Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

Before you have a second cup.

Why can't all my customers be as nice as the ones last night?

That's a good question.

Why are the front of my pants always wet after using the little boys room?

Because you turned the tap on too hard to begin with...

Why is the social component of the forum more active than the technical?

Probably because of me, Mr Majestic and Poje.

How come it took me four shots to correctly spell Poje?

Four letters.

Which end of the rainbow is the pot of gold?

Neither, i got there first... but there was only enough for a couple of beers!

Why is beer so expensive these days?

All the bubbles cause a lot of inflation... at least it tends to inflate my belly.

Oh gosh... why has it been so long since I've done any poi?!

Lazy? Arms eaten by a bear? Got lost in a bubble?... are the most likely answers...

Why am i doing this rather than the things i need to do?

because answering rasndom questions is more fun!!!!!!!!!!!

How has this post conuinued for 5 years?

Well, they are archived, but thread with no topical relevance are often easier to keep alive.

Why are maths puzzles more fun than maths coursework?

Maths puzzles you do out of choice, coursework is necessary...

What's going on behind those glazed eyes of yours?

"Damn, where is he?! How does he know the state of my eyes?!"

Which actually serves as a question too.

Because you forgot to turn the webcam off.

Argh! Why does Nethack keep killing me?

Who is Nethack by the way?

What is the difference between a man who fell down from the second floor and the man who fell from the tenth floor?

The man who fell from the tenth floor was pushed, the man who fell from the 2nd floor jumped out to try and catch him

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

They get tradies to do it - but they go over budget and past the deadline.

Why am I so indecisive?

Because you're young and full of vinegar.

Also, since astons question didn't really get answered I'll answer it!

Its because he's made of dried beef and your pockets are full of ham.

Why can't it ever be simple with exes?

Because after an x there's always the Y.

Why do you hold a spoon with your right hand yet you always hold a fork with your left?

it's the right thing to do, people who try to be original just end up feeling left out.

Why is it that I went to the trouble of walking around town for an hour looking for a spin-meet that seems to have not happened?

wrong town

if one was to climb a building (that was upside down so you'd be going towards the ground seeing as thats where the top is) (or at least was when you started climbing) whereupon a duck flew at your head and said "what ho a melon baller?" then how could jesus roll a log into a town houses elcetricity meter on chinese new year?

the same way the computerized fork ate the pear...by swimming around for hours untill it eventully evaporated into the clouds and zapped a hour hence winding up in the electrical meter and sitting there untill the percise time of the chinese new year when he jumped out to do teh chicken dance while spinning a pretty staff casue he rolls like dat

Now will someone please tell me why my utensils are fighting...i got a spoon and a fork going at it and the spork is crying....0_o

Spiritual differences - it's a religion thing!! Happens the world over!!

How much wood can that damn woodchuck chuck in an hour?

Roughly the same as the amount of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked.

Red lorry or yellow lorry?

Orange.

Why do people think that the rules of grammar and spelling no longer apply to them?

Mostly I think it's because they never really learnt them!!

Or they are so used to texting and having to shorten their words to fit in with 140 characters (or whatever it is) that they forget they can type whole sentences on t'internet and not worry about the number!! For myself, my excess use of !! is just bad habit! lol

Are squirrels the cute fluffy amusing little creatures everyone believes they are, or are they really just gangs of clever little thugs looking to intimidate us into giving them stuff?

Neither they own tesco's

in their natural habitat do FLAPjacks have wings?

No, they're just easily unsettled!!

Half a pound of tuppeny rice and half a pound of treacle...... what the hell does that make?

Weasel flavored popsicles.

If you normally find seeds in pears, how come there were 5 in my apple just now?

Because Mama Celeste left her favourite vest in her car, so she had to swim three miles and eat a crate of limousines to make sure the black magician didn't overtake a peacock driving a Volvo.


Did we ever discover precisely who was the gentleman or gentleress that may or may not have let one more dogs out on at least one occaision might have happened to have been?

No, I suspect it was the weasels as part of the badger propaganda machine against the forest Queen's minions!

Did the dinosaurs really die out or did someone just put them back in the cupboard?