Forums > Social Discussion > Anxiety and Depression: Does it truly ever go away

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
It takes alot of work and change man, you have to want to change and be happier. You have to forgive and be forgiven and fix everything and be truthfull. Talk about stuff, like real things to build trust.

Everyone has hard times, but you just have to dig it in when it gets hard cause it always gets alot better. No relationship is perfect neither are people. People pretend it is, but they dont last long, you have to front you demons to get through and it will get better. You have to love yourself and share your love, and work real hard at keeping it together. I swear man, it allways looks better in the morning.

Try making something, doing something new and growing...if not you get stuck in a rut and it goes down hill. Hell you can be depressed and still have a good time.

Anxiety is hardcore, i think if you learn meditation you can contorl it, maybe Tai chi or anything that calms you, and you have to learn to chill/ relax. Its a tough 1. There is always hope though dude...just do whatever you have to, to get better...even if it is pretending. I know itll all workout in the end, you just have to try and want to get better.

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
Yes it does! Even if your circumstances don't change, your outlook on life can make the world seem a wonderful place.

How are you dealing with your depression right now? Recreational drugs / drink only make the problems worse. Eat a healthy diet , drink lots of water and exercize. Think it would be a good idea for you to talk with a counsellor / life coach.

If you'd like to talk, you are very welcome to PM me.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

Posted: 29th Apr 2004


i totally know what you're going through

i to have had both, i had depression when i was in my early teens, which lead onto anxiety which i found much harder to deal with and it has taken a long time to get it under control..simply because its so fightening that i had a few set backs ..and still do occasionally if things get alittle stressful.

for me your two questions merge ... yes it does get better, but has never completely left but i have learned to live with it and not affect my life so much ... ive said in previous posts that im glad its happend to me because it has changed who i am..for the better it has taught me to appreciate the smaller, simpler things in life; the sun on your face the wind in your hair swimming in cool clear water ...cheesy i know but its amazing how those things can make you feel

you have to train your brain again to put things in perspective and not be so irrational in its thinking, because i have found thats the worst thing you mind plays tricks on itself..you just have to stop when you see yourself following a train of though and try look at the positive things however small.

i have controlled mine with medications, but also do alternative things to; ie, some people go to the gym which i have done in the past but its so boring for me, i go for a swim or walk when i going somewhere, climb the stairs instead of taking the lift (elevator) and dancing!! my god if you go out dance like a mad man, dont give a crap about what other people thing just go for it (thats my fav)oh and yoga
Eat properly and regularly you body wont work properly if you dont feed it the nutrients it needs. cut back on caffine and alcohol, but make sure you get enought fluids in the day take a bottle of water or juice out with you. and one last thing..which may sound completely stupid but i find it works .. walk with you head up (not looking at the ground) and smile at people. the more you do it the better it makes you feel, i dunno why but it makes me smile even more.
oh and dont let yourself wallow you will only sink faster..talk to someone or write it down

take care hun

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
Yes, it does go away. Maybe not permanently. But you may find for times in your life it will be completely absent.

I have found that as I have grown more aware of myself, my bouts have become less frequent. I am stronger and happier in myself.

But it takes time finding out about yourself. Both on a physical basis (diet, exercise, etc etc) & on an emotional basis.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
*takes off white coat*

Yeah...it goes away. Then, when a serious stressor returns to your life (i.e. the third year of medical school) it comes back. Sometimes it doesn't even require the stressor to come back. Soemtimes it comes back on its own.

It's an unpredictable beast. But I am being the stubborn a$$ that I usually am and I'm refusing meds for it. I only have 8 weeks left in this year and by the time the meds even started working, the stressor will have resolved.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
I have personally found that depression does go away. I suffered last year through finishing grade 12 in which i did alot of things that i am not very proud of, but as Narr said it does change your outlook on life and i would not change it.

The first big step is asking for help and i think putting a post asking for help is a big step. I think talking about the problem is the biggest way to help yourself get better.

