felt restricted by everything around me and shadowed over by expectations that I felt were unfairly put upon me. I just didn't see what there was to live for, and so I didn't want to. But I did, and went on to seek control in my life in a whole different way. I became bulemic and I used to use safety pin to prick myself with. The first was for control and the second was in order to feel something clearly, and slight physical pain is a clear sensation. None of it was a solution. That I found within myself.
I love life and have a fervent passion for it now. I feel the entire gammit of emotions and I relish them all. The bulemic urges I still fight but that is an illness I will always have.
They say there are signs of impending suicide, that people will give away their stuff, become reclusive, do thing out of thier personal "norm".
I have known 3 people now who have committed suicide, and from my own experiences I KNOW this is not true. In fact of the three only one left a note and it said "Things that make you go hmmmm...?" . Each person was intelligent, sweet, caring, nice looking, had alot going for them. Each had their reasons that will remain theirs. However, while understanding may not be in your grasp, defiling their memory by calling them a chicken will not make it better either. It is so natural to be really pissed off, but it is also important to remember to let that out, to allow yourself to grieve and then to allow yourself to love your life so that you don't get sucked down the same whirlpool that suicides tend to create.
I completely agree, there is very little in the world that is worth dieing for, and nothing is worth willfully surrendering such a gift....
That reminds me...I'll be right back!
(Hope this helped give a little bit of a different perspective)
I am sorry for your loss...
[ 14 June 2002, 08:16: Message edited by: Pele ]
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I am back..I collect speeches and sayings and stuff in a journal, but I had to go sift through the stuff that was in the fire for it.
Anyway, in the late 80's-early 90's there was a show about vampires called "Forever Night". On it there was a vampiric character who had a radio talk show and he would say some of the most incredibly profound and eloquent things...I wrote several down. This speech came from the final episode, I thought you might appreciate it.
Again my sympathies to all who loved your friend.
LeCroix's Speech
Life is a gift
As sweet as a ripe peach
As precious as a gilded jewel
I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure
And what is there to gain?
How dark can your existence be when compared to an eternal void?
Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond
What do you see from where you stand?
A bright light at the end of the tunnel?
It is a ray of hope, a glimmer of something better?
Or will it burn you like the rising sun?
Is that sound you're hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's Angels,
Or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls?
You can't answer that can you?
You will never know the answer until the deed it done
And is your faith really that strong?
I understand the need to move on
It happens to us all,
And maybe your time has truly come.
I also understand that with the beauty of this life ther comes pain and despair
No one is immune
But concider what you have in your hands before you give it up
Why trade a treasure for an empty box?
[ 14 June 2002, 08:29: Message edited by: Pele ]
I am back..I collect speeches and sayings and stuff in a journal, but I had to go sift through the stuff that was in the fire for it.
Anyway, in the late 80's-early 90's there was a show about vampires called "Forever Night". On it there was a vampiric character who had a radio talk show and he would say some of the most incredibly profound and eloquent things...I wrote several down. This speech came from the final episode, I thought you might appreciate it.
Again my sympathies to all who loved your friend.
LeCroix's Speech
Life is a gift
As sweet as a ripe peach
As precious as a gilded jewel
I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure
And what is there to gain?
How dark can your existence be when compared to an eternal void?
Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond
What do you see from where you stand?
A bright light at the end of the tunnel?
It is a ray of hope, a glimmer of something better?
Or will it burn you like the rising sun?
Is that sound you're hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's Angels,
Or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls?
You can't answer that can you?
You will never know the answer until the deed it done
And is your faith really that strong?
I understand the need to move on
It happens to us all,
And maybe your time has truly come.
I also understand that with the beauty of this life ther comes pain and despair
No one is immune
But concider what you have in your hands before you give it up
Why trade a treasure for an empty box?
[ 14 June 2002, 08:29: Message edited by: Pele ]
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
Enter a "Title" here:
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
Posted:
I am so sorry to hear about your friend, I dont like people patronizing me so I will keep this short, I offer my most sincier condolences, I know what it is like to lose people, from people I love and consider family to people I barly knew. There is not much anyone can say to make you feel that much better. At least for me that is.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend, I dont like people patronizing me so I will keep this short, I offer my most sincier condolences, I know what it is like to lose people, from people I love and consider family to people I barly knew. There is not much anyone can say to make you feel that much better. At least for me that is.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
member
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
Posted:
thank you all for your kind words, i didnt expect to get an answer of why james killed himself, just wanted a little more...errr...reason behind it. i just dont see killing myself as an option, no matter how hard things get, no matter how much i hate living someimes, i know it will allways hget better, always. its just hard to imagine that ill never see him again, y'know? well a little more herbal medication for me to help with the pain. i hope that none of you ever go thru this, or go thru it again, but i know that is not possible, and its hard.
