Nutella/Marmite/vegemite explained.

i kinda feel bad about making this post but i looked for an answer, and i loked for another place to ask this but nothign seemed right.

with the whole nutella/marmite/vegemite dialectic i cannot understand why nutella is and option. ive had nutella and vegemite and heard marmite is much like vegemite. while nutella is sweet and chocolate the others are salty and seem unrelated.

i also heard that vegemite is not vegetarian(or possibly vegan) is marmite the vegetarian(or possibly vegan) substitution?

Promite?

Again i appoligize for maing this thread seeing as im sure there are tons of threads on this but it didnt seem to fit. thanks everyone.

Awesome thread.


I shall attempt to explain;
Its kind of a really old skool (4+ years ago now) in-joke, mainly brought about by Cassandra (miss you babe if you read this!).

As im sure you have seen in the searching for posts on this, the were people who were hetro-spreadable, bi-spreadable and even tri-spreadable, in reagrds to vegemite/ marmite/ nutella.

People used to discuss/ chat/ bitch/ argue/ fight about which was best and people mainly lived peacefully.
Unfortunalty, things came to a nasty head in the "Condiment choice carnage clash of '03" where well over 5000 peices of toast lost their crumbs after being thrown by opposing sides, trying to lure the combatants to "the other side" (depending on your condiment of choice of course).

Then, in the Autumn of 2003, the unspeakable happened. A member of the Leigion of Nutella was virtually killed on the forum by another member of the Marmite Alliance with a frozen load of marmite, sharpened into a point. The 5000 pieces of toast loosing their virtual lives was bad enough, but when a member of the board lost their virtual life and was forced to re-register, Malcolm said enough was enough and placed a carpet ban on the toast wars/ speaking of condiments in order to calm everyone down.

Members were now banned from referencing to, or mentioning
any or the banned breakfast spreads. This worked as planned, and soon everyone was happy enough just to sit there discussing what music they spin to, how to make sparkly poi as well as how to change the colour of fire. Sometimes they even asked each other if they prefered "X" or "X^1".

After about a year, when Malcolm was sure nothing would kick off again with regards to the banned spreads, he got Doc Lightning to produce a standard "introduction thread template" in which the new member of the board was asked to say which of Marmite, Vegemite or Nutella they preferred. This question was included so the member could be "placed in boxes" (I see a boundry, I eat a boundry and wash it down with a hot steaming cup of rules) and categorised. It is scientific fact that Marmite lovers would kick off violence first (due to the excess of Vitamin B contained in the marmite), that the Nutella supporters as generally docile due to the "aaaaaaaaaaah" and "mmmmmmm" factors of Nutella. Malcolm wanted to find these marmite eating trouble makers and keep an eye on them as soon as possible.

And peaceful it has remained until this day. There is a small group of people who have joined together in secret, ready to step in and defend the peace, should the Breakfast spread battle start ever again, but we arent allowed to talk about them.

*Aims a Nutella cannon at Jonny UCOF*

It's LIES!!! ALL LIES, I SAY!!!!

*pulls the trigger*

Oi!
Thats friendly fire!
Im on your team!

You could have aimed for my mouth at least... (umm.. erm.. you know what I mean )

Ah, Jonny, I wish you were "on my team."

*cough*

ok...soo....that makes sence...i guess

all three are "breakfast" spreads huh? good to know, ive been eating nutella the wrong way.

what about marmite and vegemite? whats the difference and is one vegitarian or vegan and one not?
or does marmite just have mroe vit b?

very interesting. maybe thats why i didnt like vegemite. i never knew about the brewing aspect but i think Fosters (only Oz beer ive had) is Australian for piss.

i tihnk ill give marmite a go....if i ever happen upon it. thanks for the info you endless abyss of usefull information.

mmmmm, you seem to know a lot about *mite for someone who claims to be in the nutella camp

Poje... I hate to be the one to tell you, but Fosters is about as Australian as penguins are Jewish.
Its all just a clever marketing ploy

Yakumo: Know your enemy.

*Gets to work on a pic of a penguin in full Hassidic Rabbi gear...*

P.S. Marmite AND Nutella. Not both at once. Yet...

Mmmm... Nutella.

did you know if you stir marmite for long enough it turns white?!

hmmm....good question.... i just found two tubs in the cupboard dated march 04 and october 04, they both look fine, and i think they smell fine, i hate the smell of marmite so i cant be sure, and im certainly not taste testing it. perhaps ill ask somone else to do it?

but there you quite possibly 3 year old marmite still going strong.
anyone got anything older?

Jon, thank you for being so patient and explaining everything fully. As well as giving me another reason to not like Marmite/vegimite/promite.
As I said in another thread, you are perfect at being you

Jonny!! I haven't laughed at a thread so much for ages!!

P.S- Nutella rules, marmite/vegemite drools.