I had a friend who was going the through depression at the same time and we helped each other a great deal. You have a girlfriend who knows what your going through so you can help her and she can help you.

this is only my two cents you need to find out works best for you.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
-- Steven Wright

Posted: 29th Apr 2004
lots of helpful advice above so i wont write an essay....

from personal experience - avoid alcohol when youre depressed - it makes things much worse, instead do something intensly physical - i prefer swimming & running cos i can zone out.

love, peace, & hugs to all.

"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

Posted: 30th Apr 2004
i've been stuck in a loop of depression recently and the thing thats getting to me is the feeling that it's not going to get any better(my life...)like,this is it......and it stretches out in front of me endlessly.I've tried to make changes but had the door slammed in my face so i've sort of given in to quiet despair...and pretending....
So thats how i feel and its lovely to tune in to hop and find some lovely people who've been there and who are offering sane simple advice....

Posted: 30th Apr 2004
Thank you all so much for your support. I'm trying so hard to get out of this deep blue funk I'm in but keeps happening that brings me down. Today I learned that I'm going to lose my appartment.



As for dealing with this I'm on a couple meds and I meditate, but that only helps when I'm meditating (If I can get into an alpha state) and goes right back to the way I was before I started meditating. And I stopped smoking pot a while ago. And I rarly ever drink. It just seems like the world is out to get me. After 5 weeks of solid job hunting I haven't even gotten an interview.



Thank you all for your support, and your words and hugs mean the world to me.

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.

Posted: 30th Apr 2004
I was always a moody teen but my only serious bout of depression lasted 2 years (in which time i isolated myself from everyone, developed drug dependencies, eating disorders, cut myself... the whole shamoozal). Then one day i stopped. I counld't get the drugs i was using for a while, started going to the gym, walks down the park etc.
I wish i could pin-point the turning point. I know so many people who are going through the same thing. I can ctill feel what it is like to be there but i don't know how to help them, i don't know how i got over it myself.
So there is the background . As to whether i think it goes away or not... no, probably not. I have months where i will be 'happy'. I have the best friends in the world, a nice place to live, i laugh alot. People call me to cheer them up .
And then i have weeks like this one. Where i think; i am happy according to their standards. But i am not actually going anywhere. I am getting closer to a higher paying job. Closer to a good relationship. But not closer to finding out who i am or why the world is like it is. Why my best friend is dying of cancer, why we feel the need for a social pecking order, why we arn't satisfied with our own company and the (numerous) luxuries we have.
Sometimes i have weeks like this. Where i just want to leave everyone and meditate somewhere untill i am old and grey. And then i have weeks (months) where i am actually depressed and numb and i don't care about anything.
So no. I don't think the depression will ever go away. But i actually am happy with it. It makes me ask the big questions. It helps me know myself. I think it sets me apart from the shallow, brand wearing, made-up, bleached, plucked and tucked norm (not that i am judgmental ) It lets me step back from the world.
I guess i have learnt to llive with it and use it. When i am depressed i don't like the normal happy me. It seems fake.
Anyway, as you can see, i am having a contimplative period. Think i will read castaneda and my old buddhist texts and learn somethin new.
A big to all who are feeling down. It is generally because you are sensitive, so it can never truely pass. To get over it comletely you would have to shut yourself off from your sensitive side, and you don't want to do that. It is what makes you beautiful. Twill pass, and you will be stronger and wiser when it does.

There is a world made of air, one of earth and one of water.
And there is one made of fire, and all of them fight for supremacy. They are fighting now, in my head.

Posted: 30th Apr 2004
Kaji



Yes I'm sure it will go away. Ultimately it's just chemicals in your brain making you feel things, you have ways to stimulate yourself to let the good chemicals out you just have to find them.



I always thought depression was just a stupid thing that didn't really exist and people were making a fuss over nothing, till one day it hit me after some bad times My confidence left me, as did a lot of other feelings I thought were 'normal', thus I didn't feel normal to myself.

It passed over time, I found the root of my pain and I did my utmost to overcome what was basically fear and finding new acceptance of situations. Not the type fear but the deep stuff...you know.



I wish you and your lady all the best Kaji, it's good you have someone to help and you can return the favour too. I hope reading that you have friends like us sharing our love tto you help put a litle wee smile of your face

Let's relight this forum

Posted: 6th May 2004
Hugs to everyone, you are not alone! I'm there at the mo, have been for as long as I can remember, some days good some days not
Dunno what else to say.... except take care of yourselves,
poi is good, as are hugs!