what is life? what is death? why must we die? questions that will last an eternity.
thank you all for your kind words, i didnt expect to get an answer of why james killed himself, just wanted a little more...errr...reason behind it. i just dont see killing myself as an option, no matter how hard things get, no matter how much i hate living someimes, i know it will allways hget better, always. its just hard to imagine that ill never see him again, y'know? well a little more herbal medication for me to help with the pain. i hope that none of you ever go thru this, or go thru it again, but i know that is not possible, and its hard.
what is life? what is death? why must we die? questions that will last an eternity.
Peace Luv Uni-t Respect Responsa-what?!?! Xtrem
member
63 posts
Location: Victoria, BC
63 posts
Location: Victoria, BC
Posted:
I am sincerely sorry to hear about your loss. And I see the anger and the confusion and all the rest and I get it. Sometimes from the outside, you see it happening, and insist they must be blind. Or maybe you dont see it until after it has happened, and you cant understand, you cant wrap your head around it. Unfortunately, this has been a common theme in my life.
Just a few months ago, I took a rope away from my father so that he could not kill himself. I listened to him speak what were intended to be his last words, and speak them to me. Then I watched him go to his room, and take a rope from his closet and try to leave the house. I took the rope from him and barracaded myself between him and the door. Then listened to him scream of what I was doing to him, and beg me to let him go. I stayed up for weeks after that making sure he wouldn't do it again. Stopping him from taking pills. Checking on him in the middle of the night to see that he was still alive. And why?
I've sat next to my brothers hospital bed more times then I can count in the past few years. Like my father, he feels that he cannot deal with this life. Last time he was in, they said it was a miracle he came out. Over sixty pills. I often know something has happened to him, because I dream of it when it happens. And why?
My sister just recently returned from yet another trip to the hospital. She was in for nearly 3 months this time. She has countless stiches in her arms from where she cut them with a knife. I sat by her bed and listened to her tell me about how they had to strap her down to the bed because she kept ripping the IV out,and trying to stab it in so she could "finish the job". She can no longer multiply 4x6 because the last time she took pills, they caused brain damage. And why?
It hard to watch all the people around you trying to kill themselves when they are living the same life you are. But instead i'm thankful for my life, and cherish every second. Everyone out there has a story, and everyone knows what it is to hurt. Remember that, and know you can make it, because someone has.
Just my thoughts.
-Stace
I am sincerely sorry to hear about your loss. And I see the anger and the confusion and all the rest and I get it. Sometimes from the outside, you see it happening, and insist they must be blind. Or maybe you dont see it until after it has happened, and you cant understand, you cant wrap your head around it. Unfortunately, this has been a common theme in my life.
Just a few months ago, I took a rope away from my father so that he could not kill himself. I listened to him speak what were intended to be his last words, and speak them to me. Then I watched him go to his room, and take a rope from his closet and try to leave the house. I took the rope from him and barracaded myself between him and the door. Then listened to him scream of what I was doing to him, and beg me to let him go. I stayed up for weeks after that making sure he wouldn't do it again. Stopping him from taking pills. Checking on him in the middle of the night to see that he was still alive. And why?
I've sat next to my brothers hospital bed more times then I can count in the past few years. Like my father, he feels that he cannot deal with this life. Last time he was in, they said it was a miracle he came out. Over sixty pills. I often know something has happened to him, because I dream of it when it happens. And why?
My sister just recently returned from yet another trip to the hospital. She was in for nearly 3 months this time. She has countless stiches in her arms from where she cut them with a knife. I sat by her bed and listened to her tell me about how they had to strap her down to the bed because she kept ripping the IV out,and trying to stab it in so she could "finish the job". She can no longer multiply 4x6 because the last time she took pills, they caused brain damage. And why?
It hard to watch all the people around you trying to kill themselves when they are living the same life you are. But instead i'm thankful for my life, and cherish every second. Everyone out there has a story, and everyone knows what it is to hurt. Remember that, and know you can make it, because someone has.
Just my thoughts.
-Stace
We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment, each thought overcome by anticipation of the next, we take the breaks off
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
My most sincere condolences.
It's possible that your friend had depression. Depression isn't just sadness, but a real neurological disease where, for some reason, people's brains don't regulate themselves correctly.
And, unfortunately, there is a stage of depression where it doesn't take a lot to get someone to kill himself.