Peanut butter ftw.

i think they add stuff to Marmite to give it a "distinctive flavour"

why can't nutella, Marmite/Vegemite, peanut butter all live together happily?
they all go together.
(maybe its best not to answer, for the sake of no arguments)

ooopppss...should read the whole thread before posting. Wow, now I know all about vegemite.

Fosters is like Jewish peguin piss. (Do penguins pee)

Im going to join Polarity in the peanut butter splinter group
.
I was originally in the Nutella clan, but only after the most of the events listed above occured
(I wandered around the desolate landscape, levelled by blasts of Yeasty stuff and fake praline, muttering "What happened here?". A certain Mr only-likes-to-be-known-by-his-initials-and-keeps-changing-his-name-every-so-often wandered up, wearing naught but a pair of orange trousers, and proclaimed "Here once lay the city of Wah-Shing-Ton.")

However, the rediscovery of Crunchy Peanut Butter has led to my having Sun Pat for my main course, and Nutella for dessert.

Heresy, you say? Then I say you are all heretics!

*runs behind Polarity knowing Sake and pretty lights will halt the hippies*

I've just been reading up on Marmite and ALL it's yeast is sourced from breweries and it has the approval of the Vegetarian Society. The history of Vegemite makes NO mention of being a vege' alternative to Marmite. So, references for your theory please George. Marmite in NZ has a few different ingredients and this is probably why it tastes better . For a really awesome taste sensation try honey AND marmite on buttered toast (NB: the marmite to honey ratio is tricky to get right so have a hungry canine, goat or flatmate on hand to consume the failed experiments).

Enough of this, I'm off for a nice blackcurrant jam sandwich...

the reference is my mother and she would never be wrong!

She might never be wrong, but she's maybe getting confused with Bovril, which used to be meaty (the stuff they take out of corned beef, except they were taking bovril out first and then had corned beef left which they only later discovered they could sell to maiden aunts to foist upon their unsuspecting relatives when they visited for Sunday tea). Bovril's been veggie for a while, but I heard lately that there'll be beef in it again soon/now.

As far as P-B is concerned, sun pat is a nestlé product and so therefore evil.

(And marmite/P-B combinations are the best taste sensation ever to get put on toast (though, to be fair, I've not tried the marmite/honey combo, nor the marmite/nutella variants suggested in this thread. Marmite/vegemite would just be silly)

My jar of marmite says January 05 on it, so it's a relative youngster, but still fine...

You sucked in foreigners who think we actually drink Fosters

Fosters: Australian for "Camel Piss"

Doc, thats clearly a picture of a school boy Tux, who has been tagged by someone with a Star of David as thier tag.

He aint Jewish. Sorry!!

Look closer, Jonny. He's circumcised!

he's not circumsised - he's castrated!

*Crosses legs and smears Rougie with Nutella, promptly loses, and then flees*

penguins don't have fleas and why is that one wearing a viking helmet

PB and jam mixed together on toast is a superior taste sensation I think ...


*wonders if this isn't the start of the Second World Condiment of Choice War to end All Wars and if so, how much bread will be cut down like so many sheaves of wheat at harvest time*

pssstt.. george: click me

I of course recognised him as the Linux penguin...

Yes, but he's Jewish. He just doesn't wear his Jewish Star bling out when he's making professional appearances because Linux is officially non-demoninational.

But he's a nice Jewish boy...er...penguin. His zady and my zady were landsmen and our bubbes play bridge together!

AND he's a die-hard Nutellite!!!

AND he just lost.

Well, to clarify things a bit further in regards and in defense of my favorite friend P.B. (though admittedly i've become quite the Nutella lover after having moved from the US to Europe). It is unlike the other camps such as Nutella (r)(tm)(c) or Marmite (r)(tm)(c) or Vegemite (r)(tm)(c) as there is no one recipe or form of said delicacy. Nobody (in Europe anyways) would be caught dead trying to compare Nutella rip-offs (often with nearly identical pacakaging and ingredients, costing considerably less, yet tasting like... well.. Fosters!? ) to the real thing, it's immediate grounds for total societal ostracization!

Thusly do i declare that all P.B. variations should either not be compared or it should be split into brands (ignoring chunky/smooth is the best way to approach it, otherwise you have silly sub-wars fighting over chunky/smooth) such as Skippy or Jiffy (both US-made since early 1900's) or Gramma's special hand-made with a thick layer of oil at the bottom or whatever other flavours have come out of Australia (i believe they invented the first forms of P.B.).

I don't consider any of the brands coming out of Europe to be real Peanut Butter, as they're much too lacking in fat, oil, sugar, etc. and taste like refurbished cow pies. Perhaps one exists, but i've tried about 30 different brands in a number of countries (austria, germany, england, greece, slovenia, hungary...)

As a possibly interesting addendum, Nutella is actually in the same "class" as Peanut Butter, also being a nut butter except utilizing hazelnut instead of peanuts (though they cheat by adding cocoa to the mix )

I know you're a hippy. I was talking about the other hippies...