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

Posted: 21st Jul 2004

im am in a hurry so didnt get a chance to read other posts, but here is my initial reaction to your subject title!

yes yes yes, it does go away!

i was a nervous, depressed mess 6 months ago. but i simply broke things down, and day by day, took the neagtive things and changed them. if u feel like staying in bed because its easier, dont.

even if u get up and do something u feel ur not remotely enthused by (at the time) do it anyway, rather than moping. it wil slowly have its affect on u.

i gave up work, moved home, gave up smoke, got involved in interesting things. took up poi! wrote for a newspaper. volunteered for festivals etc...

try and stay motivated, as i sed it may not make u feel better at that moment, but rome wasnt built in a day....and that hope can keep u going.

best advise i can give: experience some change. even if it is doing something u wud never ever do. for example, if u have never had a interest in cooking, bake buns! newness, im sure of it, sparx something in ur brain

i wil b bak to read yer posts soon.....

positive positive

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
I'd say it depends on the severity of both. . . in the worse cases which many of us here have had. . . no it doesn't go away permenantly. You can learn to ignore it very well though. . . you can even be really quite happy if you just ignore all the pain and doubt and the like.

It's a mixture of both when it comes down to it, is it there all the time. . . .yes, but you can generally ignore it well enough to keep going and doing what needs to be done. Even enjoying yourself.

Just takes time. A lot of time. Oh and a few good things happening in a go is a nice kick start (oh if we were all so lucky. . .).

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
Ignoring the pain can be quite easy while you're busy, chilling with people and working. But when you're alone, or have time where you're not doing anything, and your mind wanders, the problems resurface. But life will get better.


And whoever said "It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" is off his tree.


(In a funk)

kyrian: I've felt your finger connect with me many times
lou kitten: sneaky little meatball..
ezz: please corrupt me more

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
that was a really beautiful post Looper, ive just had a really bad few days, and yesterday was particurally bad, ive been depressed but never for a really long time and ive never experianced bad anxiety, so i think im lucky, good luck to eveyone who is deppressed, and dont always focuse on trying to be totally happy as thats not a good idea either, but just try to find balance and se both sides of and issue>>>>>much luv(and happiness )

if you think that our kiss was all in the lips, come on you got it all wrong man, and if you think that our dance was all in the hips then, oh well, do the twist -The White Stripes

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
In 1998 I had a lot of things go wrong in my life (and I mean ALOT) and since then I have been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)...at the beginning it was really hard to cope with all the nightmares and the flashbacks and I also did the whole pushing everyone that was close to me away.

It got so bad that my father and I used to have screaming matches at each other every night, simply because he could not comprehend what I was going through. Unfortunately the arguing with him, as much as he thought it was helping me get inspired to get help, only made me worse.

In the end it came down to the fact that I had to get away because where I was living was only making me remember how things used to be before all the shite happened.

I made the decision to move to Perth by myself from Sydney. I had other indirect family here in Perth so I knew if I fell flat on my arse then I would have some support if I needed it.

Turns out it was the best decision of my life...though there are still times in the year (especially around the anniversaries of the events that made me the way I am) that I have bad nightmares come back, I am no longer taking anti depressants all year round...instead I only take them during that one bad month.

I still have flashbacks which I have learnt to control (as much as you can control memories).

I have bad days but I always find talking about it with someone who understands my situation helps to ease some of the bad feelings.

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
kaji

i think everything has already been said, so i'll try not to go on forever!

like a lot of people who have replied - i've been there too. it's always there, lurking in the back of your mind, but you have to make choices to help yourself. talk to a counsellor, a doctor, a friend, anyone.

try to see the positive in any situation - even if it's the worst moment of your life. i'm serious! my boyfriend broke my heart & dumped me earlier this year, and while i was upset for ages, i chose to see it as a positive change in my life. and now i can talk about him - even to him - and laugh and be happy. i am even flirting outrageously and may be starting something with a new guy. (you have no idea how much fun flirting can be after being with one person for so long!! i thought i'd lost my knack...apparently not!! )

you have to take control of your life, and your feelings.

life will improve - if you let it.