Last summer, I lost a friend to suicide, too. Minna always seemed so happy, she was always singing everywhere she went. She was a ray of sunshine. One day, she left a note that she had gone biking and would be back by the next morning.
Over the next few weeks, a search went out. I had just left Stanford and I was in Europe. All I could was stop at every internet cafe I could and helplessly read of the fruitless searches on the www.findminna.org webpage. As the weeks went on, I began to realize that if she was still alive, she was probably a captive somewhere and in such suffering that I hoped that they would find her dead. I hoped that she had accidently fallen off a seaside cliff and fallen to an instant and painless death.
A few weeks later she was found hanging from a tree in a nearby park (a big park...and she was far from anywhere were people would usually go in the park). At first, I didn't want to believe that it was suicide. No, not Minna. It must have been foul play!
But then they found her journal nearby. Suicide it was.
Please, folks. If you are hurting inside, get help. People DO love you. If you don't think you matter anymore, then at least think of those who do care. You can get help. It's not your fault. And you don't have to go it alone.
Be well.
My most sincere condolences.
It's possible that your friend had depression. Depression isn't just sadness, but a real neurological disease where, for some reason, people's brains don't regulate themselves correctly.
And, unfortunately, there is a stage of depression where it doesn't take a lot to get someone to kill himself.
Last summer, I lost a friend to suicide, too. Minna always seemed so happy, she was always singing everywhere she went. She was a ray of sunshine. One day, she left a note that she had gone biking and would be back by the next morning.
Over the next few weeks, a search went out. I had just left Stanford and I was in Europe. All I could was stop at every internet cafe I could and helplessly read of the fruitless searches on the www.findminna.org webpage. As the weeks went on, I began to realize that if she was still alive, she was probably a captive somewhere and in such suffering that I hoped that they would find her dead. I hoped that she had accidently fallen off a seaside cliff and fallen to an instant and painless death.
A few weeks later she was found hanging from a tree in a nearby park (a big park...and she was far from anywhere were people would usually go in the park). At first, I didn't want to believe that it was suicide. No, not Minna. It must have been foul play!
But then they found her journal nearby. Suicide it was.
Please, folks. If you are hurting inside, get help. People DO love you. If you don't think you matter anymore, then at least think of those who do care. You can get help. It's not your fault. And you don't have to go it alone.
Be well.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Hi guys,
You always seem to have interesting timing on your posts.
Just recently I was diagnosed with clinical depression. That is exactly what Mike was talking about. I have bouts where my brain does not regulate itself properly. It has a lot of symptoms. For me the most major ones are that I cannot concentrate, I lose my short term memory & I have difficulty thinking. Symptoms similar to Altzheimers. It makes work hellish, as I am not completely able to do my job well, which is important to me. You are also less able to distinguish between peoples opinions of you, and your own opinion of yourself because of your "thinking difficulties".
At the same time the depression makes you more emotional. You respond to things out of proportion, and you take things to heart. Situations often feel quite hopeless.
If the thought of suicide does enter your head (please don't worry. that has not happened to me), it can often be quite difficult to dismiss. You feel absolutely hopeless. At the same time your thinking difficulties mean that it is very hard to see the situation in proportion, and to move beyond what is a quite gigantic mindblock. You are physically unable to move your mind beyond that thought.
Depression is a condition that is manageable. I mentioned in another thread about a course of medication that was making me nauseous. They are anti-depressants. They won't start working properly for another two weeks or so. But I am also seeing a counsellor, which is making me feel much better.
If you think you may be suffering depression or some other form of mental illness, see your doctor. It is also a good idea to keep a journal. Note down what happened that day (just the facts ma'am) and how you felt, what thoughts went through your head. Give the day a rating out of ten. But don't leave the journal around to brood on. Take it to a counsellor and talk it through.
XtremRavR, I am very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself, and if you need to chat, send me through a private message.
R.
Hi guys,
You always seem to have interesting timing on your posts.
Just recently I was diagnosed with clinical depression. That is exactly what Mike was talking about. I have bouts where my brain does not regulate itself properly. It has a lot of symptoms. For me the most major ones are that I cannot concentrate, I lose my short term memory & I have difficulty thinking. Symptoms similar to Altzheimers. It makes work hellish, as I am not completely able to do my job well, which is important to me. You are also less able to distinguish between peoples opinions of you, and your own opinion of yourself because of your "thinking difficulties".
At the same time the depression makes you more emotional. You respond to things out of proportion, and you take things to heart. Situations often feel quite hopeless.
