HoP Armed Forces

*puts on her general hat*

Aight lads! Listen up!
My recruitment in gitasguy's intro isn't going so well, so I thought I'd better take this to the social chat!

Your HoP family needs YOU!

Come and share in a part of the glory! Become a person your parents will be proud of! Defend the lives of your children and your spouse! (and if you don't have a spouse, the uniforms are pretty spunky )

We suffered at the hands of an invasion only a few short months back, and we fought them off. But we can't be sure that the next attack won't be even more cunning than the last, so we need to be READY!

My sources tell me that the rednecks will ne next, so we need to start shaping up and rising to the danger!

When people ask where you were at the Battle of Home of Poi, do you want to say you were sitting back like a coward, or RIGHT THERE! Defending the people and the life that you love!

*slaps enlistment papers down on the desk*

ps: cures boredom

Reporting for duty Rouge Sir!

*scribbles on enlistment papers*

Aye, laddie! Me and me flamey pope hat be joining ye! AND MY AXE! Arr

Oh, and all these fellas want in too.



they applaud your efforts the only way technicolor can!

*gets out of civvies*

and the drill sargent agrees.

Um...... Whatever happened to peace and love?

Peace and love? Of course! this is an army of Hippies!

Water fights and jaegar bombs!

Can't we just envelop any marauders in big fluffy blankets and them until they see the joys of being poi spinning hippies and join us?

I don't like this talk of armies and such. Way too aggressive.

shhhh! don't announce our tactics like that!!!!

uh oh.

we have tactics? sounds all too organised and stuff for me.

if i want organisation i'll go to work

*puts on helmet*

*sticks pack of lucky strike in helmet*

*signs papers*

you were recruiting in paul's intro? I gotta catch up...

ummm, ye... I did everything I could to *avoid* enlisting in the army when I finished high school... so the last set of enlistment papers I saw, conveniently disappeared...

and I have no skills...

and I won't wear the uniform...

and I won't do what I'm told...


...if that's all ok... I'm in

Ahhh LURVE the smell of parafin in the mornin....

*chews fat Cuban cigar, packs splurge guns, hug bazooka and cuddle bombs*

excellent lads!

Pte Pogo, can you hug? can you throw a water bomb? can you sit under a tree with a cocktail of the non-molotov variety? then you have the skills!

And I was thinking something like this for a uniform

*gasp* I can do ALL those things and more!! and omg!! I even the uniform...

I going to hug those rednecks arses off... hmmm, that doesn't sound quite right, does it?

you have a very cunning plan indeed, general dragon... even your recruitment tactics are cunning

Excellent!

mkj: can you organise yourself to go and get the beer? I'll even let you drive the tank to the bottle-o!

sketch: excellent! love your enthusiasm!

Sambo: pass around those cuban cigars! there's a good lad!

As much it pains me to say, in a time of war. Torture of prisoners may be an ugly necessity if we are to survive.

I would like to appoint myself as 'Assigned Inquistor'. Skilled in the art of non-violent torture. Including...

- Subjecting the prisoner to the entire back catalogue of Mariah Carey on repeat
- Arrange performaces by Professional Fire Spinners who do the weave REALLY FAST*
- An Unabridged Adaptation of 'War & Peace' told through the meidum of interpretive dance..

has there been another invasion on HoP???

No.

Only a bored dragon in an angsty mood

But now we have an army hug-weilding hippies!

Shaolin - that's AWESOME! I promote you to Lieutenant Shaolin!

*brings in a dozen redneck-head trophies*

I only hugged them. honest!

Good work, Lad!

Or should I say Captain Brenn?

Can I be like the super computer that provide's all of your intelligence for the war? Like "I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E." in team america? Or the "big board" in Dr. Strangelove?

After all, I am the Master-Control-Program, I'm perfect for the job!

*Puts on HOP uniform and goes to intro thread to hug and cuddle all the newbies, just in case. Oh, and warn them that they've just entered a warzone!*

Can I head the Glomp Platoon please? Seeing as Glomps seem to have dissapeared into almost non existance it could be our secret weapon for the hardened cases where even Neon Shaolins Inquistive techniques and Skully's pink fluffy blankets can't penetrate!

Dykw Boy ready and willing!!!!

i have a small fleet of purate shipsjust ready to sial under the banner of the HOP Navy!

doe that mean i can be the Admiral?

I am so in!
*signs the recruitment papers*

What is your command General Rouge?
*salutes*

Can we ride unicycles into battle?
I think too many iraqies will have to die to fuel tanks..
Balloons... will there be balloons?

Not really sure of my duties, or how I would go about this...

But can I be a spy?

Like Mata Hari

Excellent! We have a navy under Admiral Dyke Boy!

And ooh, clare....I don't know about being a spy like Mata Hari....you do know she was sleeping with both sides, dont you? How about you be like the White Rabbit???

And Kathryn, of course there can be unicycles. ooooomigosh!!! TANK UNICYCLES!!!!!

hooray!!!!

right then, i need gunners (for the cheesecake cannons) steersmen, deckhands, and a ships cook, and a cat OR monkey, NO PARROTS. they poo on me

oh and we sail in our sloops, which look like this



under this flag of Piracy, which look like this YARR!!!

I think i should be in charge of the air force. I have a fleet of bombers waiting with 13 kilo-pillow warheads, designed for blanket bombing, and several fighter wings equipped with hug and forget missiles.