Sorry, yes, Sun Pat is evil, but I, as using the brand name for generic comedy value, and as such I, by association, am not evil.

However, my english is rubbish, and I am actually evil, I'm just not successfully evil, as yet. I still need to buy the plasterboard, the chairs and the sharks for my lair.

They come free with every purchase of evil lair merchandise from B&Q.
Its like nectar points. You get a free henchman when you spend £100.

for marmite dont they scrap the bottom of a bear barrel... tis still tasty... never tried vegemite... hate nuttla
XD

RTFT

Blasphemer! Heretic! Non-believer!
*points at Fireflyfaerie*

Is this the bear barrel you speak of?

This is by far the funniest thread I have ever read.

Rouge, I can vouch Australians do not drink Fosters. I never even saw anywhere selling it, enver mind anyone drinking it whilst I was there.

Also for the record I dislike Marmite, Vegemite, Nutella & Peanut Butter. All are evil in my opinion, even more evil than Flashpoint.

OOoh...there for a minute, I thought UCoF was blasting me!!! I was going to be upset for being called such names for stating the obvious...that American beer just sux!!!

I like to spread a mixture of scrambbled eggs and heinze tommy sauce on my toast.

I am in this thread because Mr UCOF directed me here.

Hey Steaks,
would you like a nutella sandwich?



I just made them, and I'd be very, very hurt and upset if you refused one.

..Actually, it just occured to me that by "bare" Glenneroo Might've meant without bread/toast/rusks/rice cakes/whatever, thus making an unbareable spread one that you wouldn't eat straight from the jar with a teaspoon (which would be pretty hardcore with marmite, that stuff can make your tongue bleed... I'm off to try it...)

I know many people who are fans of Nutella who regularly eat it straight from the pot with a spoon. 1 in particular who actually gaurds her pots of nutella as well as measuring the amount left in it!

Dipping cadbury's fingers in Nutella always works quite nicely... Or peanut butter. Or both. Mmmm... cholesterol.

MMM.... Nutella with a spoon. Haven't done that in a while. But I will right now!!! Spreading Nutella onto bread and coating it in sprinkles is good too!

nutella spoons then dipped in 100s and 1000s

Mmmm....Nutella with a spoonbill.

marmite with spoon - been there, done that... tongue still intact - see...

mm..late night salt fix with Vegemite on a spoon.

funny how only the originator of the topic even mentiones promite.

Promite is the one made with meat extract as opposed to vegetable extract found in marmite/vegemite and the hazelnut extract found in nutella.

peanut butter and bannana FTW

or cinimon (why isn't there a cinnimon spread?)

lemon butter is good too but hard to find good quality stuff.

hmm meat extract huh? wheres that come from?

well of course, why wouldnt i mean the geographic location? ...........

Hah, brilliant read.

i meant beer barrel....
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Just teasing!

lol still dont like nutella.

HERETIC!

BURN THE WITCH!


( )

Jon, we stopped calling Heretics witchies a couple of hundred years ago.
We stopped burning 'witches' a few hundred years later

Oh right..
um..

Get Mech to thwap her then?

But you will have to agree the terms with Mech. Otherwise she will be expecting it, so it won't work then

yer ur plans rele not gonna work!

hmmm look at this

lol i like this reply

[Quote]Glad you had fun with this experiment. But remember, safety first. All dangerous, noxious/volatile substances should be handled in a fume hood properly vented to the outside![/Quote]

I'm a witch...and an American, at that...and I like Nutella...it's yummy on raisin toast, too...

Can't really say about the others...haven't had the opportunity to try them, yet...and with some of the descriptions of such, I'm not sure I want to...especially promite...just...ewwwwwww!!!

http://www.marmite.co.nz/home-page/fact-or-fiction

http://www.marmite.co.nz/home-page/faqs

yeah!

Vegemite ftw!!!!!

And VB is the only proper Aussie beer

Heh. Nice bump.

can't agree on the VB: Cooper's red or Cascade.

Thanks

Hmmm, Ill stoop to that

Jameth, where in NSW are you??

Newcastle.

Drink a real beer guys XXXX bitter ftw. *shakes head at southerners and their sex-in-a-boat beer*

Mmmm victoria Bitter :)~

WB Chris!

NUTELLA FTW!

Boags!

You think XXXX, which is a mid-strength beer, ISN'T sex-in-a-boat beer?

You have some serious issues.

Technically, VB is the widest drunk all over Australia. Like it or not, that's the figure. Which I always found interesting as working in bars for 5 years (in Victoria at that), Carlton Draught was the most common. Therefore it must be some non-Victorians getting into the VB!

Sex-in-a-boat beer? Do I really want to ask?

If beer is "sex in a boat" then it's "f-ing close to water."

Cascade with lemon?

Lemon with cascade

Is cascade a beer? cause when i see ya'll saying that it makes me think of dishwasher detergent...

Anyone seen the Jewish penguins in "It's a Small World" In Disney Florida? lmao!