I've got a theory on HOPs amazing service

OKok, I've been thinking this through, and this is the only way it could make sense.
We all know HOP are amazing at delivery, (and quality but I'm not gonna talk about that now).. when it comes to speed..its just otherworldly, never seen before, in any company anywhere..well, thats my own opinion.
You buy stuff online, from your own country, and somehow you receive stuff from HOP few days before, when you ordered on the same day!!How??
I think..well, Id LIKE to think..that in fact, the whole truth of HOP - why it's known by everyone, why they're so reliable and never seem to be tooo busy - is because in fact, they have branches all around the planet, in all continents, with hundreds of employers who work there for life, and are forbidden from mentioning the name HOP. Therefore, speed of delivery is self-explanatory! it would also explain the increase in poisters around....

Well, gotta go now..just thought i'd share this with you because I am utterly bored
PEACE AND LOVE!!!

ps: if you wish to throw a frying pan, or larger utensils, at me..feel free

also, feel free to share any other theories

I like to think that HoP is like Santa

HoP is is like santa, except he doesnt help you set yourself on fire cuz he's softcore!

if HoP does employ hundreds of people, i want to be one!

Hundreds of people, or hundreds of elves?

are you suggesting HoP IS santa?

that could make sense..you know how they always say that near Xmas period they're very busy and all... it could make sense!

zomblegods, ye may be right!

And if you're bad with your poi and don't treat it right, it'll turn into a lump of coal!...well, yeah, sorta!

or it'll give you a lump the size of coal!

Ok, so Malcolm is Santa...is Georgemc Rudolph?

well it makes cantus make sense now..... i always knew he was a secret elf

Ok, so we agree on Santa and Co. are in fact HOP.

Any other theories to prove Santa's customers wrong?Sorry..by customers I meant..hmm, what did I mean?? What are we to santa??Cuz we don't buy things off him, (well apparently we do now)..so clearly we're not customers..too many questions..

I disagree. I happen to have inside knowledge and I know that Malcolm, DOES make use of elves. However, HoP supports an elven union (unlike Santa, Inc., which is known to engage in union-busting tactics including threatening elves with ear-clippers) and gives them a living wage and benefits.

As for delivery, it is commonly known that NZ has a large faerie population, much of which was indigent and unemployed before HoP. Malcolm has employed them to give the fastest delivery you ever saw!

(Sorry, Malcolm, but I had to give away your secrets!)

Rudolph??!!!

I think someone forgot about the tunneling gnomes ...

Santa has tunnelling gnomes??

so the faeries dont have to worry about the weather when transporting goods, of course

Ah, like when they have to got to Scotland where it rains constantly?

or turbulence when flying hot air balloons, or storms when sailing their catamarans

You see without the gnomes and the wormholes (did I mention them already?), we have to rely on "evolved science" which some may mistake for "magic"...

A couple of theories about Santa's delivery system:

http://www.fnal.gov/pub/ferminews/santa/
http://www.mae.ncsu.edu/homepages/silverberg/santa/science%20of%20santa%20talk.htm

Since these are supposition, and already freely available in the public domain with a casual Google, I feel no qualms about presenting them here for your edification, enlightenment and amusement (or simply to throw you all off the true scent!) however, I'm not such a killjoy that I'd confirm or deny the truth of the matter. Who tells kids there is no such thing as Santa - not me! Here at HoP, we are preservers of the fun and belief in the unknown!
It is a fascinating subject however?

George

that's why they were shooting "LotR" in NZ!...

man... wake up!

so NZ also has lots of gobrins? GOBRINS!