If the thought of suicide does enter your head (please don't worry. that has not happened to me), it can often be quite difficult to dismiss. You feel absolutely hopeless. At the same time your thinking difficulties mean that it is very hard to see the situation in proportion, and to move beyond what is a quite gigantic mindblock. You are physically unable to move your mind beyond that thought.
Depression is a condition that is manageable. I mentioned in another thread about a course of medication that was making me nauseous. They are anti-depressants. They won't start working properly for another two weeks or so. But I am also seeing a counsellor, which is making me feel much better.
If you think you may be suffering depression or some other form of mental illness, see your doctor. It is also a good idea to keep a journal. Note down what happened that day (just the facts ma'am) and how you felt, what thoughts went through your head. Give the day a rating out of ten. But don't leave the journal around to brood on. Take it to a counsellor and talk it through.
XtremRavR, I am very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself, and if you need to chat, send me through a private message.
R.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
member
9 posts
Location: Perth Australia
9 posts
Location: Perth Australia
Posted:
Just a quick message to say ...
that's really sad. I hope you and your friends can deal with the loss in a meaningfull way.
Suicide is a truly fucking heavy thing to deal with, whether you're the one contemplating it or you're trying to talk someone out of it, or you're having to work through the aftermath.
I've talked someone out of it once before, and it was a terrifiying experience.
I've also had a close friend of my family kill himself last year, and whenever I think about it I'm ... still angry at him.
XtremRavR, be well, stay focused.
Just a quick message to say ...
that's really sad. I hope you and your friends can deal with the loss in a meaningfull way.
Suicide is a truly fucking heavy thing to deal with, whether you're the one contemplating it or you're trying to talk someone out of it, or you're having to work through the aftermath.
I've talked someone out of it once before, and it was a terrifiying experience.
I've also had a close friend of my family kill himself last year, and whenever I think about it I'm ... still angry at him.
XtremRavR, be well, stay focused.
member
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
337 posts
Location: amsterdam..i wish
Posted:
pele~~thank you for opening up to me about the experiences you have gone thru, it has helped me to try to understand why someone would do this.
space, mike ginny, rozi, bram, kyrian, caysho~~thank all of you as well for such good vibes, and good feelings, you all are wonderfull people.
life is about smiles and cries, save those for when you need them most because that is all that no person can take away from you.
pele~~thank you for opening up to me about the experiences you have gone thru, it has helped me to try to understand why someone would do this.
space, mike ginny, rozi, bram, kyrian, caysho~~thank all of you as well for such good vibes, and good feelings, you all are wonderfull people.
life is about smiles and cries, save those for when you need them most because that is all that no person can take away from you.
Peace Luv Uni-t Respect Responsa-what?!?! Xtrem
member
238 posts
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
238 posts
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Posted:
Xtrem man,
I dunno what to say to you, xcept I think suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, and I beleive that the will to do so is caused by a chemical imbalance, just like depression is...
I wish you the best throughout this hard time my man. Be strong guy...
Kaos...
Xtrem man,
I dunno what to say to you, xcept I think suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, and I beleive that the will to do so is caused by a chemical imbalance, just like depression is...
I wish you the best throughout this hard time my man. Be strong guy...
Kaos...
Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...
BRONZE Member
member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany
member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posted:
XTremRavR,
I don´t know what to say. I offer you my deepest condolescences, love, and strength to get you through this time. Its horrible when anyone dies and when its by their own hand, it just makes it that much more difficult to understand. I´m sorry that you have been given this burden. I hope your able to find some solace and healing soon.
Much love.
XTremRavR,
I don´t know what to say. I offer you my deepest condolescences, love, and strength to get you through this time. Its horrible when anyone dies and when its by their own hand, it just makes it that much more difficult to understand. I´m sorry that you have been given this burden. I hope your able to find some solace and healing soon.
Much love.
Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.
member
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posted:
Well I have to say that i do not believe that commiting suicide is a 'chiken shit' way outta life....you can't really say that becsue people who commit suicide see it as being the only way out....there is no ohter solution..they are desperate and although other people can see that there is other ways out of it...they can't..that's the hard part about it.
i'm sorry to hear about the dude who did it aye. and as for him not really showing that he was deperate...that is a really common trait with people who do it..they seem perfectly fine..and it is very hard to kill yourself...it takes a shitload of balls!! so i wouldn't underestimate the person too much..but suicide is always a terrible shame. Peace out!! Don't let the hard times get you down too much!
Well I have to say that i do not believe that commiting suicide is a 'chiken shit' way outta life....you can't really say that becsue people who commit suicide see it as being the only way out....there is no ohter solution..they are desperate and although other people can see that there is other ways out of it...they can't..that's the hard part about it.
i'm sorry to hear about the dude who did it aye. and as for him not really showing that he was deperate...that is a really common trait with people who do it..they seem perfectly fine..and it is very hard to kill yourself...it takes a shitload of balls!! so i wouldn't underestimate the person too much..but suicide is always a terrible shame. Peace out!! Don't let the hard times get you down too much!
