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Forums > Introductions > The United Chains of Fire (Jon)

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UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
Name: Jon, JonCof, Master UCOF, UCOF, JonnyUCOF, Oiyou, or something along those lines.



Location: Right here. Apparently right now too. (London) Boat with simian.



Hometown: Harrow (North West London) but now live in Southall (West London)



DOB: 30/ 6/ 1985



Age:20 and a half.



Sex:Male



Occupation(s): Woprks fo r hte Discovery Channel and Animal Planet as a video tape librarian. Basically, if it wasnt for us, neither of these channels (or the 30 or so sub channels) would be on air biggrin



Favorite Food(s): Fish fingers, instant mashed potato and baked beans. Lasagne. Pizza.



Favorite Color(s): UV Green and Black together.



Toys: Poi, Stick, Sticks, Contact Stick, Contact Sticks, Balls, Clubs, Rings, Hoops, CJ and other things I cant think of right now.



Hobbies other than the obvious: Getting stoned, meeting people, eating out, eating people, eating people out, travelling to work.



Education: GCSEs and A Levels (in Physics, German, General studies and IT) biggrin



Favorite Book(s): Yellow Pages



Favorite Movie(s): Forrest Hump, Pulp Friction, Romancing the Bone, Snow White and the Seven Sailors, Saving Ryan's Privates, Buffy the Vampire Layer, Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildoes, Rambone, Monty's Python and the Holey Girl, E-Three: The Extra Testicle.



Favorite TV show(s):The IT Crowd and other things that make me laugh.



Plans for life in general: (i.e. what you want to do when you grow up) A giraffe (and/ or) on crack.



Favorite Music Artists/Composers: 2 many DJs, UK Hip Hop, stuff I can dance to



Favorie ice cream flavor(s): Straight wink



Marmite, Vegemite, or Nutella? Nutella.



hello...seems eveyone is getting their own intro thread nowerdays and we thought that if we didnt jump on the bandwaggon, we would miss the boat.



The United Chains of Fire are mainly Jonathan and Chris (plus others)..but tis mainly jonathan who posts on here...

Ive met most of the UK crew and if there are any of you out there who i havent...we will meet you asap.



Our Website



much hugs, love and other random thingys <img src=" title="" src="graemlins/hug.gif" />



------added after cass' reply---

(changing into The United Chains of Fire is currently Jonathan speaking as in Chris is from this moment onwards Frosty Poi)



ok then...my main toy is poi(hey thats rhymes...cool) but I also do staffing, doubles, diablo, juggling, contact juggling and Astro Jax. I havent gone anywhere near devil sticks as they are stupidly hard...and I dont have much perserverance.



*edit* the last sentence is now pure bullsht.



jonathan is 17



We goto school together in the shithole which is Dr. Challoners Grammar School, Amersham and we have done for 4 years



It was Frosty Poi who got me into poi on a german exchange trip last october. i got the chase in 1 minute...and the 3 beat in about 5



i like nutella, cheese and sara lee double chocolate gateaux...cos its bloody fantastically chocolatly lovely



[ 17. June 2003, 22:29: Message edited by: The United Chains of Fire (Jon) ]

SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Yes jon, i meant Kat was weirder than me and not you......honest.....there there (*Pats jon on the head in the most patronising way he can*)

Here have a sweety......

