Forums > Introductions > Quix - Not A Cheap Imitation
Login/Join to Participate912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Well, some of you will remember me, some of you won't. But I guarantee the ones who remember me don't know me any more
I've been away a few months and I've come back a totally different person. Hence, new person, new intro. Here comes... (stolen off of Charles cause his was handy)Name: Simon (AKA Neuron, FaultyNeuron, GameCat, Angry Badger, Super Geek)
Age: 24
Location: Cheltenham, UK
Your favourite website/s: Home of Poi, Vector Sigma, Various Web Comics, Various Game Sites
Favourite Toys: Poi, Staff, Played a little with flags and contact juggling.
Been twirling for: I dunno. Don't keep track any more.
Occupation: Currently between jobs. >_<
Hobbies: Hanging out in local music/culture/coffe shop/net cafe place and talking to the most fantastic gathering of creative minds known to humanity, fixing friends' computers, socialising, clubbing, hanging out in camden, photography (mostly of events), art, books, movies
Music: I like what I like, genre is a word that can be used to describe style, not tastes.
Movies: Ack! Damnit! So many!
Books: See movies
Favourite Colour: Red, currently.
Favourite Quote/Saying: "Thong?" "Thank You, Captain Obvious" "Meh"
Favourite Food: Itallian
Best Advice Ever Received: If you want to piss off those who have angered you, live a happy life, die happy and die of old age.
Random Fact About Me: I am so loved up recently.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Written by: Quix
1 year today.
elaborate?
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Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
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912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Written by: Kit
hinot seen you around much on here. i think we've both been laying low.
met someone recently, reminded me of you. just saw you thread thought i'd say hey. its been a year now. how fast did it go? you say lots has changed since then and your happier now. I'm so glad to hear that.
Hope you like hugs now. I personally couldn't live without them. and i thank you for teaching me that not all are comfortable with that. i did a tiny bit of growing up that weekend.
There's definitely a bit of laying low involved, but I've also been just really busy and I can only sneak onto the net at work, having moved house and still not having any net connection at home. Hopefully something that will be resolbed tomorrow.
The year went incredibly fast, it's weird because I can remember this time last year with a horrible clarity. OK it's not all horrible but over the last couple of nights I've been reliving a few events of that weekend and they've come through with a total recall that perhaps I'd rather they hadn't. Still, yes, a LOT has changed. I've done a lot of growing up too in a lot of ways.
I'm still not totally ok with physical contact with people I don't trust but I've found the lack of trust has changed. Now it's just people I actively distrust not just 'people I don't know'.
It's good to hear from you again.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Written by: flash fire
elaborate?
I'm not sure how good an idea that is, especially given who's asking, but ok.
When I said "1 year today" I was marking the anniversary of the day I broke up with someone. The day I heard the person I was convinced I was in love with tell me she didn't love me and what was worse that she never had.
I say I was convinced I was in love because looking back over the comforting distance of a year I'm not sure I truly was in love. I say that now because I am in love with a girl who has been so good to me especially in light of the pain she knows I'm going through lately that I now have no doubt whatsoever how love truly feels.
No this person was a friend, the best and closest friend I've ever had in my life but I didn't love her, not in the romantic sense. I did love her, I loved her strongly in a more plutonic sense and I let myself get confused between the two having a lack of referance for what love was, any love.
It was 1 year since the events that triggered a land-slide of emotion and upheaval that ended something very special. I was happy to see my friend move on and find someone to love, in the romantic sense. I was actually happy and it gave me hope. But part of me wasn't happy.
Eventually I contemplated suicide. Very seriously. When I did I was scared and I turned to the only person I knew to help, her. When she reacted so very powerfully to my contemplation I told a little white lie. I told her it'd been a cry for help, a desperate act to talk to her. I was thinking that she might be angry with that but it'd hurt her less than the thought that I was going to take my life over her.
It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life to tell that 'little white lie'.
With 20/20 hindsight which is something that's always been as cruel as it is kind I see how it looked, how it came across as manipulation and cowardice and even perhaps a little vengeful. But I was still coping with the loss of love, the feelings of suicidalness and the strange confusion of still being happy for the object of these feelings.
I felt our friendship slip away and we haven't spoken for a long time and even when we did it wasn't exactly friendly or positive.