BRONZE Member
member
19 posts
Location: sheffield,england
member
19 posts
Location: sheffield,england
Posted:
Hey XtremRavR,
So sorry, like everyone else is. I have been in the same place you're in right now. My dad killed himself 6 years ago. I prefer to call it killing himself because i dont believe it should be a criminal offence to kill yourself.
When my dad went i was all over the place for a long time, I caned the herbs, hit the bottle AND started smoking-dont ask me why, I had real trouble accepting that he was gone (still do!)
What my dad did was both stupid, Selfish and inconsiderate. Equally, I think he was courageous, brave and determined.
like your friend, my dad didn't show any "signs" of what he was intending to do or leave a note. That really hurt as i couldnt imagine him not thinking of me before he went or giving me some kind of reason or explanation for what he did. The questions will stay with you forever but the hurt will fade.
My dad's problem, like a lot of people who kill themselves, is that he didn't talk about his feelings. Equally this can in turn affect the people who are left behind. They clam up and dont talk about their own feelings and thoughts on the subject and as a result the people left behing are something like 30% more likely to kill themselves.
I know it's a cliche but it does get better in time, and remember to talk about it!
Sorry to go on but its a subject dear to my heart....just hang in there buddy ;-)
Hey XtremRavR,
So sorry, like everyone else is. I have been in the same place you're in right now. My dad killed himself 6 years ago. I prefer to call it killing himself because i dont believe it should be a criminal offence to kill yourself.
When my dad went i was all over the place for a long time, I caned the herbs, hit the bottle AND started smoking-dont ask me why, I had real trouble accepting that he was gone (still do!)
What my dad did was both stupid, Selfish and inconsiderate. Equally, I think he was courageous, brave and determined.
like your friend, my dad didn't show any "signs" of what he was intending to do or leave a note. That really hurt as i couldnt imagine him not thinking of me before he went or giving me some kind of reason or explanation for what he did. The questions will stay with you forever but the hurt will fade.
My dad's problem, like a lot of people who kill themselves, is that he didn't talk about his feelings. Equally this can in turn affect the people who are left behind. They clam up and dont talk about their own feelings and thoughts on the subject and as a result the people left behing are something like 30% more likely to kill themselves.
I know it's a cliche but it does get better in time, and remember to talk about it!
Sorry to go on but its a subject dear to my heart....just hang in there buddy ;-)
as you think so you are, as you imagine so you become.
member
55 posts
Location: UK
55 posts
Location: UK
Posted:
Hey XtremRavR, Also wanna offer my condolences.
I think that commiting suicide is a one of the most fcuking selfish acts a person can do.
Because things get tuff i know i've been in the position where life did get too much and all that i was expected to achieve i couldn't. As well as loads of other pressures and depression i felt i couldnt cope with it all but then i realsied that if i did take my own life i would be taking the easy way out and hurting everyone who meant anything to me.
in the end i don;t think i could actually kill myself coz i'm too chicken and don't like pain pain!
Its a sad thing to experience and i hope ppl who are faced with the situation that they think they can't carry on living are made to realise that they will hurt everyone who cares about them and there are more than u think!
Hey XtremRavR, Also wanna offer my condolences.
I think that commiting suicide is a one of the most fcuking selfish acts a person can do.
Because things get tuff i know i've been in the position where life did get too much and all that i was expected to achieve i couldn't. As well as loads of other pressures and depression i felt i couldnt cope with it all but then i realsied that if i did take my own life i would be taking the easy way out and hurting everyone who meant anything to me.
in the end i don;t think i could actually kill myself coz i'm too chicken and don't like pain pain!
Its a sad thing to experience and i hope ppl who are faced with the situation that they think they can't carry on living are made to realise that they will hurt everyone who cares about them and there are more than u think!
Beamers Hurt but double Beamers r u insane???Well actually...yes i am!
member
73 posts
Location: Bentley Alberta Canada
73 posts
Location: Bentley Alberta Canada
Posted:
suicide sucks man. i was suicidal for a bit once, and it just gets to ya, and you gotta have somethin there to pull ya bak to the real world and give ya a good smak upside the head and all. i pity anyone who doesnt have the courage to gut out this life to its proper finish and has to end it ahead of time. its like umm, whatshisface, that his signature says "we are all in a cosmic movie" or sumthin. you gotta have a good ending to the movie man. my sympathy to everyone whose known sumone who went out the wrong way.
suicide sucks man. i was suicidal for a bit once, and it just gets to ya, and you gotta have somethin there to pull ya bak to the real world and give ya a good smak upside the head and all. i pity anyone who doesnt have the courage to gut out this life to its proper finish and has to end it ahead of time. its like umm, whatshisface, that his signature says "we are all in a cosmic movie" or sumthin. you gotta have a good ending to the movie man. my sympathy to everyone whose known sumone who went out the wrong way.
