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pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
ok i really couldn't think of a title for this post so i apologize for it being crap.

in talking to some friends recently, we were discussing the changes we've gone through and all that, and as i was thinking about it, a lot of people have commented that i've changed a lot, and most of my old friends barely know me anymore. and i realized i think i come across as really playful, perhaps even immature on here sometimes (i dunno honestly, but i'm trying to gauge it based on responses to me). a few years ago i loved to sit and talk about psychology or philosophy or existentialism or whatever. point was, i loved getting into intellectual conversations and having those great debates where you get all passionate and learn a lot from the other side. but now - and don't get me wrong, i still love all that but - i have so much seriousness in my life with all my clients that i find i don't have the energy any more. every day is a downer for me, and every day i go into work i pray that i'm gonna have that one session where i'll make a visible difference and the client walks away happy. but most days that doesn't happen. ya, i help people, but this field is a slow field, there's no quick fix, and sometimes it takes years before you see any positive changes, and sometimes you never see them. i guess that's why my field has the highest suicide rates (the professionals, not the clients). and i guess i deal by doing whatever i can to make me laugh and keep me light-hearted. there are so many great topics on here that i read through and want to respond, but most of the time i don't have the emotional energy to do so, and sometimes not even to read it all. and i miss that in some ways.

so i dunno, i guess this is my little rant, a little bit of an explanation as to why i act like a silly little kid sometimes and giggle so much even tho i'm 25. and i guess my question to all of you is how do you keep a balance? do any of you find yourself in similar positions? what would you do?

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
Oh, I really don't think I can tell you that here.... sorry.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


spritieSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA


Posted:
When I've had a funky day, I usually make it a point to get a few hugs from my friends. That does wonders to improve my mood and attitude about a lot of things.

I'm also one of those people that never bring work home anymore. Do you think you could separate work from your thoughts at night? I've found I'm much happier if I can leave the nasty thoughts at the office door somehow.

hug hug

SpitFireGOLD Member
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
2,723 posts
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada


Posted:
I think it's more than ok to be playful and whatnot, Pounce. I'm 31, but who cares? There are times when I wonder if I should act my age, but why? You only live once, so enjoy it. When you have to deal with such heavy matter as you do, then you deserve to let your hair down and relax.

As for what I do? Heh.....Well, talk to vanize and spritie...I have "loner" tendancies, and crawl into a hole for a while, and focus on me. Sometimes it works, sometimes....sometimes it doesn't. I think one of my weaknesses is seaking out my friends when I have a bad day. There are some reasons for that....I won't get into those here, but part of it...I don't know, I'm kind of bad about opening up.

It has to do with the shy thing to a degree.

EEP. Ok...I'll stop that line of thought right there....I'm in my own ick right now, and I think it has more to do with my job than anything.

For me, though, when I have a bad day....I focus on me, I do something just for me....be it go and hang out with friends, spin, or act a fool...or even just putz around in some computer game to vent frustrations....I do what I want to do.

confused

Hugs help. Hugs help a lot. Having friends who uinderstand and get your mind off of what's bugging you helps too. Knowing when to go to them....that's the trick.

Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.


soldaribusy-tofu!
133 posts
Location: montreal: bagel capital


Posted:
Hugs to you:
I've felt the same several times. Not the part about having a job with the highest suicide rate though, but the part about not having a meaningful job.
I used to sell computers
Non-Https Image Link
. I had some good clients who made me feel useful, and others who made me feel rotten. In the computer business, if you don't sell the exact product the customer wants, someone else will. So if someone asks you for a peice of poo computer, you sell it to them, knowing that they will hate you for selling them a peice of poo. But is it really your fault if they didn't want to know anything about the machine that was a hundred bucks more? Maybe.

In your case maybe you should ask your clients how their sessions are changing the way they live. Or about the positive things they get out of your help. Finding meaningful value in your every day job is a hard thing to do.

Non-Https Image Link
Otherwise, one of the things you can do is to try to identify the elements you need present in order to feel more forfilled and either try to encorperate them to the way you carry out your sessions or find an other job that will allow you to have most of the things that will make you feel satisfied with your day's work.

