Forums > Social Chat > One more friend lost

Posted: 4th Jan 2005


Much hugs and sypmathy.

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
x1 million!!!
i'm sorry to hear you lost a friend. not much else i can say realy.... i neary lost my best mate in a road accident. he's still critical an in intensive care. they took his leg early yesterday (amputated). i know it's nothing like loosing your friend. but he's in london and i'm in norwich and i cant do a damn thing to help. i feel...well useless!!! all i can do is think of his wife and child and what if anything the army will do with him after.

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
thanks you guys.......i hope your friend is ok rave, ill send some positive energy that way..........ya know with all that is going on, and all the energy i am sending out to others, its amazing i have any for myself but thats my nature self giving, i just cant help thinking that some one could and should have prevented this!!

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
fryed fish. i don't know much about addiction, apart from i nearly killed myself too. long story all in the past. i do know that addicts are very secrative. they'll do what ever, no matter what it takes. even if they have to be sneaky and hide it from their friends. take solice from this.... YOU WEREN'T TO KNOW THERE FOR, YOU COULD NOT INTERVINE. it's hard dude, coping with loss. believe me i had my fair share to deal with. as long as you hold their memory in your heart, they'll always be with you in life!

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
yea i know, i have had a battle with addiction myself, i just had to call a mutual friend, he was alot closer to her than i, man that was one of the hardest phone calls i have ever had to make...

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
mate if it means anything to you, i'm nearly in tears!!!! i'm a bloke and not affraid to admit that to a total stranger. i hope you have a close friend to comfort you and provide a shoulder to cry on. don't make the misstake i once made and thy to be strong and bottle it up!!!! you need to let it out.

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
i am the friend that provides the shoulder to cry on, just always been who i am, i keep it together so others can let it out. its funny but my oldest friend calls me an emotional spunge, other peole come to when they are upset, i listen, and i take in their pain, then when i am alone i release it........its become almost spiritual for me, like this is why i am here ya know...........

so ill do what i always do, ill hold it together so others dont have to, then when no one is around ill let it out.........again thank you

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
my thoughts are with you!

Posted: 4th Jan 2005
Hey mate.

Keep the chin up. You've got the support of a whole lot of us here.

Take care of yourself

Where the mind goes,
The body will follow...

Posted: 5th Jan 2005

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

Posted: 5th Jan 2005
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your friend. it's strange that even if we don't see a person often we still feel their absence when they die. I hope that you're getting through.

Posted: 5th Jan 2005
again thank all of you.

i figured out why this is bothering me so much, other than the obvious reason, i never got a chance to goodbye. that seems to be the norm for the people that die in my life. everyone that has passed away, friends, family, all of them, i never got a chance to tell them wht they ment to me in life............

from now on i will make it point to tell everyone in my life what thy mean to me at least once, that way they know.........

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

Posted: 5th Jan 2005
My thoughts are with you, I personally have always had a very realistic view on death, probably due to my Father dying of The big 'C' when I was 13, but I had a very close friend take his own life with a noose a few years ago, different thing in some ways but the same in others, I personally had no idea he was that fed up of this world but it does make you angry with them and question yourself in lots of ways. The only thing you can do from any situation is learn from it, regret is a total waste of energy and time and will hinder any help and advice you may have for other people. You sound a good person who is blaming yourself to a certain extent, from what I have understood you have nothing to feel bad about. We are put on this life to have fun, look after number one but above all to make a difference to other peoples lives. My friend who took his life "god rest his soul" made a very calculated descion to end his time and I have to accept this and try to understand his descion however another close friend was killed 10 days later as a victim of drink drive accident, although I was not as close to this guy I mourned far more as his life was taken from him. Yes it was a tough couple of weeks but I have a very good circle of friends.
I know it's easier said than done but try not hold yourself responsible for your friends addiction and just concentrate on doing what you do best, giving people positive chi (energy)
As a Shiatsu practitioner I would strongly recommend seeking a local practiotioner and having a few sessions, this will take you into a very deep state of relaxation and will help release your emotions in a positive way.
I would be more than happy to advise of any people in your area that I may know of if this is of interest.

As for your comment on saying goodbye, I totally understand but rest assured they knew you were a good person and would have turned to you if they had wanted help.

Hope this was of help
Many thoughts and wishes to everyone
Jason
AKA Phat J

When faced with the inevitable, you MUST face the inevitable.

"The All Nighter"
surf film with that girl from The Bangles.

Posted: 5th Jan 2005
for both of you

We rarely get chance to say good-bye - we have to do it as part of our mourning. And the only person who can help an addict is the addict - I married one and he died young too, but there was nothing I or anyone else could have done.

You love and give love so you will always find the energy to love more because you will always be loved back, open yourself to it, it's the best healer

'The last rays of crimson on the spindle tree as the cerise fruit splits and reveals its orange seeds in a gloriously clashing colour scheme no-one would ever dare to wear'
Euonymous Europeus

Posted: 5th Jan 2005
sorry to hear man drugs are the worst thing i think in this world... and i am so sorry to hear your loss becuase of one it just aint cool not much i can say that will help cept your stll hear to help others with your experience man live well

behind even the brightest light there still thrves a darkness...