I lost something very special 1 year ago from that day, it may have taken time to lose but that was the day I truly lost it. I let my concern that I was losing it and my desperation not to lose it utterly for me, to destroy something that had been special to both of us.
So yes.
1 year.
That's elaborated, well, the short elaboration.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Wow - thanks for that Quix. I too remember that time with startling clarity.
You say you lost something very special a year ago, however I say you gained much more than you actually lost. People come and go all throughout life; it's something we have to get used to. And now, you're armed with the emotional knowledge and strength of mind to deal with any situations that may arise in the future in a much healthier way, and any whirlpool you may be sucked into will be shallower and easier to climb out of.
I've had so many people leave me (parents, friends etc) that I had a massive defensive wall that's taken much emotional and spiritual exploration to dissolve. One of the biggest steps was actually forgiving myself for hurting the people I cared for. That was really hard to do, cos I think I was holding on to the guilt and sorta using it as an excuse to not be content. Sometimes it's easier to be not-happy. Especially when you have a penchant for laziness. anyway, I'm rambling.
I hope you've healed and can avoid the trap of looking back, and fully enjoy cherishing the now with your current lover. I wish you two health and happiness together.
HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
The past is the past. We learn from it, put it aside and embrace a new and bright future.
Nice seeing you around Quix
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.
Gidg
64 posts
Location: Cheltenham, England
(Smiles at FlashFire) Thanks. Is apprecaited by us both, I think it's safe to say.
Everything you say makes perfect sense and I agree entirely. It's just about living in the now and looking to the future rather than dwelling in the past. And the future looks to be bursting with potential.
I can't be evil; I'm wearing pink.
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Yup Borath, you're right. Safe to say. Thank you so much, flash fire. It means a lot coming from you. And you're right about what I've gained as well as lost too. I guess it's just a problem with the way the universe was put together that sometimes it's easier to mourn loss than celebrate gain.
And thanks to you too, Gidg. Nice to be around
And I like the potential the future is bursting with.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon
al lis good...
well quix good to hear about the trust stuff thats a much more positive way to be yay:)
p.s. does that mean if we meet again i get a hug without a slap down??
random murbles
BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
It does indeed, if I'm ever up in the frozen north of this landmass I'll give ya a hug gladly
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
It's nice to see that all the love and energy people have poured into me over time is finally finding a way to spread to others, in an expressive and emphatic way
HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Isn't it just?
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
64 posts
Location: Cheltenham, England
Yeah it is. ^_^
I wanna hug people now! (Looks pathetic)
I can't be evil; I'm wearing pink.
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Awwwwwww lil-pathetic-thing
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Naugh hugging is not pathetic. I love hugging.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.
Gidg
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Of course it isn't and that's not what I was saying
She's just my lil-pathetic-thing... it's affectionate, like 'squiggly' and such.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.
Gidg
64 posts
Location: Cheltenham, England
Stop spreading my nicknames over this site!!
I can't be evil; I'm wearing pink.
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon
hehe woo for hugsh and shtuff!!!
random murbles
BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
You should know as well as anyone i'm being very restrained considering the number of nicknames there are to share, and the very interesting stories behind them.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.
2,293 posts
Location: NJ or DE, USA
Quixieeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **POUNCEGLOMP**
Wow, I haven't talked to you in ages!
**blinks and looks back and forth between Quix and Borath** Did I miss something over the past several months I've been HoPdeprived?
Anyhoo, just wanted to drop by and say Hi
( and give you a plate of cookies, of course )**hands Quix a plate of cookies**
Hope you have a loverly weekend!
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Pies Jesu Domine *whack*
Dona eis requiem *whack*
Come join us and chat - we're bored! irc.newnet.net #homeofpoi
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Lo ela! It has been a while hasn't it?
Well what you missed has been going on five months, well five months and a day now! Go us! I think you've probably gathered what it is though
Always nice to see you say hi and oh yes... *ahem*
COOKIES! *snarfs them*
I think I will, and I hope you have a weekend just as loverly.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
64 posts
Location: Cheltenham, England
You greedy thing! (Sulks. Makes own cookies. Eats the dough before they are cooked) ^_^
And indeed go us. Very long time now.
6 month anniversary on Valentine's day/ How disgustingly sweet is that?
I can't be evil; I'm wearing pink.