Non-Https Image Link
I know this is sure to be a bit frustrating; it sounds like a huge sacrifice to change jobs or reorganize the way you work, but at the same time you're bettering your everyday life style. I don't sell computers anymore, in fact, at age 25 I am rerstarting my who life to become an architect. That's at least 5 years of full time school, so I know I'll be at least 30 by the time I'm done.
In the end though, it's a small price to pay for a job you'll love.
Non-Https Image Link

there is no better way to say I love you than with the gift of a spatula!


mechBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom


Posted:
ok, pounce i aint known you for long, so please feel free to ignore me if you think im full of crap.......

but to seperate out my hard days from me, from who i am, sit down and meditate, i seem to all a very open happy bouncy person, in truth, inside im shy, scared, have abadonment issues (i hate being left on my own when i am with friends, or even in a shop if i end up on my own i get unnerved really quickly), so follow buddism for my souland meditate to seperate out my life from my work day!

as i told you i have a couple of low degrees in pscology and human natures, and i know the field can be slow, hell its like ruunig in tar up to your neck, all you can do is say that at the end of the day you are helping ppl and that if you dont like doing it anymore, life is to short to get up every day and go to a job you dont like, get out, take a break, and move into a diff job!

go to a spa, watch a sunrise, remind ur self why you do it when you have a bad day, and if you need me u have me on AOL and MSN, just mail me!

later days honey

Step (el-nombrie)


pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
oh don't get me wrong, i love my job. there are days i question if i really want to be here, but i know that's more of a product of not working with the clientele i want to. once i get out of my training, i'm going to be able to specialize a whole lot more than i am now.

i think the point about going to friends and talking with them is a good one, and maybe that's why i'm ten times more silly now than i was a year ago, because i don't have friends out here to vent to or to even get a hug from...........wow. i just realized i haven't gotten a hug from a friend since my birthday in september. loneliness bites. i can't wait to go home. 13 more days.....

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


spritieSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,014 posts
Location: Galveston, TX, USA


Posted:
Yes, lonliness does bite. I'm at least an hour away from any of my friends, so I can somewhat symphathsize with you there.

They are the reason I make that hour drive each way at least once every two weeks though...Living in a place where you don't really know people is certainly not fun (or good for your health in my opinion).

Will you be done with CO in 13 days, or do you just get to go home for the holidays?

pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
just home for the holidays. frown 2 weeks, then back to CO. i've got family friends in the area but it's not the same as my friends, tho it's better than nothing. but i am starting to make some friends out here (much thanks to dio for that one!) so i'm happy about that

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
i think its ok to act silly. its a good way to vent and create balance, especially when u work in a serious job or need to manitain a straight outlook in ur every day life. as a student i find after my exams i go really really nutty - just to vent, and i think it does me good.

hopefully the holidays will give you a bit of a break and you can return a bit more refreshed hug

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


telicI don't want a title.
940 posts

Posted:
I hear ya. My field has ridiculously high suicide rates, alcoholism rates, depression rates, etc., as well. And it's sad, because people hurt themselves precisely because they love what they do and throw themselves into it in their entirety.

I tend to gain energy by being alone and focusing on projects. I work in an intellectual field, and I balance by working with my hands. I like to feel like a Tolkien dwarf, sitting alone in the dark creating beautiful things.

I also balance by spending time (albeit rarely) with people I love. Then, the intellectual conversations and games come into play. I'm silly, but often in an intellectual way. And often in a bad pun sort of way. I need times when I can be all about the nonsense. That feels right for me.

Also, I'm lucky enough to have some friends who enjoy me in my foul moods, and let me burn them off in their company.

Hope that helps, darlin'.

E pluribus unum, baby.


ElannaSILVER Member
Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.
2,293 posts
Location: NJ or DE, USA


Posted:
Personally, what I used to do is to snuggle up in my favorite chair/bed/couch, put on my favorite music and read a good book, preferably a funny/happy one. Really helps me relax. But nowadays, I'll just sign online and go into the HoP chatroom. It's almost as if the second you walk in, everything starts getting better! But then again....I'm just plain weird... biggrin

hug much respect to you, pounce. It takes a very special person to do your line of work.

(P.S. - Spinning helps too! Makes everything go away, just like magic! biggrin)

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Pies Jesu Domine *whack*
Dona eis requiem *whack*

Come join us and chat - we're bored! irc.newnet.net #homeofpoi


GnorBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia


Posted:
Quote:

but to seperate out my hard days from me, from who i am, sit down and meditate, i seem to all a very open happy bouncy person, in truth, inside im shy, scared, have abadonment issues (i hate being left on my own when i am with friends, or even in a shop if i end up on my own i get unnerved really quickly), !