And your lyrics are wrong mate -

'Has it come to this' - Streets

Has it come to this?
Original Pirate Material
Yer listening to the streets
Lock down your aerial
Make yerself at home
We got diesel or some of that homegrown
Sit back in yer throne, turn off yer phone
Cos this is our zone
Videos, televisions, 64's Playstations
We're paring with precision
Few herbs and a bit of Benson
But don't forger the Rizla,
Lean like the Tower of Pisa
Liza, I'll raise yer,
And this is the day in the life of a Geezer
For this ain't a club track
Pull out yer sack and sit back
Whether you white or black
Smoke weed, chase brown
Or toot rock
We're on a mission, support the cause
Sign a petition, summon all your wisdom
The Music's a gift from the Man on high
The Lord and his children
Triple teenyear rudeboys
Come rain or snow the boodah flows
You don't know?
Stand on the corner watch the show
Cos life moves slow
Sort yer shit out then roll
Sex, Drugs 'n' On The Dole
Some men rise, some men fall
I hear ya call, stand tall now
Has it come to this?
Original Pirate Material
Your listening to the streets
Lock down your aerial
I'm just spitting, think I'm ghetto?
Stop dreaming, my data's streaming
I'm giving your bird them feelings
Touch yer toes and touch the ceiling
We walk the tightrope of street cred
Keep my dogs fed, all jungle all garage heads
Gold teeth, valentinos and dreads
Now, we were verbally slapped up
Physically tip-top, spinally ripped up
I do the science on my laptop, get my boys mashed up
Your listening to The Streets
You'll bear witness to some amazing feats
Bravery in the face of defeat
All line up and grab yer seat
Cos Tony's got a new motor
SR Nova driving like a joyrider
Speeding to the corner
Yer mother warned yer to sound system banger
Has it come to this?
Original Pirate Material
Your listening to The Streets
Lock down your aerial
My underground train runs from Mile End to Ealing
From Brixton to Boundsgreen
My spitting's dirty my beats are clean
So smoke weed and be lean
I step out my yard through the streets
In the dead heat all I got's my spirit and my beats
I play fair don't cheat
And keep the gangsters sweet
Turn the page, don't rip it out at yer age
Move to the next stage
Lock the rage inside the cage,
Like SK it's New Day
But don't take the shortcut through the subway
It's pay or play, these geezers walk the gangway
Deep seated urban decay, deep seated urban decay,
Rip down posters alight
From last weeks big Garage night
And the next Tyson fight
I cook em at 90 degrees farenheit
And don't copy the copyright
I got em in my sites, blinding with the lights
Taken to dizzy new heights
Blinding with the lights, blinding with the lights
Dizzy new heights
Has It come to this?
Original Pirate Material
Your listening to The Streets
Lock down your aerial.

Oh and congrats on page 4.

What's the prize?

[ 27. February 2003, 22:37: Message edited by: SmallBoy ]

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
slag.....

SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
That's the prize?

A slag or a pile of slag.
One being a female of some description or Jez, and the other being a bi-product of iron ore smelting.

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


simian110% MONKEY EVERY TIME ALL THE TIME JUST CANT STOP THE MONKEY
3,149 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Actually I believe he's referring to Slag, the member of the Dinobots that could transform from a Triceratops to a robot that looked a bit like a Triceratops.

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."


SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Bugger, and I was hoping for Grimlock coz he's double 'ard.......

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
nah..the prize is a kiss from me with tongues...thats why i hoped a girlie would win....oh well smallboy...there you go again and put your foot in it!


now pucker up sexy!

SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
I keep telling you that you're too young for me mate -

Dare ya - hehehehehehe........

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
i've heard all you need to do is give him a couple of beers and he's yours anyway jon...

. . .

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Not sure that 8 would constitute a couple.....errr I mean errrr fuck it, run away....(*Exit stage left*)
(Left being a top floor window surrounded in barbed wire)

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
i should have taken advantage of him on his birthday really then..

oh well....there really is only one person for me in the whole wide world and you all know who that is..

UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
(me by the way if you didnt know)

SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
See that's the advantage of split personalities, you're never lonely..........

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
... and Cam wonders why I am insane when faced with the madness of UCFs page???

Hiya Sweetie - how was Camden?

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
to say that the area has declined recently would be a understatement....we saw no less than 20 policemen between the station and cyberdog!

i have however got meself some amazing rave trousers...and only 20 squid! result!

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Ick! What is it with the police picking on all us poor smokers! I felt like such a crim last night hanging around an estate to get my 'fix'!