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!



if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!



smile! :grin: it confuses people!

Posted: 21st Jul 2004
i know exactly what ur going through and believe it or not getting away from any TV or computer or other electronic screens for awhile will make u feel alot better also what u eat and how much exorcise and variety u have in ur life will do alot for it thats all the advise i can give short of getting happy pills

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potato's.

Posted: 22nd Jul 2004
Post deleted by roarfire

.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

Posted: 22nd Jul 2004
Kaji, the biggest thing i can say to you is to get therapy. Pills are not good at helping with situation stressors (like jobs).

You need to learn how to train your brain to react in a way helpful to you...

A positive attitude helps

Take care,

Meep

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

Posted: 22nd Jul 2004
I put my thoughts on depression on this thread: -



[Old link]



I'll just leave the link as I can't really add to what I said back then- it's the first post and there's sone interesting replies to it.

"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

Posted: 26th Jul 2004
I used to be seriously depressed. Hardly a day went by that I did not think of killing myself, usually by means of something sharp and pointy. Just imagine putting a finger to the side of your neck, and feeling the pulse there, strong and full of life. Feeling thelife flowing under your fingertips and willing it to just stop. Imagine looking at your own face in the mirror and wishing you would just die, that death would be a mercy to you. And your own family doing NOTHING to help. Not even the ones you thought you could trust. My own father had seen me on multiple occasions holding a sharp kitchen knife to my own throat. He just told me to put it away, like I was just being a melodramatic drama queen.
Sending me to some mental ward would have been no good to me at all. I would not have tolerated the loss of what little freedom I had, and the humiliation factor- feeling like a prisoner would NOT have made me want to open up to anyone, it would only have made me even more messed up then I was when I went in. But I could have used somebody to talk to. I really could have. Somebody who would not judge me or crawl down my throat.
I wondered if I was clinically or seasonally depressed. But I was not interested in taking pills. I don't like the idea of being dependant on drugs in order to function, and I've heard too many horror stories- people who turn into zombies on the medication, or what happens when they try to go off.

Why do I think I ended up this way? In hindsight, I don't think it was physiological. My mother is better now, but even recently she had real problems with running her mouth- she has said things to me over the course of my life that would have gotten her fired had she said the same things to co-workers. Some of these things have bordered on or crossed the line into emotional abuse. And to top it all off, I was (and am) still at home- moving out is not an option right now (my job does not pay enough), and at the time, I was unemployed. To make that even worse, I had lost a few jobs for stupid reasons- being blamed for either things I did not do or that were well and truly beyond my control, and the last job, I had been fired from in a truly nasty way- imagine your boss calling you at 9 pm on a friday night to tell you you were fired- not even having the balls to say it to your face.

And as if that were not sucky enough, just imagine the gods-awful feeling of not having a clue of what you want to do with your life. At 23 years old, I felt like I was ready to, and indeed, deserved to die. I felt like at my age, I was supposed to have everything figured out and wrapped up in a neat little package- I was supposed to have my own home, and a whole life plan mapped out, everything all nice and under control. But I had none of that. Nada. Zip. I did not have a clue what I wanted to do with my life- I knew that I was unsuited for many jobs because I was sick and tired of being a peon- I did not want to spend my life as somebody's bootlick. If there's one thing that can be said about me, I simply cannot just sit and take abuse when it's heaped on me. I've been bullied at home, school, and work, and my bullshit limits have been reached. So what did that leave me with? The artistic pursuits I love so much simply won't bring me the level of affluence and comfort that I want eventually. How was I to live without selling out or compromising myself?

In the end, I was brought out of that mess in a most unlikely manner. Needing some money, I got hired on by the same security company that my dad works for, and was given my first site- a condo under construction. It was actually pretty cool- Walking through this place, I saw things that I had previously only read about in all the books I own about skyscrapers and construction. And across the road was another such building, complete with its own huuuge Tower crane. For something to do, I began watching that crane..and the rest is history.