Mech you have written how I so often feel. HoP has become a comfort zone in my life where I can relax and enjoy new friends. I so much enjoy getting online late at night and chatting to Davin and Mech and Narr and Elanna and all the other fabulous people too many to remember at once. So much so that when I had a really bad day it was here I vented.

Pounce you bring so much joy and laughter into my life and if you are getting benefit as well thats an added bonus for me. Your chosen profession is an emotionally strenous road to walk and you are finding ways to help you stay sane and if we can help you I am honoured.
To quote Cassandra
Shine on
hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu


woodnymphmember
313 posts
Location: london,uk


Posted:
without a doubt,my kids keep me sane(and drive me crazy...)mainly they centre me and help me get my priorities in order.Lately i've been meditating too,and sometimes i spin poi.
I get counselling over here and you guys do a great job,i think i need to let my counsellor know that....

Narr(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step


Posted:
pounce young lady dont be so hard on yourself!! i love the fact that you're silly, i just have to go to your intro thread and i laugh my ass off!! you are one of the coolest people i have ever been lucky enough to know (be it only for a wee amount of time so far wink )

.. the work you do is gonna be amazingly rewarding in the end ..and you know this, the councellors ive seen im my time have helped me in more ways that i could ever think of..and i wish i could see them again to thank them ..especially one who's advice i still stick to today, and i pass that info along to other friends if they need it.

but i know how loneliness can numb the soul ... i have a 9hr flight and then a few hours drive to go with it from all my best mates!! and if im lucky i'll get at least one email from one of them a week (they're all in 3rd year degrees so lots & lots of work!!)and having no close friends here is quite torturous, so your not alone sweetpea hug

.. just try to keep in persective the good/postive things in your life (thats some advice from the councellor mentioned above!!ubblol) out of every negative is something positive, it may be small and hard to see at first but once you see it it'll oblitorate the negative biggrin (another example wink )

take care missie and you know where i am hug kiss

ps - aww gnor your such a sweetie hug

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*


EeraBRONZE Member
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia


Posted:
We tend to be expected to leave all sillyness behind when we hit puberty and become "adult". What's that all about?

Every now and again every one of us should climb trees and do cartwheels in the street for the shear hell of it.

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.


mechBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom


Posted:
Quote:

without a doubt,my kids keep me sane(and drive me crazy...)mainly they centre me and help me get my priorities in order.




POUNCE thats it you should have kids! a way to keep ur life sain, and all the fun you could have trying to get them! biggrin

Gnor thankyou, that means a lot to me! kiss

as for you narr good advice, sound mind...not just a pretty face! kiss

ela, noce to see you are ok honey, and that we can help!

now to you all i say spank get back to doing some work and stop posting!!!

Step (el-nombrie)


Narr(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step


Posted:
Quote:

sound mind...not just a pretty face!





finally !!! someone noticed!! biggrin

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*


pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
wow. much thanks and hug hug hug hug to everyone! you all are such awesome people, and i know i get teased about spending so much time on here, but this is my de-stressor and i have met the most awesomest people on here that i couldn't imagine my life without you guys! i'm glad you all don't see me as some weirdo immature little girl (ok, maybe the wierdo part is right wink) cause i'm really not that way. and i'm glad i make you all laugh (in a good way ubblol) cause most of the time that's why i act the way i do. i love to make people laugh, including myself (i really do giggle as much as it seems on here!) much love to all of you! and while i don't want kids right now, i like the way you think mech wink



now off to find some cute person to flirt with......



ubblol

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


originalsmitSILVER Member
addict
469 posts
Location: nottingham, england. cornwall wales denmark or pra...


Posted:
well i suppose flirting could be said to be the first logical step in having a baby

my original signature was tooo long.
this one is shorter


pounceSILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA


Posted:
lol ya i suppose that's true, but i SO don't need a baby right now ubblol

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


originalsmitSILVER Member
addict
469 posts
Location: nottingham, england. cornwall wales denmark or pra...


Posted:
lol no me neither
not in a good position to bring up brats
no
no
nononononononononono
NO.
smoke to much bud for a start
im off home now so ill catch u all later.
smit

my original signature was tooo long.
this one is shorter



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