~A Soft Rubber Bodybuilding Smurf~
member
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posted:
ok...i can see how so many of you may think that suicide is selfish and the easy way out right...because i've heard so many people say it..and i can see the point of view you are coming from....BUT.....Although many people have experienced someone close to them doing it...i have as well and it is very hard to understand....but that is it..it's hard to understand....you can't judge someone by saying they are selfish becasue they killed themselves...because that person is thinking i am selfish to be alive....the distorted thinking styles of peoplewho do commit suicide is chronic..like they are thinking that they are burdening people by their exsistence by the air they breathe...they feel like the biggest pile of shit you can ever imagine...they may not look it on the outside..but on the inside they are being eaten away by hopelessness, worthlessness...they feel there is no one to turn to...they feel alone..they can't see a solution..they are very very depressed..it is a chemical imbalance..thye cant help their thinking styles..and i don't think you all who are saying it is selfish have a right to do so. I have been there myself, i have friends who have been their, i have had very close friends kill themselves and yet i don't judge them because i know the extent of what they are going through and have gone through..and now i work with psychiatric teens,most people who do it have been feeling fucking bad for a long time...and it is an extremely hard issue to deal with i understand that but..not selfish....my heart goes out to anyone who has had to cope with a tragic loss like that..i'm sorry but it is an issue i have very strong feelings about.
ok...i can see how so many of you may think that suicide is selfish and the easy way out right...because i've heard so many people say it..and i can see the point of view you are coming from....BUT.....Although many people have experienced someone close to them doing it...i have as well and it is very hard to understand....but that is it..it's hard to understand....you can't judge someone by saying they are selfish becasue they killed themselves...because that person is thinking i am selfish to be alive....the distorted thinking styles of peoplewho do commit suicide is chronic..like they are thinking that they are burdening people by their exsistence by the air they breathe...they feel like the biggest pile of shit you can ever imagine...they may not look it on the outside..but on the inside they are being eaten away by hopelessness, worthlessness...they feel there is no one to turn to...they feel alone..they can't see a solution..they are very very depressed..it is a chemical imbalance..thye cant help their thinking styles..and i don't think you all who are saying it is selfish have a right to do so. I have been there myself, i have friends who have been their, i have had very close friends kill themselves and yet i don't judge them because i know the extent of what they are going through and have gone through..and now i work with psychiatric teens,most people who do it have been feeling fucking bad for a long time...and it is an extremely hard issue to deal with i understand that but..not selfish....my heart goes out to anyone who has had to cope with a tragic loss like that..i'm sorry but it is an issue i have very strong feelings about.
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
it is very true, they do think they are being selfish to be alive. and they often think they are doing everyone a favor by not making them put up with them anymore.
which is a whole nother problem.....
it is very true, they do think they are being selfish to be alive. and they often think they are doing everyone a favor by not making them put up with them anymore.
which is a whole nother problem.....
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
member
15 posts
Location: the abyss
15 posts
Location: the abyss
Posted:
I have to admit this thread caught my eye... i'd been a nonregistered lurker. but no mind.
i personally wrestle with some of these thoughts on an irregular basis. you never know how oddly ur thinkin until it's over. i've been able to keep up with school and work for almost 10 months now, but am worried to be slipping again. please don't judge harshly, i have to all but ask to be tied up at times to keep myself from acting on thoughts i conciously know are irrational. but i still feel them.
it's a dark world. but there's a lot of light in it. i'm hoping i'll be able to hang on, but life is full of surprises.
I have to admit this thread caught my eye... i'd been a nonregistered lurker. but no mind.
i personally wrestle with some of these thoughts on an irregular basis. you never know how oddly ur thinkin until it's over. i've been able to keep up with school and work for almost 10 months now, but am worried to be slipping again. please don't judge harshly, i have to all but ask to be tied up at times to keep myself from acting on thoughts i conciously know are irrational. but i still feel them.
it's a dark world. but there's a lot of light in it. i'm hoping i'll be able to hang on, but life is full of surprises.
the night is darkest before the dawn
member
55 posts
Location: UK
55 posts
Location: UK
Posted:
Sorry but i have to disagree with the fact that commiting suicide isn't selfish.
