Corrupt a Wish

You do, but try as you might, you can't even get her to notice you, and your like turns into a deep obsession, culminating in you having a breakdown and being sectioned.

And she turns out to be a man.


I wish I hadn't just run out of sugar.

You have plenty of sugar, and are driven insane by neighbours trying to borrow a cup of it (it always happens in the Beano, it must be normal.. )

By the way Pavlov, maybe you should have a) read that last wish a little more carefully, and b) checked Gabe's gender a little more carefully..

I wish the Library hadn't decided to go on strike on my day off, leaving me with no internet access for 2 days..

The library hasn't gone on strike. In contrast, they decided to have an open day for everybody. They left all the doors, widows and emergency exists open so everybody just dropped by and stole books, computers, chairs, bookshelves, in the end even the cute librarian from the second room on the left. By now, there is nothing left in the building, so nobody cares about opening hours, strikes or providing internet access any more.

I wish I had already finished the chapter I am writing.

oooh a fun new game. ('Tis new for me, I just got here)

You have the new sleeves for your fire-juggling, but they turn out to also be attached to the straight jacket they just shoved you into and are thus tied behind your back & kinda useless for juggling.

I wish I hadn't volunteered my (lack of) poi skills for this wee festival in October...

You hadn't volunteered, and instead get stuck sitting inside, glum, wishing you had. But that wish will get corrupted to. You get trapped in an endless loop of corrupted wishes.


I wish I wasn't reading a book written by Jordan.

Hehe.. you're not, you're having the same book *read to you* by Jordan.

I wish my cats weren't able to hear the housemartins in the roof.

awww, that'd be worse, it'd take so much longer to get through the book.

Your cats can't hear housemartins, because the housemartins are trained in the art of stealth, and proceed to steal food from you whenever they can.



I wish I wasn't tired.

You're not tired. You're in the middle of a manic phase of hyper alertness. Trouble is you're hyper alert to the the paranoid hallucinations of your own inner hell, as well as the perfectly accurate perception that about 1000 people you've completely p*ssed off with your endless babbling about subjects of marginal realness are just now arriving at your door in a giant vigilante swarm to do lots of nasty things to you, backed up by armed police and men in white coats who keep turning into attack penguins.

I wish I had endless paid leave.

You do, because you've lost your legs and arms and can't move or do poi any more.

I wish this room was a little cooler

The room becomes a little cooler...then alot as you realize its become detached from the planet as you spin endlessly through the empty void of space..

I wish the anastetic would wear off so I can feel my face again and eat =(

You think it's worn off, and start eating, only to realise you're hallucinating and eating your own face.

I wish I had 4 arms.

Nothing happens as you (i'm assuming) already have forearms...

I wish I lived in Sydney!

You do. In Sydney. The fat sweaty guy who lives next door. You're a gut worm.

I wish I wasn't wishing.

You are not wishing. You have succumbed to terminal despair. Your blood doesn't even want to circulate. It gives up and you expire in a large clot of misery.

I wish my boss was away forever

He is. He moves away, and takes the company with it. You are left jobless, and eventually homeless. You live the rest of your life under a bridge in a cardboard box.

You do, however, think your box is a particularly nice box.


I wish there were juggling conventions all year long.

There are now juggling conventions all year round but they are either on the exact oppisite side of the world as you or constantly on fire.

I wish I hadn't just lost The Game again >.<

You didn't, however you are about to. ([censored] )

I wish my back didn't hurt.

It doesn't. You have no back. Or torso. You're just legs, arms, head. You can no longer spin poi, or do anything normal people can.

I wish I had already put some effort in and learnt contact juggling.

you learned contact juggling...and at a remarkable pace! Taking your new skills you start to contact juggle 2 chainsaws at the same time.....well it was fun while it lasted.


I wish gas prices would come down.

gas prices come down 10c so you go and fill the tank and when you get home you find that you have a leak in the fuel tank.

I wish for a video camera.

you get your video camera .....but cannot find any beta-max tapes to put in it


i wish i could spend more time with the lass from yoga

You go out for a drink with the lass from yoga and her 6"5', overly possesive, millitary, Brick $#!*house of a boyfriend.

I wish for a Bowflex Body.

Your body flexes, exactly like a bow.. people keep tying string on you, and it does get annoying.
However, you do quite well in the archery section of the Olympics, but the guy who shot with you gets most of the credit.

I wish I was more organised.

you become super organised writing lists for every thing...infact you write so many lists that all the trees get cut down to keep you in paper ,the global temp increases dramatically and everywhere turns to desert


i wish it was Wednesday

you find out it is Wendesday, only to relise that you really mean to wish it was Tueday, and now you have lost it forever. ... or at least for another 6 days.

I wish I was eating Chocolate right now.

you eat all the choclate in the world become overly obice and die of a massive heart attack

i wish my dogs would sing

Your dog sings and becomes so famous that decides to go solo and abandon you.

I wish I were in Germany already!

Your in Germany, but its cold, and your lugage got mixed up at the airport and you now have alot of latix mini skirts, and not much else!

I wish my evil boss hadn't blocked youtube and i could use it now.

Your boss unblocks youtube. Unfortunatly because of massive copywrite infringement lawsuits Youtube is shut down the next day.

Oh how I wish, for soothing rain. All I wish is to dream again...