I am such a nice law abiding girl really, its not my fault if the law does not concur with my view of the world

I presume you did not get your fab new raver pants in Cyberdog! Ouch, that place would put a pinch on the old wallet! I have not bought any fun party clothes in ages , prolly cause I have been too busy spending the money partying! Ah well, better to be out there partying threadbare, than looking great sitting at home in my bedroom

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
indeeed not in cyberdog...ouch..its really is a burden too high for your wallet to carry. it seems to be a the tourists who go and blow all their money in there on a glowing teeshirt...

i have a bit of a dilemma..i could really do with a , however my mum didnt come home last night (she was at a party she told me so who knows where she is!), however i have no baccy to roll up with..should i go ever the shop and buy some baccy and phone credit, a tmept fate that my mum will coem back......or should i not bother and say out of trouble?

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Umm, would your Mum find out if you bought some smoke?

To roll or not to roll, that is the question?

You need baccy to roll - therefore you need to go to the shop

I think you should go to the shop. The worse that can happen is that your mother comes home and you can't smoke after all.

In which case you will have your baccy for another time.

Can you not smoke in your room?

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
no...cos then my room would ming of smokey smoke things...


erm....has someone farted?

MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
My expectation of Jonathan:
An ickle ball of energy (slightly larger than Smallboy) who is an amazing spinner with a nutty sense of humor and has a spliff hanging out of his mouth.

The reality of Jonathan:
An ickle ball of energy (slightly larger than Smallboy) who is an amazing spinner with a nutty sense of humor...but no spliff.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


SmallBoy - xCarpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London


Posted:
OK, UCOF gets "amazing spinner" does he???

Right........(*sulks off to find a sliff not to share with Mike.*)

Small Lardy Person In Disguise


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
i did bring hash..i just didnt skin up for some reason...probably cos i was late and you left early...

oh well...i will do on wednesday when you are over again...

but trust me....i smoke enuf anyway to keep me in between total memory loss and stoned....

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
My little sis smokes (cigs and spliffs) in her room and there is always a lovely smell of incense floating around to mask the smell! I hate the smell of smoke lingering in a room though too!

I think the fart smell was the sulphuric smell of fireworks as Lightening entered the thread! But hey, you can deal with the stink if he is going to come in saying lovely things, ne?

Does anyone know what bastard came up with the dumb idea of a 5 day working week?

[ 03. March 2003, 22:50: Message edited by: Kat ]

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
well....i dont know about that....


YES of course i can....i didnt actually see mike spin any poi..only his staff... oooooooooh...'ow queer!

this is really boring...i should be in general studies..but i cant be arsed....so im in IT posting on HOP for an hour solidly...

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
And I should pretend to be hard at work as my boss is back this week and he brought me a nice wee present.

But instead I am posting on HOP! However my expression is serious and work-like.

Therefore do not post anything that will make me smile, therefore blowing my cover!

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
GOOD IDEA!!


the teacher has only just now turned up...with 7 minutes of the lesson left... ahahahaha...how i love this school lark...NOT!

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Sometimes I think maybe it would not be so bad being a teacher! Long hols, regular pay.

But then I think of being stuck in a classroom with 30 sweaty bored teenagers and I think
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't go back there!!

I actually did not mind school. If I was in a really crap 'not today' mode, my mother would let me stay home and help her and study at home, so my schooling was pretty relaxed which was good. I was lucky in that I had a really fun bunch of friends, 2 of whom I met up with Saturday night and we still have the best laughs together!

School can be a complete bore, but then so can working. But at least you get paid for it.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
quote:
Originally posted by SmallBoy:
OK, UCOF gets "amazing spinner" does he???

Right........(*sulks off to find a sliff not to share with Mike.*)

Well, I figure that went without saying for you, Smallboy.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
WOOHOO!!

i got bigged up and smallboy got publicly humiliated!


nothing new there then...

CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,967 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
Does UCOF actually spin?


In my experience he has a brief burst of randomness the sleeps for the rest of the day.

But then i've only met him about 3 times....

Meh


simian110% MONKEY EVERY TIME ALL THE TIME JUST CANT STOP THE MONKEY
3,149 posts
Location: London


Posted:
Public humili@tion - C@ntus style

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."


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