I've been in the situation and it came to the point where i felt that the world would be better off without a pile of shit being myself.
I was a useless/failure/outcast plus i had other issues with rejection and made to feel like nothing from my "dad".
And i really didnt want to live but then
I thought of someone other than myself and thought how killing myself would affect my mom/dad my brother my few friends.
All these issues i'm sure alot of people go through its called life; Deal with it!
Then i realised that the pain i would inflict on them would be just the most awful thing that i could do.
Now i'm glad i didn't go ahead with it becoz i have a beautiful g/f who i love and she loves me. I do poi/music have loads of new friends and i'm looking to do loads with fire so things are going ok!!!
this is from somewhere???
"THE WORLD IS A WHEEL EVERYTHING ALWAYS COMES ROUND IN THE END"
[ 18 June 2002, 06:59: Message edited by: Newborn ]
Sorry but i have to disagree with the fact that commiting suicide isn't selfish.
I've been in the situation and it came to the point where i felt that the world would be better off without a pile of shit being myself.
I was a useless/failure/outcast plus i had other issues with rejection and made to feel like nothing from my "dad".
And i really didnt want to live but then
I thought of someone other than myself and thought how killing myself would affect my mom/dad my brother my few friends.
All these issues i'm sure alot of people go through its called life; Deal with it!
Then i realised that the pain i would inflict on them would be just the most awful thing that i could do.
Now i'm glad i didn't go ahead with it becoz i have a beautiful g/f who i love and she loves me. I do poi/music have loads of new friends and i'm looking to do loads with fire so things are going ok!!!
this is from somewhere???
"THE WORLD IS A WHEEL EVERYTHING ALWAYS COMES ROUND IN THE END"
[ 18 June 2002, 06:59: Message edited by: Newborn ]
Beamers Hurt but double Beamers r u insane???Well actually...yes i am!
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
key words newborn:
key words newborn:
quote:and you came out with that it woudl hurt them. i think that some suicidal people come out with that it will make them happy. that's the difference. or at least can be.
and thought how killing myself would affect my mom/dad my brother my few friends.
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Kyrian is right. When you are the person in that sinking boat, sometimes you think you are helping those you leave behind, and that in it's core is not selfish. There is a dark thoughtfulness behind it. There is also an honour and courage in a twisted way. There is an expression of ultimate love. A person who thinks so little of themself but loves those around him/her so incredibly much to not want to hurt them any longer. Bitterly ironic in it's essence.
However, from those who survive, it is hard to see it that way, especially because of the lack of motive that seems to envelope suicides. We grieve, for the most part, not for the overall loss of life but for the loss of a tremendous presence in our own lives. We grieve because we will no longer share a smile, or a laugh or a cry with a person. We grieve because we will no longer be enriched by their presense. We grieve because something we love is no longer physically attainable in our lives. It is not necessarily the loss of life but the loss of a constant in our own. Through this view suicide is terribly selfish because we weren't thought of, and in the grieving mind (which itself is selfish by nature) we feel betrayed. This is all perfectly normal and should be felt all the way through and should be talked about and should be shouted from the roof tops, but all things should be looked at from the perspectives of the others involved, not just our own. It is amazing how logical the world becomes, and sometimes how twisted in that logic, when you do this.
Anyone recall the 5 steps to grieving?
I can't remember them all, nor can I remember the order but I know it entails: shock, anger, sorrow, (something else) and healing. I think forgiveness needs to be part of this as well. I forgive my loved ones but I will never fully understand. I do know they are somewhere better, more suited to them and that they are still with me when I need them. No question about that.
Dark Mind, between this and the "What Gets You Out Of Bed In The Morning?" thread, I am concerned about you. Please PM me if you need it.
XtremRavR, how are you doing?
Hugs to all....
Kyrian is right. When you are the person in that sinking boat, sometimes you think you are helping those you leave behind, and that in it's core is not selfish. There is a dark thoughtfulness behind it. There is also an honour and courage in a twisted way. There is an expression of ultimate love. A person who thinks so little of themself but loves those around him/her so incredibly much to not want to hurt them any longer. Bitterly ironic in it's essence.