Since then, I have felt NOTHING close to the level of self hatred and depression that used to haunt me. Every now and then, I feel kinda sucky, but it only lasts a few hours at most. While I was taking my Crane training, I felt kinda sucky a few times when I was having trouble with something, but it quickly departed. Getting my hands on a crane helped:) Feeling one of those huge machines respond to my touch, and gentle manipulation of the swing levers seemed to help me more than all the pills ever made could. I'm kinda nervous now, awaiting the start of my apprenticeship, but at the same time, I feel confident that in the end, I will be able to make it happen. Having a job that gets me out of the house for a while most days helps, and my training has given me the hope for the future that I so desperately needed. Finally, I feel like things may eventually work out for me, home and job-wise.

It's said that Kwan Yin, the chinese goddess of compassion can take any form needed to lead a being out of suffering. Perhaps in my case, she borrowed a huge red Tower Crane.

Kaji, I stronly suggest you find somebody to talk to- somebody who will take the time to listen to you and evaluate your situation before pushing pills. In some cases, a depressed person really does need the medicine. For other people, it's a few changes to their life that is in order. For other people, it's a combination of both. Blessings to both you and your girlfriend, and I hope that things improve for you, I really do.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Tower Cranes, for you are soft and would look better when squashed by a full concrete bucket"

Posted: 1st Aug 2004
.

in state of metamorphosis

Posted: 1st Aug 2004
I am bipolar & from what you very briefly described, it is completly possible that you & your GF have a bipolar disorder or some other type of chemical imbalance. Any emotional issues where you swing back and forth on a somewhat regular basis, sometimes you can even time them..from 2 week to 3 month cycles sometimes, is a bipolar sign. I suggest that you go to see a psychiatrist or psychologist that's trained to diagnose(which ever one it is that can prescribe meds..I can't remember which one it is) & have them test you for a chemical imbalance. This usually requires answering alot of questions & sometimes a blood test. DON'T go to a regular physician, they are not trained & can often times missdiagnose or prescribe the wrong medications which can make it worse. If these feelings have been an ongoing issue you really should have it checked out. It may be that you litterally can't work through this on your own because your system is all out of whack & all the changes in the world might not make it go away or get better without help. So please seek some help, I speak from living my entire life with these problems. It's better to get checked & told that you don't need meds, than to continue trying to make things better on your own & not improving when all you needed was medication. If you have any further questions or want to know of some good resources for info, email me crmanier@comcast.net

Never settle for normal.
Average thinking brings average results.

Posted: 3rd Aug 2004
no. (disclaimer: i'm incredibly depressed right now)

as a therapist, i'd say sometimes, for some people. but there are definately some that struggle with it their entire lives. i think i am one of those people

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**

Posted: 3rd Aug 2004

Written by: pounce

---

but there are definately some that struggle with it their entire lives. i think i am one of those people

---

As a "to be" therapist, I'd like to think that those people just haven't found the right combination of medications and/or therapies..

Unfortunately, most health care systems don't care enough about things like anxiety and depression, because they can take so LONG to find the right combination (it's not cost effective).

It's a vicious circle, because you don't WANT to be on this trial and error merry go round, but if more things were available to *Start* with, it would be easier.

Lynne

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

Posted: 3rd Aug 2004
that could be true. but even those that do find the "right" combination, it doesn't always hold. people's bodies get used to the medication and they stop working after awhile. the struggle is always there, even when they are feeling slightly better. it's because to feel better, it takes a lot of constant work. hence why i say they struggle their entire lives.

but some advice for a to-be therapist from someone who already is, there will be things you cannot fix in your profession, no matter how hard you try. don't set yourself up for disappointment for every client you cannot save. you'll burn out really quickly.

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**

Posted: 3rd Aug 2004
I know, i know *smiles*

I'm not after saving people. I know you can't.

And i know it takes constant work. It's so much easier to just "let it go", and then you're right back there again...

i likes your scissors quote

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

Posted: 4th Aug 2004
thanks

ya, that's why i say it doesn't ever truly go away for some. even through the therapy and meds, there are some that still suffer, just less so. it doesn't stop me from trying to work with them, but i keep a healthy skepticism about my work.

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**