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
Yes, yes I'm updating. Well it's nearly the end of my birthday and probably will be by the time I've finished writing. I had a bit of a rough time last night, there was stuff on my mind including the fact that my last couple of birthdays have pretty much been days spent on my own being less than happy about the fact that my birthdays have been less than awe-inspiring. So I was naturally inclined not to expect a whole lot of birthday fun.
I was very wrong. KJ came over yesterday night so she was there from the beginning of the day. No, the very beginning. We were still up at the stroke of midnight. Yeah I admit it, I opened my presents immediately. I got two figures.
1. A very cool Hellboy, in evil hellboy mode, complete with the crown of flames (which you rarely see in figures). So that's a nice oddity and I love it cause Hellboy is a big favourite of mine.
2. A Ghost Rider figure. Now, people who know me know I'm not much of a Marvel fan. Like Daredevil sure but not a big Marvel fan as far as it goes. However, last time I was in Bristol with Steve and Josh going comic shopping we had a conversation about how they just don't make good Ghost Rider figures. This isn't the one we saw, or one that I've seen, it's good.
So those were very much appreciated.
I also got chocolates and a copy of Chasing Amy on DVD from her folks. Also very good gifts.
What really got me though was a portfolio of prints from Luis Royo. He's an artist who has done a lot of fetish type work (including work for Heavy Metal, for example). I've been a fan for a long time. I've been a fan of one specific piece in paticular. He did a picture of a girl, chained and crowned with heavy metal thorns. It had female beauty, an element of bondage, a not-quite-but-almost gynoid mix of metal and flesh and a slightly twisted mesianic taste to it that I liked.
Anyway I thought for a moment she had bought me a book of Royo's work but she told me it was no book and indeed it wasn't. Once I'd unwrapped it I realised it was a portfolio of prints. Good quality prints too. So good I framed them.
So now they're up on the wall, along with the painting she did for me for Christmas.
Pictures
More Pictures
And there they are!
And for the eagle-eyed amongst you, yes. On the right in the second picture you will spot that mesianic, crowned-in-metal-thorns bound girl that I found so delightful. Not only were they prints from one of my favourite artists but including a high quality print of one of my favourite pieces of art. Ever.
It was made especially delightful from the fact that I never told KJ this. She saw it and thought I would like it and she got it absolutely right.
Awwww.
In other news it's Valentines' Day tomorrow. That's not all though, in a sickeningly sweet and utterly unintended coincidence it's also my six month anniversary with KJ.
Who knew? Well ok we both had an idea... as did everyone around us who has to put up with us being disgustingly in love everywhere.
As a matter of fact that came up the other day. One of our friends in paticular has commented on how disgustingly lovely we can be together. He was convinced we were flaunting it in his face or something until I pointed out that we really weren't, that that's just how we are. It was actually the first time either KJ or I had thought about that and it turns out that yes we are just like that.
That was a lovely warm feeling.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon
happy birthday birthday buddy me ol' chum. have a great day tomo with your girl!
hope you do something nice!
random murbles
BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
wow... it's been a while.
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
912 posts
Location: Cheltenham
I knew I'd posted in 05! I totally forgot about this thread. Well here's my recap in it's edited for accuracy glory
Well if there's anyone left who remembers/cares then here's the update for the last... few... months.
It's been good, I'm rapidly approaching my 26th birthday and my 18 month semi-anniversary with my beloved which rather nicely occur within two days of each other next month.
I've also, after a couple of years still bouncing around between unsatisfying and maddening IT jobs re-evaluated my life and I go back to college in september to embark on my new career choice of professional photography. Momentus decision. Terrifying yet liberating.
I'm still firmly entrenched in the Cheltenham area and despite knowing a rather wonderful crowd of fire spinners the one thing we tend not to do as a group is spin. I really need to change that at some point this year. Still I've energised a couple of them by telling them I need photographic subjects.
It's funny how I always think about HoP around this time of year, for all sorts of reasons but mostly thanks to the parties at a certain member's house in Sevenoaks all that time ago which I still remember pretty vividly (and fondly I have to say).
So many shoes.
So who's still around?
"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds
"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend
master of disaster
3,354 posts
Location: New York, USA
hey quix
kyrian: I've felt your finger connect with me many times
lou kitten: sneaky little meatball..
ezz: please corrupt me more
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