However, from those who survive, it is hard to see it that way, especially because of the lack of motive that seems to envelope suicides. We grieve, for the most part, not for the overall loss of life but for the loss of a tremendous presence in our own lives. We grieve because we will no longer share a smile, or a laugh or a cry with a person. We grieve because we will no longer be enriched by their presense. We grieve because something we love is no longer physically attainable in our lives. It is not necessarily the loss of life but the loss of a constant in our own. Through this view suicide is terribly selfish because we weren't thought of, and in the grieving mind (which itself is selfish by nature) we feel betrayed. This is all perfectly normal and should be felt all the way through and should be talked about and should be shouted from the roof tops, but all things should be looked at from the perspectives of the others involved, not just our own. It is amazing how logical the world becomes, and sometimes how twisted in that logic, when you do this.
Anyone recall the 5 steps to grieving?
I can't remember them all, nor can I remember the order but I know it entails: shock, anger, sorrow, (something else) and healing. I think forgiveness needs to be part of this as well. I forgive my loved ones but I will never fully understand. I do know they are somewhere better, more suited to them and that they are still with me when I need them. No question about that.
Dark Mind, between this and the "What Gets You Out Of Bed In The Morning?" thread, I am concerned about you. Please PM me if you need it.
XtremRavR, how are you doing?
Hugs to all....
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
member
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posted:
I think it might be acceptance......ah I found my work sheet I hand out to the young people i speak to......Stages of Healing....
1. The decision to heal: Deep healing happens only when you shoose and are willing to change yourself.
2. The Emergency Stage: Beginning to deal with memories and supressed feelings can throw your life into utter turmoil. This is only a stage..it won't last forever
3.Remembering: Remembering is the process of getting back both memory and feeling.
4. Believing it happened: Coming to terms that it really happened, is a vital part of the healing process.
5.Breaking Silence: Talk to other people about how you are feeling.
6. Trusting yourself: The best guide for inner healing is your own inner voice.Learning to tryst your own perceptions, feelings and inntuitions forms a new basis for action in the world.
7. Grieving and mourning: Grieving is a way to honour your pain, let go, and move into the present.
8.Anger- the backbone of healing: Anger is a powerful and liberating force. Whether you need to getr in touch with it or have always had plenty to spare..directing it at the issue is always a key to healing.
9.Forgiveness
10.Spirituality: having sense of a power greater than yourself can be a real asset in the healing process..it doesn't matter if it's christianity, buddhism, nature, meditation..whatever it is a uniquely individual personal experience.
11.Resolution and moving on:As you move through these stages again and again, you will reach a point of integration. your feeling and perseptiveness will stabilize.
I guess that is just one of the many versions of stages of healing..
peace to you all
I think it might be acceptance......ah I found my work sheet I hand out to the young people i speak to......Stages of Healing....
1. The decision to heal: Deep healing happens only when you shoose and are willing to change yourself.
2. The Emergency Stage: Beginning to deal with memories and supressed feelings can throw your life into utter turmoil. This is only a stage..it won't last forever
3.Remembering: Remembering is the process of getting back both memory and feeling.
4. Believing it happened: Coming to terms that it really happened, is a vital part of the healing process.
5.Breaking Silence: Talk to other people about how you are feeling.
6. Trusting yourself: The best guide for inner healing is your own inner voice.Learning to tryst your own perceptions, feelings and inntuitions forms a new basis for action in the world.
7. Grieving and mourning: Grieving is a way to honour your pain, let go, and move into the present.
8.Anger- the backbone of healing: Anger is a powerful and liberating force. Whether you need to getr in touch with it or have always had plenty to spare..directing it at the issue is always a key to healing.
9.Forgiveness
10.Spirituality: having sense of a power greater than yourself can be a real asset in the healing process..it doesn't matter if it's christianity, buddhism, nature, meditation..whatever it is a uniquely individual personal experience.
11.Resolution and moving on:As you move through these stages again and again, you will reach a point of integration. your feeling and perseptiveness will stabilize.
I guess that is just one of the many versions of stages of healing..
peace to you all
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Acceptance, that was the one I couldn't remember!
Acceptance, that was the one I couldn't remember!
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Cazzar, I go through those stages every morning when my alarm clock goes off...
Cazzar, I go through those stages every morning when my alarm clock goes off...
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
member
15 posts
Location: the abyss
15 posts
Location: the abyss
Posted:
i try to remind myself that things like my family and friends don't want me are not true.
i figure as long as i remember that and i find places where taht is written down and don't convince myself i'm delusional, i'm ok.
thanks for ur concern pele.
i'll be ok for awhile again i hope tho.
i try to remind myself that things like my family and friends don't want me are not true.
i figure as long as i remember that and i find places where taht is written down and don't convince myself i'm delusional, i'm ok.
thanks for ur concern pele.
i'll be ok for awhile again i hope tho.
the night is darkest before the dawn
© 1998 - 2025 Home of Poi
All prices converted to United States dollars using XE.com